Behind The Baron's Mask: A Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 1)
Page 21
Miss Juliet’s youthful face broke into an excited smile. “Thank you, Lord Neil. I knew you were made of the right stuff. Say, are you attending Lady Brunt’s farewell masquerade this evening?”
“I was invited since I attended Lord and Lady Henshell’s welcome masquerade, but I hadn’t planned on making an appearance at this one. I haven’t been much in the mood for gaiety.”
His guest smiled slyly. “Well, I think you’ve just had a change of plans. And how fitting, since you and Cecilia met at the last masquerade.”
“Did we?” Henry wracked his mind for such a memory. He knew he would have remembered meeting Miss Richards. He would never have been able to forget such a thing.
Her younger sister merely looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, and he could see that she was silently calling him dense again. “Hang on.... You don’t mean to say that your sister was indeed the woman I danced with at the welcome masquerade, the one who performed that incredible pianoforte piece?”
“Indeed she was,” Miss Juliet chuckled. “Something in that book answered the same question that had been plaguing Cecilia since the Season began. In fact, when we first made your acquaintance, she was still so enamored with that mystery gentleman that she nearly missed her opportunity to develop affections for you. She wished desperately to discover his identity and it rather distracted her from everything else.
“But the more she got to know you, the more she let that flight of fancy dissipate. How lucky that the man she fell in love with over these past few months was the same man she fell in love with that night. Unlikely coincidences sometimes go by another name: miracles.”
Henry took several deep breaths to calm himself as he stared in the full-length mirror at his uncharacteristically dashing figure. He didn’t attempt to keep up with all the latest fashions for they often changed before he could finish tying his neckcloth. But he made sure his wardrobe was respectable, especially with Solomon’s help.
But if he was going to go all out, tonight was the night. Wearing his expertly cut evening coat, his finest trousers, his most fashionable hat, and his softest gloves, Henry looked every part the well-born dandy man. He wore the same simple mask as on the night he’d first met Miss Richards.
He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to dress so sharply in order to impress Miss Richards. If she rejected him, it wouldn’t be because something was amiss with his outfit. But he figured it couldn’t hurt, and something about putting in effort to ensure he looked nice gave him a slight boost of confidence.
His heart fluttered and his stomach flipped as he headed downstairs to meet Solomon in the foyer.
“Good Heaven!” The earl cried out when Henry appeared, the mask he wore failing to hide his glee. “I must say, when you bother to try you turn out very well. Mayhaps I’m even a little jealous. But certainly proud.” He clapped his hands and grinned but Henry waved him off with a bashful smile.
“Thank you. I’m not sure if it will help me in my mission at all tonight. But if I go down in flames I suppose I might as well go down in style.”
“That’s the spirit!” Solomon cheered, clasping Henry’s gloved hand in his and slapping his shoulder. “But I’m sure no flames will appear tonight, save perhaps for the flames of love.”
Henry groaned at that outrageous attempt at wit and shook his friend off him, marching for the front door.
When Henry had sent a footman to Solomon’s home requesting his urgent presence, Solomon had of course come at once. Henry wasn’t the least surprised that his best friend wholeheartedly supported his quest to find Miss Richards tonight and attempt to right the situation between them.
But Henry couldn’t help noticing the flicker of unease that had passed behind his friend’s eyes when he mentioned Miss Juliet’s surprise visit. Solomon had taken his promise to abandon his courtship with Miss Juliet seriously and had found some new female acquaintances to fill his time. He made no comment as to the appropriateness, or lack thereof of her actions, but Henry suspected that the fact that she’d contacted him at all sat poorly with him.
Henry vowed to discuss it with Solomon after tonight, however his own affairs played out.
The ride to Lady Brunt’s home was not long, but Henry found himself simultaneously wishing it were longer and shorter. On the one hand, he was nervous beyond belief about what he would soon attempt to do. But on the other hand, knowing that he was just minutes away from seeing Miss Richards again ignited that familiar anticipation in his stomach that made him feel as though a hundred delicate winged creatures had taken up residence there.
Frankly, he admitted to himself, he was sick of not being with her. Hopefully he would be able to rectify that tonight.
He and Miss Juliet had agreed to keep his attendance at the ball a surprise in the event that Miss Richards balked at the idea of running into him. And her younger sister had of course lied about her whereabouts, knowing that the elder would be against troubling Henry. Perhaps his sudden reappearance in her life would have some grand and dramatic effect, giving him the opportunity to plead his case.
The ball was already in progress by the time Henry and Solomon arrived but guests continued to filter in and out at their leisure. Surprisingly, Henry didn’t care about the hundreds of other people who had come to one of the most extravagant events of the Season, sending the past few months out with a bang before slowly trickling out of London to return to quiet country life.
Before he would have been in a constant state of near panic being surrounded by so many strangers. But tonight none of them mattered. His current anxiety was caused by something entirely different, and far more important. His very future was on the line.
But finding his heroine would be difficult in a crowd of this size, especially with everyone in disguises.
And indeed it did prove very difficult. He and Solomon made their way around the perimeter of the huge ballroom once with no luck despite two pairs of eyes scanning the guests both floating along the dance floor and lounging about the edges of the room.
“Drat. Do you think they haven’t arrived yet?” Solomon murmured.
“The Richards family typically arrives to events on the earlier side and stays late, I’ve learned. Mr. and Mrs. Richards like to maximize the time they spend rubbing elbows with as many noble people as possible,” Henry responded without taking his eyes away from the crowd.
And suddenly he saw her. A tightknit group must have obscured his view into the back corner of the room, but they chose that fortuitous moment to part, revealing Miss Cecilia Richards in a breathtaking pale blue dress that would surely compliment her eyes, standing idly in the corner with her sister, mother, and Miss Henshell. Though she was several yards away, Henry had no trouble recognizing her flowing movements and the grace with which she held herself. And he certainly recognized her mask. She’d worn that same one on the night they met.
Henry took the opportunity to silently observe while gathering up his courage. He now saw the truth of her sister’s statement. For though Miss Richards smiled her gracious smile and laughed her delicate laugh and nodded to passing acquaintances, there was no glimmer of joy in the deep blue eyes under her white mask.
“Ah, you found her.” Solomon had turned to see what Henry stared at. From the corner of his eye, Henry could see that his friend’s gaze was not on Henry’s target, but on the youngest woman in the group. “Well, get over there, Henry.” He put a hand between Henry’s shoulder blades and pushed.
He stumbled forward but as soon as he righted himself, the hostess herself approached Miss Richards and appeared to ask her a question. Mrs. Richards nodded fervently while her oldest daughter nodded and followed behind Lady Brunt.
Henry would have to wait until Lady Brunt finished whatever business she had with Miss Richards. He silently kicked himself. If only he’d been just a few seconds faster, he could have whisked her away onto the dance floor. Every moment that prolonged this experience of uncertainty was excruciating.
; “Poor timing,” Solomon sighed.
“It’s quite alright. You need not wait around with me. Go have fun.” Henry gripped Solomon’s arm and smiled at his friend before nodding in the direction of the corner the Richards women occupied. “Why not ask Miss Juliet for a dance?”
The earl immediately tensed and Henry could feel his muscles flex through his coat sleeve. “I would really rather not. But a dance does sound refreshing, with the right partner.” Solomon stalked off in search of a promising young lady, steering clear of that corner.
A hush fell over the crowd as the Master of Ceremonies called for attention. A special guest would be playing a piece on the pianoforte at Lady Brunt’s request, he announced. It dawned on Henry that the special guest must have been Miss Richards. He was not in the least surprised that she would be prevailed upon to perform.
He slipped closer to the music platform as a curious audience gathered to watch and listen. Miss Richards took her seat at the instrument and Henry saw her take a few deep breaths as she readied herself.
Henry instantly recognized the piece. He’d played it in his head numerous times a day for weeks, the piece she’d composed herself and played in his drawing room.
But within the first few measures Henry could sense that something was amiss. The young woman played with a timid, faltering air—very unlike the standard he’d come to know of Miss Richards’s talent. While most of the audience likely did not notice any missteps, Henry’s memory was so attuned to the piece that he could hear a few mistakes slipping through. From Henry’s vantage point of Miss Richards’s side profile, he could see that her lips pressed together in a tight line.
She was not happy, Henry realized. And he had been the cause. He'd stolen her joy even as he tried to protect it.
Miss Richards had once again been reduced to the struggles she suffered when they’d first met—because of Henry.
Henry found himself slowly inching through the crowd to a position with a better view of Miss Richards’s face. Even covered by a half mask, Henry wanted to see her expressions as she played. He only hoped he would blend into the crowd so as not to startle her.
But not a moment later, Miss Richards’s eyes lifted from the keys and out into the crowd. Henry’s heart stopped as her eyes found his immediately, as if they were drawn to him, made to seek him out amongst hundreds of people.
Her fingers fumbled as her lips parted slightly in surprise. Surely she recognized his mask from their fateful dance at the last fancy dress ball. All Henry could think to do was give a warm smile and encouraging nod. No doubt she must be upset to see him so suddenly. Henry ardently hoped that he had not ruined her moment.
Much to Henry’s surprise, Miss Richards returned the smile and brought her focus back to the instrument. Her playing suddenly seemed to right itself as she floated through the rest of the piece with grace and impeccable skill.
Her expression transformed from one of strain and anxiety to delight and pride. Henry knew without a doubt that Miss Richards was indeed that same woman he’d so admired at the Henshells’ ball. Watching Miss Richards play now, he felt as though he’d stepped back into that memory. His heart swelled with each crescendo and his smile grew wider as he soaked in her beauty glittering under the chandeliers.
The piece came to an end and the audience rewarded Miss Richards with enthusiastic applause. Henry clapped so loudly that a few nearby guests glared at him from beneath their disguises. But he had not a care in the world for their judgement. Miss Richards deserved accolades upon accolades.
The young lady smiled and curtsied to the onlookers before leaving the platform. Henry jumped as he lost sight of her in the throng of guests. He pushed forward, muttering apologies as he weaved through far too many bodies, his eyes darting about the room frantically.
At last, he spied Miss Richards on her way back to her family and friend.
“Miss Richards,” he called, grabbing her gloved hand.
“Lord Neil! I didn’t expect to see you in the audience tonight.... How may I help you?” Beneath the shock in her voice was an undercurrent of strain. She glanced around uncomfortably. Henry needed to make his appeal fast.
“In truth, I hadn’t planned on coming tonight. But I needed to dance with you. Would you do me the honor?” He let go of her hand and backed up a step, bowing and properly offering his hand. He maintained the awkward position for a tense moment.
Miss Richards gazed into his eyes, but for once Henry found them unreadable. Perhaps she was thrilled to see him, or perhaps she wanted nothing more than to run away. Henry's heart felt like it might explode at any moment while he waited for her to decide, ignoring the glances from curious guests.
Finally, she nodded and quickly accepted his hand. The next set had just started so Henry wasted no time leading her back out to the floor. His heart slowed, but only slightly. He still knew that there was ample time for her to reject him once and for all.
Effortlessly, they fell into step together. They spent the first few moments of the dance in silence, collecting their own thoughts and reacquainting themselves with their movements. But Henry found that their unspoken connection was once again nearly instant.
Her one small hand in his felt perfectly in place. He barely thought about anything his feet did because he was so in sync with her that it came naturally to him. Just as it had during their first dance, when they were still strangers with hidden identities. It was as though something in their bodies, a deep essence that ran through their very blood, drew them together and matched each other step for step.
Henry couldn’t resist staring down at the face he’d grown eager to see every week, the face he’d dreamed of so often these past few months. He only wished that her glittering mask could be removed so he could appreciate the perfect way her features came together to create a beautiful whole.
And he wished her eyes would catch his, the deep summer sky blue eyes he’d missed so much. But Miss Richards still seemed unsure of this unexpected encounter, and she kept them low.
As much as he enjoyed simply being in her presence again, feeling her so close, silently watching the minutest expressions pass over her face, the thundering of Henry’s heart in his battered chest spurred him to speak.
“Miss Richards.... Cecilia,” he whispered. It was a risk, using her Christian name so shamelessly. But he needed to convey how much she meant to him, and he had nothing to lose. He had never said her name out loud before, he realized. It felt tantalizing yet natural all at once.
Her eyes darted up to finally meet his. They were wide under her mask. “Why have you come here tonight? Why did you seek me out now after all this time?” Her breathless voice rattled something deep inside Henry. All his apprehension and shame vanished in an instant.
“I know you have no reason to believe me, and every reason to hate me. But, the simple truth is I have missed you so deeply, more than words can express. Because I love you. I've probably been in love with you for longer than I realized. As someone told me recently, I can be quite dense at times, to my own detriment.”
Finally saying the words out loud felt like peace being restored...like coming home. Henry had no idea that three simple, common English words, when said in the right configuration, could have such a profound impact on him.
“But you vanished without a word. I know you do not owe me anything, but I had hoped that you held me in high enough regard to honor me with an explanation. I only received your manuscript after I returned home and I knew you were trying to close the door on us. It certainly felt closed when I saw you at the park yesterday. That expression on your face has been burned in my mind ever since. You looked as though I were dead to you.”
A deep pain echoed in her voice and Henry nearly stumbled when he saw her eyes gloss over with barely contained tears. He would give anything to take back his foolish actions. But his only option now was try to forge a path forward. He used every reunion during their set to lay the groundwork for that path.
“If I saw disappointment and loneliness in your eyes every day as you yearned for better company and livelier activities, I don’t know how I could live with myself. I didn’t think I could give you the life you deserve because I spend so much of my time writing in my study. I was too scared to try.
“But a guardian angel of sorts came to me recently and showed me the error of my ways. By disappearing from you, I made the choice that we should not be together without taking your thoughts into consideration. And I deeply, deeply regret doing such a thoughtless thing.”
As Miss Richards took her place across from Henry, she glanced to the corner of the room where her sister had been and her eyes narrowed. She seemed to have a guess as to the identity of Henry’s guardian angel.
Once her hand was back in his, he continued.
“As for the park, I didn’t realize you had seen me. I will admit I was shocked to see you with another suitor, especially because you looked to be your usual cheerful self. I selfishly thought that you might be missing me, too, and when I saw you so happily living your life...I retreated even further upon myself.
“But I certainly didn’t begrudge you for it. I simply hoped to show you how deeply you inspired me in our time together. That draft I gave you has turned into one of my best works yet. All because of you.”
He trailed off, suddenly feeling weak. “If I can be so bold, if I can be given a chance to right this terrible wrong I’ve done you...
“I need you in my life, Cecilia. I need you by my side. The color in my world has been so much more vibrant since you’ve been in it. I feared that you would find a life with me to be boring and unfulfilling. I feared that I would lose one thing—my writing—if I gained you. But I realized that it was my life that had been missing something all along. You. Now I fear that I cannot go back to the life I used to live.”