Hear My Heart

by Maryann Jordan

  As his eyes were roaming over her, they made their way back up to her face and he realized she was doing the same to him. Hoping he measured up to her expectations, he waited nervously.

  She blinked, as though embarrassed to be caught gawking, and said, “You look really nice tonight.”

  “Nice?”

  “Yes, nice,” she laughed. “And handsome, but I’m sure you knew that.”

  He stepped forward and placed his hand on her waist while leaning over to kiss her forehead. “With you, I’m never sure about anything, so it’s nice to hear that I meet your approval.” Her shy smile warmed his heart, but before he had a chance to say anything else, he heard a noise from behind him.

  “Susie!” Emily called out her greeting.

  Turning, he spied a young teenager he knew walking into the house. She stooped to greet Emily before calling out her hello to Lia, then, looked up at him and grinned.

  “Hey, Coach McFarlane,” she said.

  He greeted Susie and watched as Lia got Emily settled before she walked back over to him, checking her small purse to make sure she had her phone. He took the black lacy shawl from her arms and draped it around her shoulders. Calling out their goodbyes, he escorted her to his truck.

  He knew that she was nervous, considering this was her first date in years, but what he did not want to admit to her was that it was his first date in many years as well.

  As they chatted on the short drive to the Sunset Restaurant, she commented that she had not been there yet but had heard wonderful things about the food.

  “The restaurant changed hands several years ago and was bought by a New York businessman. We weren’t sure for a long time what he was going to do with it and we were a little afraid he was going to just shut it down. But he’s managed to run it well and it brings in good business to the town.”

  “Is it awkward to be going to a rival establishment?”

  He shook his head. “Not at all. This place has a lovely view of the sunsets over the bay—hence the name—and their menu is different than what we offer at the pub. Our closest competitor would be the Seafood Shack, over by the harbor. But they still close down during the winter months when there are not as many visitors to Baytown. Even during the height of the season, though, there’s plenty of business to go around.”

  After giving his explanation of the restaurant business in Baytown, he asked, “What about the accounting business? When you were in Virginia Beach, was there competition among companies?”

  She cocked her head to the side as she pondered his question, and said, “Not really. Like you, there was enough business to go around.”

  “What about in Baytown?”

  She chuckled. “Well, you know here, I’m the only accountant in town now that Mr. Redding has retired. But I’m finding that I’m too busy, so I’ve hired another accountant to work with me.”

  Parking in front of the restaurant she peaked out the windshield and exclaimed at the beautiful view of the Bay.

  “I made reservations and requested a window booth, so we should have a front row seat of the beautiful sunset tonight.”

  As they walked inside, he guided her with his hand on the small of her back. Such a tiny gesture but, with her, he found it so intimate, loving the feel of her underneath his fingertips. Approaching the hostess counter, his heart stuttered as he observed a long-ago fling. Carlotta…fuck!

  “Aiden! I haven’t seen you in forever!” The woman strutted closer and threw her arms around his neck, offering a loud smacking kiss on his cheek, perilously close to his lips.

  He had to remove his hand from Lia’s back to give a slight push to Carlotta in order to encourage her to move back a step. Keeping his tone even, he said, “We have a reservation.”

  Carlotta’s eyes widened as they jumped between him and Lia and she gave him a knowing wink. “Sure, honey. Just follow me.” She grabbed two menus and began leading them toward the back of the restaurant where the booths facing the bay were.

  Placing his hand on Lia’s back again, guiding her along, he felt the tension now radiating from her. Hoping to move past the awkward entrance into the restaurant, he gave a curt nod to Carlotta as he assisted Lia into the circular booth. Not giving her a chance to sit on the opposite side, he moved in next to her, forcing her to scoot over a little bit to make room for him.

  Carlotta smiled as she rattled off the evening’s specials and winked at him again before she left, making her way back to the hostess counter.

  Swallowing hard, he decided to ignore the past few minutes and plunged ahead. “What would you like to drink?”

  “Just a glass of white wine,” Lia said, keeping her eyes down, already studying the menu.

  As the waiter came by, he gave him their drink order and they listened to the specials again. Once the waiter left their table, he decided to come clean, hoping to alleviate the embarrassing start to their dinner. “I’m sorry about the hostess. She…um…is an old acquaintance.”

  “Yes, she seemed to be,” her eyes moving to his.

  She offered him a tightlipped smile that did not reach her eyes. After the waiter returned with their wine and they placed their orders, he directed her attention to the setting sun, enjoying the way she had to twist her body slightly into his to view it. Hoping to ease her tension, he reached his arm around her shoulder, his fingertips lightly moving over her soft skin, and breathed a little easier as he felt her muscles relax.

  As their meals were served, they began to chat again and he felt as though the earlier tension had left.

  “Tell me about the American Legion and the ball teams,” she said.

  Enthusiastic to have a conversation he was passionate about, he said, “Historically, the American Legion was chartered in the early 1900s as a veteran’s organization. It started as a group for the veterans of the first World War and has grown into one of the most influential nonprofit organizations in the United States.”

  Eyes wide, she continued to eat as she listened with rapt attention. He liked the fascinated look on her face and was proud to have such a wealth of knowledge about the subject.

  “When me and the other boys were in high school, we made a pact to all go into the military. It was our way to escape this tiny town and see the world. We had big dreams that we would go out and conquer.” He held her gaze as he sighed, adding, “But what most of us discovered was that the other side of the world is just that—another place. It wasn’t where our hearts were. So we all came home after our various tours ended…all but one of us.”

  Her fork halted over her plate and she stared into his face. “Oh, Aiden, I’m so sorry.”

  “It was our friend Philip. Philip Bayles. He was actually Katelyn’s fiancé.”

  Lia was stunned into silence, clearly not having realized that Katelyn had suffered such a loss before finding love with Gareth and having their new baby.

  Giving a mental shake, he continued, “But I didn’t mean to make this conversation a downer. It’s just that when we all came back, we realized that we wanted to be able to share our experiences that bound us together. There was an American Legion chapter in the northern part of the Eastern Shore that had almost died out. Mitch took the lead and managed to bring the chapter to Baytown.”

  “I went to the Auxiliary meeting the other day. It was interesting and I’ve done the paperwork to become a member, but there’s still so much I don’t know,” she said.

  “There are lots of activities that the American Legion is involved in, but baseball is actually one of their most successful amateur athletic programs. Our goal is to educate young people about the importance of sportsmanship, citizenship, and fitness. We’re also involved in supporting recovering wounded warriors and their families. And the Auxiliary helps us with all of those endeavors.”

  “Why is baseball so important?” She cocked her head and added, “For you, I mean.”

  He chewed silently for a moment, thinking of his response. Swallowing, he held her gaze
and said, “I guess it all comes down to my memories.” Seeing her rapt attention on him, he continued. “I grew up in this little, no-where town in America. Friends, family. Hell, the Baytown Boys were my life. Once I was in Afghanistan, I realized how much I missed it. The fun. The camaraderie. The sense of belonging. I came back to that, but started to notice how many kids in this area don’t have it.”

  She nodded, her gaze never leaving his.

  “When I was growing up, I never realized how poor this county was. We were big in agriculture, but by the time I was an adult, a lot of that was gone.” Shrugging, he said, “I’m just hoping to give some of these kids a chance to have a little bit of what I had.”

  She reached over and touched his arm with her delicate fingers. “That’s lovely, Aiden. Really lovely.”

  They finished their meals and pushed their plates back, both reveling in the nighttime sky over the bay and the good food and wine.

  His hand settled across her shoulder again, fingertips soothing her skin, and he asked, “Do you think that Emily would enjoy being part of the team?”

  She bit her lip, quiet for a moment, and he could see her thoughts churning behind her eyes. “Part of me wants her to feel normal and to do anything that she wants to do. The other part of me isn’t sure how that would work.”

  “Why don’t you let me—”

  “Aiden!”

  A female voice sounded from the side and he jerked his head around. A statuesque blonde in a skintight cocktail dress leaving little to the imagination stepped over to their booth. He did not know her name but recognized her face as one of the vacation-fucks he had had the previous year. You have got to be kidding me, he thought, once more feeling Lia’s back straighten and her shoulders tense.

  “I was back in town for the weekend and wondered if I’d have a chance to see you again. We had such a memorable time the last time I was here.” Her voice slurred slightly, as though the effects of too many martinis had dulled her speech as well as her good sense.

  Her behavior was rude, considering he was clearly on a date, and paired with his embarrassment over the whole thing pushed him over the edge. Deciding that he was no longer going to play nice, he said firmly, “I’m sorry, but this is not the time for a reunion. As you can see, I’m with someone.”

  The blonde blinked, her eyes narrowing slightly as it appeared to dawn on her that he did not intend to welcome her with open arms. “Well, well. I never thought to see the leopard change his spots, but I guess anything is possible. But, just so you know,” she leaned in a little and mock whispered, the alcohol on her breath hitting him in the face. “If you change your mind, I’ll be here through the weekend, staying at the Baytown Hotel.” Batting her lashes, she turned and sashayed away.

  Closing his eyes at that horrible display, he sat with his arm still around Lia, feeling the negative vibes pouring off her. Letting out a sigh, he turned to her. “Lia, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to—”

  Without looking at him, she scooted to the other side of the booth and stepped out quickly. Not lifting her eyes to his face, she said, “I think I’ll skip dessert. I really need to get home and check on Emily.”

  Dropping some bills on the table, he hastened to follow her out finding, even with his long stride, she was difficult to keep up with as she hurried out of the restaurant. Reaching his truck, he saw her standing facing the passenger door, still not looking into his face even as she heard him approach.

  “Lia, please let me apologize. I never wanted our date to be interrupted like that.”

  Her shoulders slumped and a sigh heaved from her body. Softly, she said, “I’m sure that’s true, Aiden. It happened nonetheless. Please take me home. I really do need to check on Emily.”

  He felt sure that that was just an excuse but could not come up with a plausible reason for her to give him more time. He unlocked her door and assisted her in and as he rounded the truck to get to the driver side, his mind was wracked with frustration.

  The drive back to her house was short and the silence in the cab of the truck was deafening. Walking her to the door, he reached out, placing his hand on her arm and halting her forward movement. “Please Lia, hear me out. I wanted to be with you tonight and no one else. You’re the only person I’ve thought about since I met you. The only person I want to be with. But I can’t change my past. Right now, though, I wish I could.”

  Turning to him, she lifted her eyes to his, the dark chocolate holding his steady. She nodded slowly and with a sad voice said, “I believe you, Aiden. And it isn’t the women though, to be honest, that was really uncomfortable.” He opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head. “I know that I can’t hold your past against you, that wouldn’t be fair, and that’s not what this is. But I think we’re better off as just friends and nothing more.”

  His face fell and the air left his lungs in a rush. “Why do you say that? I want you in my life, Lia, and I thought you felt the same way. I’d like a chance to show you how good we could be.”

  “It’s not just me, I have to think about Emily, too. She doesn’t remember her father and I haven’t dated since Carl’s death. To start something more than friendship with someone who—” she cut herself off and he took a step back.

  “Who what? What were you going to say?”

  She took a deep breath, then said, “Who doesn’t have a good history of commitment. That’s a risk, and after tonight, I’m not willing to risk Emily’s heart along with mine.”

  She turned and placed her hand on the doorknob, then hesitated. Looking over her shoulder, she blinked away the moisture gathering in her eyes, and said, “I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just a big chicken, but I just can’t risk it.”

  He stood for a moment on her front porch, hearing Emily’s excited greeting through the door when she saw her mother. Stunned, he walked to his truck, his heart heavy. Driving back to his small apartment, he was filled with the knowledge that ever since meeting the enigmatic Lia he had been drawn to her, even when he thought she was the complete opposite of what she turned out to be. Since learning who she really was, he had wanted something more than what he had ever wanted before. But, after tonight, he had no idea how to show her he could be the man she deserved.

  Sitting on Emily’s bed, Lia closed the storybook that they had just been reading. Bending over to tuck Emily in, she was surprised when her daughter looked up and asked, “Mama, do you like Mr. Aiden?”

  Blinking at the question, she reached down to tuck the covers tightly around her, thinking of the best answer. “Yes. I think he’s a very nice man.”

  “Susie told me that he’s a good coach and is really fun to be with.”

  “I’m sure he is fun to be with,” she responded, then winced at the slightly sarcastic tone of her voice. Clearing her throat, she added, “I think he’s probably a very good coach and I think the kids enjoy being around him a lot.”

  Emily was quiet for a moment as she shifted over in bed, tucking her hands up under her cheek. Her eyes lifted back up to her and she said, “I think maybe one day I’d like to play ball, too. I wasn’t sure if I could, but I think Mr. Aiden would be able to teach me.”

  Smiling without saying a word, she leaned over and kissed Emily’s cheek, turning out the light as she left her daughter’s room. Moving across the hall to her own room, her thoughts were swirling. When she had entered her house after her date, she had considered what it would be like to live in Baytown and just be friends with Aiden as she had told him they could be, knowing it would hurt to see him with other women. She had wondered if it would be better to avoid him, but that idea seemed foolish. He’s a good man and he might be really good for teaching Emily.

  As she crawled into bed, her mind continued to roll over the events of their date. Being honest with herself, she realized that there was nothing about his behavior that was untoward and he appeared just as uncomfortable with the women who approached as she was. Grimacing at the thought of Carl’s betrayal, she realized h
er own confidence had taken a hit when she and Emily were too much for him to handle. So, do I have it in me to be with a man whose past might always rear its ugly head? And what if we get to be too much for him? Would he bail as well? As she fell asleep, she had no answer to those questions.

  11

  Aiden awoke the next morning no more rested than when he had fallen into bed the night before. Frustration still hummed through his blood, occasionally mixed with irritation and anger. Unable to separate his swirled thoughts, he climbed out of bed and dressed quickly.

  It only took ten minutes to drive to the small house set behind the dunes of the Chesapeake Bay, a crushed oyster shell driveway leading from the road all the way to the old, clapboard building. It was freshly painted, something that he and Brogan had finished the previous summer, and he admired the way it was holding up as he climbed out of his truck. Twisting his head, he watched the gentle surf as the early morning sun glistened on the water. This place was perfect. Taking a deep breath, he walked to the front door and knocked.

  Not a minute later, the door swung open and he greeted the occupant with a wide smile. “Hey Pops.”

  Finn looked up at him, his blue eyes twinkling in the early morning light, and shook his head slowly. “Well, well, boy. You showin’ up here this early means either you didn’t go to bed last night or you got something on your mind that kept you awake all night. Reckon you want to come on in and tell me which one it is.”

  He followed his grandfather into his small house, the familiar scent of pipe smoke settling in the air. Finn did not smoke a pipe often, but occasionally he enjoyed the tobacco. He always said his wife had loved the scent. He had been a widower for over six years and had moved to the small beach cottage after she passed away, saying that to stay in the house he shared with Mamie would have broken his heart.