by E. M. Moore
The animosity coming through the line isn’t veiled at all. He’s clearly pissed at his father. “You know I’m with you one hundred percent.”
He groans. “God, I just need to see that you’re okay. I’m dying here—” A voice calls for Johnny on the other end of the line, and Johnny snaps. “I said give me a fucking minute.”
A short pause silences the line before the same person says, “Are you finally talking to her? Thank fuck. Your morose ass is unpleasant.” I pin the voice as coming from Jiko Cardinale immediately. It’s an easy deduction knowing they’re in Chicago and Johnny doesn’t let just anyone talk to him that way.
A glass shattering breaks the connection for a second.
“Alright, alright,” Jiko says, cracking up like it’s any other day. The asshole is fucking laughing. “Hey there, Kyla,” he shouts. “I’m glad you didn’t end up in an orange jumpsuit. It wouldn’t suit you.” I roll my eyes, but there’s a yelp and a slammed door on the other side of the line.
Fucking good. I hope Johnny hurt him. “What did you do?”
“Just pulled my knife on him.”
I cock my head to the side, wishing I could’ve seen that one. “I thought Jiko was your friend.”
“He talks too goddamn much.”
Now that makes me smile, which makes the tears threaten again. I haven’t smiled at all in the last six weeks. I’ve been going through the motions, doing what I’ve been told, but losing the guys was like missing pieces of myself. I’m already all the way down this road and then some. “Johnny, we have a lot of talking to do.”
“I know,” he says, agitation still lacing his voice. “These were the worst weeks of my life, Kyla.”
My heart nearly splits in two. They were up there for me, but I’ve had worse. Sadly.
“When I come back, we’ll talk, okay?”
“Yeah,” I tell him, voice raspy. I don’t want him to hate himself for what’s happened. It’s not his fault. He’s blaming the wrong person.
“I have to go.” He sighs reluctantly. “Oscar will get you another phone since RHPD won’t cough your other one up.”
“Okay.”
“Um, Kyla?”
“Hmm?”
“I... I um...” Another silence descends, but eventually he says, “I’ll call you soon.”
“Okay, Johnny. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I hang the phone up and hold it out to Magnum. He crosses the length of the floor to take it from me. After pocketing it, he reaches up, brushing his fingers under my eyes. “Why do you look so sad?”
I swear my heart clenches. Like literally squeezes like it’s going through physical pain. “Johnny really cares for me.”
Mag nods.
Everything I’m doing to this guy compounds. I blink up at Magnum. “I think I’m going to break him.”
Magnum pulls me close, wrapping his strong arms around me. “I’m not so sure about that. Johnny’s stronger than you know. A strength that has nothing to do with the Crew, Kyla.”
I swallow, keeping my emotions at bay. I have to be strong right now. “Care to elaborate?”
He runs his hands through my hair. “I think that’s a conversation you and Johnny need to have.”
I’ll add that to the list of things I need to say to him, including the fact that I care about three other guys. Oh, and I want to off his father. I mean, what could go wrong with that conversation?
A knock sounds on the door, and Magnum steps back. I jump, holding him to me briefly before remembering that I’m in the tower, which is the safest place for me.
“I have a surprise for you,” Mag says, peeling my fingers away from him. He walks toward the door, pulling it open to reveal two figures. Seeing them immediately glues my feet where I stand.
Brawler nudges Oscar out of the way. Amid a spewed line of Oscar-esque profanities, Brawler rushes toward me.
“Stop,” Magnum orders.
Brawler halts, but his jaw ticks, looking torn between obeying and just coming for me anyway.
Mag holds his hand out, wiggling his fingers at both guys. I watch on in surprise as Oscar and Brawler pull out their cell phones and hand them over to Magnum who holds a small device. He runs the handheld piece of technology over both phones and then hands them back.
“You check the place?” Oscar asks.
“We’re clear,” Magnum announces, nodding.
“What the hell is that?” I ask, pointing to the thing Mag is just now putting in his back pocket.
I barely get the words out before I’m squished against Brawler’s hard chest. He rains kisses down on the crown of my head, holding me lightly in his arms as if he doesn’t want to hurt me.
“Back off, Big Man,” Oscar says from behind him.
“Fuck you,” Brawler growls, only holding me tighter.
“Then you’re about to feel my arms...and a very happy dick.”
Brawler groans, moving so Oscar has just enough space to wriggle his arms around me. He tucks my head under his chin, fingers gripping me. I reach my hands under his shirt to pull him toward me, and he hisses when I hit a spot on his side.
I pull away, eyeing him. I immediately get drawn into his handsome face. His black ballcap hides his tuft of black hair, but his dark eyes are laser sharp.
“What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, but Magnum throws him under the bus without a second thought. “Gregory’s guys ran him off the road before they hit us.”
“The fuck?”
Oscar glares Magnum’s way before turning to me. “It’s just a bit of road rash. It’s practically healed already.”
I move forward, snatching his shirt up. I don’t know what it looked like before, but mottled bruising mars his side. His beautiful, chiseled abs side. “Oscar...” Anger scorches through me as I look at what they did to him.
He pushes his shirt back down. “It’s nothing.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Are you kidding me?” he snaps. He roams his gaze all over me until he’s inspected every square inch of my skin. “How are you feeling?”
“Cast’s off,” I say, lifting my arm lamely. “It’s not too bad. I don’t think I should push it, but I might be able to start some light training. My neck still hurts every now and then. I should probably find a PT place closer to the Heights. The guys at the place I’ve been going to are dicks, looking at me like I, you know, murdered someone.”
Brawler growls.
“On it,” Magnum says. He takes out his phone, fingers moving over the screen. He’s probably texting Johnny right this second about what I need, unless he’s taking care of it himself, which I wouldn’t put past him, now that he’s let himself feel what he does for me.
“Princess,” Oscar starts, eyes pleading with mine already. “I would’ve come.”
“I know,” I tell him.
“I was going to,” Brawler laments, sliding a furious glance Magnum’s way.
“I know,” I tell them both. I take one of their hands in each of mine. “You couldn’t have, anyway. Reynolds had eyes on me, and not seeing anyone was part of the stipulation I was given.”
“You didn’t have to follow their fucking rules.”
I squeeze Oscar’s hand and then bring his palm to my lips to place a kiss there. “I didn’t kill anyone. I just wanted to show I was working with them. That I didn’t have anything to hide by returning to the Heights and masking myself behind the Crew.”
“But you put yourself in danger,” Magnum says, speaking up.
I was surprised Johnny didn’t say anything about that. I have no doubt it’s coming. “It was my decision, and I made it. Besides...” I lift an eyebrow in his direction. “You told me I was never alone.”
“That’s where you kept going, wasn’t it?” Oscar asks, crossing his arms. He shakes his head. “I fucking knew it.” Magnum shrugs unapologetically. He opens his mouth to say something, but Oscar cuts him off. “If you say it’s because Princess is your
job, I’m calling bullshit.”
I peer at Magnum. Neither one of us talked about how to approach the subject of him and I with the group. Of course, Oscar Drego is perceptive as shit. He had it called right from the beginning.
Magnum’s not one to back down though. He only holds my gaze for a moment before turning to Oscar and Brawler. I think he’s going to tell them he likes me too and to shut the fuck up about it, but instead, when he opens his mouth, the purest honesty comes out. “I suspected I might like Kyla, but I wasn’t sure. When they stole her out of my car, though, my world tilted.” He balls his hands at his sides. “I knew then the feelings I had for her were more than just friendly. I was going to say something to you guys, but I felt I should say something to Kyla first.”
Three sets of eyes move to me. I squirm under all their gazes. “And what did Princess say to that?”
Fuck me, but I actually missed Oscar pushing my buttons by calling me Princess. I hope he never stops, which means I have to keep pretending it bothers me. “Princess says you should stop fucking calling her that.” A messy ball of emotion crawls up my throat, and I’m not sure I’m fooling anyone.
“Kyla...” Brawler says. I glance up at worried turquoise eyes.
“This is just as awkward for me as it is for you.”
Oscar barks out a laugh. “You sound like you’re about to have the sex talk with us. Christ, we know about contraceptives, we want to know who else is sticking their dick inside you.”
“Classy, Drego,” Magnum mutters. “I haven’t stuck my dick inside her.”
The weight of their gazes makes my skin clammy. It’s not that I’m not going to tell them. I want to tell them, but I just never figured on having a conversation that starts with, “Yeah, so I really want to jump four guys.” Does anyone think they’re going to have a conversation that starts like that? If they do, maybe they should run with that in sex-ed class instead of how to put condoms on bananas.
I’m sick of hiding behind secrets. I match their gazes, looking into each of their eyes. “I like Magnum. I like Oscar. I like Brawler,” I say, smiling at him. Then, I hesitate briefly before I say, “And I like Johnny Rocket.” I stick my chin in the air because it’s that name that I think could ruffle some feathers. Mainly Brawler’s because Oscar and Magnum already know.
Brawler turns away, running his hands through his blond hair. “Johnny Rocket? Are you kidding me? He’s going to get you killed, Kyla!”
“If anything, it’s me getting myself killed, and you know that,” I say, piercing him with a glare. He knows it was my decision to come to the Heights, to get stuck in the Crew. No, I hadn’t planned on Rocket claiming me, but I wouldn’t take it back at this point either.
I’m in deep with him. Not the Crew.
I look at each of the guys in turn. Brawler and Oscar only tolerate one another. Magnum might be Switzerland. At least, he was before, but I’m not so sure now. Johnny is the wild card, but it became clearer to me while I was away that I’m not giving him up. He can choose not to be with me, but I’m sure as hell not pushing him away. This isn’t an either-or scenario. I’m not picking and choosing the guys based on who each of them tolerate. It’s because I like them. It’s because I care for them. It’s kind of like I’m an animal tamer with a whip. I want them to fall in line, but I can’t make them do it either. Ultimately, it’s their choice whether they want this with all of us or not.
“I care about all of you, but I’m not the only one involved in this,” I finally say. Nerves rush through me, and I’m a dorky teenage girl again wanting to ask her crush to the dance. Fear sluices through me that one of them might up and walk away because of this, but I can’t let that emotion hold me back. I won’t let it. It’s better that they know now what they’re getting into. “A relationship like this wouldn’t be conventional, but neither are any of us,” I say. “I’m in it. This is it. It’s us five for me. No one else.” I bite my lip. “Are you guys in?”
5
The silence fucks me up. Each passing moment sounds like a nail in my coffin. I’ve already had my heart set on all of these guys, but I understand the notion is ridiculous. Crazy, even. I mean, who do I think I am taking four extremely fuckable guys off the market at once?
I’m going to get lynched in the court of able-visioned women, ages eighteen to seventy-three.
I don’t expect Oscar to be the first to speak up. “I already suspected you had it bad for Johnny.” He grits his teeth. “I’ve had to live with a fuckton of shit, so I know when a good thing comes along.” He steps toward me, stooping down to claim my mouth in a heated kiss that sends shivers all the way to my toes. “I’m in,” he says over my lips. Pulling away just a fraction, he gives me one of his salacious grins. “I don’t know how Johnny’s going to take it, but I’m looking forward to that playing out. As long as he doesn’t kick my ass again.”
“Yeah, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again,” I agree. But who am I kidding? It could get much worse than that. Johnny isn’t the type to share, which is why I’ve kept my mouth shut this entire time.
I start to turn toward Brawler, but Magnum speaks up next. “I knew what I was getting myself into from the beginning.” His hazel-eyed gaze ricochets through me. Heated promises linger in his depths, and my nipples peak under his scrutiny. I try not to fall down the rabbit hole of wondering how Magnum treats his loved ones. If it’s anything like his personality, he’ll care with an unguarded intensity. I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation so soon, and already, I feel like shit because Brawler and Oscar know something he doesn’t.
“Johnny?” Brawler asks again, his tone definitely giving off a case of What the fuck? The apprehension weighing his shoulder is tough to look at.
I move toward him, taking his hands in mine. “He can be saved, Brawler. I know it.”
“That’s assuming he wants to be.” His cold gaze twists my stomach.
Magnum hits Oscar in the shoulder, and despite Oscar looking like the last thing he wants to do is walk away, they both go into the kitchen to give us a little privacy.
“You’re mad...” I start.
Brawler runs his hands through his hair again. “I don’t know what to think. Maybe I refused to see it. I don’t know. Every time you were with him when I was around, you seemed off. I thought it was because you didn’t want him to touch you.”
I bite down on my lip. It wasn’t that. I just thought he would hate seeing it. “I was scared to say something. I thought you... Well, you hate the Crew so much.”
His jaw snaps shut. “I thought we had that in common.”
“We do. Fuck. You’d hate them too for what they’ve done to him. It’s all he knows, Brawler.”
He searches my gaze, shaking his head. “Oscar was forced to join. I get that, but—”
“Johnny didn’t have a choice either. He was brought up in it. He knows no other way. I’ve seen the good parts of him,” I plead. If Brawler walks away, it will break me. Not that I wouldn’t deserve it. I keep turning the tables on him. I’m fucking everything up. “None of you were a part of my plan,” I tell him. “God, none of you, but pieces inside each of you match up perfectly with me.” Oscar laughs in the kitchen, and I smile, tentative at first before turning back to Brawler. “The Crew’s his family right now, and he’s loyal and caring. Imagine what he would be if we turned into his family, Brawler?”
His hard edges soften. “Is that what you want? A family?”
A breath expels from my chest. Goddamnit. I do. “More than anything. We all deserve it.” Our backgrounds flit through my brain like a photo album. Brawler, whose mother is lost to depression because his brother and sister were murdered. Oscar and his mother who can’t care for him, let alone herself, because of her addictions. Magnum, whose father was killed while he was in the Crew, and whose mother won’t have anything to do with him because of it. We’re all missing that most vital piece that makes us human.
Maybe I’m talking out of my ass, bu
t I think we can have it with each other.
Brawler must follow my line of thought because he laces his fingers with mine. “I trust you. I’m putting one hundred percent of my trust in you. If you think Johnny can be saved…” He shakes his head. “…I’m in.”
“I won’t let you down.”
Brawler scoops me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, holding him to me as tightly as possible. He breathes into my neck. “Who am I kidding?” he murmurs. “These last several weeks, I was already contemplating what I would do without you, Kyla, and it wasn’t pretty. I finally realized why my mom—”
A shiver runs through me. He better not mean what I think he means. I pull away to stare into his dark blue depths.
He shakes his head, lips firmly closed, telling me he doesn’t want to talk about it. I slant my mouth over his. Where words fail me, my touch will make him see. Hopefully, I can ingrain in every fiber of his being that he is worthy of everything he’s never had.
“Is this what we have to look forward to?” Oscar deadpans. “Watching our girl makeout with one of us?”
Brawler deepens the kiss, palming my ass in his big hands until my toes straight up curl. I’m pretty sure he’s grabbing my ass for Oscar’s benefit, but I’m not stopping him. I’ve missed him—all of them.
When he pulls his lips from me, he lets me slide down his torso, his arousal pressing into my stomach like a dirty promise. No matter how much I want to lean into him, there’s more that needs to be discussed right now. I turn to face the rest of them, a little dazed. They’re both staring at me with their brows raised. Confusion slithers through me like I’ve missed something. “Um, what?”
Magnum chuckles from his spot on the couch.
“Focus, Princess.” Oscar snaps his fingers, and despite it being all sorts of wrong, it works in bringing me out of my funk. Only because now I want to slap his smug face. “You got what you wanted, so now what?”