Jane of Air

by Jessica Penot

  I helped Edward back to the stable and we left the horse in a small enclosed area. It was clear he lacked the strength to put her in a stall. I thought they were called stalls. I didn’t really know what you did with a horse, but he seemed upset that he was just leaving her outside.

  “She’ll be safe enough here tonight,” Edward said as he undid her saddle. He grimaced in pain and I helped him lift it off and lay it on the ground of the shed. “I’ll have to send James out for her first thing in the morning.” He gave me another intense look that could only be described as a ferocious frown. He started making his way out of the shed and almost toppled to the ground. “What’re you doing out at this time of night anyway?” he growled. “Making a guy fall off his horse? Shouldn’t you be in with my grandmother?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said as I helped him back onto the driveway that led to the house. “Mrs. Fairfax said I could have the evening off to go to a party if I was back by midnight. She’s in with Miss Adele now.”

  “That’s no excuse for you wandering around at night. Don’t you have any sense?”

  “I like to walk,” I said.

  “In the middle of the night by yourself? In the woods? It’s not safe.”

  “I enjoy the fresh air.”

  We finally made it to the house and I helped Edward to the study. I ran up the stairs and through the house to the sitting room across from Miss Adele’s room. Mrs. Fairfax sat in the room sipping a glass of wine and watching an old game show I didn’t recognize. She smiled but her smile faded when she saw the state of me.

  “My goodness! What happened to you? Are you all right?”

  “Edward’s back!” I exclaimed. “I almost killed him and now he has a broken leg.”

  “Oh dear,” Mrs. Fairfax said. “I’ll call the doctor. He’ll come out for Edward. He’s an old family friend. You should go keep Edward company. He gets in quite a state sometimes and you can help calm him down.”

  “I don’t think he’ll want to talk to me.”

  Mrs. Fairfax took her cell phone out of her pocket. “Why not?’

  I shrugged. “He doesn’t like me.”

  “Never mind that. He doesn’t like anyone. He’s usually in a bad mood. He comes and goes as he pleases and works everyone up into a frenzy when he’s here. Ignore his manners. He’s never had any.”

  I stood in the doorway for a moment just staring at Mrs. Fairfax. I wanted to go see Edward even less than ever. I felt awful for causing his accident. I really wanted to keep my job and I was scared that if I went downstairs he would fire me. I hoped that if I stood in the doorway long enough, maybe Mrs. Fairfax would tell me to sit down and that she’d go talk to Edward. My plan didn’t work.

  “Run along. I’ve got a thousand calls to make. Edward expects a full staff and I have to make sure they are all here by 5 a.m. Go, go, before he gets even madder and then there’ll be hell to pay,” Mrs. Fairfax commanded.

  Mrs. Fairfax looked anxious. I had never seen her look anything but pleasant. The fact that she looked so nervous made me feel even worse. I walked as slowly as I could. I dragged my feet all the way back to the study, but I couldn’t put it off forever. I would eventually have to face the young man I had managed to disable in the first five minutes of meeting. I would have to face my boss. I peeked around the corner and tried to avoid being seen. I could see Edward in the lamplight, lying on a leather couch and reading a book. For a moment, I was taken aback. I couldn’t see him very well when we’d been outside, and I avoided looking at him when we’d come into the house. He was strikingly handsome. I knew he was at Yale, so he couldn’t have been older than about twenty or twenty-one, but he seemed so much more mature. He had a strong jaw and high cheekbones. His hair was thick and black, and his eyes looked light-colored, but I couldn’t quite tell from where I was standing. He was slightly disheveled, and his clothes, although dirt-stained, were fancy: riding pants and jacket and shiny black boots.

  “Are you going to stand in the doorway all night or are you going to come in?” he asked, his eyes still on the pages of his book. My cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment at being caught staring.

  “I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered. “Mrs. Fairfax has called for the doctor.”

  “You should be,” he said. “You made me fall off my horse and ruined a good night. Are you sure you aren’t a ghost here to haunt me?”

  I shook my head.

  “Sit down. You make me nervous standing over me like that.”

  I sat immediately. I collapsed into a chair across from him. Edward looked up and pinned me with his gaze. His eyes were blue like Helen’s, but where hers were a solid blue, his had flecks of green. They were startling to look at. I had never seen such eyes before. He stared at me the way someone would stare at a painting or sculpture. He scowled and I blushed in response to his scrutiny. People rarely looked at me. Except when they were trying to figure out my heritage. I suppose I probably looked awful. My only decent dress was torn and covered in muck. My face felt stiff from dirt caked on it and my hair was tangled with weeds.

  I liked being ignored. It was what I was used to. Having him stare at me made me wish I could disappear. Fade away into the wallpaper. But at least he didn’t stare like James did. Aside from dinner, I tried to avoid James at every turn. I only hung out by the pool when I knew he was working on the other side of the property. When I was around James, he would leer at me like he could see me naked. I had no idea why he was so interested in me. I guess it was because I was the only young, single girl in the house most days.

  Edward’s stare wasn’t leering. It was analytical, like he was trying to figure me out.

  “What depressing story brings you to Thornfield?” he asked after a while.

  “What?” I asked in confusion. “I don’t have a sad story.” Well, I actually did have a sad story, but I didn’t like to talk about myself either, and I certainly wasn’t going to spill my guts to a virtual stranger, even if he was my boss.

  “All the other girls had sad stories. They were all desperate for money. They were desperate enough to work here. They were miserable.”

  “I’m not desperate. I like Thornfield and I like Miss Adele. It’s beautiful here.”

  “I’ve never heard that before.”

  “Why? Thornfield is breathtaking. I could spend a lifetime in the library alone.”

  Edward’s scowl faded and he actually smiled. He had a beautiful smile. It was wide and warm, and it made me feel like I was floating. I smiled back at him. I couldn’t help myself. At that moment, I completely understood what all sixteen-year-old girls feel when they meet a cute guy with a great smile and gorgeous blue eyes.

  “No one ever notices how beautiful it is here anymore,” Edward said. “They only believe those stupid stories. I always thought it was beautiful, too.”

  “I don’t know why anyone would waste their time with ghost stories and urban legends. It’s their loss.”

  Edward’s smile faded a bit and he stared at me again. “You’re different from all the other girls,” he said more to himself than to me.

  “Does your leg hurt much?” I asked, trying to keep up the polite conversation, even though I could feel my stomach doing flip-flops. How was I different from all the other girls? Were they nicer? Smarter? Prettier? I suddenly wished I looked like Helen and not like myself. Everything about Helen was vibrant. Everything about me was not.

  “Not much,” he answered. “So, if you don’t have a sad story that brought you here, where are you from? Why are you working here?

  “I have a scholarship to Huntington, but it doesn’t cover room and board. I had saved up the money I needed, but my foster mother was going to lose her house, so I gave all the money I had to her so she could keep it. My friend found this job for me and since it includes room and board, it will help me save for med school. It’s perfect.”

&nbs
p; What just happened? I opened my mouth and my entire life story poured out and I couldn’t stop. Somewhere in between his eyes and my flip flopping stomach I told this stranger more about myself than I had told anyone except Helen.

  “Your foster mother? Where’s your real mother and father? Couldn’t they have helped you?”

  “I don’t know where they are. I never knew them.”

  “And you say you don’t have a sad story?”

  “There are a lot of people with much sadder stories.”

  “Yeah, but your story is still sad.”

  Mrs. Fairfax came in with a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. “The doctor will be here any minute now,” she said as she gave Edward the glass of water and the pills. She turned and looked at me. “It’s late, run along to bed.” And in a whisper added, “Don’t tell Miss Adele about this mishap, we don’t want to worry her.”

  I nodded like a bobble-head doll and sprinted out of the room. I had never been more relieved to escape a conversation in my life. I felt like I was a medical specimen and Edward was dissecting me. I wasn’t comfortable talking about myself. Helen was the only person in my life who knew anything in depth about me.

  I reached my bedroom, out of breath and my heart was pounding. I put my hand on my face. I was flushed. I wanted to cry and I couldn’t explain why. It was just a conversation. People had conversations every day. People talked about their lives. It was normal. But I wasn’t normal. My parents had been drug addicts and freaks. That’s what Mrs. Reed had told me over and over again. I had been shipped from foster home to foster home until Mrs. Blankenship’s, and while she had never lifted a hand in anger toward me, she hadn’t really talked to me, either. Never asked me how I was doing in school or how my day went. I had lived in the same house with her for six years of my life, but we were virtual strangers.

  I looked in the bathroom mirror. My eye makeup had smeared. I looked like a train wreck. I washed my face and took off my soiled dress. I took a shower and scrubbed myself until I felt normal again. I put my yoga pants on and pulled a gray t-shirt over my head. I climbed into bed and tried to erase the conversation from my thoughts. But Edward’s eyes… I couldn’t get them out of my head. I couldn’t get his smile out of my head or the way he looked at me when I talked. I pulled the covers over me, embarrassed by my reaction to him. Eventually, I was able to calm down and fall asleep.

  My sleep was fitful. I dreamt of a dark place with old trees. It was quiet and filled with little creatures I could not quite identify. I walked along a winding path for what seemed like hours. Finally, I came upon an old house with a red door. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw him. The only man I had ever dreamed of. He was tall and handsome, with black hair and dark skin. His skin looked like wood; mahogany, perhaps. He looked like he was part of a tree, as if he was something born of the woods. He was beautiful. He smiled at me. A charming, Hollywood A-list actor kind of smile. He had ram’s horns growing out of his head. And I knew he was evil. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

  Chapter 9

  No new horror can be more terrible than the daily torture of the commonplace.

  ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  “DON’T BE AFRAID,” HE SAID.

  I tried to run, but I couldn’t move. I looked down and saw why. Roots had grown out of my arms and legs, anchoring me to the dark soil. I looked back up at the devil man.

  “Soon.” He smiled again. “I will see you soon. Don’t be afraid. It will be beautiful.”

  I woke up clawing at my legs. I couldn’t move. I looked down and saw the blankets had twisted around me. I sighed in relief. Just a bad dream. A stupid bad dream.

  Then I heard it. The laughing. For a second I thought I was still dreaming, but then I realized it was coming from somewhere in the house. I opened my bedroom door half expecting to see Miss Adele wandering the halls again, but the hallway was empty. I looked in on her and was relieved that she was sound asleep. Closing her door quietly behind me, I followed the sound of the laughter down the long hall into a part of the mansion I hadn’t yet explored. I followed it to a door that was ajar. I peeked behind the door with both fear and curiosity. I thought it was a door to a room, but what I discovered was a set of stairs that climbed up into darkness.

  I turned on the light switch at the bottom of the stairs and made my way up. The laughter grew louder. A sudden breeze took me by surprise and I shivered. I could see my breath in front of me. It formed an icy cloud. The drop in temperature seemed odd considering the weather was still warm, even at night, but I kept going. Fear pulsed through my limbs, but I wouldn’t be deterred. I needed to find out what the source of this laughter was. I had heard it one too many times. What could produce such diabolical cackle? Was it a person or was there really a ghost at Thornfield?

  I reached the top of the stairs and found myself in some kind of tower bedroom. The walls were rounded and there was one window in the room with heavy curtains. A large mahogany bed sat at one end. It had curtains covered with depictions of dragons on it. There was also a fireplace and a dresser. The fireplace was black with soot and covered in cobwebs. The light above me flickered and faded; the room got darker and my teeth began to chatter with cold. There were no doors, other than the door from where I had come.

  The laughter started again. There was no other place the sound could be coming from. It was so loud I put my hands over my ears. It was everywhere. Ghost stories filled my mind. I remembered watching a scary old movie called The Innocents late one night when I was living with Mrs. Blankenship. And now, the haunting tale of that movie floated through my mind. And what about the rumors of Thornfield being haunted? Was it true? The laughter grew louder and I removed my hands from my ears.

  “What do you want?” I yelled.

  The laughter suddenly stopped. The light flickered again and grew very bright, and the room flooded with the stuffy warmth you would expect from an attic. I opened the curtains and looked out the window. The university campus and the mountains beyond were worthy of a picture. I imagined that this tower room must have been the most beautiful room at Thornfield in its day. I scolded myself for succumbing to my fears.

  My curiosity came back full force, and I opened the dresser and found several notebooks filled with sketches. They were all beautiful. I smiled despite myself and blushed. They were sketches of Edward. He was so handsome, just looking at the pictures of him made my cheeks turn red.

  A scream filled the night air and I dropped the notebook. It wasn’t a woman and it wasn’t like the laughter. It was a man yelling. I ran down the stairs as quickly as I could and stumbled into the hall. The yelling stopped, but the hall was filled with so much smoke I had to put my hand over my mouth to breathe. I followed the smoke to a room and ran in. The bed curtains in Edward’s room were on fire and he was sound asleep in the middle of his bed. I wondered how anyone could sleep through such chaos and then I saw the empty beer bottles on his nightstand and understood.

  I ran to Edward and shook him. He was sleeping like the dead. I pulled the blankets off of him and began to drag him off the bed. He seemed even heavier than when I had helped him back to the house. He felt like a boulder. I was worried I would reinjure his leg, but I kept pulling. It didn’t matter. I had to move him. He hit the floor with a loud thud and he finally woke up. His striking blue eyes opened and he looked up at me and then he looked at the fire around him. He stood up and grabbed me. He literally lifted me off my feet and carried me from the room. He carried me down the hall and set me down once we were passed the smoke. I coughed and fell to the ground. The smoke was so thick I could hardly breathe. Edward ran down the hall and came back with a fire extinguisher. I closed my eyes. My eyes were burning. My lungs were burning. All I could do was cough and lie on the floor.

  I became aware that I was in Edward’s arms again. He was carrying me down the hall like a princess in an old fairy
tale. I put my arms around him and leaned into him. I didn’t dare open my eyes. I coughed again and felt gently placed on the sofa in the sitting room. He didn’t let me go. He still held me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “Open your eyes and let me look at you,” he commanded.

  I opened my eyes and squirmed off of his lap. My heart was racing. I pushed myself as far away from him as I could get and looked at him. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of boxers. His body was perfect, and just looking at him made me blush again. I looked away from him, but I could feel him studying me.

  “Thank you,” he said. “I think I might have had too much to drink. I would have died if you hadn’t come in. You saved my life.”

  “I heard you yelling,” I said softly. I was afraid of my own voice.

  He shook his head. “I never yelled.”

  “There was laughter and then I heard you yelling.” My eyes were still burning and the room was spinning. I felt light-headed. I must have breathed in more smoke than I remembered. I wondered how I had been able to make it all the way down the hall and pull Edward from his bed. I was hardly able to stand. Edward’s face was blurry.

  I could see Edward frown through the haze of my watering eyes. He seemed upset. “You must have been dreaming.”

  I shook my head. “I was awake. I heard yelling.”

  “You are very brave,” he said, almost gently.

  I looked over at him and gasped when I noticed his arm. It was covered in angry blisters. Black soot painted his torso a dingy gray. His hair was disheveled. The smell of burnt skin lingered in the room.

  I tried to stand up. I had to get bandages for his arm. I knew where the nurse kept her supplies. I had to get ice. I had read that burns needed ice. I stood up and my head felt dizzy. I tried to take a step forward, but it was like walking through a fog. And then everything went black.