Merry Little Lies

by Addison Lloyd

  There was more to it, but I didn’t push. “I’ve been accepted to go there.” I watched for his reaction and I wasn’t disappointed.

  Mark grabbed my shoulders. “Shut up.”

  “I mean, I’ve also been accepted at Washington University in St. Louis, Mizzou and Truman State. I wanted to keep my options open.”

  He frowned. “So, you got my hopes up for no reason.”

  “Fun for me is a reason.” I laughed at his unimpressed face. “I haven’t decided. We should tour the campus together.”

  “That’ll take five minutes.”

  He wasn’t wrong. It was a small college. “And we can check out the comic book store in Fayette.”

  “Spoken like a true businessman. You know how to seal the deal,” he said with a grin.

  I ignored that. My dad wanted me to major in business, but he wanted me to take over the investment firm. But I didn’t want my life mapped out for me. I certainly didn’t want to turn out like my parents. “Maybe I’ll drag Jade along.”

  His jaw tightened. I would have missed it if I hadn’t been watching. Mark had never met Jade, so I wasn’t sure what that was about. Was it because my best friend could be flamboyant? Of course, he could also be militant and eccentric. Jade defied expectations. And that was easy to see from Instagram posts.

  Mark cleared his throat. “Are you good with computers?”

  “Adequate at best.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flash of Maple red. Carli held Rob’s hand, pulling him toward the door.

  “What about—”

  “I’m sorry,” I said to Mark. “I need to catch Carli.”

  I made my way to the door, feeling like I’d done this all before. My hand tingled from the memory of his hand in mine. The blush that crawled up his face when I brushed my fingers against his palm. God, he was so cute. Carli always seemed to get the cute ones first. In second grade it was Jimmy Henning. And now this adorable, sweet, gorgeous ginger. Who wasn’t at all what he seemed? I wanted to punch him and kiss him so completely he wouldn’t remember his name for real. Or the fact that he had a girlfriend. And that was a problem.

  I understood Carli’s haste to leave. My aunt treated her awful and she took it. That was not the Carli I knew. But it was Aunt Kay. She didn’t like our mom, and Carli reminded her too much of her. It was all about the family money.

  But Mom wasn’t a gold digger. She put every cent she didn’t earn herself into the bank for us. She didn’t splurge or buy anything frivolous. The money was there, but she acted like it wasn't. She seemed almost offended by it.

  But that wasn’t the message we heard since childhood from our dad’s side. People couldn’t be trusted. Did they really love you or your money? And my ex, Sean, had done nothing to disprove that idea. That was part of the reason I liked private schools. Most everyone had money already. It was one less thing I had to worry about.

  What about Rob?

  But I wasn’t going to think about him. He was Carli’s problem.

  I stopped mid-stride causing someone to bump into me. I barely noticed. Gorgeous Rob who flirted with me and not my sister. The guy who was so obviously not what he seemed that he couldn’t remember what name he’d given.

  What if he was dating Carli for her money? My chest squeezed at the thought. I didn’t believe it, not really. But I’d been told all my life how naïve I was. And when I’d ignored all the warnings, Sean happened. I couldn’t let Carli go through that.

  “Hey, wait.” I finally caught up to them as they reached the door.

  “We’re leaving.” Carli said.

  I felt Rob’s eyes on me, but I tried to ignore him. “I can tell. That's why I came over to say goodbye. I’ll call Mom tomorrow.”

  “Don't.”

  “Carli.”

  “I'm serious, Aaron. Don’t bother. I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces when you stop calling. And you always do.”

  Warmth flooded my face. She wasn’t wrong. It was just sometimes too hard being in the middle.

  Carli shook her head and turned away.

  “Rob,” I said, my stomach doing flips as our eyes caught. I didn’t know how to feel. My emotions jumbled all over themselves. Rob and I stared at each other a moment too long. But Carli didn't seem to notice as she grabbed her coat.

  “It was nice to meet you,” Rob said, putting his hand out.

  My breath caught. Could he tell I wanted to touch him again? We shook hands and I never wanted to let go. He finally dropped my hand, a blush heating up his face.

  “Are you guys done?” Carli said dryly with an eyebrow quirked. Okay, maybe she did notice.

  “Let's go.” Rob placed his hand on her back and led her out. Right before they reached the door, he looked back and gave me one last smile.

  I waited a few moments before grabbing my coat and following them out. I could've easily used the excuse I was worried his car wouldn't start again. But the guy seemed pretty handy with that wrench, and he wouldn’t appreciate any help from me.

  My reasons for leaving were more complicated than that. Or maybe they weren’t. Once Carli and Rob were gone, I just didn't want to be there anymore. I told myself, I was looking out for Carli. A few more times and I might even believe it.

  But the truth was Rob took everything when he left. The spark. The desire to argue with someone which I hadn’t done in years. I’d had enough arguing in my life growing up. I wasn't a big fan of it now. But with Rob, it felt less like fighting and more like I didn't even know. Maybe it was like that painting at the gala. The swirling emotions were out there for everyone to see. The artist had brought out every single one. good and bad. That's what Rob did, He brought out every single emotion I could feel: anger, frustration, curiosity, excitement, and other things I just didn't want to explore. Leaving was the best thing to do. And I couldn't take a minute more of the oppressiveness of my aunt's home. The dark furniture or the unyielding principles.

  Snow fell lightly, covering everything with a sparkly sheen. I loved snow. I didn't like driving in it so much but when it was like this? Snow had a cleansing, quiet presence.

  Rob was not enjoying the snow. The sound of the wrench banging rang through the night. Then he dropped his tool and kicked the front tire. I had the feeling he’d tried this already, and it hadn’t worked.

  At least he wasn’t under the hood this time.

  “Need any help?”

  His eyes flashed, although I wasn't sure if his anger was directed at me or the car. “Why are you always here?”

  “I was just leaving,” I said. “I thought you might want some help.”

  “I don't, okay? I've got this.”

  I put my hands up and backed away. No matter what he said though, I wasn’t leaving my sister here stranded.

  He moved around me to sit halfway in the car and tried the ignition again. It clicked with each turn of the key but didn’t start.

  “What the hell?” my sister asked.

  “I think the starter needs replaced or it could be the solenoid.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “It means it’s not going to start,” he snapped at her.

  She crossed her arms, her lips tight, as she slumped back in her seat.

  Rob shut his eyes and his lips moved. Was he counting? He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and jumped out of the car. The door slammed. Hard. Counting didn’t seem to be working for him.

  I risked a question. “Can you call someone?”

  He shook his head, his jaw clenched, as he grabbed his tools and threw them in a toolbox in the trunk.

  “Do you have AAA or insurance or…?”

  “No. No. And no.”

  I stopped him as he headed back to the front of the car. “Let me help you.”

  He finally looked at me, and I could see the worry on his eyes. “Do you have any battery cables?”

  Did I? It wasn’t something I’d ever needed. “I don’t think so.”

 
; He ran his hand through his short hair. “We’ll be fine. I’ve got this.”

  “I don’t think you do.” It was funny how hard he was trying to not need my help when, really, there weren’t many options. He could go inside and beg my aunt for help. I didn’t see that happening.

  He scowled. “I'd rather walk than accept your help.”

  That stung a little. I threw up my hands. “Fine. You said it was what? An hour and a half drive? Carli’s got on some killer heels that may not work well with snow. But you’ve got this.”

  “I'm not walking,” Carli said, her purse on her arm.

  I hadn’t even noticed she’d gotten out of the car.

  “Stop being a stubborn ass.” She walked past Rob and smacked him on the arm. “It’s snowing. I’m cold. And my shoes are getting ruined.”

  I tried not to smile. This was my sister. In your face and take no prisoners.

  “And you can wipe that smirk right off your face, Aaron.” She glared at me before storming over to my car.

  I reached into my pocket fumbling for the keys to unlock it. I didn't need a pissed off Carli knocking me over the head with that monster she called a purse. Not sure what she packed in there, but I knew from experience it hurt. I stared at Rob a moment longer before heading to my car.

  He grabbed his backpack from the trunk and locked his car. Really? Who was going to steal it? Trudging through the snow, he huddled against a sudden gust of wind.

  For a moment, I wondered if he’d get in the back with Carli. I tried to ignore the flutter of excitement that raced through me as he jumped in the front with me.

  “Are we just gonna sit here?” he snapped.

  I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “Seatbelt.”

  He rolled his eyes but proceeded to pull on the seatbelt. As soon as I heard the click, I started the car.

  “Did you know that in Australia if somebody gets caught not wearing a seatbelt, the driver loses their license?” I asked.

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “You're making that up.”

  “I guess you’ll never know.” I put the car in gear and pulled through the snowy drive to the highway. I hoped they were treating the roads. After being the rescuer, I didn’t want to get stranded.

  “You forget. I have Google.” He waved his phone at me before scrolling on it.

  I wasn't sure if he was really checking out my story, or if this was just a convenient way to ignore me. It didn’t matter. We had a long drive ahead of us. Longer if it started snowing any harder.

  He couldn’t ignore me the whole way.

  FIVE:

  CIAN

  I resisted the urge to bang my head repeatedly against the window. Of all the times for Betsy to fail me. It had to be in front of Mr. Perfect Rich guy. Even his cologne smelled expensive. The faint scent of vanilla and rain forest filled the car, forcing me to face why I was so angry. Ugh. I hated being attracted to him. Why did he have to be so cute?

  I peeked over at him. He was focused on the road, his hands perfectly at ten and two. Snow fell lightly casting the background in an almost magical light. It felt more intimate than it was and definitely more than I was comfortable with.

  A faint shadow covered his jaw. How old was he? Carli told me he went to Westbridge which was a private high school, but was he still there or had he graduated?

  Carli ignored us. She had her earbuds in, and her leg bounced in response to whatever tunes she was listening to. Probably Rap. I leaned back against the window. I messed up her night. The real Rob would have been more fun, had a car that started, and not been crushing on her stupid gorgeous brother.

  “Worried about your car?”

  Our eyes caught for half a second before he focused again on the road. Why did that split moment in time hit me harder than all the boyfriends I’d actually had? Oh, yeah. They were all jerks who left when things got tough. Story of my life. And that reminded me of my dad.

  Nope. Not going there.

  I rubbed my hands together. They were cold but I mostly needed something else to focus on besides the guy next to me.

  “Rob?” I heard him take a breath. “Ce?”

  My real name coming from his lips had me wanting things I couldn’t have with him. A boyfriend to hang out with and kiss whenever I wanted. I ignored those stupid thoughts and focused on the concern in his voice. What was his question again? Oh, yeah. “Betsy will be fine,” I said. “She’s tough.”

  “Your car is named Betsy?”

  “Don’t you name your cars?”

  “No,” he said. “Except …”

  A blush crept up his neck and it was more beautiful than most paintings. “What?”

  “I do call her baby sometimes.” His voice was almost a whisper and he glanced in the rearview mirror at Carli.

  Was he afraid she’d overhear? That was adorable. And the way he said baby …I bit my lip to stop from asking him to say it again.

  I needed to remember why liking this guy was such a bad idea. And there were plenty of reasons. The first being that he was my girlfriend’s brother. And I was lying to him. Most of all, I was done with guys. There were more important things in life. Although it was hard remembering what they were when he smelled so amazing.

  “What cologne do you wear?” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. And there was no way to cram them back in or pretend I didn’t say them.

  “Hero,” he said. “Mankind Hero by Kenneth Cole. Do you like it?”

  “It’s nice.” Understatement. And even the name was perfect for him. “Maybe I’ll get some.” I wouldn’t but he didn’t need to know that.

  “You might want to get Betsy fixed first.”

  And just like that, I remembered my role: The poor kid needing a ride because he couldn’t afford a better car. What a jerk.

  “Sorry. That was supposed to be a joke.”

  “No biggie.” I stared out the window and watched the snow falling softly.

  “Ce.” His hand touched my arm, and I had a frantic moment where I wanted to both pull away, so I didn’t feel the sparks between us, and jump in his lap. He moved his hand just as quickly as he’d placed it.

  I needed to throw those boundaries back up between us. “Rob,” I said. “Call me Rob.”

  He nodded but his jaw tightened.

  Was he mad at my request? Or was it something else

  “Why did you introduce yourself as Ce? Back there at the gala?”

  I wasn’t sure what to tell him. I couldn’t really explain it or why I insisted on Rob now. I could give him the truth. Just not all of it. I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped my hands on my pants. Had he turned up the temperature? “My brother called me Ce. When we were kids. It kind of stuck.”

  “Is he older? Younger?”

  I traced my finger around the buttons on my cuffs. I couldn’t look at him. “He was younger,” I said. “But he passed away a few years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.” His hand covered mine and this time he didn’t pull away. The touch of his hand and the care in his voice seemed to soothe a part of me that still hurt. God. I just need to get over it and move on. My brother wouldn’t want me to still be this torn up. Or maybe he would. A laugh escaped me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Just thinking about Teddy,” I said. “He was such a jokester. Always making me laugh.”

  Aaron smiled and then moved his hand back to the steering wheel.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve laughed.” Why did I say that?

  “Tell me about him,” he said looking over at me. “Really. I want to hear more about him. If you want to, I mean.” He shifted in his seat. “I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to talk about it.”

  “It’s fine. I mean, everyone thinks I’ll get upset. That talking about him will remind me somehow that he’s dead.” I didn’t mean to be so blunt, but sometimes it was the only way to get through to people. Not Aaron, necessarily. But people. “Like I could ever forget. Like I
don’t think about him. Every. Single. Day.”

  I chewed on my lip, trying to keep from losing it. Why had a thought this was a good idea? “And sometimes I just want to talk about him.” Unlike my family. They wanted me to be brave. To live my life without him. Why did that have to mean pretend nothing happened? And for a brief moment, I thought I knew why my dad left. Was he tried of pretending?

  “How old was he when he died?”

  “He was twelve. I was fifteen.” It was the next logical question. The one I always got so I decided to get it out there.

  “Did he like Pokémon?”

  “What?” That question I didn’t expect.

  “Playing Pokémon. With the cards. Carli and I played it all the time.” He shrugged. “When our parents argued, we’d go upstairs and battle. And they argued a lot.”

  I imagined a younger Carli playing Pokémon with her big brother, trying to drown out the yelling. I wanted to be mad at him. Angry because he took charge over but maybe he was used to taking charge. Protective.

  “You always cheated,” Carli said leaning forward.

  Aaron laughed. A deep rich laugh that had me never wanting him to stop. “I just understood the game.”

  “I was eight. You were ten.”

  “When you play with the big boys...”

  She snorted at that. “Yeah. Okay. How close are we?”

  “Almost there.”

  Carli nodded and sank back into the seat once again jamming to her music.

  I didn’t give Aaron directions, but of course he knew where his sister lived. That’s when I realized I’d have to give him my address. I wasn’t ashamed of being poor. Okay, maybe I was. We lived with my gran and we had a nice enough house. It was small but it was in an old neighborhood. Old and sometimes forgotten. Could I get him to drop me off at the Casey’s on the corner? I watched him for a moment as he drove. No way. Protector. I had that right. He’d take me right to my front door. Just what I needed. A Boy Scout.

  It reminded me of why this wouldn’t work even if I wasn’t his sister’s fake boyfriend. We were completely different. He was rich and screamed class president, and I was neither of those things. I couldn’t even figure out how I was going to get my sweet Betsy back home. Another burden I couldn’t put on my mom.