The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

by T. Smollett

  He makes some Progress in her Affections--Is interrupted by a Disputebetween Jolter and the Jew--Appeases the Wrath of the Capuchin, whoprocures for him an interview with his fair Enslaver, in which he findshimself deceived.

  Peregrine, meanwhile, employed all his insinuation and address inpractising upon the heart of the Capuchin's fair charge. He had long agodeclared his passion, not in the superficial manner of a French gallant,but with all the ardour of an enthusiast. He had languished, vowed,flattered, kissed her hand by stealth, and had no reason to complainof his reception. Though, by a man of a less sanguine disposition, herparticular complaisance would have been deemed equivocal, and perhapsnothing more than the effects of French breeding and constitutionalvivacity; he gave his own qualifications credit for the whole, and withthese sentiments carried on the attack with such unabating vigour, thatshe was actually prevailed upon to accept a ring, which he presentedas a token of his esteem; and everything proceeded in a most prosperoustrain, when they were disturbed by the governor Israelite, who, inthe heat of disputation, raised their voices, and poured forth sucheffusions of gutturals, as set our lover's teeth on edge. As they spokein a language unknown to every one in the carriage but themselves,and looked at each other with mutual animosity and rancour, Peregrinedesired to know the cause of their contention; upon which Jolterexclaimed, in a furious tone, "This learned Levite, forsooth, has theimpudence to tell me that I don't understand Hebrew; and affirms thatthe word Benoni signifies 'child of joy;' whereas, I can prove, andhave already said enough to convince any reasonable man, that in theSeptuagint it is rightly translated into 'son of my sorrow.'"

  Having thus explained himself to his pupil, he turned to the priest,with intention to appeal to his determination; but the Jew pulled him bythe sleeve with great eagerness, saying, "For the love of God, bequiet: the Capuchin will discover who we are." Joker, offended at thisconjunction, echoed, "Who we are!" with great emphasis; and repeatingnos poma natamus, asked ironically, to which of the tribes the Jewthought he belonged? The Levite, affronted at his comparing him to aball of horse-dung, replied, with a most significant grin, "To the tribeof Issachar." His antagonist, taking the advantage of his unwillingnessto be known by the friar, and prompted by revenge for the freedom hehad used, answered, in the French language, that the judgment of Godwas still manifest upon their whole race, not only in their being in thestate of exiles from their native land, but also in the spite of theirhearts and pravity of their dispositions, which demonstrate them to bethe genuine offspring of those who crucified the Saviour of the world.

  His expectation was, however, defeated: the priest himself was toodeeply engaged to attend to the debates of other people. The physician,in the pride and insolence of his learning, had undertaken to displaythe absurdity of the Christian faith; having already, as he thought,confuted the Capuchin, touching the points of belief in which the RomanCatholics differ from the rest of the world. But not cemented with theimagined victory he bed gained, he began to strike at the fundamentalsof religion; and the father, with incredible forbearance, suffered himto make very free with the doctrine of the Trinity: but, when he leveledthe shafts of his ridicule at the immaculate conception of the BlessedVirgin, the good man's patience forsook him, his eyes seemed to kindlewith indignation, he trembled in every joint, and uttered, with a loudvoice, "You are an abominable--I will not call thee heretic, for thouart worse, if possible, than a Jew; you deserve to be inclosed ina furnace seven times heated; and I have a good mind to lodge aninformation against you with the governor of Ghent, that you may beapprehended and punished as an impious blasphemer."

  This menace operated like a charm upon all present. The doctor wasconfounded, the governor dismayed, the Levite's teeth chattered, thepainter astonished at the general confusion, the cause of which he couldnot comprehend, and Pickle himself, not a little alarmed, was obliged touse all his interest and assiduity in appeasing this son of the church,who, at length, in consideration of the friendship he professed for theyoung gentleman, consented to forgive what had passed, but absolutelyrefused to sit in contact with such a profane wretch, whom he lookedupon as a fiend of darkness, sent by the enemy of mankind to poison theminds of weak people; so that, after having crossed himself and utteredcertain exorcisms, he insisted upon the doctor's changing places withthe Jew, who approached the offended ecclesiastic in an agony of fear.

  Matters being thus compromised, the conversation flowed in a moregeneral channel; and without the intervention of any other accidentor bone of contention, the carriage arrived at the city of Ghent aboutseven in the evening. Supper being bespoken for the whole company, ouradventurer and his friends went out to take a superficial view ofthe place, leaving his new mistress to the pious exhortations of herconfessor, whom, as we have already observed, he had secured in hisinterest. This zealous mediator spoke so warmly in his commendation,and interested her conscience so much in the affair, that she couldnot refuse her helping hand to the great work of his conversion, andpromised to grant the interview he desired.

  This agreeable piece of intelligence, which the Capuchin communicated toPeregrine at his return, elevated his spirits to such a degree, that heshone at supper with uncommon brilliance, in a thousand sallies of witand pleasantry, to the delight of all present, especially of his fairFleming, who seemed quite captivated by his person and behaviour. Theevening being thus spent to the satisfaction of all parties, the companybroke up, and retired to their several apartments, where our lover, tohis unspeakable mortification, learned that the two ladies wereobliged to be in the same room, all the other chambers of the inn beingpre-occupied. When he imparted this difficulty to the priest, thatcharitable father, who was very fruitful in expedients, assured himthat his spiritual concerns should not be obstructed by such a slenderimpediment; and accordingly availed himself of his prerogative, by goinginto his daughter's chamber when she was almost undressed, and leadingher into his own, on pretence of administering salutary food for hersoul. Having brought the two votaries together, he prayed for successto the operations of grace, and left them to their mutual meditations,after having conjured them in the most solemn manner to let no impuresentiments or temptations of the flesh interfere with the halloweddesign of their meeting.

  The reverend intercessor being gone, and the door fastened on theinside, the pseudo-convert, transported with his passion, threw himselfat his Amanda's feet; and begging she would spare him the tedious formof addresses, which the nature of their interview would not permit himto observe, began, with all the impetuosity of love, to make the mostof the occasion. But whether she was displeased by the intrepidity andassurance of his behaviour, thinking herself entitled to more courtshipand respect; or was really better fortified with chastity than he or hisprocurer had supposed her to be; certain it is, she expressed resentmentand surprise at his boldness and presumption, and upbraided him withhaving imposed upon the charity of the friar. The young gentleman wasreally as much astonished at this rebuff, as she pretended to be at hisdeclaration, and earnestly entreated her to consider how preciousthe moments were, and for once sacrifice superfluous ceremony to thehappiness of one who adored her with such a flame as could not fail toconsume his vitals, if she would not deign to bless him with her favour.

  Notwithstanding all his tears, vows, and supplications, his personalaccomplishments, and the tempting opportunity, all that he could obtainwas an acknowledgment of his having made an impression upon her heart,which she hoped the dictates of her duty would enable her to erase. Thisconfession he considered as a delicate consent; and, obeying the impulseof his love, snatched her up in his arms, with an intention of seizingthat which she declined to give; when this French Lucretia, unableto defend her virtue any other way, screamed aloud; and the Capuchin,setting his shoulder to the door, forced it open, and entered in anaffected ecstasy of amazement. He lifted up his hands and eyes, andpretended to be thunderstruck at the discovery he had made; then inbroken exclamations, professed his horror at the wicked intention of o
urhero, who had covered such a damnable scheme with the mask of religion.

  In short, he performed his cue with such dexterity, that the lady,believing him to be in earnest, begged he would forgive the stranger onaccount of his youth and education, which had been tainted by the errorsof heresy; and he was on these considerations content to accept thesubmission of our hero; who, far from renouncing his expectations,notwithstanding this mortifying repulse, confided so much in hisown talents, and the confession which his mistress had made, that heresolved to make another effort, to which nothing could have promptedhim but the utmost turbulence of unruly desire.

  CHAPTER LIV.