This Ain't Love: MC Romance (BDMC: Second Generation Book 1)

by A. M. Myers

  “Yeah, I’m coming.”

  She forces a smile to her face and releases my cut before swatting my thigh with her hand. “Get going. I’ve got plans for you for later.”

  “Oh?” I ask, unable to stop the salacious grin from spreading across my face and she laughs despite the tears still shining in her eyes. My fucking chest aches as I hook my hand around the back of her neck and pull her closer, claiming her lips with my own. She whimpers, grabbing my arm as she almost melts into me and I smile into our kiss, feeling like a king once again. But that’s how it is whenever I manage to make this woman turn into a puddle at my feet.

  I pull back before going back in for a few more quick kisses and when I’m done, I pull her into my chest and brush her ear with my lips.

  “I love you, Isabelle.”

  She sucks in a breath and her body shudders.

  “You’d better be in bed, naked, when I get back,” I warn and she pulls away, her tears long gone and a wide smile on her face as she nods.

  “Don’t make me wait too long.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Storm calls from the front door, irritation saturating his voice. “Can we fucking go, please?”

  “Go.” Izzy laughs, smacking my hip to send me on my way. I reluctantly release her and wink before turning toward the door and my pissed off president. He shakes his head as I reach him, turning toward the door and shoving it open.

  “I know I wasn’t that fucking annoying when I first started sleeping with Ali.”

  I laugh. “No. You were worse.”

  “How would you even fucking know?” he asks, fighting back a laugh. “You were still a cop back then.”

  “I’ve heard the stories,” I remind him as we reach our bikes and he scoffs as he throws his leg over the seat of his.

  “Bikers are a gossipy bunch of bitches.” He slams his helmet on his head as I climb on my bike and any more of his insults are drowned out by the roar of engines as we start our bikes. Storm takes the lead out of the compound and I trail behind him as we turn out onto the open road. The wind whips through my hair and the vibration of the machine erases all of my problems for a few moments. I soak it up, breathing in the calm of nothing else but me and my bike as we make our way across town to Luca’s apartment. My mind drifts, just like the road beneath my bike, from what Izzy will have waiting for me when I get home to thoughts of taking her out on the bike with me once the baby is born and we put all this other shit behind us. God, how amazing will it be to just be with her without the threat of death hanging over our heads?

  This life - it’s one I’ve wanted for the longest time and I’m so fucking close I can taste it. The fact that she didn’t freak when I told her I loved her is a good sign and despite my frustration and her stubbornness, maybe she really is coming around. She still hasn’t opened up to me about her past but I’m more confident than ever that she will in her own time. She’s been carrying around a hell of a lot of pain for a long time and I know that shit isn’t easy to let go of. Lord knows I still have plenty of my own pain to deal with but being with her makes it easier to face and easier to let go of. How could I possibly hang onto the past when I’ve got a life with her to look forward to? As far as I’m concerned, the possibilities are endless and when I think about the future, I see it all for us. There’s a wedding and more babies and the family I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.

  Shit.

  I just really hope that I’m not getting ahead of myself.

  By the time we pull up in front of Luca’s apartment, I’ve managed to second-guess all my decisions a few times over but I shove it all away, focusing on the task at hand. I wouldn’t say I’m scared of Luca because as far as I can tell, he seems like a dumbass but his actions have been a little unhinged at times and that part does worry me.

  “What’s the plan here?” Storm asks as he sit on our bikes behind the truck Gear and Hawk are sitting in. I glance up at the window to Luca’s apartment and sigh.

  “I want to push him to lead us to whoever he’s working for but I’m just not sure how to do that yet.”

  Storm nods, pointing to the truck. “Let’s check in with them.”

  We climb off our bikes and approach the driver’s side window as it rolls down. Hawk nods to us from behind the wheel.

  “How is it going, fellas?” I ask and Hawk nods, grabbing his phone off of the seat next to him, showing us the photo Izzy identified back at the clubhouse.

  “This the guy we’re looking for?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “He was here earlier and left about thirty minutes ago,” Gear informs us. “Jump said Streak is tracking down his information so we should have that soon.”

  “Good. Anything else?”

  Hawk shakes his head, his eyes intense as he stares up at the apartment. “Nope. Fucker doesn’t really do much of anything.”

  “You think he’s being instructed to lay low?” Gear asks, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet up on the dash and Hawk shoots him a glare. I shrug, turning to look at the apartment on the third floor.

  “Makes sense. We need to push him though, get him to lead us to whoever he’s working for.”

  Hawk glances over at us. “You need anything from us?”

  “Naw,” Storm says, shaking his head. “You guys just hang out here and we’ll handle it.”

  They nod and I turn to my president as Hawk rolls the window back up. Storm motions for me to follow him and we jog across the street before walking into the dingy lobby. The old linoleum looks like it might have been white at one point in it’s history but it’s stained a nasty yellow now and my boots stick to it as we turn toward the stairs.

  “Fucking disgusting.”

  I nod in agreement. “You got a plan for this?”

  “No,” he answers, letting out a humorless laugh. “I was just kind of gonna wing it.”

  “Our fearless leader, ladies and gentlemen,” I quip and he snorts, rolling his eyes as he gives me a half-hearted shove.

  “Asshole.”

  We climb the stairs in silence, ascending quickly and when we get to the third floor, I peek around the corner to make sure the hallway is clear before we step forward.

  “What apartment?” Storm asks, his voice barely above a whisper as we creep down the hallway. I point to the door with the number three-oh-one painted on it and he nods.

  “We just going to knock?”

  He shrugs, letting out a laugh. “Sure.”

  Jesus Christ.

  We’re so fucking unorganized it’s not even funny.

  We reach the door and I pound my fist against the wood, squaring my shoulders as I wait for Luca to answer and half expecting him not to. Hell, if he was watching us down on the street, he’s probably going to greet us with a gun in his hand and we should take up better positions if we want to make it out of here. Before I can relay any of that to Storm, the door swings open and Luca looks up at us with wide eyes.

  “Fuck,” he hisses, trying to shove the door closed in our faces but I manage to get my foot in front of it, stopping him from going any further. Storm and I push our way into the apartment and I turn to Luca as Storm closes the door behind us. This is the guy who has Izzy so scared she barely wants to leave the compound? He’s a fucking punk and that’s being generous.

  “Hey, Luca,” I bite out, vivid fantasies of wrapping my hands around his throat playing out in my mind. “How’s it going?”

  Blinking wildly like he can somehow make us disappear, he takes a step back into his nasty little kitchen and glances down at the gun on the table. Storm clears his throat behind me.

  “I wouldn’t.”

  Glancing back, I smile at the sight of the gun in his hand before turning back to Luca and cocking my head to the side, waiting for an answer to my question.

  “What the fuck do you want?” he hisses and I grin.

  “Shit. I’m so fucking glad you asked, pal.” I take a step toward him as the smile melts off my f
ace. “I want to know who the fuck you’re working for.”

  His gaze flicks to the gun in Storm’s hand and he takes another step back as he turns back to me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t play stupid,” Storm growls and Luca’s face hardens, all the false bravado he can muster making his chest puff out.

  “You seriously think I’m going to tell you that?” He laughs. “You guys are so out of your fucking league.”

  “Who is it?’ I snarl, eyeing the burner phone on the counter to my left. If I can distract him long enough, I might be able to swipe it. I’m sure Streak would love to get his hands on it and see who Luca has been communicating with. Luca takes a step toward me, his eyes gleaming, and Storm flicks the safety off on his pistol, stopping the little shit in his tracks. He flashes me a smile.

  “Your little cunt is as good as dead whether I’m the one that kills her or he sends someone else to do it.”

  It’s all the excuse I need and I cock my arm back, slamming it into his stupid face with all the power and rage I can muster. He goes down hard, smacking his head on the floor and while he’s distracted, I swipe the phone off the counter, slipping it into my pocket. Once it’s secured, I stalk toward him and plant my feet on either side of his body as I grab his shirt and haul him up.

  “That is not going to happen and if I ever see your face again, I will take you out into the woods and blood eagle your stupid ass. You know what that is?”

  He shakes his head and I grin.

  “I’d start by slicing your skin all along your spine before peeling the flesh back to reveal your ribs. Then, I’d use an axe to separate your ribs from your spine and pull them away so they protrude from your back…”

  He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay. I fucking get it.”

  “Good,” I snap, dropping him back onto the floor and walking back over to Storm who is watching him with disgust. “Between me and your pissed off boss, I’d think about getting out of town, Luca.”

  He doesn’t say anything else, flashing me a snarl that I meet with a grin. During this entire investigation, I have felt like we were treading water but for the first time, things are moving forward and I know I will do whatever it takes to put an end to this so Izzy and I can start our lives together. Leaving him on the floor, Storm and I walk out of the apartment and down the stairs to the front door. Once we step outside, he turns to me and shakes his head.

  “Where in the fuck did you hear about that blood eagle thing?”

  I grin, shrugging as we walk back to our bikes. “Izzy and I have been watching Vikings to pass the time.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I think he was about to piss himself when you were describing that.”

  “That was kind of the point.”

  He nods. “I suppose. You think it’ll work?”

  “Probably not but it doesn’t matter,” I answer as I pull the stolen phone out of my pocket and show it to him. He laughs.

  “Oh, so that’s what you jacked off the counter.”

  “Yep,” I answer, slipping the phone back into my pocket as we reach the bikes. “I figure Streak is going to have a lot of fun with that.”

  As he swings his leg over his bike, he snorts out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “You’re probably going to make him cream in his pants when you show him that.”

  “On second thought, maybe you should give it to him.”

  “Not a fucking chance, asshole,” he quips, shaking his head and I laugh as I climb on my bike. The engine fires to life beneath me and a thrill skates up my spine, bringing a smile to my face. Things are finally looking up and for the first time in years, it feels like I can finally look forward to the future without any fear or reservations. Now, I just have to get Izzy to that place, too.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Isabelle

  My hands are shaking and there is an aching emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Staring out at the city from the passenger seat of Diego’s truck, my mind spins, trying to come up with the perfect way to say what I need to say to him, the correct way to frame it and explain myself but nothing feels quite right. It’s why, over the past ten days, I’ve hyped myself up and talked my wary heart into having this conversation with him so many times, only to change my mind and back out at the last minute. But I’m so tired of having this hanging over us. Saying what I need to say to him is going to suck and it’s going to hurt like hell but I just need to get it over with. I’m not doing either one of us any favors by keeping it to myself and when it’s done, we can decide how we want to move forward.

  “Take the next right,” I instruct, pointing to the street coming up. My voice sounds weird, like me but also not like me at all and I rub my hands down my skirt as I take a deep breath. Diego glances over at me as he turns, his brow furrowed and worry etched into his expression.

  “What the hell is going on, Iz? Where are we going?”

  I point to the open space up ahead, nestled in between rundown apartment buildings. “It’s just up there.”

  “Mama, I don’t know if it’s safe to be out here,” he warns, scanning the street and I nod. One good thing about all my freaking out is that I haven’t had the mental capacity to focus on Luca or what he might be up to which has been a relief. Diego informs me of the progress they’re making with the case but things haven’t been moving as quickly as he would like and all seems to be quiet at the moment so it hasn’t been able to hold my focus.

  “We’re not getting out of the truck.”

  He scoffs as he pulls up to the little dilapidated park. “Well, that’s something, I guess. You ready to tell me what the hell is going on?”

  “I need a second,” I whisper, closing my eyes. A wave of nausea washes over me and I suck in a breath as I let the memories fill my mind, taking me back to a time in my life that almost killed me. A knot forms in my belly and tears sting my eyes as I let myself fall back into the pain that made me who I am today. Finally, I meet Diego’s gaze. “You still want to know what happened to me?”

  He nods. “Yes, but not while you’re over there.”

  “Diego, I’m thirty-one weeks pregnant and this cab is not that big. I don’t think I can climb into your lap right now,” I protest and while it might be true, it’s not why I won’t go to him like every cell in my body is begging me to do. I just know if I let him touch me, if I let him hold me, the floodgates will open and I won’t be able to get them shut again until I’ve cried my weight in tears. I promised myself I would be strong through this, that I would put on a brave face and battle my demons with all the courage I pretend to have most days but I’m not sure I’m going to make it.

  “Like I give a shit,” he growls, scooting closer to me when he realizes that I’m going to be defiant. When he gets to the middle of the seat, he reaches for me and I know he’s going to try to lift me into his lap so I back away from him and shake my head.

  “Please, Diego… I’ll sit next to you but I can’t get through this if you hold me.”

  His brows knit together. “Okay, baby.”

  “Okay,” I answer, turning in the seat to face him as I suck in a breath. God, I don’t know where to start…

  I glance out at the park as the memories bombard me, dragging me down into a well of pain I tend to avoid like the plague.

  “Hey,” he whispers, grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers through mine, dragging my gaze back to his. “You can do this.”

  I nod, looking down at our hands. “My mom met my dad when she was waitressing at this crappy little diner over in New Orleans. He was a musician and he came in one night with his band after they got done playing a show. Mom said the chemistry between them was explosive and… well, I’m sure you can guess what happened next. He had the whole rock star personality and she said being around him was like staring at the sun. His life was crazy but she jumped in with both feet and fell head over heels in love with him.”

  I look up at the
park again as pain swells in my chest.

  “And then she got pregnant. It was an accident and not something either of them wanted at the time but my mother refused to get an abortion which left my dad with two options - walk away from the woman he loved and his child or man up and do what needed to be done. He chose the latter and they got married a month later.”

  “That sounds like a good thing, Iz,” he whispers, pressing his free hand to my cheek and I nod, wishing that were the case.

  “You would think but this is just the beginning of the story, Diego.”

  He nods for me to continue.

  “I think they were happy, at least for a little while, but becoming a husband and father wasn’t a path my dad saw for himself. He couldn’t accept that his life had changed and his dream was gone so he became bitter. All of my early memories as a child involve him getting so drunk that he couldn’t even stand just to deal with the disappointment that his life had become and he never missed an opportunity to tell me or my mother how much he hated us and how much we had ruined his life. That’s all I ever knew from him - hatred. My mother… she tried to make up for his behavior, tried to be the best that she could be so that maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up but she was just as broken as I was.”

  As I glance up at him, I squeeze his hand and he nods because he can see how history is repeating itself for both of us as I reveal more of my past to him.

  “Shortly after my second birthday, my father got drunk one night and forced himself on my mother - something she revealed to me when I was older - and she got pregnant again with my sister, Alexandria. Things got a whole lot worse after she was born. My father was even more bitter than he’d been before and he started throwing things around the house and smashing his fist into walls when his vile words weren’t strong enough to express his rage.”

  “You were so young, baby,” he says, his hands twitching to reach out and pull me into his arms but I appreciate that he is holding himself back. “You can’t possibly remember all that.”