Godscam
Page 3
Chris enters and approaches Sally. He does not even glance in Peter’s direction. Peter, Judy, and Chris are dressed as before.
CHRIS
Hello, Sally.
SALLY
Hello.
(She waits for him to begin)
CHRIS
(takes a seat beside her)
Cold weather, isn’t it? For November.
SALLY
You ought to know. Don’t you make the weather?
CHRIS
(Raises an eyebrow)
Just because I make it doesn’t mean that I can’t comment on it.
SALLY
Why don’t you make it summertime from now until Christmas. That would be a nice present for everyone.
CHRIS
That would be inappropriate. The flowers would bloom early, get caught in the frost and die.
SALLY
Keep the plants alive. That would be a miracle.
CHRIS
That’s not the way I want the world to be.
SALLY
You want to world to be like this?
CHRIS
Of course. That’s why I didn’t make it differently. It’s a wonderful world.
SALLY
It’s not totally wonderful. Why did you make so much evil in the world?
CHRIS
Ah. The big question. If God created the world, why did he create evil? And the big answer is…drum roll…
(Makes a drumming gesture with his hands)
I did not create evil.
SALLY
But you created everything.
CHRIS
I created man. Man creates all the real evil in the world. I made man with the capacity to do both good and evil. And I let him choose what to do about it. It’s not my fault that he chooses evil sometimes. I do my best to show him the right way.
SALLY
But you didn’t have to do that. You could have made man so that he can only choose good.
CHRIS
Nah. If I did that, then man wouldn’t be worth the effort that it took to create him. He would just be a puppet. I don’t want to spend eternity watching a puppet show. I want to populate heaven with the souls of people who are truly good.
SALLY
So it’s like a test? You want to see if people pass your test or not.
CHRIS
That’s a simple way of looking at it, but, yes, you can think of it as a test if you want.
SALLY
So am I passing your test?
CHRIS
Are you doing good?
SALLY
You tell me. It’s your test.
CHRIS
Some good, some bad.
SALLY
I think I’m doing pretty good. Better than most people.
CHRIS
This isn’t about most people. This is about how good you are compared to how good you could be. You are good, but you could be a lot better. You must do better.
SALLY
Are you telling me that if I die today, I’ll go to hell?
CHRIS
No. If you die today, you’re doing all right. But you aren’t going to die today. The question is: How good are you going to be when you do die?
SALLY
(with satisfaction)
If I’m doing all right so far, then I just have to keep it up for the rest of my life, however long that is, and then I breeze right into heaven.
CHRIS
Not quite. The bar keeps getting higher as you live longer. A baby isn’t required to do much of anything to get into heaven. He just gets in. An older child just has to make more right choices than wrong ones, and has to regret the wrong ones. A young adult, though, has to make a contribution to the world. A mature adult has to have made a substantial contribution. No one gets to rest on their laurels just because they were ahead at the halfway mark.
SALLY
It sounds like not many people get into heaven.
CHRIS
Not many do. But you can’t tell just by looking at them. Each person has a different admission criterion. The one thing that I can tell you, though, is that no one ever got a free pass. Everyone has to work at it to make it.
SALLY
So what do I have to do?
CHRIS
The best that you can. I’m here to help you do it. Just do what I say and you’ll be all right.
SALLY
(frowning)
What do you say?
CHRIS
(Looks around and looks directly at Peter for the first time, pretending not to know him)
See that guy over there?
SALLY
(Looks at Peter)
Yeah. What about him?
CHRIS
What do you think about him?
SALLY
He looks like a bum. We help people like that at our shelter.
(gestures to the hanging pot)
That’s what the money goes for.
CHRIS
(softly)
Well, he is not a bum. He doesn’t need your shelter. But he does need your help. I’ll tell you what I want you to do.
(Chris stands, walks around Sally until his back is turned to Peter, leans close, and speaks directly into her ear for a minute. Too quietly for the audience to hear)
SALLY
(nods in agreement at first, then blurts out loud)
I can’t do that.
(Sally cranes her neck to look at Peter again. Peter ignores her)
CHRIS
(Speaking loudly enough to get her attention again)
Yes, you can.
(less loudly)
You have to have faith.
(Then begins speaking too quietly for the audience to hear again. Sally nods slowly and unhappily)
CHRIS (cont’d)
(Finally, Chris speaks loudly again)
Go now. And I’ll see you here on Monday at this same time.
(Chris leaves the stage)
SALLY
(Watches Chris leave. Then waits for a minute, indecisive. Makes a couple of false starts in Peter’s direction. Finally, she takes a deep breath, draws her shoulders back, sets her chin, and approaches Peter)
Hello.
PETER
(Taken aback. He did not expect to be a player in this drama)
Hello.
SALLY
I want…
(She pauses, unable to think of a way to phrase her request)
PETER
Yes?
SALLY
I want you to…
(She pauses again. In torment)
PETER
(Hopeful. Encouraging)
Yes? What?
SALLY
I…I was wondering if you would…
(She stops again)
PETER
(As agreeable as he can be)
I’m sure I would. What do you want me to do?
SALLY
(quietly)
Take me…take me to…
PETER
To where?
SALLY
On Saturday…
PETER
Sure. Where on Saturday?
SALLY
On Saturday, take me to the…
(quietly)
the party.
PETER
What was that?
SALLY
(Loudly, but uncertain)
The party? I heard that there was a party.
PETER
(ecstatic)
Yes! God, yes. The party. I’ll take you to the party. Yes. Thank-you, God.
SALLY
(Looks like she is about to make a run for it. Then stops and holds her ground, and replies reluctantly)
Where is it?
PETER
Where’s what?
SALLY
The party.
PETER
At Henry’s apartment. I’ll take you there. About nine?
SALLY
Ok.
PETER
Where should I pick you up?
SALLY
At… at the church on the corner of Main and Second Street?
PETER
Ok. I’ll be there.
SALLY
At about a quarter after nine?
PETER
You got it. Nine fifteen it is.
SALLY
At the parking lot at the side? You can just wait in your car there? Please?
PETER
Ok. I got you. I’ll just wait in my car. It’s an old yellow car. You’ll recognize it. You don’t see too many like it any more.
SALLY
Ok. I’m sure that I’ll find it.
PETER
I’ll see you there.
SALLY
Ok.
PETER
Ok, then.
(He stands and turns as though to go, then looks at her and pauses)
Uh…
SALLY
What?
PETER
Umm… You’re not going to…
SALLY
What?
PETER
Umm… Do you know what you’re going to wear?
SALLY
(pauses for a minute, looks at herself in her uniform, then smiles slightly)
Yes.
PETER
What?
SALLY
Don’t worry. You’ll recognize me.
(Sally turns and walks back to her chair without waiting for his response. Peter watches her sit back down, then he exits behind her, looking back at her and raising his fist in the air, to pump it once in a triumphant gesture)
JUDY
(When the stage has cleared of the men, stands and approaches Sally)
What did you just do?
SALLY
I just asked a strange man to take me to a party.
JUDY
Why in hell did you do that?
SALLY
Because God told me to.
JUDY
If that lunatic is God then I’m Satan.
SALLY
(amused)
Really? You’re Satan? I always suspected that.
JUDY
(sternly)
Who is this stranger that you’re supposed to flirt with?
SALLY
You know. You saw him over there when I was talking to him.
JUDY
Yeah. I saw him, the guy who looks like a bum, but what’s his name? What does he do?
SALLY
I don’t know his name. He’s a stranger. If I knew his name then he wouldn’t be a stranger, would he?
JUDY
No. And if you knew his name, then you might know if he’s a rapist, too. You go to some party with some stranger and you’re going to end up raped and strangled. Gang raped and strangled.
SALLY
No. God told me that that stranger needs my help.
JUDY
You need God’s help.
SALLY
(deliberately naïve)
I have God’s help. He helped me get invited to a party.
JUDY
(frustrated)
That lunatic is not God.
SALLY
If he’s not God, then how come he knew that the stranger was going to a party on Saturday night?
JUDY
That kind of creep always goes to a party on Saturday night. You saw how he was dressed.
SALLY
In blue jeans and a tee shirt?
JUDY
In dirty ripped blue jeans and a tattered black tee shirt with the name of a rock group on it. A group that Reverend Bob would call one of Satan’s bands.
SALLY
See how