Behind The Baron's Mask: A Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 1)

by Penny Fairbanks

  Cecilia could have sworn that her heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second. She reread the words several times, so rapidly that they became a jumbled mess before her eyes. The tears that welled up obscured her vision and she set the remaining pages down next to her on the bed with trembling hands. She had read for hours and was long past due for a break.

  “This cannot be…” she whimpered. But she knew there could be no other explanation.

  She had heard that phrase spoken twice before, nearly word for word as it was written here.

  The first had been at the Henshells’ masked ball when she danced with her mystery gentleman. The second had been when she danced with Lord Neil. And here it appeared again, in this unpublished installment of the adventure series.

  Though Cecilia’s mind felt as though it swam through a fog, there was one fact that shone bright enough for her to follow.

  Lord Neil, the masked gentleman, and the anonymous author were one and the same.

  Not only did that phrase appear in the book, but Cecilia did not think it a coincidence that there were many striking similarities between herself and the new heroine who accompanied the hero on this adventure. In fact, several scenes and conversations in the story closely followed her own experiences with Lord Neil.

  The baron’s extreme inclination to remain in his library or study made far more sense now that Cecilia knew he likely spent much of his time writing the increasingly popular series.

  But the fact that Lord Neil had been her masked man shook Cecilia to her core. That truth she’d felt in her heart—though she’d been too doubtful of herself to follow it—had been correct all along. Somewhere deep inside her she’d known that such a connection as the one she’d felt with that mystery man and the one she felt in Lord Neil’s presence could only come from the same source.

  How often had Cecilia caught herself gazing into space, thinking about whiling away the hours of a slow, relaxing day in Lord Neil’s library, perhaps having her sister or Rosamund over for a companionable dinner in the baron’s dining room? Too many times to count, Cecilia knew.

  Her heart ached with a deep pain she’d never known before, with the realization that all those daydreams could have been reality. Perhaps Lord Neil had shared those same daydreams as well.

  In fact, he had cared for her enough to recreate her in his fictional world, or at least use her as inspiration.

  Perhaps, if she had encouraged him more during their time together…. But she had been too distracted with her pianoforte troubles and pining after the mystery gentleman. She could have changed the course of both their futures.

  For Cecilia loved him.

  Of that she was now certain. She had been certain for longer than she realized. But it had felt too presumptuous to put it into words.

  Lord Neil truly was everything she had dreamed of since she was a little girl, imagining walking down the aisle to a man she loved, becoming a wife to someone she could have genuine, deep conversation with, someone who understood her and loved her.

  And now it was too late. What could she say to him if she stood before him again? Would he believe that her parents had forced her into these new courtships? Would he believe that she thought he had grown tired of her? Would he even allow her near enough, after witnessing the scene in the park, and grant her the opportunity to explain herself?

  All Cecilia could see over and over again in her mind’s eye was the ashen expression on the baron’s face, and that expression told her that any hope she may have had was as good as dust.

  Cecilia tucked the manuscript under her covers and reached for the service bell. Violet gasped when she entered the room. Cecilia must have looked a mess, but that was the very least of her troubles now.

  “Miss Richards! What’s happened?” Violet cried out as she picked up her skirts and ran to the bed. She settled a hand on Cecilia’s arm and she collapsed under the gentle touch, curling up amongst her blankets.

  “Tell Juliet that I need to see her at once. Speak of this to no one else.” Her breath stuttered as she spoke and she wasn’t sure if enough coherent sound had come out for Violet to understand her.

  But the maid swallowed, her eyes determined, sensing the urgency of Cecilia’s request. She nodded once and flew out of the room.

  Cecilia was left to her own tortured thoughts again. Her heart felt as though it were being torn apart slowly and methodically, by some evil creature who wished to prolong her suffering for as long as possible.

  The baron had had feelings for her. He may have even loved her. Perhaps she could cling to that knowledge for however long she lived and it could sustain her through whatever bleak future there was in store for her.

  Or perhaps that knowledge would slowly destroy her—knowing what could have been, how close she’d been to having the miraculous love she’d always dreamed of, with the most miraculous man she would ever meet.

  Thinking of the future now, the years seemed to stretch forward into a cold, pitch black eternity, the only light that could have illuminated her path extinguished.

  Chapter 16

  Henry heard the knock on his front door from his study. It was rapid but firm. Urgent. It was almost too early for proper morning calls to be made, and Solomon rarely ever called this early.

  His pen stilled over the page and he strained his ears to listen, but all he could make out were muffled voices in the foyer. He recognized the lower timbre of his butler’s voice, but the other voice was unfamiliar, high pitched. Now Henry really had no idea who could be calling on him unannounced at this hour.

  A few moments passed as the voices continued to deliberate back and forth, but the butler’s footsteps finally sounded through the hallway.

  “My lord, you have a visitor...” His face was red but Henry couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or anger.

  “And who might this visitor be?”

  “I think you had best come and see for yourself.”

  A curious apprehension gripped Henry as he slowly stood from his desk and proceeded out to the foyer.

  “Miss Juliet!” He shouted, unable to contain his shock. “What on Earth are you doing here?”

  Miss Juliet Richards turned around at the sound of his voice and fixed him with a determined stare, her pale blue eyes icy. The set of her jaw, the way she held her head high and clasped her hands in front of her somehow gave the impression that she was ready for battle.

  “I know what I am doing is extremely uncouth. If anyone asks, you may tell them that I visited on some sort of business. I tried to be as discreet as possible but if anyone saw me let out here with only a footman I’m sure I will be banished from Society by end of day.

  “But in truth I do not give a fig about my reputation when my sister’s heart is on the line. You must hear me out, Lord Neil. Please.”

  Only that last word betrayed the young woman’s desperation. Whatever she wished to speak with him about must be of the utmost importance if she would risk coming to a man’s home and ruining her standing in Society. If anyone should find out about this visit, and doubt the excuse she’d readily provided, Miss Juliet would be branded fast and jeered out of town.

  “C-Come this way,” Henry stammered, urging the scarlet in his cheeks to dissipate. As completely outside of the realm of decorum as this situation was, he knew that it was serious. Rules could be set aside for a few minutes, though he hoped for the young lady’s sake that whatever was about to transpire would go undetected so she could remain untarnished.

  Once in the drawing room, Henry waved his hand to a chair for his unexpected guest.

  “No thank you. I should like to stand and face this head on.” Miss Juliet took her position in the middle of the room, staring at Henry almost as if to dare him to back away.

  “As you wish.” Henry nodded with respect. Whatever anyone else might say about Miss Juliet’s actions, there was no denying that she was an exceedingly brave young woman. “How may I be of assistance?”

&n
bsp; “You can undo the pain you’ve caused my sister,” she demanded through gritted teeth. Her voice wavered with buried tears but her face remained cool and resolved.

  Henry bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. He could no longer look this audacious lady in the eye. He dropped his head and mumbled, “There is nothing else in this world I would rather do, but I cannot. The situation is complicated.”

  Miss Juliet snorted and glared at Henry. He took a half step back in surprise.

  “You claim it is complicated yet you are the one causing the complications. It seems you’ve made a decision that not only affects yourself, but Cecilia as well. How is that fair? How can you banish her from you without any explanation, without giving her a chance to consider the situation?”

  Henry’s skin prickled. He hadn’t considered that by making this choice he was also taking the power of choice away from someone else.

  “I simply didn’t want to entrap her or allow my own personal obligations to suffer. But why have you come to me about this? I cannot imagine that your sister even wishes to have anything to do with me now.”

  “Cecilia received your delivery yesterday. The one you asked Lord Overton to pass to me to pass to her. It seems she’s discovered a great deal about you through that parcel. And that discovery has made her miserable.”

  Henry blanched. “I—I never expected that my delivery would leave such an impression. And besides, I’m sure you know she’s accepted other suitors. I saw her at the park just yesterday only hours after you received the package from Lord Overton. She seemed very happy with her companion. I cannot blame her for enjoying her life.”

  He kept his eyes down as he spoke, tracing the flourishing patterns on the rug. Everything from shame to dejection mingled into a nauseating rumble in Henry’s stomach.

  The young woman sighed and Henry looked up to see some of the tension deflate her proud and hardened form. “This is quite the predicament you two have landed yourselves in,” she muttered, shaking her head as though she’d just caught two schoolchildren stuck in a tree. “Lord Neil, I cannot express to you how devastated Cecilia has been since you stopped calling. She's tried to bear it as bravely as she can, especially in those early days. She assumed you must be busy and hadn’t had a chance to visit.

  “But watching that hope and expectation fade from her eyes.... This was a cruel thing to do, my lord. Cecilia told me of your gift and the conclusion she came to. I cannot say I understand why you have abandoned her with a few sentences and a book. You see, she was more upset last night than I’ve ever seen her. She realized that you were trying to say goodbye even as she realized that you’re the one she’s been searching for.”

  Miss Juliet’s voice was quiet and pained, and it cut Henry to his core. His knees felt weak and for a moment he thought he might be sick from the guilt.

  He had never, ever wanted to hurt the woman he had come to love. He never expected that she would be so affected by his silence. He thought he’d done the right thing, he thought he was protecting her. But it seemed he’d made a grave error. The thought of Miss Richards weeping in her bed, confused and crushed, made Henry wish he’d never stepped foot on this Earth. How could he have done such a terrible thing, especially to someone as undeserving as Miss Richards?

  “But what of the man I saw her riding with? She smiled so pleasantly at him and seemed to enjoy his company. I cannot deny that she appeared completely unaffected by what transpired between us...”

  The younger Richards sister gave a wry laugh. Her eyes were cold again, but Henry could tell that he wasn’t the cause this time. “My sister is a woman of many talents, not the least of which includes pandering to etiquette when required to do so. If you saw any smiles on her face yesterday, it was all a polite façade.

  “I spoke with her just after she returned home from that outing. She had next to nothing to say about the gentleman she’d accompanied. She did, however, mention the way you looked at her when she discovered your presence.”

  “She saw me?” Henry gasped. “But Overton pulled me away so quickly, I didn’t think she had a chance to see my face.”

  “It was only for a second, but that second shattered her. And it shattered her again after she retired to her room and found your delivery. She was already out by the time I came home with it. And now she’s presently convinced that even if you did care for her at some point, you must have come to the very conclusion you just admitted to after the incident in the park.

  “Cecilia has lost all hope that you might reconcile, but I have not. I’m here to entreat on her behalf, because she believes you wish to be left alone. And I hope to make it clear that Cecilia is only accepting courtships because our parents have forced it upon her. I know she’s spoken to you somewhat about their greedy desires, and even if she hadn’t I think it is quite apparent on its own. Since you’ve been gone from her life, my sister has resigned herself to finding a tolerable match at the insistence of our parents, because the match she truly wanted seems to have vanished before her very eyes, without any explanation. And though I don’t know you extremely well, I sense that your heart was in the right place when you chose this course of action.”

  Henry’s eyes snapped up and he stared at Miss Juliet unabashedly. He could hardly believe the words he heard. Could it truly be possible that the woman who had unexpectedly stolen his heart felt the same way he did?

  “Does she truly miss me? She is not turned away by the quiet life I lead? Does she not think she would be eventually become miserable if she were to become shackled to me?”

  The corner of his guest’s mouth drew up in a small smile as Henry revealed his hesitations. “I should think that would be something better discussed between the two of you. And yes, Cecilia is an active girl. But in my long history with her, she’s proven to be just as comfortable quietly entertaining herself at home as she is out on the town. Now this may be bold of me to say, but it seems to me that you rather enjoy Society activities a bit more when my sister is by your side, do you not?”

  Henry rubbed his chin, mulling over that statement. He hadn’t really thought about it much, but when he looked back on their meetings, whether they be dinner parties or dances or walks, he did remember that his anxiety seemed greatly reduced, partially because he was so focused on the beautiful woman in his company. Not totally banished, to be sure, but as he’d grown more comfortable with Miss Richards, her presence came to soothe him.

  For the first time in weeks, Henry felt the stirrings of hope in his heart, a pinprick of light that he wanted to run toward until it grew larger and larger eventually engulfing him in its glory.

  “Lord Neil...” Miss Juliet’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Do you know why she’s thrown off every suitor in her past three Seasons? Because she wanted to marry for true love. She is possessed of a remarkable will when her heart is set on something, and she dismissed many opportunities for great matches because she would not let go of hope.

  “You showed her that her hope was not in vain. My sister has never been happier than when she was with you. Her resolve has been challenged and nearly broken down in these past few weeks. I could not stand by and watch her become a shell of who she is, not without entreating you to reconsider.”

  Hope. Hope had never been something that Henry needed much of.

  Being the son of a baron and eventually inheriting the barony, he had never wanted for anything in his life. He was free to pursue whatever activities he enjoyed purely for passion’s sake, never needing to worry about making an income. He'd never worried about making matches because it simply didn’t interest him. Therefore hope had been a useless emotion. What could a man who needed nothing need to hope for?

  But since he’d met Miss Richards, hope had slowly infiltrated his heart, at first only peeking out from some dark long dormant corner. Eventually it gained courage, shining a little brighter each day until he finally admitted to himself that he did care for Miss Richards and that he could see a future
with her…that he loved her. Finally, Henry had something he wanted but didn’t know if he could have.

  Something to hope for.

  “Miss Juliet...” He addressed the young woman before him quietly, the fledgling hope that had rekindled in his heart flickering but holding on. “Do you not think it might be too late for me to apologize and win her favor back? After everything I’ve put her through, I can’t imagine she would be too thrilled to put her trust in me again.”

  Miss Juliet tutted. “For as intellectual as you are, Lord Neil, you can be a bit dense sometimes.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Henry reeled back, surprised at her deprecating comment.

  “You’re trying to make yet another decision on her behalf without her knowledge, and she is so very thoroughly tired of others presuming to know what’s best for her without taking her own opinions into consideration. You can’t imagine what she may or may not be willing to forgive until you ask her. I can’t say for certain if she will accept you again, for she has been deeply hurt, but I only encourage you now because I believe you have a chance of turning the tide yet.”

  “Ah...” Henry paused.

  What this plucky lady said was true. He saw it plain as day now. It was entirely his fault for finding himself in this sorrowful situation in the first place. He hadn’t given Miss Richards the benefit of the doubt, the chance to use her own voice. He'd had no malicious intentions, of course, but the end result was the same.

  “I’ve been a complete fool,” Henry groaned, raking his hands over his face. He suddenly felt exhausted, as if the trauma of the past few weeks had built up inside him, causing hairline fractures until it could finally burst through and hit him all at once.

  “People sometimes do foolish things when they’re in love,” Miss Juliet shrugged her shoulders sagely. All at once she seemed far wiser and older than her eighteen years.

  Henry squared his shoulders, clenched his jaw, and set his sharp gaze on the young woman. “But if you say I have hope, then I will follow that hope until the last possible moment. As your sister did for me. Even if she wishes to be done with me once and for all, the least I can do is let her know how truly dear she is to me, now and forever.”