A Mother Forever

by Elaine Everest

  Stella’s funeral was a sombre affair with few attending. Ruby had expected to see many more people there; she’d always had the impression Stella was much loved. She supposed the war had done much to distance friends who had lost sons, and Stella had rather distanced herself from other locals; her grief had made her bitter towards anyone who had something to celebrate.

  Ruby left the pretty graveyard that surrounded St Paulinus church. She was at least pleased her friend had been laid to rest in such a peaceful place. Apart from herself, Stephen, and Wilf’s brothers, there had only been a few neighbours in attendance. Both she and Stephen had decided to walk back to Erith.

  ‘Ruby!’ a female voice called out, and she turned to glance back. ‘Surely it couldn’t be . . .?’ she whispered, looking at Stephen in surprise.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

  ‘I thought I heard a voice I recognized call out to me.’

  ‘Ruby!’

  ‘I heard it that time,’ Stephen said. ‘Look, back there – by the front of the church. It’s a woman waving to you.’

  ‘Oh my goodness,’ Ruby said. ‘I wrote a letter – but I wasn’t sure if they would come.’

  ‘Who?’ Stephen asked as he followed Ruby, who by now was almost running towards the person who’d called out her name.

  ‘Susannah! Thank goodness you managed to get here,’ she said as she hugged the younger, taller woman, who looked demure in a sombre black dress and hat.

  ‘I – that is, we – wanted to come to pay our respects. For Derek, it was to say his goodbyes and to make his peace with his father. For me, it was to try to forge links with my new family. I’m so sorry that I never got to meet Derek’s mother.’

  ‘You’d not have known the woman we all loved and respected if you had seen her before she passed away. Stella had not been herself in recent years,’ Ruby consoled her. She turned to Stephen, who had just caught up with her. ‘I’d like you to meet Susannah. She is the fiancée of Derek Green, Frank’s brother.’

  As Stephen reached out to shake Susannah’s right hand, she held up her left one to show a shiny new gold wedding band. ‘I am Mrs Green now. I’d like you to meet my husband,’ she said, turning to where Derek was leaning against a wall, partially hidden by a tree.

  He stepped forward as Ruby squealed with delight and rushed over to give him a gentle hug. ‘I won’t break,’ he said as he hugged her back and swung her round. ‘How do you do?’ he said to Stephen, as he set Ruby back on her feet and straightened himself up.

  ‘I’m very pleased to meet you,’ Stephen said, returning his handshake. ‘I hear you’ve had a rough time of it? Thank goodness you were able to be cared for at the Queen’s Hospital. I’ve read many great things about them.’

  ‘For me they were a lifesaver. There are many men who were more badly injured than I was. I’ll wear my scars for the rest of my life, and of course I have lost three fingers. My eyesight is affected, with partial sight in just the one eye – but I’ll get by. I have no choice,’ he said, giving a gentle laugh. ‘My wife won’t allow me to wallow in self-pity. Ruby witnessed my mood change when she first visited. I’ve never apologized. I’m sorry.’

  ‘You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just relieved we didn’t lose you,’ Ruby said, marvelling at the change in him. ‘Have you been to pay your respects?’ she asked as she looked towards where two men had started to fill in Stella’s grave. ‘The mourners have left, so you won’t meet anyone if you don’t wish to. The path is a little uneven; will you take my arm, so I don’t stumble?’

  Derek roared with laughter. ‘Ruby Caselton, I can see right through you, but I’ll play along. Here take my arm,’ he said, continuing to chuckle as they strolled through the churchyard to Stella’s grave.

  ‘This is a beautiful setting,’ Susannah said as she looked out to the fields beyond the church, which sat on higher ground. ‘What is that building?’

  ‘I have no idea. I’m not a local,’ Ruby said.

  ‘That will be the manor house,’ Derek informed them.

  Ruby was amazed. ‘Has your eyesight improved that much?’ she gasped.

  ‘I wish it had – but no, the truth is, I often came here with Mum and Dad. My grandparents are buried here. Dad told us boys about the history of the owner, Sir Cloudesley Shovell, and his exploits at sea over two hundred years ago. As a young lad, it caught my imagination. Part of me now wishes I’d followed Dad and worked on the river.’

  ‘Have you seen your dad?’ Ruby asked as they reached the grave.

  ‘We arrived late, as I got us lost,’ Susannah explained. ‘I was concentrating on my driving and not the route. We slipped into the back of the church just as the service had started.’

  ‘You drove a motor car?’ Ruby asked in surprise. She didn’t know a man who drove a vehicle, let alone a woman. Frank had toyed with the idea at one time, thinking that it might help his business, but he hadn’t gone further than talking about the idea. ‘Oh my,’ she added, imagining trying to manoeuvre a motorcar, let alone steer it in the right direction.

  ‘Susannah’s father works in the industry and says his daughters should be able to do the same as his two sons. It is lucky that she can, as I’m not much good with this hand,’ Derek said, holding up his arm. ‘Then there’s the matter of seeing where I’m heading. Not having decent eyesight could be a problem,’ he grinned.

  Ruby marvelled at the way Derek had bounced back from his injuries. Only the love of a good woman could have created the miracle now standing in front of her.

  They stood in respectful silence around the grave, paying their last respects. The gravediggers walked away, giving the family time alone to grieve.

  Derek looked up from his thoughts and prayers. ‘She was a good mother, wasn’t she?’

  ‘I know she was a good friend to me,’ Ruby said, trying to dismiss all the hateful things Stella had said or done in the last couple of years.

  ‘I wish I’d got to know her, or even met her,’ Susannah said, dabbing her eyes with a delicate lace handkerchief.

  Stephen nodded as they spoke. ‘I’ve only ever heard good things about Stella,’ he said, trying to avoid Ruby’s eyes as they both knew that wasn’t quite the truth.

  As they walked away after thanking the gravediggers, Ruby asked Susannah when they had to head for home. ‘If you have time, would you like to come back to the house and I can give you some tea?’ Ruby had baked a cake and made sandwiches, imagining that she might have some guests. Stephen was also going back to the house because he wanted to meet baby Sarah.

  Susannah looked towards Derek. ‘How do you feel about going back to Alexandra Road? I know I’d love to see the baby. Perhaps it would be good practice in holding a newborn?’ She noticed the grin spreading across Ruby’s face, and smiled in return. ‘Yes, you are the first people I’ve mentioned it to. We’ve not even told my parents yet.’

  Ruby kissed Susannah’s cheek. ‘I’m so pleased for you; why, it’s like a new beginning!’ Ruby could see that this must be the reason Derek was so upbeat and positive about the future.

  ‘I think I’m ready to go back home,’ he said. ‘We need our child to have roots and family – and how can we teach a child that, when I have let go of my own?’

  ‘Does that mean you’ll see Wilf? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled with the news. He has so little left now,’ Ruby said.

  ‘I’m ready; that’s if we get back in one piece, as I insist you travel with us, and Susannah’s driving leaves a lot to be desired – being such a weak example of the female race.’

  Susannah playfully slapped him on the arm. ‘I’ll have you know that in my time I’ve been a suffragette. I am one of these new women they talk about,’ she grinned, and winked at Ruby. ‘Don’t take any notice of my husband. He can be insufferable at times.’

  ‘Do we have any choice not to be?’ Ruby laughed. ‘I quite enjoy working for a living. If and when this war finishes, I shall continue with my own job.’

>   Stephen chuckled as he helped the ladies into the vehicle. ‘I hope you do, Ruby: your yellow face so becomes you.’ Ruby ignored his joke. She was used to it, and was proud of the yellow tinge her complexion had acquired. It showed everyone that she worked in munitions and was playing her part in the war effort.

  She was impressed with Susannah’s driving. She’d hardly ever been in a motor vehicle before, so it was a thrill not only to be transported at such speed, but to see a woman operating a vehicle with such prowess. The two women sat in the front of the vehicle and ignored the playful jibes from the men, who joked about hiring a man with a red flag to walk in front.

  Back at number thirteen, Susannah helped Ruby lay out the tea things while Stephen went next door to assist Irene in bringing the baby in to visit.

  Pat, who had already run out of Irene’s house when she saw the motor vehicle pull up, was sitting with Derek, updating him on what she’d done since he went to war. He took it in good spirits, asking the little girl questions and admiring her dolly and pram.

  Ruby beckoned to Susannah to get a little closer to her so Derek could not hear them talking in the kitchen. ‘Do you think I should go over the road and bring Wilf back here for tea?’

  ‘That’s an admirable idea. Why don’t I come with you? If you introduce me to Wilf in his house, at least he won’t be able to easily refuse the invitation.’

  ‘Why, Mrs Green, you seem to be a very cunning woman,’ Ruby joked.

  ‘Living with Derek, I have become adept at cajoling and being cunning enough to bring the best out of my husband,’ she smiled. ‘He still has moments of depression. I fear it is something we will live with for the rest of his life, but in between these times he is the most loving husband. I thank my lucky stars that I was the nurse assigned to care for him. I’d heard of romances between nurses and soldiers when I first volunteered to work at the hospital, never dreaming that it would happen to me. I’m truly blessed.’

  After settling her guests with their tea and giving Susannah enough time to fuss over baby Sarah, the two women made their excuses and crossed the road to see Wilf. When he opened the door to them, he greeted Ruby with a gentle smile and looked quizzically at the stranger. ‘Please come in,’ he said. ‘You must excuse me; I’ve just undone my tie. I know Stella would have told me off, but it’s quite warm, and I’m ready to sit down and have a rest. It’s been such a tiring day. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?’ he said, offering them a seat.

  ‘Wilf, I think you ought to sit down for a moment. This may be rather a shock. My friend is married to someone you know.’

  ‘Really?’ Wilf said, with a little frown.

  ‘Yes – please meet Mrs Susannah Green.’

  Wilf looked puzzled. ‘Green, you say? Are you married to one of my nephews?’

  Susannah went over to Wilf and took his hand. ‘My husband is Derek Green. I am your daughter-in-law.’

  Wilf looked at her for a moment, absorbing the news. ‘If only Stella could have been here to meet you,’ he said. ‘I wish now that I’d told her to forget the daft ideas in her head. Whatever injuries Derek had, he was still ours. I fear the loss of Donald changed her in so many ways.’

  It was all Ruby could do not to burst out crying at Wilf’s words. ‘She wasn’t herself at that time, we’ve got to remember that. For me, Stella will always be the person who saved my life and kept me sane after I lost my baby. I’ll tell you all about it some time,’ she said, in response to Susannah’s puzzled glance. ‘For now, I reckon Wilf should see his son, don’t you?’

  ‘I do. Why don’t you come over to Ruby’s house? She has laid on a lovely afternoon tea as a kind of wake. I’ve just met Irene and baby Sarah, as well as Stephen, who I believe is looking after your Frank’s bookshop? We do have another surprise; but I want to be with Derek when we give you the news. Please do say you’ll come?’

  Wilf nodded in agreement and reached for his tie. ‘Let me just make myself presentable,’ he said.

  ‘There is no need for that. We’re not standing on ceremony in my house,’ Ruby said. ‘I like my guests to be comfortable.’

  ‘You’re a good woman, Ruby Caselton. I’ve got a lot to thank you for. I’ve been a foolish old man keeping away from everybody since I lost my darling wife. Why, my brothers even laid on tea for the mourners, but I couldn’t face it. I came straight home. They may be family, but they’re not my close family. I just wanted to be home here with my memories . . . but I’ll gladly come over to your house, Ruby, because you are more family to me than some who share the same surname. Besides, I’ve got to make up for lost time. I have bridges to build with Derek.’

  When Wilf walked into Ruby’s house and saw his son, he did not flinch. Instead he grabbed the lad in a bear hug, which Derek reciprocated. Stephen gave up his chair so that the father could sit next to his son.

  ‘How have you been, son?’ Wilf asked as he looked at Derek’s scarred face.

  ‘I’ve been better, Dad, but then I’ve been worse as well. My eyesight is not so good any more, but I’m here and I’m alive. I heard about our Donald. I just pray that Frank gets through this war and comes home safe and sound.’

  The look between the younger adults present showed that all of them understood the relationship shared by Frank and Stephen.

  Wilf reached out and took Stephen’s hand. ‘As a friend of our Frank’s, you are part of our family,’ he said, ‘and we owe it to Stella to stick together.’

  Ruby put her arm around the shoulders of Pat and Irene. It was a touching moment to see the Green family reunited.

  Susannah cleared her throat. ‘We have some more news, Wilf. Perhaps you’d like to tell him, Derek?’

  ‘Dad, you’re going to have your first grandchild arrive in the spring.’

  ‘Let’s hope the baby arrives into a world free of war,’ Wilf said. ‘That would truly be something to celebrate. However, I’ll say now: never will a child be more loved than one that’s welcomed into this family. We owe it to your mother.’

  The afternoon was spent catching up on news of what had happened while the family members had been apart. Eventually Irene made her goodbyes to take her daughter home to be fed, while Ruby went to the kitchen to do the washing-up, refusing offers of help from her guests. She’d almost finished when she heard a chair scrape on the floor. Turning, she saw Derek making his way towards her and marvelled at how well he managed now his sight was limited. ‘Do you need a hand, Derek?’

  ‘No, I’m fine, thanks. I wanted to have a word with you, alone.’

  ‘Then sit yourself down and I’ll join you,’ she said, folding the tea towel and leaving it on the wooden draining board before moving into the living room to join him. She’d never been so grateful as she was then to have a separate front room and living room, because at times there was a need for privacy. ‘What was it you wanted to tell me?’

  ‘It’s about Eddie. I know it’s been some time since I was injured, and I wondered if you’d heard anything about him?’

  Ruby felt her heart flutter as she placed her hand to her breast. ‘Not a word. I try not to think of him these days. From what I’ve read, there are many men who perished whose remains were never found. It must have been terrible over there, Derek; I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through.’

  Derek nodded thoughtfully. ‘Don’t think for one moment that we were all in the trenches fighting all the time. There was other work to be done, and we were also able to come away from the front on leave occasionally. Most of that time I spent with your Eddie, as well as Ernie Minchin. How life has changed . . .’ Derek stopped speaking to think. ‘My last memory is of when I was injured by a bombshell. If Eddie was injured, I don’t recall, as I was near to death. But during my pain and all the activity around me, I felt he was there, as someone was talking to me and trying to keep me conscious. I swear, when I look back, I feel it was Eddie – so he couldn’t have been killed, could he?’

  ‘But then wh
ere is he now?’ Ruby asked. ‘I would have thought that by now, if he had been killed – even if he’d been blown to smithereens – somebody in authority would have written to let me know. Therefore, my heart is telling me that somewhere my Eddie is alive. The problem is, I don’t know who to ask for information.’

  ‘That is something I might be able to help you with. I’ll write some letters and see what comes of it.’

  Ruby thanked him. ‘It would be a great help if you could, even if it’s bad news. I’ll have some closure, at least. In a way, I’ve already moved on with my life. So much has changed – but I do still love my husband. I need to know what happened to him.’

  ‘Ruby, I hope you don’t mind me asking . . .’ Derek looked uncomfortable as he tried to find the right words. ‘It’s like this. Mum wrote to me often, and when she did, she told me things about you and what you were doing. She implied that you weren’t faithful to Eddie.’

  Ruby shook her head. ‘I’ve never been unfaithful to my husband. I’m surprised Stella thought I had. I will say, in my defence, that she did act rather strangely towards me at times. You see, when Frank lived here as my lodger – when I was expecting Pat – he thought it best that we let the world see us as a couple. Frank was worried about my reputation, what with Eddie not being seen for some years, and then me expecting a child. Pat is Eddie’s,’ she added hastily. ‘He came back for just the one night and . . .’ She coloured up as she stumbled over her words.

  ‘There’s no need to explain to me,’ Derek smiled.

  ‘I want to. You seem to understand the friendship between Frank and Stephen. In a way, our deceit was convenient for me and for Frank. We both appeared to be respectable to anyone who watched us, which was important at the time. When Eddie returned before he headed off to the front, I explained everything to him, and as far as I knew our marriage was back on an even keel. We corresponded while he was away, and I thought all was well.’