Fearless

by Marlie May

  Hands on his hips, Cooper glanced around. “What can I do to help?”

  “Would you put my mattress and tent in the dumpster behind the camp store?” I righted one of our camp chairs. “No reason to take them home.”

  He dragged them to the edge of our site before returning to stand in front of me. When his arms enfolded me, and he lowered his chin onto my head, my eyes stung. It was a major struggle not to let myself sob. My insides felt ripped wide open, laid bare to shrivel in the sun. I savored the comfort he offered and the warmth of his touch. The tickle of his breath across my hair.

  How had I ever felt complete without him?

  “Where did you go?” I had my suspicions.

  “Just took care of a little business.” His chest expanded, pressing against my cheek. “This won’t happen again.”

  No reason to dig further. If Cooper said he’d eliminated the problem, I believed him. “Thank you.”

  “Any time.”

  We pulled apart.

  “Since you don’t want to leave the campground,” he said. “Do you want to hike after we finish up here?”

  The perfect distraction. “Sure.”

  “I won’t be long.”

  As I was finishing tidying up, one of the girls from the campsite next to ours ran up to their camper and opened the door. She climbed inside while Brittany and the smaller girl set bags on their picnic table. Brittany waved at me. I was struck by the normalcy of the action so soon after someone had ravaged our campsite. My knees still shook, but I waved back. Reaction could set in later when I was alone.

  Seeing Brittany gave me an idea, though.

  Cooper returned and ducked inside his tent, emerging in shorts and a tee. The soft, light blue fabric stretched across his chest and highlighted his muscular build. Heat filled me, and I half-smiled at the thought that my head could spin so soon after the horrible thing that had recently happened.

  “How about hiking up one of the mountain trails?” I said. “Some are over fifteen miles long. I doubt we’ll go that far but we can take one of the shorter paths to the cliffs. There’s a great view of the ocean up there.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He glanced at his watch. “Do I have time to grab something to eat before we leave?”

  I nodded, and while he heated three hot dogs on the camp stove, I put my clothing inside Eli’s tent and straightened his bedding. I puttered around the campsite while Cooper dressed three rolls with ketchup, mustard, and dill relish. He sat at the picnic table with a hearty sigh. Ravenous wolves couldn’t have eaten the meal faster.

  Amazing. “You are a growing boy.” I slapped a hand over my mouth, my face hot after making the comment.

  “You said it, sweetheart.” Standing, he tossed his crumb-covered paper plate into the fire pit and grabbed an apple from the dish in the center of the table. His even teeth crunched through the red skin, and he spoke around the bite. “Let me grab a few things and we can go.”

  I was filling my water bottle at the faucet when Brittany came out of her camper. “Hey,” I called out, striding over to her.

  Brittany smiled. “How you doing?”

  “Something happened you should know about.” I winced. “When my friend and I were in town this morning, someone trashed our campsite.”

  Brittany gasped, her eyes widening. Leaning around me, she stared toward the gap where my tent had been.

  “I had to throw a bunch of things away,” I said, sad all over again about the loss. “Whoever it was scattered my things around, too.”

  “Did you call the cops?”

  “My friend took care of it.” Maybe I should’ve called the police. If Tom had been involved, it might teach him a well-needed lesson.

  “That’s terrible.” Brittany’s eyes softened. “We were down at the lake all morning. I’m really sorry. Here I’ve asked you to watch our camper tonight, but I’m not returning the favor.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said. “I never thought someone would do anything like this.”

  Brittany clicked her tongue. “I just can’t believe it.”

  “We’re going hiking. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to watch our things for the afternoon?” We’d return before Brittany and her family wanted to leave.

  “Of course, I will,” Brittany said. “I plan to read while the kids nap, anyway. And if I have to leave for even a second, I’ll put Jamal on duty. Nobody will touch your things while we’re around.”

  That would be a nice change.

  “Thank you,” I said. After shouldering my pack, I waited for Cooper to get ready. A sliver of darkness on the horizon to the west hinted at rain either tonight or early tomorrow. Hopefully, it would hold off until the fireworks were over. I was determined to proceed with the evening I’d planned earlier.

  “All set?” Cooper asked. He paused and squinted toward the parking lot.

  I followed his gaze, and my heart leaped with joy. Wasn’t this lovely? Tom was loading bags into the trunk of a black car. “Do you think he’s leaving?” That would make the rest of my camping trip complete. Even the glare Tom shot in our direction before climbing into his car didn’t stop my stress level from dropping multiple notches.

  “Looks like it.” Cooper grunted but satisfaction filled his face, much like a cat lying in the sun on a front porch. Evidently, he had taken care of the problem.

  My mood lightened further as Cooper and I walked toward the back of the campground, our sneakers crunching on dead grass. Outside of strawberry pancakes, fresh air and sunshine had to be the next best cure for unsettled nerves.

  “Have you hiked here before?” he asked.

  “On some of the lower trails a few years ago.” Back in my prior life, when I’d been bold. Complacent. Brave.

  His eyes sparkled when he glanced my way. “Do you have a special map we’re following this time?”

  Kudos to him for making this fun. I could play along, too. “Forgot to buy one on eBay.” I waved to the sign we approached at the base. “I bet we can figure out which trail to take when we get there.”

  We stopped and studied the map.

  “I think we should climb Big Piney.” I traced a dotted green line that led to the top. “It’s three point two miles each way.”

  “What about Little Piney?”

  I frowned, unable to find a trail marked Little Piney.

  Oh. Of course. Snickering, I lifted one eyebrow his way. “Actually, I was about to suggest Middle Piney because I wasn’t sure you could take on a three-mile walk. Since you ran this morning, you might not be up for anything more than a leisurely stroll.” With all the indecision I felt lately, how did I find the nerve to tease him?

  His voice deepened, and his eyes focused on my mouth. “I think I can handle any piney you’re up for.” Leaving me with sparks flickering in my belly, he started up the trail marked with a green slash of paint on a tree. He paused and looked over his shoulder. “Coming?”

  Damn, but he could handle himself in a tease.

  Fanning my face—solely from everything that had happened today and not because of the hot guy striding ahead of me—I caught up to walk with him.

  The level trail gave way to gradual hills. As we progressed, our breathing deepened to accommodate the steeper inclines. Dense evergreen forest surrounded us, a cool, primeval landscape. Other than a few squirrels and chipmunks darting from the path and the occasional bird flying overhead, we might be the only two beings in the world.

  I was itching to dig in and quiz Cooper about our kisses but the mostly single-file hiking didn’t lend itself to meaningful conversation. I’d wait until the trail widened again and we could walk side-by-side. Then I could watch his face when he spoke.

  But that didn’t mean I couldn’t ask him about other parts of his life until then.

  “You joined the military right after graduation, right? What was it like? You got your diploma, and you were gone.” I snapped my fingers. While Eli had shared some of his military experienc
es, I was eager to hear about Cooper’s.

  His calf muscles kept on flexing, carrying him up the trail ahead of me. I had to admit that running gave a man nice glutes. But other than frogs croaking in the distance, silence hung in the air. That might not have been a good conversation starter, after all. Instead, I could ask about—

  “It was scary,” he said.

  Increasing my speed, I leaned around him and squinted up at his stoic face. “What do you mean?” If asked to describe Cooper Talon, I’d immediately say confident, capable, and methodical. Never scared. That was my role in life.

  “We’re talking about leaving Crescent Cove, population two-thousand. I hadn’t even been out of Maine before.”

  The path widened, and I strode faster to keep up.

  “I wasn’t planning on joining the military at first but they were willing to take me on…suddenly. They flew me to Chicago and bussed me to Great Lakes, Illinois.”

  “Boot camp?”

  “Hell, by any other name.” He chuckled but the sound came out harsh. “I was such a green kid. Wild hair. Glasses, remember?”

  He’d looked pretty cute in those glasses. And his hair? I’d wanted to stroke it. Press myself against his lean frame while I ran my fingers through it. “You wear contact lenses now?”

  “I had Lasik. Didn’t want to worry about breaking my glasses.”

  “I’ve heard boot camp can be rough.”

  “Terrifying. The military becomes your home. You lose your identity when you put on that uniform.”

  “Camis?”

  “And blues. But not right away. You have to wait until there are enough newbies around to form a Company. That held me back a couple of days and let me tell you, you want your Company formed as soon as possible.”

  “Why?”

  “The regulars bully you constantly, and you stand out in your civilian clothing. But that’s just the start. Once your Company forms, they house you in barracks and the real fun begins.”

  We walked around a bend in the trail and started up a steep, rock-strewn incline, winding our way around big boulders.

  “Like I’ve seen on TV?” I asked.

  “One big, open room with enough bunks for your entire Company.”

  “Which is…?”

  “About one-hundred and fifty sweaty guys.”

  I could only imagine how much dirty laundry that group would generate. “Wait. You said all in one room?”

  “With a second Company above us. Talk about snoring.”

  And farting if they were like Eli.

  “Then comes the good part, right?” I said. “Stomping through tire rings and climbing walls.” If climbing walls could be considered a good thing.

  “No obstacle courses. Just plain old PT, running, and calisthenics. All on the Grinder.” He must’ve noticed my frown. “Pavement. None of that fluffy grass for us. They want you tough and they make sure it happens fast.” The animation on his face told me that while his training had been hard, it had made a major impact on his life. Maybe there had been some good mixed in with the bad. “They enjoy playing games with your mind.”

  “Why do that to a kid? You were only eighteen.”

  He held a branch back along the side of the trail until I’d passed. “Everyone needs to learn to work together. If you can’t put up with whatever they throw at you both physically and mentally, you could freeze in a combat situation.”

  “Boot camp sounds like prison.”

  “Not much different, I guess. It wasn’t all that bad.” He paused. “But then, I’d already learned how to handle shit like that from a master.” My puzzlement must’ve shown on my face because he halted on the trail. “Eli didn’t tell you? My dad was super strict. What a freaking bastard. He handed out abuse on a regular basis.”

  “He hit you?” I stumbled, and he reached out to grab my arm, keeping me from falling. The idea of his father smacking him made me want to show the bully who’d raised him what it meant to be on the receiving end of a fist. It also made my throat ache so badly I couldn’t swallow.

  He released my arm and strode forward. “You don’t need to hit a kid to make him feel like crap,” he said over his shoulder. The pain of his past stood out starkly on his cratered face.

  We walked in silence, me struggling to absorb what he’d said, Cooper probably trying to forget. I hadn’t known that about his dad. Sure, there had been rumors around town his father drank too much but not this.

  I wanted to go back in time and take the hand of that skinny teenager I’d crushed on. Hold him in my arms if he’d let me. Tell him he wasn’t crap. The Cooper I remembered had been smart, sweet, and a loyal friend to my brother.

  The trail widened again, and I drew up beside him. His face remained impassive, but his eyes had darkened to indigo blue as if the shadows of his past still tainted their beautiful color.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wanted to talk with you about what happened last night, not drag up my ancient history.”

  History had a way of haunting the present. I hoped Cooper could someday find peace with what happened.

  “I want you to be honest with me,” I said. “About anything.”

  “I need to come clean with you about last night.”

  I sighed. “Look, if this is another let-her-down easy thing, I get it.”

  “You do, huh?”

  The intensity of his gaze stilled my heart and dragged the truth from me in soft tones. “Actually, I don’t.”

  “We’ve kissed twice.”

  Two wonderful kisses. Not that I was counting.

  Actually, I was.

  Stalling on the trail, he turned to face me. “You think that didn’t mean anything to me?”

  Whenever we were together, I scrambled to make sense of the heat that raged between us. “Maybe it was a spontaneous gesture on your part. This morning, that is. The other kiss, on the float, must’ve been a spontaneous gesture on my part.” Shit, could I please stop babbling?

  Taking my hand, he pulled me into his arms. “This is spontaneous.” His mouth met mine, driving whatever words I’d been contemplating straight from my head. Whenever he touched me, I could only feel. Take. And give.

  While my tongue darted out to meet his, I slid my hands around his waist, exploring his back. If only I could carve the feel of his skin into my mind. Then I could pull it out later and savor it all over again.

  He lifted his head and gave me a crooked smile. “I guess you could say I’m a spontaneous kind of guy.”

  “I don’t understand.” Leaving the warmth of his embrace made my chest crack wide open, but I needed space. Otherwise, I couldn’t think. “You pulled away from me last night and said it was because of Annie.” Mentioning that cursed name dragged the woman’s ghost out to float in the divide between us.

  “It wasn’t about Annie.”

  “Then why?” Pain leaked into my voice. “I’ll lay it all out here. I like you.” Too much, probably.

  “You do?” The way he said it came across boyish and incredibly cute. As if I’d made his day and all the ones to follow.

  “I can’t be a rebound fling for you.” Steel edged into my words. “Or some girl in a port.” Did Navy guys still do stuff like that?

  He laughed.

  Embarrassment crackled across the top of my head like lightning. I stormed away from him, marching up the trail.

  “Wait.” He caught up and pulled me to a stop. His arms slid around me again and his heart thumped wildly, much like mine still did from our kiss or any other time he came near.

  “I’m crazy about you, Ginny,” he said softly. “You were, like, my secret fantasy when I was in high school. In many ways, you still are.” A quiet vulnerability filled his voice. “I hope it’s okay to tell you that.”

  Rising onto my toes, I stroked his shoulders. I cupped his neck and urged him close. I needed to show him how my heart sang from his words.

  “I really don’t deserve you,” he said after we pulled apart.<
br />
  “It’s not about one deserving another. It’s about being together.”

  He stared deeply into my eyes before his lips thinned and he nodded. Like he’d waged an argument with himself, and my words had tipped the balance.

  We continued up the trail. Dense forest slowly gave way to shorter, scruffier vegetation and then to rocks and cliffs. We held hands as if this fragile bond we’d created would float away if we didn’t stay connected. Emerging from the woods, we arrived at the peak. We sat in the sunshine on a wide slab of granite with the ocean gleaming in the distance.

  My phone vibrated with an incoming text from Eli. Will you be okay tonight? I’m stuck here at work, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Hopefully tomorrow morning.

  Poor Eli. And poor Steve, who’d been injured. They really needed to hire more staff if one person being out could throw their schedule into such a tailspin.

  Cooper’s with me. I texted. No need to get into what happened at the campsite or the lake earlier. I didn’t want him to worry.

  Silence stretched long enough through the airwaves, I wondered if squirrels were jumping on the lines.

  Okay, he finally texted.

  I read acceptance in that one word. While I didn’t need it, I was pleased to have my brother’s approval.

  “What made you decide to move here and buy a place?” Cooper asked while I put my phone away. “I love your photo travel journals. Your blog.”

  His arm slid around my shoulders and I leaned into his side, placing my hand on his sun-warmed thigh. Sharing this slab of rock, no, the world with him, filled me up inside. “You’ve read my blog?”

  “Haven’t missed a post since you started it eight years ago.”

  “Once, all I wanted in life was to find the next perfect photo. To capture a face overcome with grief or joy. But something happened.”

  Memories of that day crowded into my mind, dimming the sunlight. Bringing the stark reality of what happened back as if it flashed before my eyes this moment. I tightened my fingers on his thigh and tried to slow my breathing because I was gulping in air.

  He lifted my hand and linked our fingers together, lending me strength. “Tell me.”