First and Always: The Forever Duet

by Brooke, Rebecca

  Miles dropped his gaze and for once, so did Kylee. Miles stood and walked over to me, clasping my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, man. I didn’t think of it that way. I know you’ve been pushing us to where we are from the beginning and we’re all forever grateful. I just didn’t want to take that and throw it in your face.” He glanced back at Kylee. “I know there’s risks to dating Kylee, but I can’t help myself. I’m drawn to her in a way I’ve never been drawn to anyone else in my life.”

  Kylee’s head snapped up. “You are?”

  Miles turned around. “Did you think I was only here for the sex?”

  First the first time in my life, Kylee’s cheeks flamed the same color as the edges of her hair. “I really didn’t know what to think.”

  Miles walked over to stand in front of Kylee. He reached out, taking her hands, and pulled her to her feet. “If you guys don’t mind, I think Kylee and I have a few things to talk about.”

  Christine stood and came over to wrap her hands around my waist. “I think you do.”

  As they walked to the door, Miles stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Talk about this later?”

  “Yeah, but don’t worry, we’re good.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Kylee smiled and nodded as Miles led her off our bus, shutting the door behind him.

  I blew out a breath. “What the hell just happened?”

  Christine stared up at me. “I think your friend just fell in love.”

  I cupped her jaw and ran my thumb across her cheek. “Ironic since it seems all my friends are falling in love lately.”

  “Is that a good or bad thing?”

  “A good thing. A very good thing.”

  “Mmmm…I think so too. Now, what do want to do today? We have the whole day to ourselves, right? No traveling?”

  “Nope. We arrived last night and our first show isn’t for two nights, so we can do whatever we want.” I moved my other hand down to cup her ass and pulled her closer to me.

  She pressed her hands against my chest. “We can do that later. It isn’t often that we aren’t on the road when you’re off. Let’s find something fun to do.”

  I bent my head, taking her lips and stealing her breath. “You know I can’t say no to you.” I moved back a bit to get my body back under control. “Just us or do you want me to see what everyone else is doing?”

  “Let’s see what everyone else is doing. It’s been forever since we all got to hang out. Although, I don’t think we’re going to see Kylee and Miles again until tomorrow.”

  “Not likely. I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” I picked up my phone to shoot a quick text to Jackson.

  “Hey, you know I keep my promises.”

  I finished tapping out the message and looked back up at her. “So you think I’m all stuffy too then.”

  She put her fingers on my chest and ran it down to my stomach. “I know firsthand that you’re not stuffy. They didn’t tell me why they didn’t want you to know. I don’t think they would have told me had I not seen them together by accident.”

  My brows drew together. “By accident?”

  “I was taking Zeus out for a walk one night after you guys had come back to the buses before we left. I caught Kylee sneaking over to Miles’s bus. Zeus started barking and they knew they’d been caught.”

  A deep rumbling laugh left my throat. “Serves them right.” I glanced over at Zeus where he lay curled up on the sofa. “Good job outing Miles, little man.”

  He lifted his head for a brief second before setting it back down on the couch.

  “Such a spoiled brat.” I laughed.

  Christine passed me to sit on the couch next to Zeus, petting his head. “Don’t listen to him. You’re my little baby.”

  I rolled my eyes and was about to make fun of her for favoring the dog over me when my phone buzzed. I picked it up and read Jackson’s text.

  “They’re heading to lunch, then they’re going to decide where to go from there. Wanna go? That’s if you can leave Zeus alone that long.” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

  But Christine jumped right in, a smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. “Don’t be jealous that I like him better.”

  I raised my hand to my chest. “I’m wounded.”

  Christine got up, standing directly in front of me and winked. “You should be.” She leaned up and pressed a brief kiss to my lips. “Now let’s get changed to head out. It’ll be nice to not be so cooped up for once.”

  Thirty minutes later we found ourselves piled in cars with Dylan and the rest of Jaded Ivory. Miles and Kylee were noticeably absent. Hopefully, they worked out whatever started on my bus today.

  I caught Christine’s gaze as she stared up at me. Until then, I planned on enjoying the day out with my wife and friends.

  22

  My ass was dragging the minute I stepped out of the car. A weekend break from the tour was everything I needed. The green-eyed monster had reared its ugly head when Christine flew home two weeks earlier. God, did I want to go, but I bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut.

  I knew what this life entailed when I signed up. Still didn’t make it any less tiring.

  A weekend off.

  One whole weekend to have space, not sleep while we were driving, and two nights of lying on the couch watching TV at night. Christine would be flying back to the next tour stop with me and she planned on staying the rest of the time.

  I knew her clients were important and this meeting had been set up long before we knew we’d be back out on the road that quickly after Jackson gave the okay.

  The bag in my hand seemed to weigh a hundred pounds as I carried it up the front porch stairs. I pushed on the door handle, hoping I didn’t have to fish out my keys. As soon as our set finished last night, I caught the red-eye home. I didn’t feel like waiting for a private jet, especially when we were the headliner for the night.

  If only the nights had been switched and Jaded Ivory had to go second. But I’d managed to get a few hours of sleep on the flight. Not enough, though, as the darkness of the night closed in on me. Another problem with having a weekend off when you were on the East Coast but lived in California, it was only four in the morning and all I wanted to do was slip in bed behind Christine and sleep until at least noon.

  The door was locked and I pulled out my keys. The scratching of Zeus’s nails could be heard on the hardwood as he raced for the door. I unlocked it and pushed it open, inhaling the fresh scent of home.

  Before he went completely batshit and woke Christine up, I set my bag down and bent down to greet him.

  “Hey, boy.” I scratched beneath his chin. His favorite spot. “You been taking good care of our girl for the last two weeks?”

  He pushed his head farther into my hand. Bed called my name, so I scooped Zeus up and carried him up the stairs to our room. The door was opened a crack where he’d opened the door to run downstairs and see who was here.

  I sat on the floor and started dumping my clothes. It was nice to not only be home, but to be back in a place where the windows were open instead of needing the heat on to stay warm.

  Christine lay curled on her side in the middle of the bed. I slid beneath the covers, moving to press my body up against hers. The way she subconsciously nestled her back into my front the moment she sensed me there made my heart soar.

  I let my eyes fall closed and lost the battle with sleep in no time.

  * * *

  A featherlight touch traced across my brow, pulling me out of dreams of music and sports. With an effort, I blinked my eyes open. The room came into focus slowly, Christine’s image appearing before me from where she sat on the side of the bed looking down at me.

  “Morning, sleepyhead. Or should I say afternoon?”

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Morning…wait, afternoon?”

  I looked at Christine again, completely dressed, hair and makeup done. I knew how much she liked to sit around in the morning, d
rinking tea and relaxing before she started her day. She’d been up for a few hours at least.

  “What time is it?” My voice was still raspy with sleep.

  “After two.”

  I lunged up into a sitting position. “Holy shit. I didn’t mean to sleep that late.”

  “I can only imagine how tired you are. Sleeping on the tour bus isn’t the same as sleeping here.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled into her neck. “Not to mention it’s nice to snuggle up to a warm body.”

  She pulled back and narrowed her eyes at me in mock censure. “There better only one warm body in your bed at any time.”

  I tugged her back in. “There is only one and will only be one woman keeping me warm at night.”

  “Mmm…I think I like the sound of that. But I’ll keep you warm later.” She pushed off the bed and walked to the door. “I have lunch downstairs. I thought you might be hungry and I knew you wouldn’t want to sleep all day.”

  I threw my legs over the side of the bed. “Real food sounds amazing right now.”

  She laughed. “Since when did they start feeding you fake food on the tour?”

  I swiped the shirt off the floor, winding it around itself. Christine went screeching from the room when she knew her ass was my target. “Don’t worry. I’m going to get you, smart-ass.”

  She raced down the stairs and darted behind the couch, putting it between the two off us.

  She laughed through panting breaths. “What are you gonna do now?”

  I held both ends of the shirt in my hands and debated which move to make. A trip to the right or left would just have us switching positions. I debated on whether I could take the couch in a running leap.

  “Don’t do it,” she warned, still laughing.

  “Do what?” I asked, using my best innocent voice.

  “You’re thinking about leaping over the couch and I can guarantee you’re going to land flat on your face.”

  “Well, now I just have something to prove.”

  I took a few steps back. Christine’s eyes darted in every direction, trying to figure out where to go, if I made it over. While she was distracted, I darted to the left, catching her off guard before she could make a move.

  She squealed as I snapped the shirt forward, making contact with her ass. I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around her waist, tugging her down onto the couch with me. Laughter filled the room.

  It took us a while to catch our breath. That was the best thing about having Christine in my life…the fun we had together. There was never a dull moment. Never a moment where I wondered what we would talk about or would she get pissed at me for chasing her through the house. Not in a million years. She laughed and played along with me.

  When we could finally breathe again, I ran my fingers along her cheek. “I missed you these past two weeks.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, relishing just another feeling of home.

  She leaned back and smiled. “I want to try for another baby.”

  My whole body stiffened.

  “Aiden?”

  Her voice floated through my mind, but so did the memories of the last time she’d been pregnant and ended up having a miscarriage. Our relationship had grown and strengthened as we worked to pull Christine out of the well of depression she’d landed in. I just wasn’t sure I was ready to face that possibility again.

  “Aiden,” she said again, except this time I forced myself out of the headspace I was in.

  Pushing back, I rolled off the couch, moving to sit at the end, my head in my hands as I tried to make sense of why she’d want to put us through something like that again so soon after the last time.

  She moved, sitting next to me and wrapping one of her arms through mine.

  “You don’t think it’s a good idea.” Disappointment laced her voice.

  I shook my head. “It’s not that.” I slipped my hand, linking our fingers. I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “It’s just that…we barely survived it the last time.”

  Her fingers tightened around mine. “But we did.”

  She was forgetting the night terrors and late nights of sobbing. The way she existed as a zombie, barely sleeping, eating, not really doing much of anything except binge watching TV. There were a few months of that.

  Months.

  Times when I thought I lost the woman I loved to the inside of her mind. I didn’t think we could survive another time.

  “And you think we could survive it again?”

  My throat burned at the thought of how Christine had shut herself off from the rest of the world. Shut herself off from me.

  “Who says there will be a next time? You heard the doctor, it was probably something incompatible in the baby’s genes. She even said it was extremely unlikely to happen again.”

  I sighed. “I don’t know, Christine. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Hell, there were days I wondered if we’d ever make it to where we are now.”

  “And yet, here we are.”

  I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Here we are. I just don’t know if I can risk losing my best friend again. I need you.”

  “You’re not going to lose me. I shut down because I thought I did something wrong. That it was my fault. It took me a while to realize that no matter what I’d done differently, the outcome would be the same.”

  “And what would make this time different?”

  “Well, first, I’m going to hope and pray that we never have to find out about a next time. But if we do, I’ll know there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

  The pleading was there in her tone. Even if she was trying to convince me with logic, the higher tone of her voice gave away how nervous she was bringing up this conversation. She obviously wanted this badly enough that she’d risk being shot down.

  If it was worth it to her, I could man up and make it worth it to me.

  I closed my eyes and let the words slip past my lips. I knew if she looked me in the eye, she’d see all my fears laid bare. She’d know I wasn’t sure about any of this. But Christine also knew I hated telling her no. I’d give her anything she wanted on a silver platter.

  “How about this?”

  “Yes?”

  I chuckled at her enthusiasm. I couldn’t even get the rest of the sentence about before her excitement took over.

  “We stop using birth control and let the chips fall where they may like last time. No planning, no tracking optimum days. We’ll let nature take its course.”

  She moved and slid one leg over my lap, forcing me to sit back and wrap my arms around her waist. “I think that’s the perfect plan, especially since I stopped taking the birth control when I got home and finished the pack two weeks ago.”

  Her excitement was infectious. “I love you, Mrs. Cormack.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She lowered her lips to mine, sliding her tongue across my lips, begging for entry, and I was all too happy to let her in. Vanilla and cherry burst across my senses as I slipped my hand into the back of her hair, holding her mouth to mine.

  She slid back and forth across my lap and suddenly starting now sounded like a great idea.

  I placed my hands under her ass and stood, moving toward the stairs. Lunch could wait. At the moment, all I wanted was to crawl back in bed with my wife, having her for lunch instead.

  23

  The drive home seemed obnoxiously long. More traffic than normal. It had been a long day in the recording studio. With the rescheduled tour dates putting our recording schedule behind, LiteStar wanted us back in the studio as soon as we got home. We’d already pitched about fifteen songs to Punk Beat who produced our other two albums, but they were bought out by LiteStar before the final decision was made.

  Last week, we’d played the same fifteen songs for the producers at LiteStar and had just been waiting on a decision about which ones they wanted to use. Things had been going great until
they chose “Caressing Gold” as the first single from the album.

  Don’t get me wrong, we all loved the song, but “Lines Drawn” was a better song for that. When the producers and us couldn’t come to an agreement, they brought in one of their attorneys, Reagan Setton, to mediate between us.

  We didn’t have an agent, which frustrated them, I think. With a degree in finance and business we all agreed it wasn’t necessary. I knew enough about contracts to represent us. Putting it bluntly, we didn’t trust anyone else with the livelihood of our band.

  It seemed they were determined to get their name on new material. But in the end, I couldn’t really complain. They’d treated us better than Punk Beat had ever had.

  I pulled into the garage and was surprised to see Christine’s car in her space. She should’ve been at work for at least another hour or two. What is she doing home? I climbed out of the car and shut the garage door behind me.

  Hopefully, she hadn’t come home sick from work. She’d been so tired lately, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’d pick something up and her body finally gave in. Well, with a few days off, I could take care of her while she rested in bed.

  I hiked my book bag higher up on my shoulder and started up the stairs to the laundry room. The house was quiet when I walked inside. I expected noise from the TV. When Christine wasn’t feeling well her favorite place to be was on the couch with a blanket in front of the TV.

  Dropping my keys in the bowl next to the door, I kicked off my shoes and went in search of my missing wife.

  She was nowhere to be found on the first floor of the house. Not even outside by the pool. With only one other option, I climbed the stairs to the second floor. When I passed over the threshold to our bedroom I found the room empty.

  Where could she be?

  I wandered into the bathroom. Maybe she’d decided to take a bath and relax her muscles. The moment I pushed the door open I stopped. Christine sat against the far wall with her knees drawn up to her chest.