A Mother Forever

by Elaine Everest

  ‘I’ve seen it happen before,’ Susannah said sympathetically. ‘Now, can I get you a drink or something to eat before you start your journey home? We have a very nice cafe here for the visitors.’

  ‘That would be nice,’ Ruby said, ‘but you must get back to Derek. I had hoped he would have news of my Eddie. I’m sorry that I asked.’

  ‘I’m afraid Derek only has nightmares about his time in the trenches. Have you not received notification of your husband?’

  ‘No, nothing at all. I’ve been told that sometimes it can take a while for news to come through. I’ll hang on to the hope that he will come home to me one day.’

  ‘That’s all you can do for now – but don’t forget to make enquiries. You never know . . .’

  Ruby kissed the woman’s cheek and thanked her for all she’d done for Derek.

  Making her way to the cafe, she sat drinking her tea thoughtfully, feeling more herself and grateful that at least Derek had been saved. After handing the books over to the almoner, she took a slow walk back down the lane and sat on a low wall, waiting for the carter to appear. The day had turned even colder. As she pulled her collar up around her and crossed her arms across her body to try to keep warm, snowflakes started to fall.

  She thought back to when she had first met the Green family: a contented husband and wife with three healthy and happy sons. Tears dripped onto her cheeks as she thought of the family torn apart by tragedy. When would this war be over?

  3rd September 1918

  ‘What are you up to tonight?’ Cissie asked, linking arms with Ruby as they hurried along Manor Road. It had been a warm day, and both women felt exhausted after their hard day’s work.

  ‘I just want to kick my shoes off and have a rest,’ Ruby said. ‘I’d like to drag the tin bath in and have a soak as well, but I don’t know if I’ve got the energy. Mind you, the first thing I’m going to do when I get indoors is put the kettle on to make myself a cup of tea and read Frank’s letter. It came through the letter box just before I left this morning, and I didn’t have time to open it before I had to leave. Pat wouldn’t get out of her bed, and it made me late.’

  ‘You should’ve brought it with you and read it while we was eating our lunch,’ Cissie said.

  ‘No, I like to sit and read things like that privately,’ Ruby replied. As much as she enjoyed her new friend’s company, she knew there were things she wanted to keep to herself.

  ‘Are you sweet on him?’ Cissie asked. ‘I know you talk about him a lot, but you never mention your old man.’

  Ruby gave a tired laugh. Each time she spoke of Frank, she felt as though she had to be careful what she said. What would people say if they knew the truth about him? ‘It’s not like that, Cissie. We are just very good friends.’

  ‘Is this Frank married?’

  ‘No. He used to be my lodger. Now he serves in the Ambulance Corps.’

  Cissie cocked her head to one side. ‘Did he sell up the bookshop?’

  ‘No, his friend Stephen runs it now and still lives there above the shop.’ Ruby could have bitten her tongue. She knew she’d said too much, the way Cissie gave her an old-fashioned look.

  ‘Oh, it’s like that, is it?’ she said, raising her eyebrows. ‘Fancy you mixing with the likes of them.’

  Ruby stopped on the spot and turned on her friend. She’s got to know Cissie quite well, even covering for her a few times when she was late for work; and once, when she had wanted to keep a secret about going out with her army officer friend, Ruby had pretended she’d gone to the picture house with her. She later found out that the officer, although very nice, was a married man. Since then, she’d always said she was busy if Cissie wanted her to cover for her. ‘Now look here, Cissie,’ she said, putting her hands on her hips, ‘I don’t know what you’re getting at, but Frank is a nice bloke. He’s been a good friend to me over the years, and a good friend to my children, and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. I happened to know him because his mother lives over the road from me. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it,’ she finished, starting to flounce ahead.

  ‘Oh I didn’t mean anything by it, Ruby. You know what I’m like, always making a joke about things.’

  Ruby slowed down. She didn’t have the energy to fall out with anyone. The day had dragged on so, and she had to remind herself she wouldn’t have met her daily target when she first started at the munitions factory if the girls hadn’t stepped in to help her. She’d just felt so sluggish as for the past few nights she’d sat with Irene in her house next door. The girl was missing George terribly and now, in the late stages of pregnancy, she did nothing but whine and cry. Ruby had suggested Irene might like to move back in with her mother until after the birth, but Irene refused point-blank, stating that her mother fussed too much and would pack her off to one of those maternity homes. She wanted to be in her and George’s house when her baby came along, and she wanted Ruby to help her rather than her mother. Above all else, she wanted George home with her. As much as Ruby kept telling her she had to get up early for work and needed her sleep, Irene just didn’t understand. It meant late nights for Ruby, so she wasn’t quite herself when she did get down the munitions works for half past seven the next morning.

  Tonight, although she felt guilty thinking about it, she knew she would creep in quietly in the hope Irene might not hear she was home. The day before, she’d gone in through the back gate to avoid being spotted. All she wanted was some time to herself – why, she had hardly sat and spoken to Pat for days now. At least the girl was able to go over and sit with her nanny Stella, as she still called her, until Ruby got home from work.

  Stella had never really been the same since hearing of Donald’s death. Wilf had tried to talk to her about Derek, but still she would scream and shout, stating that he was dead to her – she simply couldn’t cope with the thought of her beautiful son being damaged. Occasionally Ruby tried her best to talk to Stella, but she was always ignored or sent packing. She did know that Frank would write to his mum; but, as he explained in his letters to Ruby, he kept it brief, as he just didn’t know what to say to her any more.

  Ruby decided to try again and take Frank’s letter over to show Stella – after she’d read it herself, of course, in case there was any mention of Stephen. She prayed that one day Stella would be able to return to the person she’d known when Ruby first moved to Alexandra Road all those years ago. As friendly as she was with the girls from work, Ruby longed to be close to Stella once more.

  ‘I’ll say goodbye here,’ Cissie said. ‘I want to pop into the town. I’ll knock for you tomorrow on the way to work?’ She leant in and kissed Ruby’s cheek.

  ‘See you later,’ Ruby called as she turned and walked up Alexandra Road and approached her gate.

  ‘Ruby!’ Wilf shouted from his open front door. He looked so upset that Ruby froze for a moment.

  ‘What is it, Wilf?’ she asked, hurrying over the road. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s Stella. She’s ever so poorly. She’s burning up, and I don’t know what to do.’

  Wilf had continued to care for Stella since Donald’s death, although things had changed to the point that he was no longer the proud man who worked on the Thames. It was as if he’d shrunk up inside, becoming older than his years.

  Ruby hurried past him, pulling off her coat as she did so. The Greens’ house was stiflingly hot.

  ‘I lit a fire because she said she was cold – but look at her. I’ve never seen anyone sweat so much, and she is delirious.’

  Ruby went over to the sofa where Stella lay. She looked as though she was asleep, but as Ruby approached her she could see her eyes were fluttering and she was mumbling all the time. She seemed quite distressed.

  ‘Can you get me a bowl of water and a cloth please, Wilf,’ she said, kneeling down next to the sofa and loosening Stella’s clothing, which was damp with perspiration. ‘It’s all right, Stella, I’m here. I’ll help you. I can see you don’t feel well.’

&nb
sp; Stella stirred and focused on Ruby. ‘Where is my Donald?’ she muttered as she grabbed Ruby’s hand. ‘Get my Donald for me, please.’

  Wilf returned with a bowl of water. As Ruby sponged Stella’s face, she asked him how long she had been like this.

  ‘A couple of days now. I thought she’d get better.’

  ‘I wish I’d known. I’d not have sent Pat over to bother you.’ Ruby couldn’t help wondering if whatever was wrong with Stella could have been passed on to her daughter.

  ‘She’s been in bed the last couple of days, and Pat played down here quietly. You know she’s no trouble, but today Stella decided she wanted to come downstairs. She took a turn for the worse, so I settled her on the sofa and had your Pat go over and sit with Irene. Do you think it’s the Spanish flu?’

  This had not occurred to Ruby. Dear God, she thought, please don’t let it be the Spanish influenza. She’d heard of so many people in the town going down with it. There’d been quite a few deaths as well. The girls down the munitions reckoned the soldiers were bringing it back from the trenches, but Ruby thought it was all hearsay. All she knew was, it was a nasty illness and there’d been so much about it in the newspapers that she’d stopped reading them. If it wasn’t the war, it was the flu. At work her colleagues spoke of nothing else, and then the shopkeepers would go on and on. Like so many people, she was worn down by four years of reading about the horrors of war and knowing so many people who’d lost loved ones. The war didn’t seem to discriminate, as there were huge losses on all sides – and now the Spanish flu was doing the same. It was about time they all had some good news in their lives.

  ‘I don’t know, Wilf, but I think you should go and get the doctor. I’ll make her as comfortable as I can while you’re gone.’

  ‘I thought only younger people got it, so perhaps it’s not Spanish flu,’ he said hopefully.

  ‘Whatever it is, Stella is poorly. Please can you hurry and get the doctor?’ she urged him.

  Wilf did as he was told and Ruby set to work making Stella more comfortable. She hurried upstairs to the woman’s bedroom and found a long cotton nightgown. Being careful, she cooled her down with the water Wilf had brought in and dried her before putting her in her nightwear, then plumped up the cushions around her head.

  ‘There you are, that’s much better, isn’t it, Stella?’ she said with a smile. ‘Wilf will be back shortly with your doctor. You’ll soon be as right as rain.’ She thought she knew why her neighbour had taken so poorly. She was just skin and bone – there was hardly anything of her.

  Thinking back, there had been an occasion recently when Ruby had seen her walking through the town and Stella hadn’t even seemed to recognize Ruby. A group of soldiers had passed nearby, and she’d heard Stella call out: ‘Donald, is that you?’ before going into a cafe and sitting down.

  Ruby, afraid of being rebuked again, had seen that there was another of their neighbours in there talking to Stella, so she had gone on her way; but what she had witnessed worried her. The light inside her friend had been gradually dimming, and Ruby felt she should do something. But what?

  She sat on the floor close to Stella’s head and chatted away, hoping that Stella would hear her and be comforted by her voice. She talked about Frank, mentioning that there had been a letter and that she would bring it over later to share his words. She spoke of George and how he hoped to be home soon before the birth of his baby. At the mention of the word ‘baby’, Stella opened her eyes and looked straight at Ruby. ‘Your baby died,’ she said, before drifting off into a restless sleep.

  Although shocked, Ruby continued to talk, as she felt it was important for Stella to know that somebody was there. Would it hurt now to mention Derek, she thought? Taking a deep breath, she chatted about Stella’s middle son and how she’d gone to see him several times at the hospital. She told Stella about Susannah, and how good she was for her son. She told her that he had regained the sight in one eye, although his face was badly scarred. She added that the last time she’d gone to visit, Susannah had shown her an engagement ring. Derek planned that when he left the hospital for good, they would rent a little cottage where he would tend his garden and work with a fellow injured soldier, starting their own carpentry business. Susannah was good for him, she kept telling Stella.

  ‘I think when you’re better, you should go and see him. You’d be so proud of your son,’ she pleaded. Running out of words at last, she fell silent.

  After a moment, Stella’s eyes slowly opened. She looked at Ruby directly, seeming to see her clearly for the first time since she had arrived. Ruby waited anxiously; Stella looked as if she might be about to speak.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Stella whispered finally, and with one struggling breath, she passed away.

  Ruby softly cried for the friend that she’d loved; she cried for Wilf, who would be lost without his wife; and she cried for Frank and Derek.

  ‘It’s all over now,’ she said, as she closed Stella’s eyes and kissed her forehead.

  Only minutes later, Wilf rushed into the house, the doctor following at his heels. He took one look at his wife’s peaceful face and fell to his knees, imploring her to wake up.

  The doctor checked Stella before turning to Wilf, helping him into a chair. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Green – you were right. Your wife must have contracted the Spanish influenza; at least she’s at peace now. Would you like me to get word to Mr Hind, the undertaker?’

  Wilf nodded. ‘Please . . . if you could tell them I want only the best for her,’ he said before going to his wife’s side, lifting her in his arms and hugging her close as he sobbed.

  The doctor asked Ruby if she would be all right. Ruby nodded her head.

  ‘I’ll stay here with Wilf for a while,’ she promised as she saw the doctor out.

  For an hour, she sat with Wilf. She tried to give him a drink, and offered to make him something to eat. But Wilf refused, all the time still holding on to his wife’s body.

  After a time, the undertaker arrived. While he was still encouraging Wilf to let them take Stella away, there was a tap at the door. Ruby opened it to see two older men, who introduced themselves as Wilf’s brothers.

  ‘The doctor got in touch with us, as we work near the surgery,’ the elder one explained as she let them in. They both looked distressed at the sight of their brother. ‘We will take care of him now, my dear – you don’t need to witness this.’

  Ruby told them where she lived, then left the house. Walking slowly across the road, deep in thought, she saw the door of number fifteen open and Pat come rushing out, her face ghostly pale.

  ‘Mum, come quick! Irene’s very poorly. She said to tell you the baby is coming. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you for ages!’

  16

  Could this day get any worse? Ruby thought. Hopefully Irene was worrying over nothing. They’d had more than one false alarm before, with the girl thinking she was about to give birth.

  ‘Where is she?’ she asked Pat, following her into Irene’s house.

  ‘She’s in the front room,’ Pat replied, looking tearful. ‘I don’t want to go back in there . . . Can . . . can I go home?’

  ‘Yes, of course you can, lovey,’ Ruby said, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. ‘But can you do something for me? It’s very urgent.’

  ‘Of course I can, Mummy.’

  ‘Would you go into the front room and pull the curtains closed, then go upstairs to my bedroom and do the same? I’ll explain to you later why I want this done. Then I want you to stay indoors,’ Ruby asked, knowing that she ought to do something to pay her respects to Stella.

  ‘Can I go over to Stella and tell her that the baby might be on its way?’

  ‘No,’ Ruby said sharply. ‘It’s best you don’t. I’ll explain shortly, but I’d prefer you stay here for now.’

  ‘Is Stella still poorly?’

  ‘Yes, my love, she is,’ Ruby said, doing her utmost to smile and act naturally for the sake of her daughter
.

  Irene cried out for help. ‘I’m here!’ Ruby called back. Kissing Pat one more time, she ushered her into number thirteen and closed the door behind her.

  ‘I’m here, there’s no need to worry now,’ she said, taking a deep breath as she stepped into the room. ‘Oh my goodness, you have been busy,’ she grinned.

  ‘I’ve made a mess of my tablecloth,’ Irene smiled from where she lay on the floor. ‘I had Pat grab it for me and then sent her outside.’

  ‘Now, why didn’t you get her to call somebody?’ Ruby asked as she bent down next to the girl and looked at the small baby swaddled in the tablecloth.

  ‘Meet your first granddaughter,’ Irene smiled weakly.

  ‘It’s a girl? How splendid,’ Ruby said as the baby started to cry, and Ruby felt close to tears. ‘She’s got a good pair of lungs on her, I’ll give her that. If only George and your parents had been here,’ she added, looking sad.

  ‘It would’ve been rather crowded, don’t you think?’ Irene grinned. ‘And I’m not sure this kind of thing is my mother’s cup of tea. Speaking of which, I’m parched and rather stiff down here. I feel as though I’ve been lying on the floor for an age, when it’s probably less than an hour.’

  Ruby stood up. ‘Right, let’s get organized. I’m going to pop up the road and fetch Mrs Leighton – she always does the bits and bobs for the ladies in the street when they’re giving birth. She knows everything there is to know. Can you stay there another ten minutes, until I bring her back? Then I’ll get that cup of tea for you. George will be delighted. He used to tell me when he was a little boy that one day, he’d have a daughter,’ she said, looking down at the prettiest baby she’d ever seen. ‘She’s adorable – but then, I am a little biased.’

  ‘Don’t forget that we’re going to call her Sarah,’ Irene smiled. ‘She looks like a Sarah, doesn’t she?’

  Ruby thought her heart would burst with joy as she gazed at the child before hurrying out the front door just as the undertaker was taking Stella away from number fourteen. As one soul leaves this life another arrives, she thought to herself.