by T. Smollett
He is found by Lieutenant--Reconducted to his own House--Married to Mrs.Grizzle, who meets with a small misfortune in the Night, and asserts herPrerogative next Morning, in consequence of which her Husband's Eye isendangered.
Meanwhile Lieutenant Hatchway made shift to hobble to the church, wherehe informed the company of what had happened to the commodore: and thebride behaved with great decency on the occasion; for, as she understoodthe danger to which her future husband was exposed, she fainted in thearms of her sister-in-law, to the surprise of all the spectators,who could not comprehend the cause of her disorder; and when she wasrecovered by the application of smelling-bottles, earnestly begged thatMr. Hatchway and Tom Pipes should take her brother's coach, and go inquest of their commander.
This task they readily undertook, being escorted by all the rest of hisadherents on horseback; while the bride and her friends were invited tothe parson's horse, and the ceremony deferred till another occasion.
The lieutenant, steering his course as near the line of directionin which Trunnion went off, as the coach-road would permit, gotintelligence of his track from one farm-house to another; for such anapparition could not fail of attracting particular notice; and one ofthe horsemen having picked up his hat and wig in a by-path, the wholetroop entered the village where he was lodged, about four o'clock in theafternoon. When they understood he was safely housed at the George, theyrode up to the door in a body, and expressed their satisfaction in threecheers; which were returned by the company within, as soon as they wereinstructed in the nature of the salute by Trunnion, who, by this time,had entered into all the jollity of his new friends, and was indeed morethan half-seas-over. The lieutenant was introduced to all present as hissworn brother, and had something tossed up for his dinner. Tom Pipes andthe crew were regaled in another room; and, a fresh pair of horses beingput to the coach, about six in the evening the commodore, with all hisattendants, departed for the garrison, after having shook hands withevery individual in the house.
Without any further accident, he was conveyed in safety to his owngate before nine, and committed to the care of Pipes, who carried himinstantly to his hammock, while the lieutenant was driven away to theplace where the bride and her friends remained in great anxiety,which vanished when he assured them that his commodore was safe, beingsucceeded by abundance of mirth and pleasantry at the account he gave ofTrunnion's adventure.
Another day was fixed for the nuptials; and in order to balk thecuriosity of idle people, which had given great offence, the parson wasprevailed upon to perform the ceremony in the garrison, which allthat day was adorned with flags and pendants displayed; and at nightilluminated, by the direction of Hatchway, who also ordered thepatereroes to be fired, as soon as the marriage-knot was tied. Neitherwere the other parts of the entertainment neglected by this ingeniouscontriver, who produced undeniable proofs of his elegance and art inthe wedding-supper, which had been committed to his management anddirection. This genial banquet was entirely composed of sea-dishes; ahuge pillaw, consisting of a large piece of beef sliced, a couple offowls, and half a peck of rice, smoked in the middle of the board: adish of hard fish, swimming in oil, appeared at each end; the sidesbeing furnished with a mess of that savoury composition known by thename of lub's-course, and a plate of salmagundy. The second coursedisplayed a goose of a monstrous magnitude, flanked with twoGuinea-hens, a pig barbacued, a hock of salt pork, in the midst ofa pease-pudding, a leg of mutton roasted, with potatoes, and anotherboiled, with yams. The third service was made up of a loin of freshpork, with apple-sauce, a kid smothered with onions, and a terrapinbaked in the shell; and last of all, a prodigious sea-pie was presented,with an infinite volume of pancakes and fritters. That everythingmight be answerable to the magnificence of this delicate feast, he hadprovided vast quantifies of strong beer, flip, rumbo, and burnt brandy,with plenty of Barbadoes water for the ladies; and hired all the fiddleswithin six miles, which, with the addition of a drum, bagpipe, and Welshharp, regaled the guests with a most melodious concert.
The company, who were not at all exceptions, seemed extremely wellpleased with every particular of the entertainment; and the eveningbeing spent in the most social manner, the bride was by her sisterconducted to her apartment, where, however, a trifling circumstance hadlike to have destroyed the harmony which had been hitherto maintained.
I have already observed, that there was not one standing bed within thewalls; therefore the reader will not wonder that Mrs. Trunnion was outof humour, when she found herself under the necessity of being confinedwith her spouse in a hammock, which, though enlarged with a doubleportion of canvas, and dilated with a yoke for the occasion, was atbest but a disagreeable, not to say dangerous situation. She accordinglycomplained with some warmth of this inconvenience, which she imputedto disrespect; and, at first, absolutely refused to put up with theexpedient; but Mrs. Pickle soon brought her to reason and compliance,by observing that one night will soon be elapsed, and next day she mightregulate her own economy.
Thus persuaded, she ventured into the vehicle, and was visited by herhusband in less than an hour, the company being departed to their ownhomes, and the garrison left to the command of his lieutenant and mate.But it seems the hooks that supported this swinging couch were notcalculated for the addition of weight which they were now destined tobear; and therefore gave way in the middle of the night, to the no smallterror of Mrs. Trunnion, who perceiving herself falling, screamed aloud,and by that exclamation brought Hatchway with a light into the chamber.Though she had received no injury by the fall, she was extremelydiscomposed and incensed at the accident, which she even openly ascribedto the obstinacy and whimsical oddity of the commodore, in such petulantterms as evidently declared that she thought her great aim accomplished,and her authority secured against all the shocks of fortune. Indeed herbedfellow seemed to be of the same opinion, by his tacit resignation;for he made no reply to her insinuations, but with a most vinegaraspect crawled out of his nest, and betook himself to rest in anotherapartment; while his irritated spouse dismissed the lieutenant, andfrom the wreck of the hammock made an occasional bed for herself on thefloor, fully determined to provide better accommodation for the nextnight's lodging.
Having no inclination to sleep, her thoughts, during the remaining partof the night, were engrossed by a scheme of reformation she wasresolved to execute in the family; and no sooner did the first larkbid salutation to the morn, than, starting from her humble couch, andhuddling on her clothes, she sallied from her chamber, explored herway through paths before unknown, and in the course of her researchesperceived a large bell, to which she made such effectual applicationas alarmed every soul in the family. In a moment she was surroundedby Hatchway, Pipes, and all the rest of the servants half-dressed; butseeing none of the feminine gender appear, she began to storm at thesloth and laziness of the maids, who, she observed, ought to have beenat work an hour at least before she called; and then, for the firsttime, understood that no woman was permitted to sleep within the walls.
She did not fail to exclaim against this regulation; and being informedthat the cook and chambermaid lodged in a small office-house that stoodwithout the gate, ordered the drawbridge to be let down, and in personbeat up their quarters, commanding them forthwith to set about scouringthe rooms, which had not been hitherto kept in a very decent condition,while two men were immediately employed to transport the bed on whichshe used to lie from her brother's house to her new habitation; so that,in less than two hours, the whole economy of the garrison was turnedtopsy-turvy, and everything involved in tumult and noise. Trunnion,being disturbed and distracted with the uproar, turned out in his shirtlike a maniac, and, arming himself with a cudgel of crab-tree, madean irruption into his wife's apartment, where, perceiving a couple ofcarpenters at work in joining a bedstead, he, with many dreadful oathsand opprobrious invectives, ordered them to desist, swearing he wouldsuffer no bulkheads nor hurricane-houses to stand where he was master:but finding his remonstrances disregarded by
these mechanics, whobelieved him to be some madman belonging to the family, who had brokenfrom his confinement, he assaulted them both with great fury andindignation, and was handled so roughly, in the encounter, that in avery short time he measured his length on the floor, in consequence of ablow that he received from a hammer by which the sight of his remainingeye was grievously endangered.
Having thus reduced him to a state of subjection, they resolved tosecure him with cords, and were actually busy in adjusting his fetters,when he was exempted from the disgrace by the accidental entrance of hisspouse, who rescued him from the hands of his adversaries, and, in themidst of her condolence, imputed his misfortune to the inconsiderateroughness of his own disposition.
He breathed nothing but revenge, and made some efforts to chastise theinsolence of the workmen, who, as soon as they understood his quality,asked forgiveness for what they had done with great humility, protestingthat they did not know he was master of the house. But, far frombeing satisfied with this apology, he groped about for the bell, theinflammation of his eye having utterly deprived him of sight; and therope being, by the precaution of the delinquents, conveyed out of hisreach, began to storm with incredible vociferation, like a lion roaringin the toil, pouring forth innumerable oaths and execrations, andcalling by name Hatchway and Pipes, who, being within hearing, obeyedthe extraordinary summons, and were ordered to put the carpenters inirons, for having audaciously assaulted him in his own house.
His myrmidons, seeing he had been evil-treated, were exasperated at theinsult he had suffered, which they considered as an affront upon thedignity of the garrison; the more so as the mutineers seemed to putthemselves in a posture of defence and set their authority at defiance;they therefore unsheathed their cutlasses, which they commonly woreas badges of their commission; and a desperate engagement in allprobability would have ensued, had not the lady of the castleinterposed, and prevented the effects of their animosity, by assuringthe lieutenant that the commodore had been the aggressor, and that theworkmen, finding themselves attacked in such an extraordinary manner,by a person whom they did not know, were obliged to act in their owndefence, by which he had received that unlucky contusion.
Mr. Hatchway no sooner learnt the sentiments of Mrs. Trunnion, than,sheathing his indignation, he told the commodore he should alwaysbe ready to execute his lawful commands; but that he could not inconscience be concerned in oppressing poor people who had been guilty ofno offence.
This unexpected declaration, together with the behaviour of his wife,who in his hearing desired the carpenters to resume their work, filledthe breast of Trunnion with rage and mortification. He pulled off hiswoollen night-cap, pummeled his bare pate, beat the floor alternatelywith his feet, swore his people had betrayed him, and cursed himself tothe lowest pit of hell for having admitted such a cockatrice into hisfamily. But all these exclamations did not avail; they were among thelast essays of his resistance to the will of his wife, whose influenceamong his adherents had already swallowed up his own, and peremptorilytold him that he must leave the management of everything within-doors toher, who understood best what was for his honour and advantage. She thenordered a poultice to be prepared for his eye, which being applied, hewas committed to the care of Pipes, by whom he was led about the houselike a blind bear growling for prey, while his industrious yoke-fellowexecuted every circumstance of the plan she had projected; so that whenhe recovered his vision he was an utter stranger in his own house.
CHAPTER X.