Because I Love You

by A'zayler

  Her warm breath on my neck made my body awaken. The softness from her body didn’t help. She was so damn soft when I hugged her back. She was tucked snugly in my embrace, and I had no plans to let her go. She felt good and smelled better. To make matters worse, she was rubbing the back of my neck with her fingertips and making my dick rise with every touch.

  “Can I thank you?”

  She’d asked quietly, and I’d heard her even though I was acting like I hadn’t. I knew without her telling me, that her thanking me would include sex, and I really didn’t want that from her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the thought of the things I’d heard from other niggas.

  “Egypt?” her hands traveled to my dick. Totally against my will, it was starting to rise beneath her touch, so I had to push her away.

  “Nah, you ain’t got to do that. Your happiness is thanks enough.” I did my best to get myself out of it, but she was relentless.

  She’d just pulled out of my embrace and was resting all that ass on the balls of her feet. Her eyes were deep and promising me all types of shit as her hands found the waistband of my gym shorts.

  “Nah, just chill with me. We ain’t got to do all that.” I grabbed both of her wrists and just looked at her, hoping some sentimental eye contact would chill her out some.

  “Please.” Her expression was innocent and pleading as she stared up at me. “I really just want to say thank you.”

  My defenses were weakening the longer I stared at her. “You already said it. That was cool, ma.”

  “You just don’t want sex from me.” She nodded slowly and stood from the floor. “I get it.”

  Shit. I felt bad as hell as I watched the way her whole mood dampened. I didn’t know if she really wanted to suck my dick that badly or that all she was used to. I mean, I was sure she probably could get down on it, but I still wasn’t really rocking with her on nothing like that.

  The gift was really to make me feel better. If I let her top me off, that would just be me doing too much. That look in her eyes, though. Damn, that fucking look had me rethinking my own self. It was so raw that it had me feeling horrible all over again. This girl was becoming a real problem.

  “Come back over here with me and tell me something right quick.”

  She waited for a minute but came crawling back to me and sat in the same spot she’d been in moments prior. Unable to stop myself, and not wanting to, I rubbed the bottom of her lip with my thumb. She allowed it for a few seconds before sucking it into her mouth. I’ll be damned if she ain’t take me two seconds from an orgasm the way she sucked on it.

  “Tell me what you do with those other niggas,” I requested while she was still sucking my thumb.

  She stopped as soon as the words left my mouth. “I don’t want to talk about that with you, Egypt.”

  “I want to know, so we don’t do none of it. I don’t want nothing we do to mimic any of that trick shit.”

  My thumb fell from her mouth when her head dropped. The way she carried on right then almost made me think she was actually ashamed of the stuff she was doing, but I knew that couldn’t be it because she always did it so shamelessly.

  “Come on, baby. Don’t—”

  “Please don’t call me baby. That’s what Master calls me and I… I don’t want to equate you with that part of my life.”

  I nodded my understanding.

  “I know what you think of me, but it’s wrong. Just like I know what you’ve probably heard, but that’s wrong too. Even though I know you’re probably not going to believe a word I’m saying, it’s going to be the truth.” She paused, and I waited. “I don’t do oral sex with anyone. I’ve only ever done it to Master, and that’s because he makes me, but nobody else. He doesn’t allow that with them. I don’t know why they always lie and say that I do, but I really don’t.” She looked at me quickly before looking back down at the floor. “I have sex with them, but there’s always condoms and no weird shit. I mean, we switch positions, but I—”

  I raised my hand to stop her. I didn’t want to hear that shit for real. “Come here.” I held my hand out and pulled her on top of me.

  I’d laid back on the sofa with my head resting on one of her pillows. Now that she was seated on top of me, I could see and feel her better. She still wasn’t looking at me, so I turned her face so that she had no other choice. The warmth between her legs felt so good that I could have fallen asleep if the circumstances were different.

  “Listen, it's just you and me right now. You don’t have to feel no type of way. I promise all your secrets are safe with me. I ain’t saying shit to nobody, so try to relax.”

  Her body slumped some as she nodded. “You make me so nervous. Being myself around you is hard. It’s like I’m scared to hear what you really think of me. I’ve dreamed about being with you so many times like this, and to finally be here with you being so… nice, I just don’t really know how to act.”

  I smiled because I’d known all along that she’d been checking for me. “Why dream about me? I don’t do nothing no different from them other niggas.”

  “Because you’re not them. You don’t undress me with your eyes or drool like a dog in heat when I’m around. That’s so annoying, but you never do it. You’re always so calm like I’m not even there, and that feeling is addicting.” Her fingers found their way beneath my shirt and began to play with my belly button. “I’m chased so much that sometimes it feels good to be ignored.” She snickered. “It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s the truth. You make me feel like a normal girl.”

  “A normal girl, huh?”

  She nodded.

  “Well, tell me this, why do the stuff you do if you don’t really like the way it makes you feel?” She still wasn’t looking at me, so I squeezed one of her thighs until she did. “Look at me when we talk. I understand if you have to glance off occasionally, but I like eye contact.” She nodded. “And I like your dreads and your real eyes. Those blue contacts you be wearing look retarded as fuck.”

  When she fell over laughing, she covered her face, and I swear her skin brightened beneath the lights. Maybe it was the bulbs, or maybe it was the simple fact that her smile was actually real this time. On my mama, I got high off that shit.

  “You so pretty, man.” I rubbed up her leg again, this time going further and gripping the side of her waist too. “Too pretty to be doing this ugly bitch shit. You know that?”

  Her smile faded some as she stared at me as if she was in some sort of daze. She nodded and shrugged at the same time, so I didn’t know if she agreed with me or not.

  “Why you wear all that ugly shit anyway? Your feet gon’ have corns after while if you keep wearing them cheap ass shoes.”

  More of that beautiful laughter filled her living room. Never in all the time I’ve known her had I recognized just how pretty she really was. I literally felt like I was seeing her for the first time, and I’d known of her for well over five years.

  “I wear it to hide myself, kind of like a costume. I don’t really be wanting them to know the real me or how I really look, so I dress up.”

  “You definitely be hiding because I would have never known you looked like this.” My eyes went from her hair to her face then on down to her nipples.

  I’m nasty as hell, so I looked at them for a little bit longer, even reached up to touch the ring I saw in one of them. I tried not to probe too long and get anything started, but when she inhaled and closed her eyes, my whole body shook.

  “You tripping like that?” I had to ask. “I know that li’l bitty touch ain’t hype you up enough to be breathing that deep.”

  She smiled bashfully and held her head down to hide her face. Her thighs tightened on both sides of my body as she tensed up from my touch. I was holding on to both of her wrists, trying to pry them from her face.

  “What I just tell you?”

  “I know what you said, but still,” she spoke to me from behind her hands.

  “Still what? Move your
hands and tell me.” I laughed at her because she was really bugging right now. Hiding and shit like we weren’t the only two people in her spot.

  Her hands dropped slowly, revealing her face in slow motion. Breath fucking taking, I kid you not. This was not the same girl from the block. It couldn’t be. My mind was turning in more and more circles with each glimpse of her beauty.

  I needed to find whoever had invented makeup and wigs because they were some muthafucking geniuses. That shit could obviously hide anything. It had literally hidden her from me for years because this was not who I’ve seen all this time.

  “You’re really here with me.” She blushed “And saying stuff like this… to me of all people.” She fell over and hid her face again. “I just don’t believe it. Pinch me!” She moved her hands and raised her eyebrows at me like I wasn’t about to do the shit.

  I pinched the fuck out of her ass. When she jumped and grabbed her butt, I cracked up. “You woke now?”

  “Now you know you ain’t have to pinch me that hard.” Her little punch to my chest ain’t hurt shit, so I just moved her hand and rubbed the spot I’d just pinched.

  The longer I rubbed it, the more bashful she got. I can’t even front on my own self; it was cute as hell. I felt where she was coming from, even if I was acting like being with her was the most natural thing in the world. I was shocking my own self. Never would I have ever, ever, thought she would be the person, let alone the female I let my guard down with.

  “I feel so happy right now,” she whispered as she went back to playing with my stomach.

  I smiled coolly and went back to gripping both sides of her waist. “I’m enjoying it too.” I winked at her, and she smiled big as hell. “Now, back to what we were talking about. Why do you do this?”

  “For money. That’s it.”

  “So, finding a regular job just doesn’t make sense, huh?”

  “That’s not it. It’s just that I’ve been doing this for so long now, I’m just comfortable with it.”

  See, now I had to stop her. “There can’t be shit comfortable about fucking different niggas all day every day.”

  She frowned. “I don’t do it like that. There are only certain ones I trick with. Majority of them come from Master. He’s either introduced me to them or given me their names, so when they approach me, I know it’s okay. And like I said, it’s not much. A few pumps in the missionary position, maybe four or five minutes from the back, and I’m done. They never really last long, and I don’t do anything to prolong it.” She shrugged, no longer looking at me

  My first instinct was to get on her about it, but I could feel the subtle jumping in her thighs and stomach as I held her. Her nerves were shot out, and looking at me would only make it worse.

  “When I first started, I didn’t even know I was a prostitute. Some dude approached me, took me out to eat, to the mall, bought me a few outfits, and then we had sex. I was young; I thought he liked me. Later, I found out that Master had sent him. He’d told me life would only get better if I kept doing such a good job. I figured, what the hell? I was getting money and clothes out of the deal, but of course, that eventually stopped, and all I was doing was fucking.”

  “Why didn’t you stop then? You had to know what you were turning into.”

  “I did know, to a certain extent, but after my granny passed, I didn’t have anyone else. Master was the only person always showing love, making sure I was good and stuff, so I just stayed.”

  I rubbed the front of her stomach with the pad of my thumb. “And that’s still your reason?”

  “What is?”

  “Loyalty?”

  She nodded. I got it. He’d been there for her, so she felt obligated to be there for him.

  “I already know he’s getting money off you, but how often do you fuck that nigga?”

  She looked away again, and I knew she was about to deliver some fucked up shit.

  “At least once a week, and I don’t know why because he can have any one of his girls, but he always picks me.” The annoyance in her voice relayed her truest feelings.

  “Pussy probably hitting right,” I joked to bring her out of her dwindling mood. “He probably can’t get enough.”

  “I don’t care. He needs to get it from somewhere else. I just be wanting to be at home chilling, but he stays hitting my line. He acts like I’m his girlfriend.”

  The fuck? I shook my head and cleared my throat. I wasn’t really feeling our conversation anymore, so I was finna’ end it.

  “Well, I’m gon’ tell you like this. I don’t like that shit at all, but I kind of like you, so we just gon’ pretend that when we’re together, you don’t do none of that. Cool?”

  She blushed and covered her face again. Of course, I pulled her hands right back down. I had her going, and I knew it. Her face showed it as she looked down at me.

  She touched the side of my mouth and sighed. “Can I kiss you?”

  Why in the hell did she keep asking me those mean questions? And by mean, I meant the answer I was going to give her. If I wouldn’t even let her suck my dick, she had to know I wasn’t feeling actually kissing up on her.

  “I don’t kiss.”

  “What do you do then?”

  “Chill.”

  She nodded and waited for a minute before leaning over me and putting her mouth on my neck. The next thing I knew, I felt her tongue slithering along the side of it then up to my ear. I sucked air through my teeth and tightened my grip on the side of her body. Her tongue was so warm and wet combined with her touch. I was gon’ end up fucking this girl if she didn’t stop.

  “Whoa, li’l baby, chill.” I pushed her away some, and she sat up, looking like she might have been embarrassed. “I don’t… I don’t really want us to go that far.”

  “It’s okay, I understand,” she told me while climbing off my lap.

  She was still next to me on the sofa, but she looked a little more withdrawn now. I really hated to make her feel some type of way, but I just didn’t think fucking her would be the right thing to do for me.

  “Azayna.”

  “Huh?”

  I sat up and touched her cheek. “You alright?”

  She nodded but still didn’t look at me.

  “Come here, boo.” I used her wrist to pull her closer to me. “Don’t feel bad, I just don’t want us to put ourselves in no crazy situations. You feel me?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “What you know?” I tickled her stomach, and she snickered sweetly.

  “That you don’t want to have sex with me, but you don’t want to hurt my feelings either.” She winked at me. “I get it.”

  She was looking at me, and I was looking right back at her. Her beautiful brown skin, long natural hair, gorgeous fucking face, and that cute ass little mouth. Got dammit, she was fucking with me. Really fucking with me, trying to sit there looking all innocent when she was obviously anything but.

  “Come back over here with me.”

  When she came, she sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel the attraction getting stronger and harder to fight, and to be quite honest, I didn’t even know if I felt like fighting it anymore. She wasn’t Dream right now anyway; she was Azayna. Azayna wasn’t a prostitute, she was a sexy ass female with a bomb ass personality that was making me want her.

  “I like your real name better.”

  She blushed. “Me too.”

  “That’s all I’ma call you from now on. You’re Azayna to me, not no fucking Dream.” I pushed her hair from her neck and sucked on it until she moaned for me. “Dream is a hoe. Azayna is my thug remedy.”

  The way she attacked me after that was too hard to fight. Baby was on me in every way that she could be. I’m talking about her hands and mouth were all over my neck and face. She respected my boundaries, though, and didn’t hit my mouth, but she sure as hell was bringing my boy to join the fun. The way she grinded her hips on me had me instantly solid.

  “Egypt,�
�� she moaned in my ear.

  “What, ma?”

  “I want this.” She looked into my eyes. “I really, really, want this.”

  I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted, but I had an idea, and a part of me wanted it too. I ain’t say nothing, nor did I do anything when she slid out of my lap and back to the floor in front of me. This time, when her hands came to the band of my shorts, I didn’t stop her. I let her pull my shorts and my briefs to my ankles. My joint was standing tall and was ready for whatever she was ready for.

  Her eyes found mine, and she watched me while lowering her head into my lap. I wanted to scream, buck, cry, all that in one as she bobbed her head up and down on me. My knees were jumping like hell, and I was getting turned on more and more as she slurped and moaned like my dick was the best one she’d ever tasted. I had a hand full of her hair, gliding her up and down forcefully.

  “Moan, Egypt.” She pulled back and flicked her tongue around the head. “Moan, I want to hear what you sound like.”

  I nodded and took another deep breath. She was talking about moaning, but in a minute, I was gon’ scream. Fuck a moan. I was about to need some pussy bad if she didn’t stop soon. I loved getting my joint sucked on, but I loved being in some wet pussy way more.

  “Fuck this shit.” I moaned and stood from the sofa.

  She fell back some, and I yanked her right back up, this time to her feet in front of me. “Take that shit off,” I commanded while removing my own clothes.

  I watched her get naked in front of me, and my mouth got wet as fuck. Big, full breasts, flat stomach, wide hips, and a fat pussy. I could see it waiting for me, and I was about to fuck her world up with some dick. Had I known she was about to fuck mine up too, I would have fucked and loved on her sooner.

  When we were both naked, I picked her up and carried her to the back of the house. I didn’t know which one was her room, but I ended up finding it with no problem. She was licking and kissing my neck the whole way, pulling my climax closer and closer.

  “Stop before I nut and can’t fuck you.”

  She snickered and nodded. I had just about made it to the bed when she grabbed the bottom of my face and kissed me. I mean really fucking kissed me. Tongue and all types of aggressive shit. I was damn near in love, and I hadn’t even wanted to kiss her. Still didn’t, to be honest, but it felt good.