Where Demons Hide

by A. M. Brooks

  “Spill,” I grit out, turning my body to face his. He glances at me before looking back at the road.

  “You really have so little faith in me?” he asks.

  I shrug. “I don’t really know you, Jarrod. I know you work for law enforcement and you’re supposedly investigating my brother’s death. But you lied about your name, so who knows what else you’re lying about.”

  “I’m not fucking lying about my name. My name is Jay McCall. Don’t believe me, here’s my phone. Call my mom and ask her. She’s a sweet little lady who lives in the Boston area in the same house I grew up in. I’m undercover on an important case involving one of my closest friends, your brother, so no, I’m not going to go around introducing myself with my real name to every possible criminal in the city.” He spews the words venomously, his cell phone chucked into my lap.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask again. “You knew I had plans tonight.”

  “You said you were going to Ramirez’s. I wanted to spend time with you,” he answers, his knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel.

  “I asked you to see me after and you got all weird about it,” I remind him.

  He shrugs. “Why is it so bad that I want to be with you? I don’t care if it’s at Señor Locos, your house, or the Ramirez’s.”

  “Why?” I wanted to know. “I think there’s more to this whole thing than you’re being honest about. People already think we’re dating so you being around all the time is already explainable.”

  He scoffs. “I don’t care what other people think. I’m working and I know what I have to do to close this case. I wasn’t planning on this though.” He sighs, sounding frustrated.

  “I don’t need you sticking to me,” I tell him. My voice sounding stronger than I feel right now.

  “Blaise,” Jay says my name while pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I like you, okay? This thing with us… has nothing to do with the case right now.”

  I’m speechless and he stops talking the last few miles before we hit the gravel road to the house. My cheeks flame and my heart is rioting around in my chest. I swallow past the lump that formed in my throat. Before I can completely compose myself, he stops the car in front of the house. We sit in silence before he grabs my hand from my lap. “I meant what I just said.” His jaw clenches and he holds my gaze hostage. “I have to lie to everyone else right now, and I’m fine with that if it means getting the information I need. I am Jarrod Knight to them. You get the truth. Even if you mess up and call me Jay accidentally, it sounds like a nickname for Jarrod.”

  “Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it,” I say, pulling my hand away.

  His hand shoots out, gripping my chin between his thumb and index finger, holding me in place. “I had to. It’s my job. If I don’t think twenty steps ahead, I could die.”

  Jay watches me intently, his gaze jumping all over my face trying to read me. I can’t stop the pang of guilt in my chest. I know I overreacted. Logically, I know he probably has more he can’t tell me and I’m not sure I would want to know even if he could. Tears sting my eyes and I fight to keep them at bay. There are too many emotions battling between us. Our past hangs above my head while the present seems like a game of Lava. One wrong step and you’re doomed.

  “How old are you, Jay?” My voice breaks, betraying me.

  “Twenty-seven,” he answers without hesitation.

  “Does that bother you?” I ask. Our age gap looms like an ever-present complication.

  “I think I should be the one asking you that.” He smirks. “I don’t care about your age, Blaise. You may only be eighteen, but you’ve experienced more than most people will in their lifetime. You’ve had to grow up when you should have been a kid. You have crazy good work ethic and you care about everyone, even to those who don’t deserve it.”

  I snort. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  He quirks his eyebrow. “Blaise, if you didn’t care, it wouldn’t bother you so much that your mom is never home.”

  “How—”

  “Work hazards. I notice more than is necessary sometimes.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but it is. My head hangs down, trying to hide my embarrassment. Of course, she’s never home. She’s never been the parent we needed. Instead of holding us closer, she pushed us away when our dad left. I remember her screaming at Blake when we were little and had our first visit from CPS. She blamed everything on him, including our dad leaving.

  “Hey,” he whispers, his hands now hold my face and I’m forced to look at him again, “None of that is your fault. It wasn’t Blake’s either. You guys got dealt a shitty hand with parents. And it’s normal to still care because she is your mom. You’re grieving… for Blake and for her.”

  “We should go inside,” I say, breaking the silence. I’ve had enough of the emotions talk. A sad smile tugs at Jay’s mouth, but he nods anyway. I launch myself out of his car, practically sprinting to the front door. Before I can knock, the heavy slab of wood swings open.

  “‘Bout time,” Sarge says sarcastically. “I was about ready to shine my flashlight on you out there, but Pricilla told me to give you time.”

  “Sorry, Sarge,” I tell him, feeling the blush stain my cheeks.

  “My fault,” Jay says, walking in right behind me. His hand lingers on my back and I know Sarge can see the gesture. “I was begging for forgiveness in advance before I leave tomorrow.”

  “Heading back already?” Sa asks. They continue on with their conversation, oblivious that I’ve gone completely still. My head hurts from all the surprise bombs being dropped tonight. I can’t wait to get back in the car again.

  Dinner passes by agonizingly slow. If it wasn’t for Pricilla’s enchiladas, and Nico and Katy’s stories, the whole night would have been pure torture. Jay must sense my restlessness because he has kept a grip on my knee all night. This time I’m ready before Jay even turns the keys in the ignition.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’re leaving?”

  “I just found out this morning. That’s why I was mad you had plans tonight. I took off from the garage early to go to dinner with you.”

  “Are you coming back?” The one question that has been plaguing me since dinner.

  “What?” His head whips to look at me before back at the road, “Yes. I’m just going to chase a lead. I’ll be back Monday or Tuesday, depending on what I find.”

  “Oh,” I say, my shoulders sagging in relief. “Can you tell me about it?”

  “No,” he answers while grabbing my hand with his. “Not yet. When I’m absolutely sure, I’ll share, but right now I can’t. Please trust me, Blaise.” I squeeze his hand in response. I hate being left in the dark. I want to know his secrets.

  We’re quiet the rest of the way back to my place, just the sounds of Red’s “Coming Apart” floating in the space around us. Jay parks in the empty spot and I realize I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Not even for appearances sake and I suddenly feel the exhaustion.

  “Are you coming in?” I ask, hating how my voice sounds and praying he doesn’t think I’m clingy now.

  “I wish I could.” His fingers reach out and pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear, the slight touch causes chills across my neck. “I have to head out now to get to the air space in time.”

  “Air space, huh?” I try laughing to ease the sadness.

  “Yeah,” he responds before stepping closer. My breath sucks in when his hands wrap around my back, pulling my body against his. “Be safe, okay?” he asks, attempting to smile.

  “I think that’s my line,” I tell him before laying my cheek against his chest. I hear the strong beat of his heart through his thin grey t-shirt. He laughs and the sound vibrates through his whole chest.

  “I’ll be fine,” he tells me before laying his head on top of mine. Time slides by while we stand there holding each other. I’ve never felt so comfortable being held by someone, but in Jay’s arms, everything was peaceful again.


  “I’ll call you when I can,” he tells me before leaning down to touch his lips to mine. I nod, causing our mouths to brush.

  “Okay,” I breathe out and inhale him in again. “I’ll miss you.”

  His body stills for a moment before a smile touches his lips. When his body detangles from mine, I feel cold. Jay waits for me to get up to my door and get inside. Before the last deadbolt slides into place, I hear his engine rev to life then fades away.

  The apartment is dark, except for the overhead light in the kitchen. From memory, I make my way to my room and drop to my bed. The silence is thick in the room. I’m alone again. A ping from my phone causes me to jump in surprise. I smile, wondering if Jay is regretting that he didn’t stay now. I swipe my passcode and bring my messages up. Three words and my heart plunges into my stomach. My hand shakes while I slide my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself.

  Unknown: DON’T TRUST ANYONE

  Seventy-two hours passed since I received that ominous text. Seventy-two hours where I did not sleep, watched my back, and kept my head down. Seventy-two hours where I tried relentlessly to text the person back only to receive a message that my messages failed to send. Every call and message to Jay went unanswered. I would have thought he’d be jumping at the bit to hear about this, but he ghosted. I even dug so low as to attempt calling Antonio, Stone and Joey only to find out they were working in Vegas and weren’t around either. Chills zipped down my spine when I realized they were all gone at the same time and whoever sent that text had to have known this.

  Jay said he’d be back Monday, Tuesday at the latest, and it was now Thursday night. My nerves were strung tight. My eyes were bloodshot from my lack of sleep and I still had to get through my next shift at Locos. I was agitated and my old friend isolation had settled back into my heart. I was alone, like always, only now someone was watching me. Today should have been my day off, instead I picked up a dinner shift for a server whose baby got sick and she didn’t have daycare. My body was running purely on autopilot.

  I heard him before I saw him, Joey’s laugh would make anyone stop and look. I freeze as all three of them and Sarge came filing in through the door. My mind spins while my jaw drops open in shock. I have to be hallucinating.

  “B!” Toni yells before hitting his hands against the bar. “Just the person we’re looking for.”

  I pull back, blinking a few times to make sure I’m seeing things clearly. When my eyes clear Stone, Toni, Joey, and Sarge are all watching me. Smiles on the other three’s faces while Sarge looks a little apprehensive.

  “Why are you looking for me?” I ask as I turn to face Toni, trying to keep my posture relaxed.

  “We’re going to Scar tonight, want to come with us?” Toni asks, his face lighting up.

  “Thought we could talk about that text you sent us,” Stone adds, shrugging. My heart lurches.

  “Maybe?” I turn back to Toni, answering. “Depends on how busy we get tonight.”

  “Sounds good, Blaisey,” Joey says, tapping on the bar.

  “What can I help you with Sarge?” I ask him, trying to find a smile.

  “Just a water for me, Blaise. I’m just waiting on Jarrod. I need to bring the receipts in from the hay haul I sent him on.”

  I still again, before nodding. I’m probably supposed to know this was their cover story. All the lies being told are starting to add up. I glance at the guys through my lashes, but they’re not paying any attention to me.

  “I forgot he got back today,” I reply, the words feel like sawdust in my mouth. I didn’t know shit and I wonder if Sarge knew that.

  “He got back last night,” he replies, and I catch him wincing. My hand freezes with the ice scoop halfway in the bucket. While I was panicking by myself all night, Jay had been back in town. I grit my jaw before handing the glass of water to Sarge.

  “Probably didn’t want to wake me,” I respond, playing my part and playing along.

  “We’ll take that table over there,” Sarge says, backing away to the closest booth. I nod again before placing a tray of mugs into the washer. My insides are screaming.

  “When did you get back?” I ask Stone, passing their beers to them.

  “About an hour ago,” he responds, handing the beers out. “Stopped here first to eat, then we’ll get cleaned up and catch a few z’s until we need to leave.”

  “Eleven again?” I ask him and he nods. I’m about to respond when his eyes slide past me and fixate on the door. I don’t have to look to know what caught his attention. The hairs on my exposed neck rise and burning awareness slide through my veins. I hate his effect on me right now. My cheeks flush with anger.

  “Catch you later?” Stone asks me, and I nod.

  “I’ll be there,” I confirm now that I’ve made up my mind. Like hell am I going to sit around and wait for Jay to decide when he can be in my life, and when he can’t.

  “Hey.” Jay’s voice carries from where he’s now standing by the bar. My gaze flings to his, taking in his appearance. He looks freshly showered and flawless as if he had a great night of sleep. Meanwhile, I look like the doped up version of Cruella De Ville.

  “What can I get you?” I ask him, my lips forming a smile and the sweet little server voice rolls off my tongue. I’m determined not to give Jay any of my time.

  His jaw clenches. “Can I talk to you?”

  I tilt my head to the side. “I’m working right now.”

  “After work?” he tries again.

  “I have plans,” I tell him, shrugging my shoulders. “Better put your order in, Sarge said he’s waiting for you,” I tell him, nodding to the booth. Jay’s eyes never leave me. Blood races through me knowing I’m the main focus of his attention.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he says quiet enough that only my ears catch it. “I need to talk to you.”

  Not fazed by his caveman act, I shrug my shoulders again. “I’m busy,” I repeat, holding up the new drink ticket in front of me. He nods, his hand sliding into his pockets.

  “I’ll come back later,” he tells me before heading over to the booth with Sarge.

  “We’ll see,” I mumble to myself. He might be back later, but I have no intentions of being here when he does.

  The next few hours are fast-paced and I’m flying high on adrenaline. My senses kick up when the guys leave, calling out that they’ll see me later, and they left a generous tip. I’m aware that Sarge and Jay heard them leave. Jay’s gaze practically burns holes in my back as I continue shuffling around the bar. Not long after, Sarge and Jay get up to leave. I’m not surprised as they both head toward me.

  “You doing okay?” Sarge asks, and I feel his concern. I’m sure by now Jay has told him that I blew up his phone while he was gone.

  I shrug. “It is, what it is,” I tell him. I feel bad holding back on Sarge. I know he’s helping Jay and probably has his heart in the right place. I should have called him, but I didn’t. I never want to be the reason anything bad could happen to anyone.

  He nods, his face looks grim. “We’d love to have you over again this week for dinner.”

  I smile. “I’ll let you know once Luis puts out the new schedule.”

  “Adios,” he says, tilting his hat before leaving.

  “What time are you done?” Jay asks.

  “I might close,” I tell him noncommittally.

  “Blaise.” He bites my name out. The muscles in his forearms ripple under the flannel button-up, and his anger flashes across his face.

  “Not right now, Jarrod,” I warn him. We’re at an impasse and I refuse to break first. With a shake of his head, he turns and leaves without a word. I let go of the breath I had been holding when I catch Luis watching me.

  “What?” I ask him, all my anger gone, and I feel deflated again.

  “You worked seven days in a row, kid. Go home,” he tells me.

  “I’m filling in since you’re down a server, remember?” I laugh.

  “I can
cover the bar. You need to rest. You’re scaring my customers.” He nods to old man Mitchel at the end of the bar, who holds his hands up in surrender when I shoot my gaze to him.

  “I filled your drink every time,” I tell him, hiding the laughter in my voice. Mitchel was a regular and never complained about anyone.

  “You want me to leave that badly?” I ask Luis, wringing my hand on the towel. In all the years I’ve worked for him, Luis has never sent me home. His features soften and concern seeps into his eyes.

  “You’re a hard worker, Blaise, but even I know right now you need a break. Go home and sleep,” he tells me, shrugging.

  “You sure?” I ask again before grabbing my bag from under the bar. He nods.

  I don’t wait for him to change his mind. Now that I know Jay and the guys are back, my body is ready to shut down. I make it to my car and somehow I make it home. I don’t remember the drive, my muscle memory doing all the work for me. My bed welcomes me like a tight hug pulling me in.

  Sweat has gathered on my neck as I unwind myself from my blanket. An annoying buzz still pounding in my ears. I rub my eyes, feeling disoriented, unsure of the time and what day it is. My hand reaches for the phone under my pillow just as the vibrations stop.

  5 missed calls Jay

  15 messages

  My eyes are wide awake now. It’s five past eleven when I was supposed to leave. Ignoring the missed calls, I go through my texts and open the two from Toni.

  Jay: (10)

  Stone: …

  Joe:…

  Toni: Stone said you’re coming tonight?

  I can pick you up. On my way now ;)

  Jenna: ….

  “Shit!” I quickly jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. My hair is a disaster and gross, drool is dried to the corner of my lip. “Lovely,” I whisper to myself before grabbing a washcloth and scrubbing my face and neck. Running back to my room, I whip off Jay’s t-shirt I had fallen asleep in, before pulling on my favorite pair of fishnet tights, destroyed jean shorts, and black crop top sweater. My phone now reads ten after eleven and Toni will be here any minute. I quickly tip my head over and gather all my hair up into a messy ponytail on top of my head. I grab my favorite mascara off the dresser, fixing what I had put on earlier. My feet slide into my black combat boots right as there is a knock on the front door.