The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

by T. Smollett

  He enjoys an interview with Emilia, and makes himself ample Amends forall the Mortifications of his Life.

  Godfrey, who had taken leave of his sister, on pretence of making ashort excursion with Peregrine, whose health required the enjoyment offresh air, after his long confinement, sent a message to her, thatsame night, announcing his arrival, and giving her notice that he wouldbreakfast with her next morning; when he and our hero, who had dressedhimself for the purpose, taking a hackney-coach, repaired to herlodging, and were introduced into a parlour adjoining to that in whichthe tea-table was set. Here they had not waited many minutes when theyheard the sound of feet coming downstairs; upon which our hero's heartbegan to beat the alarm. He concealed himself behind the screen, by thedirection of his friend, whose ears being saluted with Sophy's voicefrom the next room, he flew into it with great ardour, and enjoyed uponher lips the sweet transports of a meeting so unexpected; for he hadleft her in her father's house at Windsor.

  Amidst these emotions, he had almost forgotten the situation ofPeregrine; when Emilia, assuming her enchanting air: "Is not this," saidshe, "a most provoking scene to a young woman like me, who am doomedto wear the willow, by the strange caprice of my lover? Upon my word,brother, you have done me infinite prejudice, in promoting this jauntwith my obstinate correspondent; who, I suppose, is so ravished withthis transient glimpse of liberty, that he will never be persuadedto incur unnecessary confinement for the future."--"My dear sister,"replied the captain tauntingly, "your own pride set him the example; soyou must e'en stand to the consequence of his imitation."--"'Tis a hardcase, however," answered the fair offender, "that I should suffer allmy life, by one venial trespass. Heigh ho! who would imagine thata sprightly girl, such as I, with ten thousand pounds, should go abegging? I have a good mind to marry the next person that asks me thequestion, in order to be revenged upon this unyielding humourist. Didthe dear fellow discover no inclination to see me, in all the term ofhis releasement? Well, if ever I can catch the fugitive again, he shallsing in his cage for life."

  It is impossible to convey to the reader a just idea of Peregrine'stransports, while he overheard this declaration; which was no soonerpronounced, than, unable to resist the impetuosity of his passion,he sprung from his lurking-place, exclaiming, "Here I surrender!" andrushing into her presence, was so dazzled with her beauty, that hisspeech failed. He was fixed like a statue to the floor; and all hisfaculties were absorbed in admiration. Indeed, she was now in the fullbloom of her charms, and it was nearly impossible to look upon herwithout emotion. What then must have been the ecstasy of our youth,whose passion was whetted with all the incitements which could stimulatethe human heart! The ladies screamed with surprise at his appearance,and Emilia underwent such agitation as flushed every charm withirresistible energy: her cheeks glowed with a most delicate suffusion,and her bosom heaved with such bewitching undulation, that the cambriccould not conceal or contain the snowy hemispheres, that rose like avision of paradise to his view.

  While he was almost fainting with unutterable delight, she seemed tosink under the tumults of tenderness and confusion; when our hero,perceiving her condition, obeyed the impulse of his love, and circledthe charmer in his arms, without suffering the least frown or symptomof displeasure. Not all the pleasures of his life had amounted to theineffable joy of this embrace, in which he continued for some minutestotally entranced. He fastened upon her pouting lips with all theeagerness of rapture; and, while his brain seemed to whirl round withtransport, exclaimed, in a delirium of bliss, "Heaven and earth! this istoo much to bear."

  His imagination was accordingly relieved, and his attention in somemeasure divided, by the interposition of Sophy, who kindly chid him forhis having overlooked his old friends. Thus accosted, he quitted hisdelicious armful, and, saluting Mrs. Gauntlet, asked pardon for hisneglect; observing that such rudeness was excusable, considering thelong and unhappy exile which he had suffered from the jewel of hissoul. Then turning to Emilia, "I am come, madam," said he, "to claimthe performance of your promise, which I can produce under your ownfair hand. You may, therefore, lay aside all superfluous ceremony andshyness, and crown my happiness without further delay; for, upon mysoul! my thoughts are wound up to the last pitch of expectation, andI shall certainly run distracted, if I am doomed to any term ofprobation."

  His mistress having by this time recollected herself, replied, with amost exhilarating smile, "I ought to punish you for your obstinacywith the mortification of a twelvemonth's trial; but it is dangerous totamper with an admirer of your disposition, and therefore, I think, Imust make sure of you while it is in my power."--"You are willingthen to take me for better, for worse, in presence of heaven and thesewitnesses?" cried Peregrine kneeling, and applying her hand to his lips.At this interrogation, her features softened into an amazing expressionof condescending love; and, while she darted a side glance that thrilledto his marrow, and heaved a sigh more soft than Zephyr's balmy wing, heranswer was, "Why--ay--and heaven grant me patience to bear the humoursof such a yoke-fellow."--"And may the same powers," replied the youth,"grant me life and opportunity to manifest the immensity of mylove. Meanwhile, I have eighty thousand pounds, which shall be laidimmediately in your lap."

  So saying, he sealed the contract upon her lips, and explained themystery of his last words, which had begun to operate upon the wonder ofthe two sisters. Sophy was agreeably surprised with the account of hisgood fortune; nor was it, in all probability, unacceptable to thelovely Emilia; though, from this information, she took an opportunityto upbraid her admirer with the inflexibility of his pride, which,she scrupled not to say, would have baffled all the suggestions of hispassion, had it not been gratified by this providential event.

  Matters being thus happily matured, the lover begged that immediaterecourse might be had to the church, and his happiness ascertainedbefore night. But the bride objected with great vehemence to suchprecipitation, being desirous of her mother's presence at the ceremony;and she was seconded in her opinion by her brother's wife. Peregrine,maddening with desire, assaulted her with the most earnest entreaties,representing, that, as her mother's consent was already obtained, therewas surely no necessity for delay, that must infallibly make a dangerousimpression upon his brain and constitution. He fell at her feet inall the agony of impatience; and swore his life and intellects wouldactually be in jeopardy by her refusal; and, when she attempted to arguehim out of his demand, began to rage with such extravagance, that Sophywas frightened into conviction; and Godfrey enforcing the remonstrancesof his friend, the amiable Emilia was teased into compliance.

  After breakfast the bridegroom and his companion set out for the Commonsfor a licence, having first agreed upon the house at which the ceremonyshould be performed, in the lodgings of the bride; and the permissionbeing obtained, they found means to engage a clergyman, who undertook toattend them at their own time and place. Then a ring was purchased forthe occasion; and they went in search of the lieutenant, with whom theydined at a tavern, and not only made him acquainted with the steps theyhad taken, but desired that he would stand godfather to the bride:an employment which Jack accepted with demonstrations of particularsatisfaction; till chancing to look into the street, and seeingCadwallader approach the door, in consequence of a message they had sentto him by Pipes, he declined the office in favour of the senior, who wasaccordingly ordained for that purpose, on the supposition that sucha mark of regard might facilitate his concurrence with a match, whichotherwise he would certainly oppose, as he was a professed enemy towedlock, and, as yet, ignorant of Peregrine's intention.

  After having congratulated Pickle upon his succession, and shook his twofriends by the hand, the misanthrope asked whose mare was dead, that hewas summoned in such a plaguy hurry from his dinner, which he had beenfain to gobble up like a cannibal? Our hero gave him to understand, thatthey had made an appointment to drink tea with two agreeable ladies,and were unwilling that he should lose the opportunity of enjoying anentertainment which he loved so muc
h. Crabtree, shrivelling up his facelike an autumn leaf at this intimation, cursed his complaisance, andswore they should keep their assignation without him; for he and lecheryhad shook bands many years ago.

  The bridegroom, however, likening him unto an old coachman who stilldelights in the smack of the whip, and dropping some flattering hintsof his manhood, even at these years, he was gradually prevailed upon toaccompany them to the place of rendezvous; where, being ushered into adining-room, they had not waited three minutes, when they were joined bythe parson, who had observed the hour with great punctuality.

  This gentleman no sooner entered the room, than Cadwallader, in awhisper to Gauntlet, asked if that was not the cock-b--d; and, beforethe captain could make any reply, "What an unconscionable w-- master therogue is!" said he, "scarce discharged from confinement, and sweetenedwith a little fresh air, when he wenches with a pimp in canonicals inhis pay." The door again opened, and Emilia broke in upon them,with such dignity of mien, and divinity of aspect, as inspired everyspectator with astonishment and admiration. The lieutenant, who had notseen her since her charms were ripened into such perfection, expressedhis wonder and approbation in an exclamation of "Add's zooks! whata glorious galley!" and the misanthrope's visage was instantlymetamorphosed into the face of a mountain goat. He licked his lipsinstinctively, snuffed the air, and squinted with a most horribleobliquity of vision.

  The bride and her sister being seated, and Hatchway having renewedhis acquaintance with the former, who recognized him with particularcivility, Peregrine withdrew into another apartment with his friendCrabtree, to whom he imparted the design of his meeting; which thelatter no sooner understood, than he attempted to retreat, withoutmaking any other reply than that of "Pshaw! rot your matrimony! can'tyou put your neck in the noose, without my being a witness of yourfolly?"

  The young gentleman, in order to vanquish this aversion, stepped to thedoor of the next room, and begged the favour of speaking with Emilia,to whom he introduced the testy old bachelor as one of his particularfriends, who desired to have the honour of giving her away. Thebewitching smile with which she received his salute, and granted hisrequest, at once overcame the disapprobation of the misanthrope, who,with a relaxation in his countenance, which had never been perceivedbefore that instant, thanked her in the most polite terms for suchan agreeable mark of distinction. He accordingly led her to thedining-room, where the ceremony was performed without delay; and afterthe husband had asserted his prerogative on her lips, the whole companysaluted her by the name of Mrs. Pickle.

  I shall leave the sensible reader to judge what passed at this juncturewithin the bosoms of the new-married couple: Peregrine's heart was firedwith inexpressible ardour and impatience; while the transports of thebride were mingled with a dash of diffidence and apprehension. Gauntletsaw it would be too much for both to bear their present tantalizingsituation till night, without some amusement to divert their thoughts;and therefore proposed to pass part of the evening at the publicentertainments in Marylebone gardens, which were at that time frequentedby the best company in town. The scheme was relished by the discreetSophy, who saw the meaning of the proposal, and the bride submittedto the persuasion of her sister; so that, after tea, two coaches werecalled, and Peregrine was forcibly separated from his charmer during theconveyance.

  The new-married couple and their company having made shift to spendthe evening, and supped on a slight collation in one of the boxes,Peregrine's patience was almost quite exhausted, and taking Godfreyaside, he imparted his intention to withdraw in private from the sea-witof his friend Hatchway, who would otherwise retard his bliss withunseasonable impediments, which, at present, he could not possibly bear.Gauntlet, who sympathized with his impatience, undertook to intoxicatethe lieutenant with bumpers to the joy of the bride, and, in themeantime, desired Sophy to retire with his sister, under the auspices ofCadwallader, who promised to squire them home.

  The ladies were accordingly conducted to the coach, and Jack proposedto the captain, that, for the sake of the joke, the bridegroom shouldbe plied with liquor, in such a manner as would effectually disable himfrom enjoying the fruits of his good-fortune for one night at least.Gauntlet seemed to relish the scheme, and they prevailed upon Pickle toaccompany them to a certain tavern, on pretence of drinking a farewellglass to a single life: there the bottle was circulated, till Hatchway'sbrain began to suffer innovation. As he had secured our hero's hat andsword, he felt no apprehension of an elopement, which, however, waseffected; and the youth hastened on the wings of love to the arms of hisenchanting bride. He found Crabtree in a parlour waiting for his return,and disposed to entertain him with a lecture upon temperance; to whichhe paid very little attention, but ringing for Emilia's maid, desired toknow if her mistress was in bed. Being answered in the affirmative, hesent her up-stairs to announce his arrival, undressed himself to a loosegown and slippers, and, wishing the misanthrope good night, after havingdesired to see him next day, followed in person to the deliciousscene, where he found her elegantly dished out, the fairest daughter ofchastity and love.

  When he approached, she was overwhelmed with confusion, and hid herlovely face from his transporting view. Mrs. Gauntlet, seeing his eyeskindled at the occasion, kissed her charming sister, who, throwing hersnowy arms about her neck, would have detained her in the room, hadnot Peregrine gently disengaged her confidante from her embrace,and conducted her trembling to the door; which having bolted andbarricadoed, he profited by his good fortune, and his felicity wasperfect.

  Next day he rose about noon, and found his three friends assembled, whenhe learned that Jack had fallen in his own snare, and been obliged tolie in the same tavern where he fell; a circumstance of which he was somuch ashamed, that Peregrine and his wife escaped many jokes, which hewould have certainly cracked, had he not lain under the imputation ofthis disgrace. In half an hour after he came down, Mrs. Pickle appearedwith Sophy, blushing like Aurora or the goddess of health, and sendingforth emanations of beauty unparalleled. She was complimented upon herchange of situation by all present, and by none more warmly than byold Crabtree, who declared himself so well satisfied with his friend'sfortune, as to be almost reconciled to that institution, against whichhe had declaimed during the best part of his life.

  An express was immediately despatched to Mrs. Gauntlet, with an accountof her daughter's marriage: a town-house was hired, and a handsomeequipage set up, in which the new-married pair appeared at all publicplaces, to the astonishment of our adventurer's fair-weather friends,and the admiration of all the world: for, in point of figure, suchanother couple was not to be found in the whole United Kingdom. Envydespaired, and detraction was struck dumb, when our hero's new accessionof fortune was consigned to the celebration of public fame: Emiliaattracted the notice of all observers, from the pert Templar tothe Sovereign himself, who was pleased to bestow encomiums upon theexcellence of her beauty. Many persons of consequence, who had droppedthe acquaintance of Peregrine in the beginning of his decline, now madeopen efforts to cultivate his friendship anew; but he discouraged allthese advances with the most mortifying disdain; and one day whenthe nobleman, whom he had formerly obliged, came up to him in thedrawing-room, with the salutation of "Your servant, Mr. Pickle," he eyedhim with a look of ineffable contempt, saying, "I suppose your lordshipis mistaken in your man," and turned his head another way in presence ofthe whole court.

  When he had made a circuit round all the places frequented by thebeau-monde, to the utter confusion of those against whom his resentmentwas kindled; paid off his debts, and settled his money matters in town,Hatchway was dismissed to the country, in order to prepare for thereception of his fair Emilia. In a few days after his departure, thewhole company, Cadwallader himself included, set out for his father'shouse, and, in their way, took up Mrs. Gauntlet, the mother, who wassincerely rejoiced to see our hero in the capacity of her son-in-law.From her habitation they proceeded homewards at an easy pace, and,amidst the acclamations of the whole parish, entered their own ho
use,where Emilia was received in the most tender manner by Mr. Clover'swife, who had provided everything for her ease and accommodation; and,next day, surrendered unto her the management of her own householdaffairs.