The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

by T. Smollett

  Peregrine, finding himself neglected by Sir Steady Steerwell,expostulates with him in a Letter; in consequence of which he is forbidhis House, loses his Pension, and incurs the charge of Lunacy.

  This prospect of success, together with his expectations from theminister, whom he did not neglect, helped to comfort him under thereverse of fortune which he had undergone, and the uncertainty of thelawsuit, which he still maintained for the recovery of his ten thousandpounds. The lawyers, indeed, continued to drain his pocket of money,while they filled his brain with unsubstantial hope; and he was actuallyobliged to borrow money from his bookseller, on the strength of thetranslation, in order to satisfy the demands of those ravenous harpies,rather than lay the misanthrope under any difficulties, or have recourseto his friend Hatchway, who lived at the garrison, entirely ignorantof his distress. This was not at all alleviated by the arrival of theIndiaman, in which he had ventured seven hundred pounds, as we havealready observed; for he was given to understand, that the borrower wasleft dangerously ill at Bombay when the ship sailed, and that his chancefor retrieving his money was extremely slender.

  So situated, it is not to be supposed that he led a life of tranquility,though he made a shift to struggle with the remonstrances of misfortune.Yet such a gush of affliction would sometimes rush upon his thought, asoverwhelmed all the ideas of his hope, and sunk him to the very bottomof despondence. Every equipage that passed him in the street, everyperson of rank and fortune that occurred to his view, recalled the gayimages of his former life, with such mortifying reflection as stabbedhim to the very soul. He lived, therefore, incessantly exposed to allthe pangs of envy and disquiet. When I say envy, I do not mean thatsordid passion, in consequence of which a man repines at his neighbour'ssuccess, howsoever deserved: but that self-tormenting indignation whichis inspired by the prosperity of folly, ignorance, and vice. Without theintervening gleams of enjoyment, which he felt in the conversation of afew friends, he could not have supported his existence; or, at least,he must have suffered some violent discomposure of the brain. But oneis still finding some circumstance of alleviation, even in the worst ofconjunctures, and Pickle was so ingenious in these researches, that hemaintained a good battle with disappointment, till the revolution of theterm at which he had received his pension of three hundred pounds.

  However, seeing the day elapse without touching his allowance,notwithstanding his significant method of presenting himself at theminister's levee, when the year was expired, he wrote a letter to SirSteady, reminding him of his situation and promise, and giving him tounderstand, that his occasions were such as compelled him to demandhis salary for the ensuing year. In the morning after this letter wasconveyed, the author went to his honour's house, in expectation of beingadmitted by particular order; but was mistaken in his hope, the ministernot being visible. He then made his appearance at the levee, in hopesof being closeted; but, though he took all opportunities of watching SirSteady's eyes, he could not obtain one glance, and had the pleasure ofseeing him retire, without being favoured with the least notice. Thesecircumstances of wilful neglect were not over and above agreeable to ouryoung hero, who, in the agonies of vexation and resentment, wenthome, and composed a most acrimonious remonstrance to his honour; inconsequence of which he was not only deprived of all pretensions to aprivate audience, but expressly denied admittance on a public day, bySir Steady's own order.

  This prohibition, which announced his total ruin, filled him with rage,horror, and despair. He insulted the porter who signified the minister'scommand, threatening to chastise him upon the spot for his presumption,and vented the most virulent imprecations upon his master, to theastonishment of those who chanced to enter during this conference.Having exhausted himself in these vain exclamations, he returned to hislodgings in a most frantic condition, biting his lips so that the bloodran from his mouth, dashing his head and fists against the sides of hischimney, and weeping with the most bitter expressions of woe. Pipes,whose perception had been just sufficient to let him see that there wassome difference between the present and former situation of his master,overhearing his transports, essayed to enter his apartment, with aview of administering consolation; and, finding the door locked on theinside, desired admittance, protesting, that otherwise he would downwith the bulkhead in the turning of a handspike. Peregrine ordered himto retire, on pain of his displeasure, and swore, that if he shouldoffer to break open the door, he would instantly shoot him throughthe head. Tom, without paying the least regard to this injunction, sethimself at work immediately. His master, exasperated at his want ofreverence and respect, which in his present paroxysm appeared with themost provoking aggravation, flew into his closet, and snatching upone of his pistols already loaded, no sooner saw his valet enter theapartment, in consequence of having forced the lock, than he presentedit full at his face, and drew the trigger. Happily the priming flashedin the pan, without communicating with the charge; so that his furiouspurpose did not take effect upon the countenance of honest Pipes, who,disregardful of the attempt, though he knew the contents of the piece,asked, without the least alteration of feature, if it must be foulweather through the whole voyage.

  Peregrine, mad as he was, repented of his mischievous intent againstsuch a faithful adherent, in the very moment of execution; and had itproved fatal, according to the design, in all probability he would haveapplied another to his own head. There are certain considerations thatstrike upon the mind with irresistible force, even in the midst ofits distraction; the momentary recollection of some particular scene,occasioned by the features of the devoted victim, hath often struck thedagger from the assassin's hand. By such an impulse was Pipes protectedfrom any repeated effort of his master's rage; the friendly cause of hispresent disobedience flashed upon the conviction of Peregrine, when hebeheld the rugged front of his valet, in which also stood disclosedhis long and faithful service together with the recommendation of thedeceased commodore. Though his wrath was immediately suppressed, and hisheart torn with remorse for what he had done, his brows remainedstill contracted, and darting a most ferocious regard at the intruder,"Villain!" said he, "how dare you treat me with such disrespect?"

  "Why shouldn't I lend a hand for the preservation of the ship," answeredthe unruffled Pipes, "when there is more sail than ballast aboard, andthe pilot quits the helm in despair? What signifies one or two brokenvoyages, so long as our timbers are strong, and our vessel in good trim?If she loses upon one tack, mayhap she may gain upon t'other; and I'llbe d--d, if one day or other we don't fetch up our leeway. As for thematter of provision, you have started a pretty good stock of money intomy hold, and you are welcome to hoist it up again when you wool."

  Here Tom was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Crabtree, who seeingPeregrine with a pistol in his hand, and such wild disorder in hislooks, his head, hands, and mouth besmeared with blood, and, moreover,smelling the gunpowder which had been burnt, actually believed he hadeither committed, or was bent upon murder, and accordingly retreateddown-stairs with infinite despatch. All his speed could not convey himwithout the reach of Pipes, who, overtaking him in his passage, carriedhim back into his master's apartment, observing by the way, thatthis was no time to sheer off, when his consort stood in need of hisassistance.

  There was something so ruefully severe in the countenance ofCadwallader, thus compelled, that, at any other time, our hero wouldhave laughed at his concern; but at the present there was nothingrisible in his disposition. He had, however, laid aside his pistol, andendeavoured, though in vain, to compose his internal disturbance; forhe could not utter one syllable to the misanthrope, but stood staringat him in silence, with a most delirious aspect. This did not tendto dispel the dismay of his friend, who, after some recollection, "Iwonder," said he, "that you have never killed your man before. Pray howmay you have disposed of the body?" Pickle having recovered thefaculty of speech, ordered his lacquey out of the room, and, in a mostincoherent detail, made Crabtree acquainted with the perfidious conductof the minister.

/>   The confidant was very glad to find his fears disappointed; for he hadreally concluded that some life was lost. Perceiving the youth too muchagitated to be treated by him in his usual style, he owned that SirSteady was a rascal, and encouraged Pickle with the hope of being oneday able to make reprisals upon him; in the mean time offered himmoney for his immediate occasions, exhorted him to exert his ownqualifications in rendering himself independent of such miscreants, andfinally counselled him to represent his wrongs to the nobleman whom hehad formerly obliged, with a view of interesting that peer in his behalfor at least of obtaining a satisfactory explanation from the minister,that he might take no premature measures of revenge.

  These admonitions were so much milder and more agreeable than our heroexpected from the misanthrope, that they had a very favourable effectupon his transports, which gradually subsided, until he became sotractable as to promise that he would conform to his advice; inconsequence of which, he next morning waited upon his lordship, whoreceived him very politely, as usual, and with great patience heard hiscomplaint, which, by the bye, he could not repeat without some hastyebullitions of passionate resentment. This peer, after having gentlydisapproved of the letter of expostulation, which had produced suchunfortunate effects, kindly undertook to recommend his case to theminister, and actually performed his promise that same day, when SirSteady informed him, to his utter astonishment, that the poor younggentleman was disordered in his brain, so that he could not possibly beprovided for in a place of importance, with any regard to the service;and it could not be expected that he (Sir Steady) would support hisextravagance from his own private purse; that he had, indeed at thesolicitation of a nobleman deceased, made him a present of threehundred pounds, in consideration of some loss that he pretended to havesustained in an election; but, since that time, had perceived in himsuch indisputable marks of lunacy, both by his distracted letters andpersonal behaviour, as obliged him to give order that he should not beadmitted into the house. To corroborate this assertion, the ministeractually called in the evidence of his own porter, and one of thegentlemen of his household, who had heard the execrations that escapedour youth, when he first found himself excluded. In short, the noblemanwas convinced that Peregrine was certainly and bona fide mad as a Marchhare; and, by the help of this intimation, began to recollect somesymptoms of distraction which appeared in his last visit; he remembereda certain incoherence in his speech, a violence of gesture and wildnessof look, that now evidently denoted a disturbed understanding; and hedetermined, for his own credit and security, to disentangle himself fromsuch a dangerous acquaintance.

  With this view, he, in imitation of Sir Steady, commanded his gate to beshut against our adventurer; so that, when he went to know the result ofhis lordship's conference with the minister, the door was flung in hisface, and the janitor told him through an iron grate, that he needed notto give himself the trouble of calling again, for his lord desired tobe excused from seeing him. He spoke not a word in answer to thisdeclaration, which he immediately imputed to the ill offices of theminister, against whom he breathed defiance and revenge, in his way tothe lodgings of Cadwallader; who, being made acquainted with the mannerof his reception, begged he would desist from all schemes of vengeance,until he, Crabtree, should be able to unriddle the mystery of the whole,which he did not doubt of unveiling by means of his acquaintance with afamily in which his lordship often spent the evening at whist.

  It was not long before he had the desired opportunity: the noblemanbeing under no injunctions or obligation to keep the affair secret,discovered the young gentleman's misfortune, by way of news, to thefirst company in which he happened to be; and Peregrine's name was notso obscure in the fashionable world, but that his disorder became thegeneral topic of conversation for a day; so that his friend soon partookof the intelligence, and found means to learn the particulars of theminister's information, as above related. Nay, he was in danger ofbecoming a proselyte to Sir Steady's opinion, when he recalled andcompared every circumstance which he knew of Pickle's impatience andimpetuosity. Indeed, nothing more easily gains credit than an imputationof madness fixed upon any person whatsoever: for when the suspicion ofthe world is roused, and its observation once set at work, the wisest,the coolest man upon earth, will, by some particulars in his behaviour,convict himself of the charge: every singularity in his dress and manner(and such are observable in every person), that before passed unheeded,now rises up in judgment against him, with all the exaggeration of theobserver's fancy; and the sagacious examiner perceives distraction inevery glance of the eye, turn of the finger, and motion of the head.When he speaks, there is a strange peculiarity in his argument andexpression; when he holds his tongue, his imagination teems with someextravagant reverie; his sobriety of demeanour is no other than a lucidinterval, and his passion mere delirium.

  If people of the most sedate and insipid life and conversation aresubject to such criticisms, no wonder that they should take place upon ayouth of Peregrine's fiery disposition, which, on some occasions, wouldhave actually justified any remarks of this kind, which his greatestenemies could make. He was accordingly represented as one of thoseenterprising bucks, who, after having spent their fortunes in riot andexcess, are happily bereft of their understanding, and consequentlyinsensible of the want and disgrace which they have entailed uponthemselves, Cadwallader himself was so much affected with the report,that for some time he hesitated in his deliberations upon our hero,before he could prevail upon himself to communicate to him theinformation he had received, or to treat him in other respects as aman of sound intellects. At length, however, he ventured to make Pickleacquainted with the particulars he had learned, imparting them with suchcaution and circumlocution, as he thought necessary to prevent the younggentleman from transgressing all bounds of temper and moderation; but,for once, he was agreeably deceived in his prognostic. Incensed as ourhero was at the conduct of the minister, he could not help laughing atthe ridiculous aspersion, which he told his friend he would soon refutein a manner that should not be very agreeable to his calumniator,observing, that it was a common practice with the state pilot, thus toslander those people to whom he lay under obligations which he had nomind to discharge. "True it is," said Peregrine "he has succeeded morethan once in contrivances of this kind, having actually reduced diverspeople of weak heads to such extremity of despair, as hath issued indownright distraction, whereby he was rid of their importunities, andhis judgment confirmed at the same time. But I have now, thank Heaven,attained to such a pitch of philosophical resolution, as will support meagainst all his machinations; and I will forthwith exhibit themonster to the public, in his true lineaments of craft, perfidy, andingratitude."

  This indeed was the plan with which Mr. Pickle had amused himself duringthe researches of Crabtree; and by this time it so effectually flatteredhis imagination, that he believed he should be able to bring hisadversary, in spite of all his power, to his own terms of submission, bydistinguishing himself in the list of those who, at that period, wroteagainst the administration. Nor was this scheme so extravagant as itmay seem to be, had not he overlooked one material circumstance, whichCadwallader himself did not recollect, when he approved of this project.

  While he thus meditated vengeance, the fame of his disorder, in duecourse of circulation, reached the ears of that lady of quality whosememoirs have already appeared in these adventures. The correspondencewith which she had honoured our hero had been long broke off for thereason already advanced, namely, his dread of being exposed to herinfatuating charms. He had been candid enough to make her acquaintedwith the cause of exiling himself from her presence; and she admittedthe prudence of self-restraint, although she would have very wellsatisfied with the continuance of his intimacy and conversation,which were not at all beneath the desire of any lady in the kingdom.Notwithstanding this interruption, she still retained a friendship andregard for his character, and felt all the affliction of a humane heart,at the news of his misfortunes and deplorable distemper. She had seen
him courted and cultivated in the sunshine of his prosperity; but sheknew, from sad experience, how all those insect-followers shrink away inthe winter of distress. Her compassion represented him as a poor unhappylunatic, destitute of all the necessaries of life, dragging about theruins of human nature, and exhibiting the spectacle of blasted youthto the scorn and abhorrence of his fellow-creatures. Aching with thesecharitable considerations, she found means to learn in what part of thetown he lodged and, laying aside all superfluous ceremony, went in ahackney-chair to his door, which was opened by the ever-faithful Pipes.

  Her ladyship immediately recollected the features of his trustyfollower, whom she could not help loving in her heart for his attachmentand fidelity, which after she had applauded with a most graciouscommendation, she kindly inquired after the state of his master'shealth, and asked if he was in a condition to be seen. Tom, who couldnot suppose that the visit of a fine lady would be unacceptable to ayouth of Peregrine's complexion, made no verbal reply to the question;but beckoning her ladyship with an arch significance of feature, atwhich she could not forbear smiling, walked softly up-stairs; and she,in obedience to the signal, followed her guide into the apartment of ourhero, whom she found at a writing-table, in the very act of composinga eulogium upon his good friend Sir Steady. The nature of his work hadanimated his countenance with an uncommon degree of vivacity; and beingdressed in a neat deshabille, his figure could not have appeared to moreadvantage in the eye of a person who despised the tinsel of unnecessaryornament. She was extremely well pleased to see her expectations soagreeably disappointed; for, instead of the squalid circumstances andwretched looks attending indigence and distraction, everything wasdecent and genteel; and the patient's aspect such as betokened internalsatisfaction. Hearing the rustling of silk in his room, he lifted uphis eyes from the paper, and, seeing her ladyship, was struckwith astonishment and awe, as at the unexpected apparition of somesupernatural being.

  Before he could recollect himself from his confusion, which calledthe blood into his cheeks, she told him that, on the strength of oldacquaintance, she was come to visit him, though it was a long time sincehe had given her good reason to believe he had absolutely forgot thatthere was such a person as she in being. After having made the most warmacknowledgments for this unforeseen honour, he assured her ladyship thatthe subject of her reproach was not his fault, but rather his verygreat misfortune; and that, if it had been in his power to forget her soeasily as she seemed to imagine, he should never have given her cause totax him with want of duty and respect.

  Still dubious of his situation, she began to converse with himon different subjects; and he acquitted himself so well in everyparticular, that she no longer doubted his having been misrepresented bythe malice of his enemies, and candidly told him the cause and intentof her coming. He was not deficient in expressions of gratitude for thisinstance of her generosity and friendship, which even drew tears fromhis eyes. As to the imputation of madness, he explained it so much toher ladyship's satisfaction, that she evidently perceived he had beenbarbarously dealt with, and that the charge was no other than a mostvillainous aspersion. Notwithstanding all his endeavours to concealthe true state of his finances, it was impossible for him to give thisdetail, without disclosing some of the difficulties under which helaboured; and, her ladyship's sagacity divining the rest, she not onlymade him a tender of assistance, but, presenting a bank-note for aconsiderable sum, insisted upon his acceptance of it as a trifling markof her esteem, and a specimen of what she was inclined to do in hisbehalf. But this mark of her benevolence he would by no means receive;assuring her, that, though his affairs were at present a littleperplexed, he had never felt the least circumstance of distress,and begging that she would not subject him to the burden of such anunnecessary obligation.

  Being obliged to put up with this refusal she protested she would neverforgive him should she ever hear that he rejected her offer when hestood in need of her aid; or if, in any time to come, he should notapply to her friendship, if ever he should find himself incommoded inpoint of fortune. "An overdelicacy in this respect," said she, "I shalllook upon as a disapprobation of my own conduct; because I myself havebeen obliged to have recourse to my friends in such emergencies." Thesegenerous remonstrances and marks of particular friendship could notfail to make a deep impression upon the heart of our hero, which stillsmarted from the former impulse of her charms; he not only felt allthose transports which a man of honour and sensibility may be supposedto feel upon such an occasion, but the sentiments of a more tenderpassion awaking in his breast, he could not help expressing himself interms adapted to the emotion of his soul; and, at length, plainly toldher, that, were he disposed to be a beggar, he would ask something ofinfinitely more importance to his peace than the charitable assistanceshe had proffered. Her ladyship had too much penetration to mistake hismeaning; but, as she did not choose to encourage his advances, pretendedto interpret his intimation into a general compliment of gallantry, and,in a jocose manner, desired he would not give her any reason to believehis lucid interval was past. "In faith, my lady," said he, "I perceivethe fit coming on; and I don't see why I may not use the privilege ofmy distemper, so far as to declare myself one of your most passionateadmirers."--"If you do," replied her ladyship, "I shall not be foolenough to believe a madman, unless I were assured that your disorderproceeded from your love; and that this was the case, I suppose you willfind it difficult to prove."--"Nay, madam," cried the youth, "I have inthis drawer what will convince you of my having been mad on that strain;and, since you doubt my pretension, you must give me leave to producemy testimonials." So saying, he opened an escrutoire, and taking out apaper, presented her with the following song, which he had writtenin her praise, immediately after he was made acquainted with theparticulars of her story:

  I. While with fond rapture and amaze, On thy transcendent charms I gaze, My cautious soul essays in vain Her peace and freedom to maintain; yet let that blooming form divine, Where grace and harmony combine; Those eyes, like genial orbs that move, Dispensing gladness, joy, and love; in all their pomp assail my view, Intent my bosom to subdue; My breast, by wary maxims steel'd, Not all those charms shall force to yield.

  II. But, when invok'd to Beauty's aid, I see the enlighten'd soul display'd, That soul so sensibly sedate Amid the storms of froward fate! Thy genius active, strong, and clear, Thy wit sublime, though not severe, The social ardour, void of art, That glows within thy candid heart; My spirits, sense, and strength decay, My resolution dies away, And, every faculty oppress'd, Almighty love invades my breast!

  Her ladyship having perused this production, "Were I inclined tobe suspicious," said she, "I should believe that I had no share inproducing this composition, which seems to have been inspired by a muchmore amiable object. However, I will take your word for your intention,and thank you for the unmerited compliment, though I have met with itin such an accidental manner. Nevertheless, I must be so free as to tellyou, it is now high time for you to contract that unbounded spirit ofgallantry, which you have indulged so long, into a sincere attachmentfor the fair Emilia, who, by all accounts, deserves the whole of yourattention and regard." His nerves thrilled at mention of that name,which he never heard pronounced without agitation. Rather than undergothe consequence of a conversation upon this subject, he chose to dropthe theme of love altogether, and industriously introduced some othertopic of discourse.

  CHAPTER XCVII.