The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

by T. Smollett

  The Doctor exults in his Victory--They set out for Rotterdam, where theyare entertained by two Dutch Gentlemen in a Yacht, which is overturnedin the Maese, to the manifest hazard of the Painter's Life--They spendthe Evening with their Entertainers, and next Day visit a Cabinet ofCuriosities.

  Tom was accordingly ordered to administer to his occasions; andthe conqueror, elated with his success, which he in a great measureattributed to his manner of attack, and the hymn which he howled, toldPeregrine, that he was now convinced of the truth of what Pindar sung inthese words, ossa de me pephileke Zeus atuzontai boan Pieridon aionta;for he had no sooner begun to repeat the mellifluent strains of thatdivine poet, than the wretch his antagonist was confounded, and hisnerves unstrung.

  On their return to the inn, he expatiated on the prudence andtranquility of his own behaviour, and ascribed the consternationof Pallet to the remembrance of some crime that lay heavy upon hisconscience; for, in his opinion, a man of virtue and common sense couldnot possibly be afraid of death, which is not only the peaceful harbourthat receives him shattered on the tempestuous sea of life, but also theeternal seal of his fame and glory, which it is no longer in his powerto forfeit and forego. He lamented his fate, in being doomed to live insuch degenerate days, when war is become a mercenary trade; and ardentlywished, that the day would come, when he should have such an opportunityof signalizing his courage in the cause of liberty, as that of Marathon,where a handful of Athenians, fighting for their freedom, defeated thewhole strength of the Persian empire. "Would to heaven!" said he, "mymuse were blessed with an occasion to emulate that glorious testimony onthe trophy in Cyprus, erected by Cimon, for two great victories gainedon the same day over the Persians by sea and land; in which it is veryremarkable, that the greatness of the occasion has raised the manner ofexpression above the usual simplicity and modesty of all other ancientinscriptions." He then repeated it with all the pomp of declamation, andsignified his hope, that the French would one day invade us with such anarmy as that which Xerxes led into Greece, that it might be in his powerto devote himself, like Leonidas, to the freedom of his country.

  This memorable combat being thus determined, and everything that wasremarkable in Antwerp surveyed, they sent their baggage down the Scheldtto Rotterdam, and set out for the same place in a post-waggon, whichthat same evening brought them in safety to the banks of the Maese. Theyput up at an English house of entertainment, remarkable for the modestyand moderation of the landlord; and next morning the doctor went inperson to deliver letters of recommendation to two Dutch gentlemen fromone of his acquaintance at Paris. Neither of them happened to be at homewhen he called; so that he left a message at their lodgings, with hisaddress; and in the afternoon, they waited upon the company, and, aftermany hospitable professions, one of the two invited them to spend theevening at his house.

  Meanwhile they had provided a pleasure yacht, in which they proposed totreat them with an excursion upon the Maese. This being almost the onlydiversion that place affords, our young gentleman relished the proposal;and, notwithstanding the remonstrances of Mr. Jolter, who declined thevoyage on account of the roughness of the weather, they went on boardwithout hesitation, and found a collation prepared in the cabin. Whilethey tacked to and fro in the river, under the impulse of a mackerelbreeze, the physician expressed his satisfaction, and Pallet wasravished with the entertainment. But the wind increasing, to theunspeakable joy of the Dutchmen, who had now an opportunity of showingtheir dexterity in the management of the vessel, the guests found itinconvenient to stand upon deck, and impossible to sit below, on accountof the clouds of tobacco smoke which rolled from the pipes of theirentertainers, in such volumes as annoyed them even to the hazard ofsuffocation. This fumigation, together with the extraordinary motionof the ship, began to affect the head and stomach of the painter, whobegged earnestly to be set on shore. But the Dutch gentlemen, who had noidea of his sufferings, insisted, with surprising obstinacy of regard,upon his staying until he should see an instance of the skill of themariners; and, bringing him on deck, commanded the men to carry thevessel's lee gunwale under water. This nicety of navigation theyinstantly performed, to the admiration of Pickle, the discomposure ofthe doctor, and terror of Pallet, who blessed himself from the courtesyof a Dutchman, and prayed to Heaven for his deliverance.

  While the Hollanders enjoyed the reputation of this feat, and thedistress of the painter, at the same time, the yacht was overtaken bya sudden squall, that overset her in a moment, and flung every manoverboard into the Maese, before they could have the least warning oftheir fate, much less time to provide against the accident. Peregrine,who was an expert swimmer, reached the shore in safety; the physician,in the agonies of despair, laid fast hold on the trunk-breeches of oneof the men, who dragged him to the other side; the entertainerslanded at the bomb-keys, smoking their pipes all the way with greatdeliberation; and the poor painter must have gone to the bottom, had nothe been encountered by the cable of a ship that lay at anchor near thescene of their disaster. Though his senses had forsaken him, his handsfastened by instinct on this providential occurrence, which he held withsuch a convulsive grasp, that, when a boat was sent out to bring himon shore, it was with the utmost difficulty that his fingers weredisengaged. He was carried into a house, deprived of the use of speech,and bereft of all sensation; and, being suspended by the heels, a vastquantity of water ran out of his mouth. This evacuation being made, hebegan to utter dreadful groans, which gradually increased to a continuedroar; and, after he had regained the use of his senses, he underwenta delirium that lasted several hours. As for the treaters, they neverdreamed of expressing the least concern to Pickle or the physicianfor what had happened, because it was an accident so common as to passwithout notice.

  Leaving the care of their vessel to the seamen, the company retired totheir respective lodgings, in order to shift their clothes; and in theevening our travellers were conducted to the house of their new friend,who, with a view of making his invitation the more agreeable, hadassembled, to the number of twenty or thirty Englishmen, of all ranksand degrees, from the merchant to the periwig-maker's prentice.

  In the midst of this congregation stood a chafing-dish with live coals,for the convenience of lighting their pipes, and every individual wasaccommodated with a spitting-box. There was not a mouth in the apartmentunfurnished with a tube, so that they resembled a congregation ofchimeras breathing fire and smoke; and our gentlemen were fain toimitate their example in their own defence. It is not to be supposedthat the conversation was either very sprightly or polite; that thewhole entertainment was of the Dutch cast--frowzy and phlegmatic;and our adventurer, as he returned to his lodging, tortured with theheadache, and disgusted with every circumstance of his treatment, cursedthe hour in which the doctor had saddled them with such troublesomecompanions.

  Next morning by eight o'clock, these polite Hollanders returned thevisit, and, after breakfast, attended their English friends to the houseof a person that possessed a very curious cabinet of curiosities,to which they had secured our company's admission. The owner of thiscollection was a cheesemonger, who received them in a woollen nightcap,with straps buttoned under his chin. As he understood no language buthis own, he told them, by the canal of one of their conductors, that hedid not make a practice of showing his curiosities; but understandingthat they were Englishmen, and recommended to his friends, he wascontent to submit them to their perusal. So saying, he led them up adark stair, into a small room, decorated with a few paltry figures inplaster of Paris, two or three miserable landscapes, the skins of anotter, seal, and some fishes stuffed; and in one corner stood a glasscase, furnished with newts, frogs, lizards, and serpents, preserved inspirits; a human foetus, a calf with two heads, and about two dozen ofbutterflies pinned upon paper.

  The virtuoso having exhibited these particulars, eyed the strangers witha look soliciting admiration and applause; and as he could not perceiveany symptom of either in their gestures or countenances, withdrew acurtain, and disp
layed a wainscot chest of drawers, in which, hegave them to understand, was something that would agreeably amuse theimagination. Our travellers, regaled with this notice, imagined thatthey would be entertained with the sight of some curious medals, orother productions of antiquity; but how were they disappointed, whenthey saw nothing but a variety of shells, disposed in whimsical figures,in each drawer! After he had detained them full two hours with a tediouscommentary upon the shape, size, and colour of each department, he, witha supercilious simper, desired that the English gentlemen would franklyand candidly declare, whether his cabinet, or that of Mynheer Sloane,at London, was the most valuable. When this request was signified inEnglish to the company, the painter instantly exclaimed, "By the Lard!they are not to be named of a day. And as for that matter, I would notgive one corner of Saltero's coffee-house at Chelsea for all the trashhe hath shown." Peregrine, unwilling to mortify any person who had donehis endeavour to please him, observed, that what he had seen was verycurious and entertaining; but that no private collection in Europe wasequal to that of Sir Hans Sloane, which, exclusive of presents, had costan hundred thousand pounds. The two conductors were confounded at thisasseveration, which, being communicated to the cheesemonger, he shookhis head with a significant grin; and, though he did not choose toexpress his incredulity in words, gave our hero to understand, thathe did not much depend upon his veracity. From the house of thisDutch naturalist, they were draggled all round the city by the painfulcivility of their attendants, who did not quit them till the evening waswell advanced, and then not till after they had promised to be withthem before ten o'clock next day, in order to conduct them to a countryhouse, situated in a pleasant village on the other side of the river.

  Pickle was already so much fatigued with their hospitality, that, forthe first time of his life, he suffered a dejection of spirits; andresolved, at any rate, to avoid the threatened persecution of to-morrow.With this view, he ordered his servants to pack up some clothes andlinen in a portmanteau; and in the morning embarked, with his governor,in the treckskuyt, for the Hague, whither he pretended to be called bysome urgent occasion, leaving his fellow-travellers to make his apologyto their friends, and assuring them, that he would not proceed forAmsterdam without their society. He arrived at the Hague in theforenoon, and dined at an ordinary frequented by officers and people offashion; where being informed that the princess would see company in theevening, he dressed himself in a rich suit of the Parisian cut, and wentto court, without any introduction. A person of his appearance could notfail to attract the notice of such a small circle. The prince himself,understanding he was an Englishman and a stranger, went up to himwithout ceremony, and, having welcomed him to the place, conversed withhim for some minutes on the common topics of discourse.

  CHAPTER LXV.