Where Demons Hide

by A. M. Brooks

  “Jay,” I moan into his mouth. I’m nearing the edge, every slam of his hips hitting my clit at just the right angle with the perfect amount of pressure. Sweat beads form on my temples, and my fingers clutch at the skin on his shoulders. Everything in my body is wound tight.

  “Let go, baby,” he practically growls into my mouth, and I do. I come all over his cock. Jay pulls back, his eyes dilating as he watches me experience my orgasm. His body rides mine out before his hips jerk sharply and a low groan escapes him.

  I finally breathe, taking in long pulls of air, yet I still can’t make myself let him go. Thankfully, he seems just as reluctant to let me go. His body pins mine to the bed, except for his forearms that he’s braced on, bracketing around my head. He catches his breath before me and dips his lips to mine, gently this time. My lips and chin are raw and swollen from the scrape of his facial hair.

  “I’m going to stay,” he says with authority. I can only nod my head in response, still completely shaken from the sex with this man. He rolls onto his back, taking me with him and tucking my body into his side. He moves to the edge of the bed, grabs his cell phone from the floor and places it on my nightstand. The light from the screen casts an eerie glow. The light reflects on the silver chamber of a Colt 1911 45ACP. My body tenses. That is not the usual 9mm Glock that is law enforcement issued. The handgun that Sarge and the other guys in blue wear around town.

  “Go to sleep,” Jay says, gripping my chin and pulling my gaze back to him. “Everything is alright. I got it.” The sincere mask that drops over his face melts my chills. Of course, he knows what he’s doing.

  I licked my lips. “Okay,” I whisper, accepting his protection, allowing a piece of myself to give up control and trust him.

  “Goodnight, babe,” he murmurs, kissing my forehead.

  “‘Night, Jay,” I answer before burrowing my face against his shoulder. My room has lost its glow, the light across the street finally going out, yet I don’t feel scared. There is no sense of loneliness sitting on my chest. My thoughts are peaceful, and my breathing evens out until everything shuts off and I sleep.

  I pinch my eyes together, ignoring the sunlight streaming in from my window, letting out a huff of frustration. Jay opened my curtain again. Sure enough, I hear the shower turn off in the bathroom across the hall. My mom is down south for work for a few days and I know it isn’t her. I keep waiting for Jay to say something about her and her lack of existence in my home, but he doesn’t. He’s probably just glad she hasn’t been around all week to hear him nail her daughter every night. Every night this week, Jay has been in my bed. Usually after driving me home from work, something he insists on doing. Just as he insists on hanging out at the bar most nights a few hours left into my shift. Luis has started to notice. Thank fuck he hasn’t said anything. All I got was a lift of his eyebrow and small grunt. Jay pays his tab every night and leaves a generous tip, so Luis can’t complain too much.

  “You’re awake,” Jay says, walking back into my room. I roll onto my back and watch him cross the room to the small stack of clean clothes he placed there last night. My blue towel sits low on his hips. A few water droplets slide down his chest. I can’t form coherent thoughts except that I wish I was those water beads right now. My tongue darts out to my lips.

  “Stop that,” Jay announces before turning and giving me his back.

  “That’s not helping,” I tell him, groaning. When did my hormones become those of a thirteen-year-old boy? I want Jay all the time. His body on mine, next to mine, inside mine. His laugh gives me tingles, his voice makes my knees shake, and his touch warms everything inside mine. It’s been a week of playing house and he’s embedded his way into my life. He feeds an addiction I wasn’t aware that I had. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before and it should scare the ever-living crap out of me.

  “What time do you start today?” he asks, a hint of a smile tugs at his lips like he knows that he’s twisting me up in knots.

  “Lunch shift today,” I tell him. “Twelve to five, then I told Sarge I’d eat dinner at the ranch tonight.”

  He turns and frowns. “Did I know about that?”

  I sit up, hugging my knees to my chest and shrug. “Probably not,” I tell him. “We made the plans over a week ago.”

  “Oh,” he answers, dropping the towel to slide his briefs and jeans on. “So, I don’t get to see you tonight?”

  I shake my head no, watching in fascination as his face darkens. His jaw clenches and the muscles in his forearms ripple when his fists tighten. “You could come over after?” I ask, hesitation coating my voice. I feel like it’s the wrong answer on a test I’m taking.

  “Yeah,” he says, pulling his black t-shirt over his head. He doesn’t say anything else, averting his eyes while he pockets his cell phone and wallet from my nightstand. He tucks the Colt in the back of his waistband before he brings his gaze back to mine. Disappointment ripples through my chest when I see the blank mask over his face. “I’ll call you then,” he tells me. I swallow down the lump in my throat, hoping I won’t cry. I hate feeling insecure like I did something wrong.

  “Are you mad?” I ask timidly, hating to be one of those girls, not sure how ready he is to share feelings. He blinks before dragging his hand over the top of his hair.

  “Is that Blake’s room down the hall?” he asks. I pause, not thinking I heard him right. Judging by the stiffness of his body posture, I’m assuming we are not going to talk about our feelings.

  Instead, I nod my head. “Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. “My mom won’t pack it up. It’s exactly as he left it when we moved out.” I keep my eyes down on the comforter, letting him see my insides. “I haven’t been in there since the funeral either. I tried once to box some stuff up, but she got mad.”

  “People deal with grief in different ways,” he says, his voice softer than it was a few minutes ago. I shrug in response. Tears tickle the edges of my eyes.

  “I just feel like he’d want us to let go, ya know? Like his things are holding him here or something. He haunts the room.” I share my secret lightly.

  “You haven’t been in there since the funeral?” he asks quietly.

  “No,” I tell him again. “She closed the door and it’s just stayed that way.” I don’t tell him how scared I am to open the door and face all the memories waiting there. I wish she’d pack it away. I wish I had the courage to do it. It’s one of those things that parents should have to do. I’m the kid, it shouldn’t be me. Cleaning out the place we lived in for a year was bad enough. His high school room, our childhood room would be worse.

  “Where did you put everything from your guys’ apartment?” he asks, watching me closely. My cheeks heat when I realize I spoke out loud.

  “I threw away what I couldn’t take with me in the car. The rest of the boxes are in a storage shed for now,” I answer.

  He nods. “Whenever you are ready to say goodbye, I’ll help you. We can do it when your mom isn’t around. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll be here.”

  My chest warms at his words. “Thanks,” I mumble, unable to look at him.

  He pushes off my dresser and crosses the room, hovering over me. “Drive safe,” he says before pecking my lips lightly. I’m stunned and emotionally drained from our conversation. My eyes close against the burn from the tears, my heart thundering in my chest.

  “The hell,” I whisper to myself. I listen to the main door close and hear the rumble of his engine before I drag myself down the hall to twist the locks in place again.

  I quickly decide that my morning is already off to a shitty start and can foresee the whole day going this way. I pick up my cell and scroll through the numbers, mentally psyching myself up to take the needed day to myself. My thumb hovers over Luis’ name while I catalog all the bills that still need to get paidthis month. I exhale a slow breath and let go of any thoughts to play hooky today. Frustrated, I grab my towel off the chair and head for the shower. If I’m not goin
g to call in sick, I may as well go in early.

  An hour later, my black hair is stick straight and pulled into a high ponytail on the top of my head. My Aerosmith t-shirt dress lightly grazes the black thigh-high boots on my feet, and it’s causing heads to turn. I’m oblivious to it although, as usual, because behind the bar I can zone out. Turning to the cash register,

  I pause when I hear Luis’ rumbling, “Here we go.”

  I whipped my head around and watch as Joey, Stone, and Antonio walked through the door and head to their favorite booth in the back. My chest squeezes with familiarity. I’ve seen this sight so many times before. My breath catches, waiting for Blake and Seth to join them. The minute the thought slips through my mind, it’s like a cold bucket of water being splashed on me.

  “Can you believe that?” Jenna questions right next to me and I jump in surprise.

  “What?” I ask, trying to think if she said anything else while my mind was in the past.

  “That,” Jenna says, pointing to where the guys are sitting. Molly is reaching over to grab the menu from the table, giving the guys a front row seat to her awesome rack. “Can she put it out there anymore?”

  I laugh. “I mean, she is a waitress. Sometimes for tips, you do what a girl’s gotta do. Plus they’re hot,” I tell her. Jenna’s face instantly reddens and her eyes narrow.

  “They’re not that hot.” She points her finger at me accusingly.

  “I thought you were over him,” I remind her, swatting her hand out of my face.

  “I am,” Jenna answers quickly. “It’s just, you know that girl thing, I’m over him, but I want him to know he missed out on a great thing.” She shrugs her shoulders.

  “You’re joking,” I say, questioningly.

  She rolls her eyes. “You can’t tell me, Blaise, that if Seth were here right now, you’d love nothing more than for your new hottie boyfriend to walk in the door and rub his face in it.”

  “Okay.” I hold up my finger. “One, you’re a little vindictive, and two Seth and I dated for a hot second in high school. We were always way better friends than anything else, and three… Jay is not my boyfriend.”

  She nods her head, grinning. “Sure. Did you tell him that?”

  “What are you talking about?” I ask her, pulling a blank look over my face.

  Jenna tips her head to the side, her hands slide to her waist. “He’s here all the time to see you and I know you leave with him at night sometimes.”

  “Stalker?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at her. I didn’t realize how many people were paying attention to what Jay and I were doing. He told me to act like we knew each other, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted to give off the vibe that we were dating. I felt on alert, the defensive side of myself pushing to the front.

  “Whatever, babe,” Jenna says, smirking before walking away to bring her table their drink order. I watch her go, swallowing past the cotton dryness in my mouth. Her words were eating at me and I didn’t know why.

  “Hey, Blaise,” Molly called next to me. “Can you run these beers to the guys? They wanted to talk to you,” she explains to me, lifting her shoulders before walking to the kitchen.

  “Ah.” My eyes shoot to their booth and sure enough they’re all looking at me, too. “Sure.”

  “I’ll watch the bar,” Jenna says, she’s next to me again leaning over to put her tray away.

  I make my way over to them, fighting to keep my face neutral. We haven’t talked since the night at Scar. I wasn’t avoiding them, there just never seemed to be an opportunity to see them.

  “Hey guys,” I say while placing the three Coronas in front of them. Some things never do change.

  “Hi, B,” Joey responds, giving me a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “How’ve you been?” I ask, forcing small talk and trying to act normal.

  “Busy,” Stone replies for them. I nod and smile.

  “How about you?” Toni asks, lifting an eyebrow. I don’t miss the way his brown eyes slide over me from head to toe.

  “Busy,” I answer, shrugging my shoulders. “The usual.” A look passed between the three of them.

  “Heard you know the new guy over at Rowley’s.” A smirk tugs at his lips. I feel my cheeks turning pink knowing they are referring to Jay.

  “Jarrod Knight or something?” Stone throws in. Confusion slides over my face before I can mask it. He’s watching me closely.

  “I just know him as Jay.” I clear my throat, trying to appear not affected. “I don’t really know him that well.”

  “Right,” Joey responds, laughing. I frown. “Oh come on, Blaise. Everyone has seen you together. He’s here almost every day to see you.”

  “We’re just hanging out,” I answered noncommittally, my mind still firing rapidly that Stone called Jay, Jarrod.

  “Okay.” Toni laughs.

  “Look,” I tell them, slinging my tray under my arm. “I don’t know what else to tell you. If all you called me over here for was to give me a hard time, fine, congrats. Can I go back to work now?” My eyes slide over each of them. Anger had seeped into my words on its own and I could tell they were bothered by it. Toni and Joey’s gazes fell to the table. When my gaze clashed with Stone’s, a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth.

  “Sorry, little B.” He shrugs. “We didn’t want to make you mad. If Blake were here, I think he’d be asking the same questions.”

  “He would have already been over to the garage and questioning him about his intentions,” Joey pipes in, grinning.

  “We just felt like we should watch over you in his place, Blaisey.” Toni’s voice cracks when he speaks. “Seems like he’s into you and we just wanted to feel you out about him.”

  Guilt slams into my chest.

  “I don’t really know him,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “I know he works part-time at Rowley’s and part-time at Sarge’s helping on the ranch.”

  “K,” Stone replies. His fingers graze over his chin. I keep my eyes averted, hoping he can’t read the bullshit in mine. “When is your shift over?”

  “At five,” I answer.

  “We’re heading to Marco’s tonight. Want to go with us?” Joey asks.

  I bite my lip. “I’m supposed to have dinner with Sarge and the family tonight.”

  “Oh, okay.” Joey shrugs before taking a drink from his glass.

  “Next time,” I tell them before giving it another thought. They all nod in agreement, which causes my chest to tighten in pain. I’ve heard them out about why they’ve been absent from my life for the past few months. I need to just accept it and get over it. A small part of me though treads back and forth feeling uneasy. The same part of me also warning me to be cautious with Jay or Jarrod, whatever the hell his name is. “I have to get back behind the bar. Next beer is on me, so let Molly know, okay?” I tell them, trying a genuine smile.

  “Will do, Blaise.” Stone nods his head. I walk briskly back to the bar, giving Luis an apologetic smile before making up the next drink ticket. My mind shuffles around my conversation with the guys. I don’t know if I’m more pissed or touched that they are asking about my supposed relationship with Jay. I can’t help feeling leery about Jay using a different name, and why he wouldn’t tell me about it? The more I’m around him I feel like I’m being set up for failure. There are too many questions and not nearly enough explanations.

  My shift flies by, my mind and my body both checked out on different tasks. The guys eventually leave, yet the uneasiness in my gut stays. When the clock reads four fifty-nine, I hand the cash register key over to my replacement and hand my receipts over to Luis.

  “Be right back,” he mumbles, heading back to his office to get the cash from my tips.

  “Ready to go?” a deep voice with an east coast accent asks right next to my ear, causing goosebumps to slide over my arms. My head whips around to face Jay, and I let my blank mask fall into place.

  “Jarrod, right?” I tease, lifting my brow and dragging
my gaze over him. I don’t miss the way his posture tightens and his jaw clenches before a shit-eating grin pulls his lips apart.

  “Let’s go, baby.” He drapes his arm across my shoulders. “Tomas, Pricilla, and the kids are waiting.”

  “Luis is grabbing my cash,” I tell him, trying to shrug his arm off. To my displeasure, this causes him to hold on to me tighter. Jay jogs away to the back office. Before I have the chance to blink again, he’s handing me a stack of cash.

  “Let’s go.” He grabs my wrist, pulling me behind him out through the sea of bodies toward the door. The minute the dry heat hits my face, I wrench my arm out of his grip.

  “What are you doing here?” I demand, my chest rising and falling while I attempt to keep my cool.

  Not fazed by my anger, Jay opens up the car door for me. “Get in and I’ll explain on the way.”

  We standoff outside the car, neither of us willing to give in. My gaze holds his and I can see his cool demeanor starting to slip.

  “Get the fuck in, Blaise,” he tells me between clenched teeth.

  Smirking, I move in closer until my lips are a breath away from his. To any onlookers, it would look like I’m going in for a kiss. Instead, I went in for the kill.

  “I’ll get in when I feel like it. And when I do, you will answer my questions or else I’m done helping you get any information. Okay, Jarrod?” I make sure my voice is as sweet as honey. His eyes meet mine and I’m not prepared for the emotional storm brewing in those dark depths. A flush creeps up his cheekbones and if he clenched his teeth any harder, I was sure that vein in the middle of his forehead would burst. He nods and I slip past him before sinking into the seat. My door slams shut next to me. My body shakes with the tension I’m holding onto. Every small step forward with him feels like twenty steps back. Jay folds himself into the car next to me and starts the engine. We don’t talk until the tires hit the asphalt road heading toward the Ramirez ranch.