Damned If I Do

by M. J. Schiller

  Chase wrapped up the first song and talked to the crowd. "It's so good to be in my hometown of Lincoln." The crowd went wild. I never understood that, the whole "oh, my gosh, he said the name of the town we're from" excitement. He continued joking around, and I pulled my gaze from him, looking again for Tucker. But after a minute or two, something he said caught my attention, and I turned to look at him again. "So, this is a song my friend, Tucker, wrote for his fiancée, Danielle, who is standing right here in the front row." My jaw dropped as the music began. Tucker wrote me a song?

  "This is called, 'The Words my Heart Couldn't Speak.'"

  Trying to make love out of nothing

  I got nothing in return

  But from out of nowhere

  Love came 'round a turn

  Staring down that iron staircase, your smile

  Melted my cold heart

  And I felt that special magic

  Right from the very start.

  Now I'm driving down the highway

  Chasing after the right words

  To explain the way I feel

  And mix it with some chords

  But baby no words can say

  Just what it is you do to me

  When you kiss away the pain

  And so set my poor soul free

  So lay your head on my chest and hear the way my heart beats for you

  See the way my eyes spark and know all that heat's for you

  Hear the special tone my voice takes when I'm talking to you

  See how light my feet are when they're walking to you

  I don't know how to say I love you

  So I guess I just have to live it

  Take my heart and my hand

  Because to you alone will I give it

  Now the road is at an end

  And I'm bending on one knee

  Chasing down those crazy words

  That will keep you next to me.

  But baby no words can say

  What it is you do to me

  When you kiss away the pain

  And so set my poor soul free

  So lay your head on my chest and hear the way my heart beats for you

  See the way my eyes spark and know all that heat's for you

  Hear the special tone my voice takes when I'm talking to you

  See how light my feet are when they're walking to you

  I don't know how to say I love you

  So I guess I just have to live it

  Take my heart and my hand

  Because to you alone will I give it

  Oh, only to you will I give it,

  So come on let us live it,

  all of the words my heart couldn't speak.

  The music swelled, filling my heart. It was soft and sweet in some parts, full of emotion in others. I couldn't tear my eyes from Chase as he sang, looking right at me, singing Tucker's words. He finished the last note, and several things happened at once. Samantha screamed near my ear, "Catch her. I think she's going to faint." It was true; I felt lightheaded. I don't think I breathed during the entire song for fear the noise of inhaling or exhaling would make me lose a word. The crowd erupted. I searched the footlights and automatically found him. Tucker gazed at me, beaming. He immediately began to make his way toward me and I toward him.

  "Where are you going?" Sam cried, but I didn't take the time to answer her.

  I pushed through the crowd to the right. At first it went agonizingly slowly. "Excuse me. Excuse me!"

  Everyone's eyes were on the stage, not on me, which made it difficult for me to make it clear to them I needed to get past. Then suddenly, it got easier, people became aware and parted so I could pass. I found out later Chase signaled someone, and they were trying to help me get through the crowd. I kept searching for signs of Tucker as I moved, hoping to catch sight of him. Finally, I came to the edge of the stage area where a barricade barred my way. As I stood trying to figure out what my options were, above the noise of the crowd, I heard someone call my name. I turned, and Tucker stood on a ramp behind the barricade. As I rushed forward, he jumped off the ramp and onto the floor. We met with the short fence between us and threw our arms around one another and held each other for several seconds, our hearts thumping, too emotional to speak.

  I pulled away a fraction. "That was... incredible! I can't believe you did that!"

  He shouted in order to be heard above the noise. "I wanted you to know."

  I grabbed his face to kiss him again. We embraced, then he lifted me off my feet. Several drunk guys on my side of the fence decided to lend us a hand and, in so doing, practically launched me over the gate. When I landed on the other side, unhindered by the barrier, I kissed Tucker with all the passion in my heart. I parted from him finally, laughing with glee.

  "I guess I got my rock star after all."

  Tucker

  I walked around the front of the house to eye a couple of bushes needing trimming and came in the front door for a change. It was too early for the kids to be home from school. I cut out of work after taking a particularly lengthy, and boring, deposition. Water ran and dishes clanked in the kitchen, and I knew Danielle must be finishing some of the breakfast dishes. With a smile, I set my copy of The Lincoln Journal Star on the big farm table serving as our dining room centerpiece, along with the mail I snatched from the mailbox. I snuck forward, stepping around the squeaky spot near the swinging door leading into the kitchen, and pushed the door slowly open.

  My wife did, indeed, stand elbow-deep in soap suds, with her hair down, glistening in the sun streaming in from the window above the sink. I stopped in mid-stalk, thinking women far underestimated the power of a simple, white tank and faded, ripped jeans. Her feet were bare, and her toes dug into the sunny yellow throw rug as she worked at a skillet diligently.

  I finished my stealthy entrance and slid my hands around her waist.

  "Mmm," she moaned happily. I moved her hair to one side and began to nibble on her neck. "Ooh. You better stop that. My husband should be home soon," she teased.

  I grabbed her hips, spinning her like a top, getting water all over my dress shirt, but I couldn't have cared less. "Don't worry," I growled, continuing my kisses. "It won't take long. Believe me."

  She giggled. "Mmm. What's gotten into you?"

  I leaned back with a smile. "I don't know. Something about you being barefoot in my kitchen drives me wild. I want to keep you here forever." I kissed her again. "Barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen." Her face paled, and she stumbled backward and stared at me. Afraid I'd said something wrong, I chanced a perplexed, "What?"

  "Yeah." She reached for a kitchen towel and wrung her hands dry with it. "About that..." Her brilliant blue eyes lifted to mine, and a slow smile spread across her face.

  It was my turn to become pale. "You're pregnant?"

  She nodded, barely able to hold in her joy.

  I picked her up and swung her around. "Hot damn!" I hollered. She kissed me, and the phone rang. She made a move to answer it. "Leave it."

  "No. I'm expecting a call from Sam. I wanted to tell her."

  "Oh, good. I can't wait to see how she reacts."

  Dani grabbed the phone, smiling secretly at me as she turned it on speaker phone.

  "Man, would I hate to have to live next door to 4 Non-Blondes."

  "Oh, I know. All that getting up in the morning and stepping outside and screaming at the top of their lungs, like in 'What's Up?' It would get on my nerves."

  "You know it. And I thought my neighbors were annoying."

  Dani laughed, squeezing my hand, her face expectant as she got ready to tell her best friend our good news, but before she could, Sam blurted out, "So... what do you think about the name... Samantha Scofield?"

  Dani's jaw dropped, and my eyes grew wide. "E-excuse me?"

  "Samantha Scofield. It's kinda got a ring to it, doesn't it?"

  "You're not saying...?"

  "Are you free November 12th?"

  "You and Kyle are get
ting married?" Dani squealed, jumping up and down.

  "What can I say," she joked. "He threw a yearly Coach bag into the deal, how could I resist?"

  "Oh, Sam," Dani gushed, beside herself with joy. "That's great. That's so great."

  "You'll be my matron-of-honor, won't you?"

  "Of course."

  I grabbed her hand, unable to contain myself any longer, and whispered, "Tell her."

  My blushing bride winked at me. "But... you may have to get me an extra-large bridesmaid's dress."

  She paused to puzzle this out. "No way! No freakin' way! Oh, my gosh, Dani!" Her voice broke.

  "Sam? Are you crying?"

  "Of course, I'm crying. I'm so happy for you."

  "Me, too," she managed, crying herself. "I'm so happy for you."

  "We've been to Hell and back, baby," Sam said with a sniff.

  "But there couldn't be anyone better to have along for the trip," Dani added sincerely.

  Her friend's voice was soft when she responded, "You got that right, girlfriend."

  The End

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  Want more from M.J. Schiller?

  Here's an excerpt from

  THE DEVIL YOU KNOW

  The Devilish Divas Series

  Book Three

  ~

  Zoe McCord bit her lip, holding her breath and watching the wall as she lay in bed. The shadow of tree branches danced across the paint, created by a streetlight beyond her window. Where was he? She could hardly stand this waiting. It was excruciating. He worked ‘til ten and it was ten-thirty. The Starbucks was only three blocks away. Did he have to walk home? If she only had her phone. But it was sitting on her dad’s dresser. Confiscated.

  The tyranny around here is driving me crazy.

  And all for some smartass comment she made to Dani, her new stepmom. Zoe’d been a smartass all her life. This was the first time it cost her a phone. Okay, not the first time, but....

  She flopped on her side and pulled on a loose thread on the tattered end of the quilt her grandma made her. In the beginning, she’d been happy about the marriage. Ecstatic, really. And she was glad her dad found somebody to spend the rest of his life with. And Dani was pretty awesome. But still...it was weird having some other woman take care of him. She couldn’t say she was jealous, because that would be ridiculous. But she did feel...territorial.

  Wait.

  Her gaze darted to the wall. She thought she caught just a quick sizzle of light. Had she imagined it?

  Her eyes widened. Like a fairy ball it zipped in from out of nowhere, cutting through her sheer curtains, and dancing around like a firefly jacked up on Mountain Dew. She’d never been so glad to see the beacon before. Her heart sprung like a pole vaulter seeking the state record and air rushed into her lungs, expanding them to normal proportions. She suppressed a squeal and threw back the quilt.

  Zack! All luscious six-foot-one, one hundred and seventy-three pounds of him.

  She sighed. Unfortunately, he’d never be hers, so she needed to stop looking at him that way. But, really, who could help it? Blond hair with just a hint of wave in it, Golden Boy, captain of the football team, fabulous body.... And here she was, his neighbor since childhood, forever caught in the friend zone.

  Ehh. It could be worse. She did get to spend time with him.

  She jumped out of bed, grabbed her denim shorts off the floor, and hopped around on one foot, trying to pull them on. She put a hand on the bed to steady herself. She couldn’t be too loud or the Nighttime Nazis/her dad and stepmom, would be on her case.

  Oh. She needed to signal back. She snatched her flashlight off the bedside table and pointed it at the window. She flipped it on and off in the code they set up when they were eight. But the appropriate signal didn’t flash back. Strange.

  She moved to the window, skirting her desk so she could get close enough to peer down to the base of the big tree between their houses. Hmm. No Zack. Then she saw his light bobbing around in the backyard, headed for their “clubhouse.” He usually waited for her. Was this a good sign? Or a bad sign? She would find out shortly. Impatient, she jerked on the window. It always stuck because of a bad paint job. It made a loud creak and she cringed, waiting to be found out. After several seconds passed with no footsteps pounding down the hall, she moved the window up as far as it would go, with only a little more squeaking.

  The breeze wafted in and she inhaled deeply. There it was. The sweet smell of freedom. Grinning, she carefully popped the latches on the sides of the screen and pushed it out of the frame. Tilted at an angle, it was just narrow enough to pull into her room. She put it on the floor, leaning it up against the side of her desk. Rather ungracefully, she climbed onto the rolling office chair in front of the desk, and then stepped up on her math homework.

  This part always scared the crap out of her. She moved into a sitting position and stuck her legs out the window opening, scootching her backside along the desk until she was poised on the window sill. The wind played with her hair.

  Don’t do it. Don’t—

  Shit. She did it. Looked down. She always told herself not to, but did it anyway. The grass and bushes beneath her swayed and blurred in her vision and she put a hand over her stomach which was trying to make a quick escape of its own. Or at least the contents thereof. It wasn’t that far down, really. But it sure felt like a long way when nothing was holding you up but a four-inch-wide window sill.

  Do it for Zack.

  This, too, she always did. It was part of the ritual. Tell herself to not look down, do it anyway. Feel like she was going to hurl, and then motivate herself with the thought of Zack. She reached out to what she called the perfect branch.

  ~

  To purchase

  The Devil You Know

  from your favorite eBook Retailer,

  visit M.J. Schiller's eBook Discovery Author Page

  www.ebookdiscovery.com/MJSchiller

  ~

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  M.J. Schiller is a lunch lady/romance-romantic suspense writer. She enjoys writing novels whose characters include rock stars, desert princes, teachers, futuristic Knights, construction workers, cops, and a wide variety of others. In her mind everybody has a romance. She is the mother of a twenty-two-year-old and three twenty-year-olds. That's right, triplets! So having recently taught four children to drive, she likes to escape from life on occasion by pretending to be a rock star at karaoke. However... you won't be seeing her name on any record labels soon.