Merry Little Lies

by Addison Lloyd

  Carli’s house was dark when we arrived. She gathered her stuff, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and a “see you tomorrow”. As she walked up the sidewalk, she suddenly turned back around.

  “Thanks, Aaron,” she said. “For saving my shoes.” She grinned at us both and then disappeared in the house.

  His mouth opened slightly. “What just happened?”

  “I think your sis ain’t so mad anymore.”

  “I think you’re right.” The smile on his face lit up the car. I never really understood that saying before, but I wanted him to always be that happy.

  “Where to?”

  I gave him my address, and he plugged it into his GPS. Once we were on our way, I realized the other thing I tried not to think about. Now that the pesky sister-slash-fake-girlfriend was gone, we were very much alone.

  SIX:

  AARON

  The night wasn’t going like I expected. Not that I had high hopes or anything when it started. I hoped to reconnect with my sister. The smile she gave me when I dropped her off made it all worthwhile. So yeah, I went to the gala for Carli. It definitely wasn’t for my judgmental, possibly homophobic aunt. But if I was honest, I went to the afterparty for her boyfriend. That was messed up. But I couldn’t get the guy out of my head.

  And what was up with that kiss from Carli? If I kissed him goodbye, it wouldn’t be a quick peck on the cheek. I’d need to touch his face. Hold him while I slowly kissed him. Making sure he believed it was real. The way he chewed on his lip when he was nervous drove me crazy. I wanted to be the one biting…

  I shifted in my seat, trying to get comfortable. I had to stop thinking of him like that.

  Rob hadn’t said a word since we left Carli’s house. I needed something to break the silence and distract me from my thoughts.

  “Do you have anyone you can depend on?” That did not come out the way I wanted it to. Even from here, I could see his body tense up.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” His voice sounded hesitant, reserved, as if he was expecting to be hurt. The easiness of our earlier conversation was gone.

  I tightened my fingers on the wheel reflexively trying to expel the nervous tension I suddenly felt. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wondered if you had anyone you could call on when you needed help. And maybe they were all busy. It’s none of my business really.” And now I was nervously babbling. Great. “What about your mom?”

  “I don’t want to bother her.”

  “Helping her son would be a bother?”

  He turned his face away and studied the scenery as we drove by. “Are you always this nosy?”

  “No. Never.” I could feel his eyes back on me, but I didn’t dare look at him. What right did I have to ask all these questions?

  He blew out of breath. “If she knew my car was broken down, she’d want to fix it.”

  “So?”

  “She doesn’t have the money.”

  It reminded me again of how different our worlds were. “Do you?”

  “Next question.”

  “What about your dad? Can you ask him for help?”

  “Next question.”

  He had tensed up even more if that was possible. I was afraid if I slowed down, he might just bolt from the car. Time to lighten things up or at least try. “If you had to bury a body in the middle the night who would you call?

  He laughed at that. “Rob.”

  I glanced over at him. His eyes widened as if he just realized what he said.

  Who talked about themselves in third person? I was missing something. And again, it reminded me of how secretive Rob was. Even if he wasn’t my sister’s boyfriend, and even if he was gay, it still wouldn’t work between us. I couldn’t deal with secrets and lies. And he was definitely hiding something.

  And he was poor. I wasn’t biased against people who didn’t have money; the stuff didn’t mean anything to me. But I’d been burned before. Sean had pretended he loved me. All he’d been after was money and power. It just reinforced the message I lived my entire life. Be careful who you trust.

  My parents had loved each other. No doubt about that. But at some point, it hadn’t been enough. Love had turned to anger and suspicion. I didn’t know all the details, but their fights had been about money, and about us--Dad spoiling us and Mom trying to keep us practical. And quite a lot of them had been about Dad’s family. How they treated mom and how he let them. It infected every part of their relationship. People from such different worlds couldn’t make it work. Rob and I could never make it work. We were better off staying in our own lanes.

  “What about you?” Rob asked.

  “What?”

  “If you had to bury a body in the middle the night, Aaron, who would you call?”

  I laughed. That was fair. I brought it up. “Jade. He’s my best friend. And he would know the best hiding spots. We’ve gotten in so much trouble at the Westbridge.” Our eyes met and for just a second, I forgot about the road, the world beyond this car, and the snow blowing around us. Thankfully, I remembered just in time to not get us stuck in a snowbank. The snow had picked up and was blowing all over the road. I really needed to pay attention.

  “Good to know. I now have a new person to call if I need a body buried in the woods in the middle of the night.”

  “Jade?”

  “No,” he said shaking his head. “You. You know all the best people.”

  It was hard to remember how much this couldn’t work when he smiled like that. I turned back to the road. “Could you stop being so damn cute?”

  He didn’t say anything, so I risked another glance. His mouth was slightly open in surprise. He snapped it shut. “You called me cute.”

  “Yes, I did. And I’m already regretting it.”

  “You are?” His voice had gone soft as if he was afraid of the answer.

  “No.” My throat had gone dry. “Never.”

  His skin reddened from the blush spreading on his face, and I wanted to kiss him.

  “Slow down. Aaron.”

  I panicked at the slight urgency in his voice and pushed on the brakes a little too hard. We started to slide, and I turned into the swerve to regain control.

  “I didn’t say stop. Or run us off the road.”

  “Sorry.” Now it was my turn to blush.

  “My house is right up here.”

  That’s when I noticed the area we were in. The snow covered everything giving it a serene, almost cleansing, look. A house with broken screens on the windows and junk cars stored in the side yard, sat next to an abandoned house that seemed to be disintegrating before my eyes.

  The GPS and Rob said we’d arrived at the same time. We pulled up to a small house. It looked to be in better shape than most, and I wondered if Rob did the repairs they needed himself. I could picture him looking up how-to videos on YouTube, so they didn’t have to pay anyone.

  “Thanks for the ride.” He pushed the door open.

  “Rob?”

  The cold winter air seeped into the car as he turned to face me. “Yeah?”

  “How are you getting your car tomorrow?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.”

  “I thought we already agreed on this.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What did we agree on?”

  “If you needed a body buried, or in this case a car rescued, you would call on me.”

  “Aaron, you’ve done enough.”

  I ignored that. “Okay, then. It’s settled. I’ll be here tomorrow morning at eight o’clock to pick you up. If you know what we need we can just get it and fix your car. Or I can arrange to have it towed some—”

  “No,” he said, quickly. “It doesn’t need to be towed. That’s just throwing money away. I know what parts I need and where to get them.” He stepped out of the car. “Thanks, Aaron. I really appreciate your help.”

  I held up my hand in response and watched him walk up the stairs to his house. I didn’t leave until he’d u
nlocked the door and was safely inside.

  Why had I volunteered to help him? But I knew why. He had so much on his shoulders I wanted to just take a little bit from him and make things easier. It wasn’t the smartest move. Now I’d be spending more time with him. And I tried to pretend I wasn’t excited about that fact.

  As I drove back home, I thought about Carli and Mom. I missed not being a part of their lives, and I needed to fix it.

  But mostly it was Ce—Rob—that occupied the space in my head. Warning signals were going off faster than the low-heart chime in a Zelda game. It was almost game over. And I had to get control before that happened.

  Rob didn’t seem to care about my money, except to blame me for having it. But was he protesting just to protest? Sean fooled me. What if Rob was good at acting and just playing me? He did accept the ride. And if I offered to pay for the car repairs, I’d bet he’d accept that, too. My mind was a jumbled mess.

  But one thing was clear. I hadn’t been this interested in anything or anyone for a long time.

  SEVEN:

  CIAN

  A perfect white canvas of snow glistened in the morning light brightening a normally dreary neighborhood. I jabbed the snow with the shovel, marring the otherwise smooth surface. The snow was less than six inches deep, so it was easy to shovel. I tested the heaviness as I tossed it to the side. People thought I was crazy, but I loved shoveling snow. Part of it was the physical labor. I enjoyed the strain on my muscles and the feeling of a job well done. It was easy to measure and know when it was done correctly. Not everything was like that.

  But I also loved marking the canvas. The symmetry of shoveling out one strip at a time. I’d always been fascinated by the pattern of things. The beauty of texture. And order. And while I thrived on things being just so, I also loved the wild abandon of color and adding the unexpected. It made no sense, but I imagined that was why I loved to paint.

  I ignored the urge to forget the snow and pick up my abandoned brushes. There was a reason I hadn’t painted anything in the last six months. And nothing had really changed.

  It didn’t take me long to shovel the sidewalk and sprinkle it with salt. The driveway would take longer. The crisp air burned my lungs, and a gust of wind took my breath away. My favorite part of winter had always been Christmas. We’d been a family: Mom, Dad, Emily, Teddy, and I. And Gran. She would come over and spend the holidays with us. But things started changing, and once the shifting started it seemed to take over. Emily went off to college and then got married. And after Teddy died, it was hard to enjoy Christmas. Even if I could forget things for a little while, there was always something missing--something not quite right. It reminded me of when I added the wrong color to a painting. It felt off, and I had to fix it, but I couldn’t always figure out how.

  Then last year my dad moved out. It didn’t start with a blow out or a huge argument. My parents had coped by ignoring their problems and each other. Until one day my dad had had enough. He packed up his clothes, his collection of baseball cards, and left everything else. Including me. I still saw him, especially around my birthday and the holidays, but it felt like we were all just pretending. Playing our parts.

  The one bright spot during Christmas was my Gran. She'd always told us stories of her Christmases in Ireland growing up. We’d decorate the tree and light the Wandering Candle on Christmas Eve. She'd make Shepard’s Pie which Teddy loved but I hated. Now I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Gran had always been the one to bring everyone together. She wore her long gray hair in a single braid down her back. The wrinkles around her eyes were a testament to the smile she always wore like a favorite scarf. Comforting and warm.

  After Dad left, we moved in with Gran to save money. I knew she missed having space all to herself, but she’d never complained. It was another reason I shoveled the snow, and cleaned the gutters, and patched the roof. It was my way of making things easier and thanking her all at the same time.

  I continued to attack the snow like it was a TIE starfighter from the Galactic Empire. Shoveling was a great way to get out all my aggression. And I needed to get it done before Aaron got here. If he came at all.

  He’d gotten quiet once he saw where I lived. I fully expected him to not show.

  As I focused on the crunch of snow and the repetitiveness of the task, I wondered why I was letting him help me. Not that I had many choices. Which led to wondering how I was going to pay for the parts I needed. I had some money, but it wasn’t enough. If I had the starter, I could trade it in. But Betsy and her starter were ninety miles away. And while they had auto parts stores in Columbia, I’d rather go to Stucky’s Auto Parts. It was in the next town over and they knew me there. Sometimes, they would let me charge it. Payday was at the end of the week, if I could just figure things out until then. I hated that I had to call in today. Gary understood. He was a good boss. Of course, I’d already called my coworkers and found someone to switch with me. It would also be little bit less money on my next paycheck.

  What did it matter anyway? Even if he did show up, I wouldn’t see him again after today. I pushed away the loneliness that hit me. It had been a long time since I was even interested in a guy.

  After I finished the driveway, I went inside and grabbed a to-go cup of coffee. I unzipped my jacket but didn’t take it off. It was almost eight.

  Mom joined me by the coffee pot and poured herself a cup.

  “All done?”

  “Yup.”

  She studied me for a moment. “Going back out?”

  My shift didn’t start until ten, and I wouldn’t normally be out this early. “I’ve got to get some things. For the car.”

  She blew on the coffee and took a sip. “Where is the car?”

  I didn’t want to answer. The plan had been to be gone and back before she noticed. No such luck. I glanced at the clock. Five minutes. Maybe Aaron would be early.

  “Cian?”

  “I had some trouble with Betsy last night, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  “We need to get you a better car. Once you go off to college--”

  “Mom. Stop.” I touched her face, so she’d look at me. “College is a year and a half away.”

  “But you had money saved up.”

  “And we needed it to pay the utilities.” I kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ve got money for the parts, and I’ll do the work myself. Besides, Betsy’s a part of the family.”

  She laughed at that. “Old and dysfunctional.”

  “Hey, speak for yourself.” Gran grabbed a cup from the cabinet and joined us. “Any coffee left? Or did Ce drink it all again.”

  “Me?”

  Gran poured a cup and slid into the breakfast nook, moving the curtains to check the neighborhood. Something she did every day. “Who’s the hottie?”

  I glanced up quickly and met Mom’s curious stare. When the knock on the door came, she grinned.

  I expected him to honk, not show up at the door. “Gotta go.”

  “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” Mom asked.

  “No time.”

  I waved to them both as I hurried to answer the door. I pushed past Aaron, letting him know we weren’t going inside. “You could have just honked.”

  “That would have been rude.”

  I could tell by his face, he was serious. I’d never met another guy my age who was this old-fashioned. But for some reason, I liked it.

  “Did you do this?” he asked, pointing to the sidewalks.

  “Yeah. Just finished.”

  Once we were in the car and it was started, warm air pumped through the vents. It took Betsy a while to heat up. A long while. I trialed my fingers over the soft leather of his seats. I loved Betsy, but Aaron’s Land Rover was sweet. We sat there like that, him watching me, and I wondered why we weren’t going anywhere.

  His smile was playful as he waited for me to catch on.

  “Oh, I'm sorry. You don't know where we’re going.” I gave him th
e address of the auto shop, and he entered it into his GPS. I could have told him exactly how to get there. But I guess if I had a fancy piece of equipment like that, I’d use it, too.

  He followed the directions of the GPS, and we were soon headed out of town.

  “I'm guessing you don't do that kind of stuff,” I said.

  “What?”

  “You know, shovel snow or mow grass.” I shrugged. I didn’t want to insult him.

  He laughed. “What? Are you envisioning a fully staffed household? Butler, housekeeper, cook, gardener? And another person just to shovel the snow?”

  I looked away, embarrassed. I really shouldn't have assumed.

  “I'm just messing with you,” he said. “We have a housekeeper. She comes in and cleans several times a week. And someone who takes care of the yard.” he rolled his eyes. “And shovels the snow “

  “Handy.”

  “But we don't have butlers or chauffeurs or a private jet.”

  “Sad.”

  “I know right? I wanted to get one, but Dad said no.”

  I shook my head. “Are you sure you and Carli are related?”

  His smile vanished and his hands tightened on the wheel.

  I shouldn’t have said anything. “Aaron, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  The tension in his body eased slightly. “It’s okay. Mom has plenty of money. She just doesn't like to use it. It’s like if she spends the money, it validates everything they’re saying. She makes fairly good money on her own. And both Carli and I have a trust fund.”

  I couldn't help the smile on my face. “So, you’re a trust fund baby?”

  “I already regret telling you that. It's not about the money. I don't really care about that.”

  Easy to say when you have it. But I didn't say that. He couldn't help that he was rich. We were getting along, and I didn't want to mess that up. And he’d shown up like he said he would. Dependable. That was rare.

  But I probably wouldn’t see him after today. And that was when I realized I wanted Aaron to know the real me. Even if this was a short-term thing, I wanted to be myself. I multitasked by sending a quick text to Carli asking to be let off the hook, while still talking to her brother. “If it’s not about the money, what is it about?”