Because I Love You

by A'zayler

  I stood in front of my bed rubbing my chin and trying to see what else would make that shit pop, I snapped my fingers. My olive-green bulletproof vest was gon’ set that shit off. I normally wore it under my clothes, but I was a nigga who liked to dress. I’d do anything out of the box if it made me shine, and that vest was about to hit.

  It didn’t take me long to get dressed, spray on some cologne, and tie my red bandana around my neck. A lot of my big homies were always getting on me for dripping my colors, but I ain’t pay their asses no attention. I was bloody as fuck and didn’t mind showing it. I wanted these niggas to see me and know who I was.

  If me being a young, hardheaded hoodlum or wild li’l gangsta, and a bunch of other shit I’d heard people call me, swayed my opinion of myself, then I was doing something wrong. I did what the fuck I wanted, and nobody would ever stop me. I’m my own man and the only person who ever understood that was Auto because he was the same way.

  Psychotic in my own different ways was dangerous, and I knew that, but I didn’t care. We all had to die one day, and when my time came, I’d be ready for it. There was absolutely no fear in my blood, and even though it was the thing that made these niggas hate me, it was the same thing that made them love me too. They already knew who to call when they needed to make something drip, which was why they represented for me so hard. Tonight would be no different.

  Almost two hours had passed before I finally decided to show my face. The party house was packed, and I could tell that by the number of cars outside. There was probably no telling what the hell was about to pop off up in that muthafucka. The party house was gangland, period. Bloods, Crips, Folks, and anybody else who repped a set partied in that bitch.

  Gunshots, murders, and all types of physical assaults resonated through those walls, and we all kept on coming. Just like some fools, we’d come, post up, and start shit if necessary. Some nights went alright depending on the crowd and the amount of liquor being served, but others were a straight bloody brawl. Why in the fuck we brought our asses through the door repeatedly was something I didn’t know. Just stupid hood shit, I guess.

  “Yo, BB, I’m out here,” I spoke once my OG answered the phone.

  “Bet, I’m about to send one of the homies to the door.”

  “Yeah.” I ended the call and stuffed my phone into my pocket before I leaned forward and grabbed my heat from under my seat.

  Another thing that set me apart from these older dudes was that I didn’t carry simple guns. I toted my Mac 11 with me everywhere I went. That Uzi didn’t play with niggas. I’d clear a muthafucka out by myself; did it before and wouldn’t blink to do it again. Once I got out and secured it in the holster under my arm, I pulled at my bandana to make sure it was secure and closed my door.

  Eyes were on me immediately. I was an obvious eyesore. For one, I was light skinned as hell, a gold mouth dog with big, blondish free formed dreads, gold jewelry draped a nigga’s neck and wrist, swagged the fuck out, and not giving two fucks about the red flag covering my neck. I was with whatever they were with, and because niggas knew that, they tucked their heads as I passed by.

  I nodded at a few of the niggas throwing up the blood sign while mugging the fuck out of the group of niggas dressed in blue. They could kiss my ass if they wanted to see me. I took the stairs, not bothering to watch my back as I made my way up to the house. One of my partners who I knew from around the way was waiting for me at the door. We did a quick handshake and moved back into the main room.

  It was dark as hell. Smoke and the smell of weed greeted me. I almost closed my eyes when the loud hit my nostrils. I hadn’t smoked all day, and I needed it bad as hell. Joshua had offered me his earlier, but if he thought I was about to share anything with him and that hoe, he was mistaken as hell.

  “Where the green?” I checked my boy as he stopped to hear what I was saying.

  He nodded toward where I could see an array of red. It made me hype to see my niggas were heavy in this bitch tonight. I was a firm believer that there was power in numbers, and my niggas were out here tonight.

  “What I Did” by Yella Beezy, and my nigga Gates blasted from every corner of the room while niggas and ghetto bitches littered different areas of the floor. I kept a straight face as I made my way to my people. It was crowded as fuck, and I’d hate to kill a nigga about accidentally stepping on my shoes. With the type of banger I was, that would happen faster than it probably should.

  “Blood, what’s good?”

  “Egypt, what’s popping, youngin?”

  Two of my big homies greeted me while dapping me up and passing me some liquor. I took the bottle and popped the top, preparing to enjoy my night. I could already see that it was about to be a good one. The music and vibe were topping my high off at just the right speed, and I couldn’t imagine it getting any better. I was feeling too good leaning against the wall and bobbing my head to the music with a blunt hanging between my lips.

  I’d rolled my own and had been hitting it slow, allowing myself to relax a tad. I stayed on go, so I would never be too relaxed, but I was with my niggas, and if I didn’t know anything else, blood was gon’ step. Hands down, we were hitting, shooting, whatever it took for our respect. Tonight was no different, so I was chilling. My body was calm and swaying like hell from the overwhelming strength of my green. With low eyes, I surveyed the room.

  There were women everywhere. None that I would really kick it with, though. They were too ghetto for me. Any bitch who was partying in the party house clearly didn’t give a fuck. You could lose your life at any given moment up in this piece, and I knew that. Most niggas did and didn’t give a fuck about it, but I guess I just held women to a different standard. They needed to care more about themselves. The ones in there were too okay with dying. But since that was none of my business, I was cool with watching them dance and shit.

  I might not have liked their choice of weekend festivities, but I did like their clothes and bodies. The hood did nothing better than breed thick bitches. Ass and titties for days. It might have come from the three or four kids they had, but ass was ass. It didn’t matter how you got it.

  I was ogling a big booty dark skinned girl with a long ass sew in when she stood up and smiled. Not at me, though. Her friend had just walked up with a sew in just as long as hers, only hers was wavy. It was big as hell, and I had to admit, I actually liked it. I knew off the bat it was weave because I didn’t care how nicely it laid, didn’t no black girl from Dade County have no long ass silky hair like that.

  The friend had more on one side than the other, which made seeing her face easier. I was nodding my head to the beat of a Gates song when the friend said something and laughed. Something shiny in her mouth caught my attention quick as hell. I couldn’t really tell what it was, but I could bet it was a grill. I loved that shit.

  She and the big booty chocolate girl laughed together, touching each other in that girly ass way. They were all in each other’s face, and I was enthralled as hell. They both had banging bodies that would keep a nigga stiff. Another pull of my blunt and a song change had me ready to ask them to run a threesome for me. That li’l girly twerk for me joint that was hot right then was playing, and they were dancing together. Together, together.

  Big booty was bent over with her ass on her friend and working the hell out of her ass. I’m talking about ass shaking every kind of way. I was amazed and drooling like hell. I loved the hell out of her. I chuckled, high as hell and in love with the women in front of me. Her friend was holding onto both sides of her waist as she bounced her ass to the beat.

  “Shid, that needs to be me,” I mumbled to myself in a daze.

  If that wasn’t enough, big booty stood up, and they traded places. If I thought she could dance, her friend was a damn gift to earth. The way she moved had my mouth hanging open. She was bent over with her mouth tooted up like she knew she was wrecking shit. Her confidence was all in her stance and movements and in my damn head. I stood back and watch
ed them dance together in their own world. Both women declined the men who had walked up to them.

  “So, darling, darling twerk for me.” On cue, all the women yelled that part.

  I had to laugh. That song had all the bitches in the mood. Once I was able to tear my eyes away from the duo, I looked around the room, and ass was going everywhere. Almost all these hoes had their heads down with their asses up. Shawty went off on that song, definitely a hit. Somebody needed to hit her up and let her know that the clubs appreciated that joint. If they didn’t, I know I did.

  “You want that over here?” BB’s voice caught my attention.

  I looked at him with a confused expression. “What you mean?”

  “You know that’s Brina.”

  The fuck? Hell nah I ain’t know that was Brina. It was so dark up in that muthafucka that all I could really make out was her shape, and that was because of the loud colored dress she was wearing. Furthermore, there was no way I could have known that was her. BB never brought her around street shit. He was bugging letting her shake her ass in the party house. I still should have recognized her face, though. Zebrina was like another big sister to me. Damn, that weed had me bugging. I had been caught up like hell.

  “It’s cool, don’t sweat it. She is looking good as a muthafucka.” BB’s calm response was typical of him.

  I was still high as hell and feeling crazy for looking at his woman, and all he did was chuckle and pat my shoulder before looking away. I didn’t see who this nigga was talking to, but the next thing I knew, one of my niggas was talking to the Zebrina and her homegirl. They were leaned in so they could hear him. When he pointed in my direction, they squinted before smiling and walking toward us.

  “Oh, hell nah, BB. You know I don’t want no hoes that close to my pockets.”

  “You got to make time to live, young blood.”

  I wanted to object, but since the women were halfway to where I was, I just nodded. The closer they got the better I could see them. Zebrina was bad as fuck with more body than I’d ever seen in my life. That dress she was wearing wasn’t letting up. It was tight, and she was thick as hell.

  Her friend was just as stacked; not as thick, but she wasn’t lacking. They fit together. I loved it when chicks hung with other chicks who looked just as good as them. I couldn’t stand seeing one friend who looked better than all her homegirls. In my opinion, if that was the case, it was time for a circle change. Either the fine friend was fake and was only trying to stunt on the basic ones, or the ugly ones were blind and didn’t know what the fuck leveling up meant. Either way, it was all wrong, and obviously a problem these two didn’t have.

  The darkness became clearer the moment they were in front of me, and my high was blown. Not this bitch. I should have fucking known when I saw Zebrina in here acting an ass that it was her that she was with. I sucked my teeth because I was going out too bad. First, it was Zebrina who I hadn’t recognized, and now it was this hoe too.

  Her hair hadn’t been like that earlier, and where in the hell had gold grills come from? Damn, she’d switched it up. I could appreciate it, but she still wasn’t about to sit nowhere near my lap. Hoe wouldn’t pick my pockets. My mouth opened to say something, but she beat me to it.

  “You got this, Zebrina. I’m about to walk back over here,” I heard her yell after glancing in my direction.

  She immediately turned to face her. “Why, Zay? What’s wrong?”

  I watched as Dream cut her eyes at me before whispering to her.

  “Say that shit out loud.” My voice dragged out a little slower than normal, but she heard me. I knew it for a fact when she rolled her eyes.

  Versus giving in to my rudeness, she turned her nose up and said something else to her friend. I watched them huddle together, whispering like some little ass girls.

  “Aye, Azayna, show my young gunna some love.” BB took them both under each of his arms but turned Dream in my direction. “Let me get Brina out y’all way for a minute.” He pecked Zebrina’s forehead and walked off with her tucked deep under his arm.

  I shook my head at the sly smirk he shot me as he left. That nigga thought this was funny when it wasn’t. I didn’t do bitches, and especially not pussy selling ones.

  I watched her look at me while singing along to the song. That same twinkle that was always there was in its rightful place and gleaming through the dimly lit atmosphere. Even with her face still frowning, I could see her. She wanted me bad as hell. I chuckled, and she sucked her teeth. Yeah, she was definitely feeling the kid. Since I was high and felt like fucking with her, I reached out and grabbed the back of her neck.

  Like I already knew she would, she called herself putting up some type of fight and dragged her feet as she walked to me. I laughed again. She just wanted somebody to beg her ass, and since I was floating out of my mind, I’d fuck with her for a minute. She’d better thank God for weed, or else she would have still been standing there looking lonely as hell.

  I pulled at her until she was wedged between my legs sideways with her shoulder to my chest. I made sure her ear was near my mouth, so that she could hear me.

  “Why you being difficult?” I asked. She shrugged and leaned closer to me. “You don’t want to dance with me?”

  More shoulder shrugs came. She was hanging on to that little mad act hard as hell, but I was the right one. I was a mad ass nigga. I could tame a mad woman with no problem. A little attitude could turn into one of two things. It could either be an argument or foreplay. Even though I wasn’t for either of them with her, it wouldn’t hurt to flirt a little. If I hadn’t recognized her, then these other niggas probably hadn’t either, so I was good.

  “Come on and get a li’l closer. Dance on me for a minute. I saw you out there doing your thing.” I let my lips touch her ear to fuck with her a little more. “You almost made me come snatch you up.”

  She smiled and held her head down before covering her face with one hand.

  “You would have liked that too, wouldn’t you?”

  This time, she looked over her shoulder at me, and for the first time out of all of the times I’ve seen her, I didn’t see her as a prostitute. She actually looked innocent and pretty like a woman should. When she nodded, I licked my bottom lip. Her eyes followed my tongue before coming back to my face.

  “Turn around and let me touch up on you while you dance for me.”

  I didn’t wait for her to answer me; I grabbed her hips and spun her around.

  Her ass felt good as hell to me too. I would have blamed it on the weed, but that would have been a lame ass lie, and I wasn’t no lame ass liar. On some real shit, her body was soft, she smelled good. Crazy as it sounded, she felt clean. Nothing like I’d been thinking of her in my head.

  Lucci’s “YFN” was playing, and versus bending over, she began moving against me while standing up. I looked down as soon as she made her first move and watched the way she worked my dick with every turn of her hips. She was really lit. I’d been dogging li’l mama, but she was on some cool ass shit. So much so that I started feeling her and myself even more. That fucking weed. I should have never hit that shit. I was out of my mind.

  Relaxed and chilling hard as hell, I leaned back and dug out a stack of cash. I released one side of her waist and held my blunt securely between my lips as I popped the rubber band on my money. I looked around where I was standing, and all my bloods were in pretty much the same situation as me. Liquor was rolling, blunts were smoking, and baddies were everywhere.

  Smoke overpowered our corner as we all laid back enjoying ourselves. BB and Zebrina were in the back boo’d up, looking like ghetto royalty, while Dream stood there blowing my mind. Shid, shawty was magic on the dick. I could see why she was in the profession she was. If she could dance this good, I could only imagine how she fucked.

  “You trying to get on my good side ain’t you?” I asked her as I allowed the money to slide out of my hand and over her body.

  She watched it fall aroun
d her while she danced. A cute li’l smile tugged at her lips as she looked at me out the side of her eye.

  “Nah, fuck your good side.” Her smile grew. “Just enjoy this dance. You deserve it.”

  “How you know what I deserve?”

  She tapped the side of her head. “I be knowing stuff, now relax.” She winked at me and grabbed my hand then wrapped it back around her waist.

  I was in thug Heaven chilling and throwing money. I don’t know how many songs had passed with her dancing for me, but when she stood to her feet completely like she was about to walk away, I pulled her back again.

  “Where you headed to?”

  She looked a little surprised, but then her face dropped some before she answered. “I think I’m about to go. It’s getting late, and up in here, that’s not good.”

  “Why you looking so sad?” I asked her before I could stop myself, and trust me, had I known I was going to sound that soft, I would have stopped myself. I sounded like a straight up pussy.

  She looked away and fluffed her hair up some. “No reason, just sleepy, I guess.”

  She was lying. She knew it, and I knew it. No need to call her on it. Too bad my high ass brain was on its own tonight. Just not giving a fuck. Had me going out too bad right then.

  “You sure? You can talk to me about it if you want.”

  Her eyes were shifty like she didn’t believe me, but I felt her lean back into me some, so she was at least contemplating it.

  A low snicker came from her as she shook her head. “Egypt, you don’t even like me.”

  “I know, but that don’t mean I won’t listen to you, though.”

  When she laughed, I did too. We stood there laughing like hell for a few seconds before she grabbed the bottom of my bandanna. As quick as she touched it, I moved it.

  “Come on now, you know better than that.” My voice was low and cool.