Jane of Air

by Jessica Penot

  Chapter 10

  I felt myself on the edge of the world; peering over the rim into a fathomless chaos of eternal night.

  ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  I WOKE UP IN MY bed. The smell of smoke was gone and I was wearing a clean nightgown. My eyes weren’t burning and the sun shone brightly. Had the fire been a dream? And Edward? Had he been a dream, too? I showered, dressed, and left my room. I wasn’t sure what to expect.

  As I walked down the hall, I saw that the night had been real. Servants I didn’t recognize were in the hall pulling out the burnt remains of Edward’s bed curtains. The room was filled with maids scrubbing the black soot from the walls and contractors repairing the fire damage from the night before. I kept my head down and tried to make it to the kitchen without being noticed. This proved to be an impossible feat. The house was filled with people. I had no idea who they were, but they all seemed to be bustling about. My quiet sanctuary had become Grand Central Station.

  I managed to make it to the staff kitchen without talking to anyone and was just about to sit down for breakfast when Mrs. Fairfax grabbed me by the arm.

  “My dear, are you all right?” She looked anxious. Her brow was knit with worry.

  “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.” I smiled, trying to reassure her.

  “You are a very brave girl!” She squeezed my hand. “Edward phoned me about the fire. It must have started in the fireplace in his room. He was reading by the fire and when he went to bed, the book must have fallen off the table. These old houses and their old fireplaces you know. We must be very careful not to leave anything flammable near those open flames.

  I nodded in agreement. I hadn’t thought about how the fire had started. It didn’t make any sense to me, but what did I know? “What’s going on?” I asked. “Why are all these people here?”

  “Edward invited some friends from Yale to stay with him next week. He wants the house in order. It is ridiculous, of course. Most of the rooms in this house haven’t been used since Edward’s parents died. I had to hire an entire team of temps to complete the work. I think he’s lost his mind. I don’t know what he could be thinking. We don’t see him for months and then he appears out of nowhere and says he’s bringing twenty friends for a party. It’s insanity.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “No dear,” Mrs. Fairfax sighed. “I would say you could take the next two weeks off, but Edward wants you to stay. I have no idea why. Miss Adele certainly won’t be alone and in need of a night companion, but Edward was quite insistent.

  “I’ll do my best to stay out of everyone’s way.”

  “That would be for the best. Lord only knows what these friends of his are going to be like. He’s such a strange young man. They might all have green spiky hair and piercings.”

  “I’ll get my breakfast and eat it in my room.”

  “I’m sorry, darling. He wants you to eat with him and Miss Adele in the dining room.”

  I took a deep breath. “Why on Earth would he want me to eat with him?”

  “I have no idea. That boy is a mystery.”

  “The big dining room?” I asked with a sigh. I had walked through the big dining room. I had no desire to eat there. The table in that room was longer than the length of Mrs. Blankenship’s house. One piece of china off that table was probably worth more than a year’s tuition. I was not the type of girl who should be eating in that dining room.

  Mrs. Fairfax must have noticed my discomfort. She put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’s strange, but he won’t bite,” she said with a small smile.

  I nodded and turned to go. I had no idea why Edward would want to eat with me. I was nothing but a servant, and not a very important servant at that. I was an ordinary girl without anything interesting to say to a guy in his world. I wished Helen were with me. She would dazzle him with her clever conversation. She would flash her stunning smile, he would be bewitched, and I could fade into the wallpaper.

  I made it to the dining room and opened the door. Edward was sitting at one end of the long table and Miss Adele was sitting at the other end. Her nurse was standing behind her and Edward was helping her eat. I felt like I had tripped and fallen into an episode of Downton Abbey. I shuffled my feet uncomfortably in the doorway. I wasn’t entirely sure which way to go. I didn’t think people lived like this anymore.

  “Sit down,” Edward commanded. He looked angry. He always looked a little angry. It was easy to see why people didn’t like him. Even though I had seen a glimpse of something tender in him last night.

  I sat down next to Miss Adele, as far away from Edward as I could.

  Edward took a sip of coffee and stared at me with his intense blue eyes. “My grandmother was just telling me about you. She says you’re the brightest girl she’s ever met.”

  “Th-thank you.” I smiled at Adele.

  “She says you’re studying medicine.”

  “No,” I corrected. “I’m not studying medicine.” He had clearly forgotten that I already mentioned to him that I was saving up for med school. But why would he remember anything I’d told him anyway? I was inconsequential in his life. “I’m just a freshman. I’m taking my core classes now and I’m only pre-med. I’m really not that interesting.”

  Miss Adele smiled at me. “Oh, don’t be silly,” she said. “You are the most interesting girl we’ve had here. You skipped two grades and you are the smartest young person I know. I told him about your love for books and how you saved me from the ghost that haunts my room at night.”

  “Enough of that,” Miss Adele’s nurse scolded. Another nurse I didn’t recognize. “You know there are no ghosts.”

  “Well, it seems that Jane likes to wander the halls at night saving people,” Edward commented.

  I blushed again. I had been blushing so much I thought my face might turn permanently red. Edward must’ve thought I came from a long line of cherry tomatoes. “I just got lucky last night,” I said.

  “Luck would have taken you to my room, but it wouldn’t have given you the courage to walk through fire and pull me from my bed.”

  One of the new servants put a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. I smiled at the girl and said, “Thank you.” I didn’t feel much like eating. My head hurt a little and I just wanted to go back to my room. Edward was shoveling forkfuls of eggs into his mouth, and Miss Adele was eating the same oatmeal she ate every morning. She was smiling brightly. I had never seen her look so happy. I could tell she was overjoyed that her grandson was home. She obviously adored him, even if he did have issues. I picked at my eggs and took a bite of bacon.

  “Do you like working here?” Edward asked as he sipped his coffee.

  “I love it here,” I answered honestly. “I’ve never been any place so beautiful. I don’t know why you don’t live here yourself. If I owned a house like this, I would never leave.”

  Edward threw his fork down on his plate and leaned forward and glared at me. I shrunk away from the intensity of his gaze.

  He said. “This place has too many memories.”

  “Of your girlfriend?” I asked without thinking.

  “Gossip spreads quickly here,” he said without answering the question. Edward stood up and left the table. I looked over at Miss Adele. She seemed as happy as she had been a few minutes ago. She was eating her oatmeal with a large smile on her face. She seemed oblivious to the fact that I had just made her grandson so mad he’d stormed away from the table. I took a few bites of toast and finished my tea, not wanting to leave Miss Adele until she’d finished her breakfast.

  After breakfast, I went to my room and tried to hide from the world. It was Saturday and I had to get through the rest of the weekend before I could escape back to school. I spent the rest of the morning studying, burying myself in my work. My course load was heavy and I was determined to graduate a year early,
so I couldn’t afford to fall behind. Once I graduated I could apply to med school, do my residency, and then I could begin working as an Emergency Room doctor. That was where my parents had dumped me when I was four years old. In the ER. That was where I wanted to make a difference.

  A maid knocked on my door to tell me lunch was ready. I didn’t want to go down to the dining room, again, and have to sit with Edward. I had no idea how to talk to him. He made me nervous and flustered, and it was all I could do not to blush every time he looked at me. The maid was nice enough to bring me back a sandwich when I told her I had to study.

  After I ate, I decided to go out for a walk. It had become my usual routine. I would spend weekend mornings studying, but I would enjoy nice long walks in the afternoons. I’d thought about visiting Helen, but I didn’t want to have to explain to her why I hadn’t texted her since we’d arrived. I didn’t want to have to ask her why she hadn’t bothered to text me, either. And I didn’t want to tell her about Edward. I knew what she would say. She would tell me to leave Thornfield, that I had already made enough money to pay for the dorms, there was no reason for me to stay on. I could hear her lecturing me. But I didn’t want to leave Thornfield. I loved it here. Even though I could hear weird laughter at night. Even though there was a fire. Even though Edward made me feel so awkward. I felt like Thornfield was where I was supposed to be.

  I left the house and the bustling noises behind and I walked into the gardens and down a narrow path that passed by the stables. I walked the path all the time. It was perfectly situated to give me a view of the horses without giving James a view of me. The path faced the back of the stables, so it felt hidden. All the horses were in the pasture. I watched them for a while. They stood eating grass in the shade of the trees that towered above the pasture. Their tails swished lazily back and forth. I hadn’t spent much time with animals. I hadn’t even had a cat or a hamster as a child. I climbed over the fence and walked up to a tall, lean horse. It was black with a white spot on its forehead. I reached out and put my hand on the side of the animal. It didn’t acknowledge me. It just kept eating grass. I smiled and ran my hand across the animal’s soft coat.

  A breeze rustled the leaves of the trees above me and the horse meandered away. I looked around at all the other horses. There must have been at least a dozen in the pasture. I wished I knew how to ride. I turned to walk back to Thornfield and ran directly into Edward. I jumped backward in surprise.

  “You scared me!” I yelled with an uncharacteristic display of temper. “How long have you been standing there?”

  He didn’t answer me for a while. He just kept watching me. I took that moment to return his stare. He was limping, and his ankle was in a brace. He had bandages on his arms from the burns. There was an angry cut on his face. None of this mattered. He was still beautiful.

  “I’m sorry,” I said finally. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper. You just startled me.”

  “You can ride one if you like,” he said after a while.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know how to ride.”

  “I’ll teach you,” he said. It was more of a command than an offer. He bellowed something at James. I hadn’t noticed James before, but he’d obviously been in the nearby barn doing something with the animals. James set about gathering up two horses and saddling them.

  We walked into the stables. I wasn’t sure if I was really going to be brave enough to get on a horse. It was one thing to read about riding. It was another thing to get on an animal and trust it with your life.

  “The black horse you were with,” Edward said. “It was my favorite when I was a kid. She’s getting old now, but she was always my favorite.”

  “You must have loved growing up here,” I commented. “I certainly would have.”

  “I was here until I was thirteen and then my parents sent me to a boarding school. I went to Cranbrook until I was seventeen, and now I’m at Yale. I didn’t really grow up here. I spent my summers here.”

  “Even so, it must have been nice being here for the summers,” I said, for lack of anything else better to say.

  He nodded.

  “What’re you studying at school?” I asked.

  “Business.”

  James brought us our horses and gave me a knowing smile. I didn’t return it. Undaunted by my expression he tried to help me onto the animal. He grabbed my leg and tried to guide me into the stirrup. Edward stepped in between us and scowled at James. He skulked away and I took a breath of relief. Edward continued watching James with a frown.

  “You like your business classes?” I asked, drawing his attention.

  “Someone needs to run the family businesses. I have to know how,” he said as he lifted me onto my horse.

  I grasped onto the saddle in front of me for dear life. “I don’t think I want to do this,” I said and I tried to climb down off the horse.

  Edward pushed me back on. “Don’t worry. She’s a gentle girl. You’ll be fine. Her name is Bella. Just pet her. She’ll take care of you. I promise.”

  I clung to the horse and told myself it would be okay. People rode horses all the time and not all of them ended up in wheelchairs or dead. Edward got on his brown horse with confidence and ease. His limp didn’t seem to stop him at all. His horse was much more spirited than mine and he had to reign it in a little to keep it from running away with him. Bella just lowered her head and began to eat grass.

  “Are you OK? You are hurt? Should you be riding?” I wasn’t sure if I was asking because I wanted to avoid riding or if I was genuinely concerned.

  “It’s just a sprain,” he answered with a grin. “I’ll be fine.”

  Edward whistled to Bella and we took off at a very slow pace into the woods. Bella was very responsive to Edward’s whistles and clucks, and I hardly had to do anything at all to get her to stay on the path. I began to feel more at ease and I had to admit that it was an amazing feeling being on the back of a horse. The woods behind Thornfield were breathtaking. I smiled stupidly and stroked Bella’s neck. It was a beautiful day and little purple wildflowers dotted the path. Birds sang in the trees above us and a gentle breeze cut through the lingering September heat. Edward looked back at me and smiled. That same smile from last night. He was dazzling when he smiled. I almost fell off the horse. He reached out and helped me regain my balance.

  “You have to use your thighs to hold onto the horse,” he explained. “You’re sliding all over the place because you aren’t holding on with your thighs.”

  I nodded and gripped the horse as tightly as I could with my legs. My butt hurt already.

  “What classes are you taking?” he asked.

  “I’m taking Organic Chemistry, Physics, Genetics, and Calculus and for my electives, English 102 and French.”

  “You seem to have skipped some classes. I thought you said you were only taking core classes. Those sound like higher level classes,” he commented. “Don’t you usually have to take Chemistry and Biology 101 before you get into the higher levels?”

  “I took all of those in high school. I took AP Chemistry, Biology, English, European and U.S. History, and Government in high school,” I said hesitantly. I hated admitting what a dork I was. “I’m hoping to graduate a year early,” I added.

  “So, you’re hoping to graduate by the time you’re nineteen? Do you ever sleep?”

  I laughed. “I guess I am a workaholic. When do you graduate?”

  “The same year as you, I guess, but I’ll be an old man by then.”

  I laughed again. “Ancient. You’ll need dentures. How old will you be?”

  “Twenty-two. Like normal non-super humans who go to college.”

  “I am normal. I just like school.”

  We rode for a long time. Edward wasn’t great with conversation, but then again, neither was I. Sometimes I would catch him looking back at me, but he seemed to be at a
loss for words. We rode up the small mountain behind Thornfield and when we got to the top, he helped me off Bella. There was a tower on top of the mountain. It looked so run down that it was a wonder it was still standing. An odd-looking wooden hut sat at its top. I recognized what it was. It was a fire tower. I knew their history, but I had never seen one up close. In the early 1900s, people, called fire watches, were stationed in remote areas to keep a lookout for fires. They lived in fire towers and the towers were put on mountains so they could see smoke at a great distance. Most of the towers had fallen into disrepair and this one was no exception.

  I glanced around. I wished there was a clearing because I imagined the view from the mountain top would have been spectacular if it weren’t for all the trees. I had never really been in the woods. I had never been hiking or been on the top of a mountain. All these things were new to me. Sitting in the woods watching Edward tie up the horses, I realized that I had lived most of my life through books and movies. Every mountain I had seen was on the Discovery Channel or on the Internet. Every horse I had seen was on Animal Planet. This was the first time I had ever done something really adventurous.

  Edward came over to me and took my hand.

  “Where are we going?” I asked in dismay. For some reason, the stupid gossip about Edward flashed through my mind. I was in the middle of the woods, alone with Edward Rochester, who everyone thought was a murderer.

  “I want to show you something.”

  Chapter 11

  I have harnessed the shadows that stride from world to world to sow death and madness.

  ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  I SHOOK MY HEAD. I could see where he was taking me. He was taking me up the tall rusty, iron fire tower on top of the mountain, and there was no way I was climbing up that rickety structure. If he didn’t kill me, I would probably fall and kill myself.

  “You’ll love it,” he said. “I promise.”