Her Deepest Fear

by Kelly Utt

“What are you talking about? “James asked. “I am, honest to God, concerned about you, Cate. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. I thought you just needed some time, but this is extreme. What, are you going to tell the kids their father is alive after they buried him in that cemetery two weeks ago? If you can’t come to your own senses, think of the kids.“

  “James, I love you, but stop belittling me and talking down to me like I’m a child who doesn’t know what she’s doing.“

  James shook his head from side to side and stepped a few feet away. He raised both hands in the air out of exasperation. “Just answer one question for me then,” he said. “If you think your husband is alive, why in the hell have you been sleeping with Neil Fredericks?“

  Tears began to flow harder and faster down Cate’s face. Of all the things to sort through, her relationship with Neil was the one that would cause her the most pain. She had thought her husband was dead and buried. She never in a million years would have gotten romantically involved with another man if she had known Mick was still alive. Yet she had real feelings for Neil. Their relationship was growing stronger and she thought they might have a future together. She wished her brother would have more compassion and not throw this dilemma in her face so callously.

  “Do you remember me telling you about Pal the homeless man who sits outside of my building?“ Cate asked.

  “Yes, I do,“ James said. “You buy a breakfast sandwich and a coffee for him every morning. I know the story. What’s that got to do with anything?“

  “After I thought Mick was dead, Pal muttered something that disturbed me one morning. He said he had seen Mick talking to Tim Negley, the owner of Lorraine’s Diner.”

  “Okay. And?“

  “I tried to put it out of my mind, but what Pal had said kept bugging me and I couldn’t let it go. Yesterday morning, I went to Lorraine‘s myself and paid Tim a visit.“

  James sat down in a chair at the kitchen table next to his sister. He was becoming more interested in her theory as it started to sound more plausible. “Go on,” he said.

  “I made small talk at first, mentioning how our parents used to be friends with his mom, Lorraine. But then I flat out asked him if he knew anything that could help me make sense out of Pal’s comment. He acted cagey when he heard Mick’s name.“

  “Really?“ James asked, narrowing his eyes.

  “Yeah,” Cate continued. “Tim was hiding something. He tried to dismiss me, but I followed him back towards the kitchen and finally got his attention again. And when I did, he pulled me to the side and whispered that I was out of my depth and should leave it alone.“

  “Holy shit,” James said, leaning back in his chair and placing both hands on his head. He was thinking. “Do the detectives working your case know about this?“

  “No, not as far as I know,” Cate replied. Detective Hemming hasn’t mentioned it. And well, Neil and I don’t talk about the case when we see each other. Why?“

  James tapped one index finger along the top of his head as if he were debating whether not to tell Cate everything he knew. “I’ve been trying to look into things like you asked,” he said. “Luke Hemming has pretty much frozen me out. I haven’t been able to get anything useful from him. He knows I’m sniffing around and he doesn’t want you receiving preferential treatment.“

  “I get that,” Cate said. “But what I now know rises to a level such that I must find out what’s going on. I can’t sit around and wait for the police to investigate for me. Especially…”

  “Especially, because Luke Hemming wants to bring you in under arrest,” James said, finishing his sister’s sentence.

  “Exactly,“ Cate said. “I’d like to think it would be as simple as showing Detective Hemming this evidence to exonerate me, but I’d first like to find out what Mick is involved in and why he would fake his own death. If he’s in some kind of danger and was forced to do it, I could never forgive myself if I blew things for him and caused his actual death. We need to understand what’s happening before we tell Detective Hemming anything. There’s too much potential for confusion.”

  “Same goes for Neil Fredericks,” James added.

  The two of them sat quietly for several moments as they each thought about what to do.

  “Look, I’ll go down and talk to Tim Negley,“ James said. “I have to tread lightly so as not to interfere with Detective Hemming’s investigation. But I’ll see what I can find out.“

  “Good,“ Cate said, sounding relieved. “I’m going with you.”

  27

  The breakfast crowd at Lorraine's had thinned out by the time Cate and James arrived and the lunch rush had not yet begun. The sun was climbing higher in the sky now and the air outdoors was beginning to warm up. Cate knew Tim wouldn’t want to cooperate, but, at least, it seemed like a good time to catch him. A chime above the front door dinged as she and her brother walked inside. It was a day for moving fast. Neither Cate nor James had any interest in dragging things out. They needed answers and they needed them right away.

  Kai was there, working behind the counter. She recognized Cate from the morning prior.

  “Hi,“ Kai said in her cheerful voice. “Two for breakfast?“

  “Hello, Kai,” Cate said. “We’re just here to speak with Tim Negley. This is my brother James. He’s an officer with the Rosemary Run Police Department.“ James flashed his badge and a reserved smile.

  “Oh, yes, Miss. I’ll get him right away,” Kai said as she turned to head for the kitchen and the back office. It was obvious that James made her nervous. In less than two minutes, she returned to the front with news that Tim was unavailable.

  “That’s not a surprise,“ Cate said under her breath.

  “I’m sorry, Miss. Cate,” Kai said. Cate was surprised the young waitress remembered her name. Maybe Tim had mentioned it.

  James was beginning to get angry. Cate noticed that he had balled up one fist. His body was tense and he was ready to take action. “That’s alright,“ James said to Kai. “I’ll go to him. That way, he doesn’t have to stop what he’s doing to walk up front.” Cate’s eyebrows raised at her brother’s gall. She was glad to see him taking charge like this.

  “Oh, no, no, no,“ Kai said. “I can’t let you go back…“ But James was already through the kitchen door. Cate followed closely behind.

  James stomped loudly as he made his way through the kitchen, looking for Tim’s office. When he found it, he banged on the door and then let himself in without waiting. “Tim Negley,“ James said when he laid eyes on the man. Cate positioned herself just outside the office so she could watch for anyone trying to intervene. She would make sure that her brother was not interrupted.

  “Who are you? And what do you want?” Tim said, his voice echoing throughout the small kitchen. Cate thought he sounded afraid. And she thought he should. Employees were beginning to notice what was happening. Several had congregated together and were listening while they discussed whether or not to leave their posts until it was over.

  “I’m Officer James Tatum with the Rosemary Run Police Department. And I’m Cate Brady’s brother. You know our parents, Ron and Ellen Tatum.”

  “Oh,” Tim said.

  “Good. Now we’re all caught up.” James leaned over Tim’s desk so far he could have grabbed the man with both hands if he wanted to. “I understand my sister asked you some questions yesterday morning. But you didn’t give her any answers.”

  Tim squirmed in his seat. He looked like he was about to crawl out of his skin, he was so uncomfortable.

  “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” James asked as he leaned closer. “Maybe you need some… encouragement. You know, to convince you to talk. Huh?” Cate had never seen her brother like this. It was quite a thrill. She was impressed.

  “No…” Tim stammered, putting both palms out towards James and lowering his voice to a whisper. “I can’t. They’ve got eyes and ears all over this place.” He shook his head, trying to collect himsel
f. “Here’s what I can say. Watch the bar next door tonight-- Wingman’s Pub. Park around back by the dumpsters. Go in and order a few beers so you don’t look suspicious. Around nine o’clock, go outside like you’re leaving the property, then get into your car, kill your engine, and wait. You’ll get all your answers.”

  “I’d better,” James said. “Or I’m coming back.”

  28

  “He’s scared to death of something,” James said as he and Cate got back into the car. “Or someone.”

  “I agree,” Cate replied. “What do you make of it?”

  “It’s hard to say,” James said. “But if this is somehow related to a gang or other organized crime, it might explain why someone would try and fake their own death to get out of it. Those types of organizations don’t just let you go when you want to leave. Sometimes, you don’t even have a choice about getting involved with them in the first place.”

  “So, you’re saying what Mick did might have been justified?”

  “I don’t know yet,” James said as he put the car into gear and drove out of the parking lot. “But I’m going to Wingman’s tonight to investigate. You should stay home and watch the kids. We don’t need you putting yourself in unnecessary danger.”

  Cate knew her brother was right. Aaron, Jilly, and Niko needed her. If whatever Mick was involved in was serious enough that he’d had to fake his death, Cate and the kids should stay far away from it. But she couldn’t help being curious. She began to wonder again if she had underestimated the seriousness of the threat.

  “James, do you think the kids and I are in any danger?” she asked. “We know it was Mick in the house this morning because we caught him on camera...”

  “We don’t know that for sure and we won’t unless we see a living, breathing Mick. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” James explained as he turned his car onto Flock Hollow Lane towards Cate’s house to drop her off at home. She wasn’t ready to be left alone just yet. “As for your safety, I’m not sure what to think right now,” her brother continued. “You should take extra precautions.”

  “Hey!” Cate said, suddenly thinking about solutions. “We could have Mick’s grave exhumed. Then we’d find out that his body wasn’t there. Do you think the casket is empty? Oh… or maybe someone else’s body is in his place. That would be creepy. Also, we could dig deeper, pun intended, into the medical examiner who signed his death certificate.”

  “Yeah,” her brother answered. “That’s all true. But if we want to protect Mick, we don’t want to draw attention to this thing. At least, not until we know more. How about you leave the investigating to me?”

  Cate laughed. It was probably comical to hear her rattling on about investigation tactics based on nothing more than the crime television she’d watched over the years. “Right,” she said. “I guess that is your job, after all. I know you’re good at it.”

  As James pulled into Cate’s driveway, she was a ball of nerves. She was afraid to stay at home alone, although she didn’t want to let on. And she was a little afraid to run into Mick. What would they say to each other, after all? She wondered what exactly would go down at Wingman’s tonight. And she wanted desperately to call Neil and tell him what had happened.

  “Would you like me to come inside and take a look around?” James asked. “I don’t mind.”

  “No,” Cate replied. “I’m a big girl. I can always call if I need you. And I have the handgun. If someone tried to hurt me, I’d use it.”

  “Okay, then,” James said, patting his sister on the knee. “We’re going to get to the bottom of this. I promise. You hang in there a while longer.”

  Cate was glad that, finally, James was going to find out what was really going on. She wanted nothing more than to figure it out and to put this nightmare behind her, one way or another.

  29

  “I have some news,” Detective Luke Hemming said to his partner. They were eating lunch at their desks, watching an episode of a cop drama on Neil’s computer as they chewed on sandwiches and drank cold cans of cola from the vending machine.

  “Yeah?” Neil Fredricks asked.

  “I’m ready to make an arrest in the Mick Brady case.”

  “Oh, really?” Neil asked, fidgeting in his seat as he imagined Cate being brought into the station in handcuffs. “Who?”

  “The wife. It’s almost always the wife. You know that.” Luke stared intently at his partner and took some pleasure in watching his distress. Luke thought Neil needed to be taught a lesson about getting close to a suspect. It was bad form and it never should have happened. Luke intended to see that it never happened again. Not on his watch.

  Neil cleared his throat and tried to keep his voice level. “Did you turn up something I don’t know about? Because the evidence I’ve seen is all circumstantial. It’s not enough to make an arrest.“

  “That, I did,“ Luke said, looking pleased with himself.

  “Well, what is it?“ Neil asked.

  “Detective Fredericks, I mean no disrespect, but I’m aware of your relationship with the suspect. I’m sure you’ll understand why I am no longer comfortable sharing details of this case with you. I’m going to ask the chief that you be reassigned.“

  30

  Cate recognized Neil‘s phone number when her mobile phone rang. She was sitting at the kitchen table in her house, watching the security camera footage over and over again. She wasn’t sure she should tell Neil about any of this. There were complications now that she knew Mick was alive. Both personally and as related to the case. Cate realized that the situation she found herself in was precarious. If she made a wrong move and acted like she was hiding something, it could lead to her own arrest and possibly even conviction. On the flip side, if she divulged too much to the authorities, it could mean blowing Mick’s cover and placing him in harm’s way.

  After four rings with Neil waiting on the line, Cate answered, just before the call went to voicemail. “Hello, Neil,“ she said, her voice a mixture of tenderness and reserve.

  “Cate!” He said. I need to talk to you right away. But not in any of our usual spots. Is there somewhere you can meet me?“

  “Sure, I guess,“ she replied. “What’s this all about?“

  “I’ll tell you when I see you. Where?”

  “There’s a restaurant on the other side of town I haven’t been to in a long time…” Cate said.

  “That won’t work,” Neil interrupted. “It has to be somewhere private, where we won’t be seen or heard. It can’t be your house and it can’t be mine.“

  Cate thought for a moment. She wasn’t in the habit of sneaking around, so she wasn’t very good at it. “Okay, I know a place,” she said. “We can meet at my parents’ house. In their barn. They won’t mind.”

  “Good,“ Neil said. “Their place is out on Pleasant Valley Road, right?“

  “Yes, that’s right,” Cate confirmed. “I can be there in about twenty minutes.”

  Cate gathered her things to leave the house for the third time that day. She had already texted Laura to let her know she wouldn’t be back in the office. She had far too much on her mind to concentrate on work.

  The weather was still nice as she drove into Ron and Ellen’s driveway. It was a stark contrast from the raging storm which had been happening the last time she was here. The weather seemed almost too perfect. Cate thought about how it wasn’t right that the earth kept turning as if nothing was wrong on the days when ordinary lives were devastated.

  Neil hadn’t arrived yet, so Cate stopped in the house to make sure her parents were at work. Neither we’re home, so she locked everything back up and headed down to the barn, allowing Joey to tag along. The hired help had already been there and was gone for the day, leaving the place empty, aside from the Tatum’s animals. After saying hello to the animals and taking a look at the storm damage repair, Cate got settled in at a picnic table in the barn and waited for her lover to arrive. She thought about the man her dad had chased off the nig
ht of the storm and she wondered if it had been Mick. Her dad’s statement about the man not seeming aggressive had continued to stand out in her mind. She guessed it would make sense for it to have been Mick if he had, in fact, been watching over the family. Perhaps he was just checking in to make sure they were okay.

  Before she could get too lost in her own thoughts, Neil’s car sped down the gravel road and came to a stop next to Cate’s, outside of her parents’ red barn. Neil got out in a hurry and rushed to Cate, taking her into his arms and kissing her deeply. She had considered refraining from physical contact, but he scooped her up so fast and so passionately that she didn’t have time to resist. She didn’t want to resist.

  “Cate, my love,” Neil said once their lips parted. He had never called Cate his love before. It made her go completely weak in the knees. “Luke Hemming knows about us. He’s having me taken off the case.“

  Neil was talking so fast that Cate didn’t have a chance to mention her big news. “What?“ She asked. “What does that mean for…“

  “I hurried to meet you because Luke says he has enough evidence to make an arrest. To arrest you.“

  “That’s impossible,“ Cate said.

  “I thought so, too,” Neil said. “I told Luke that, as far as I knew, all the evidence against you was circumstantial and wasn’t enough to justify making an arrest. But he says he found something. He wouldn’t tell me what it was.“

  “But, really,” Cate said. “It’s impossible. Listen to what I’m telling you.“

  Neil lowered his eyebrows and a look of confusion spread across his face. “What am I missing?“ he asked.

  Cate took Neil’s hands in hers and stepped close to him, whispering into his ear. She wasn’t sure why she was doing it that way. It’s not like anyone would overhear them out there. Unless Mick was hiding nearby. But she thought that was unlikely. More likely, was that Cate couldn’t bear to look in Neil’s eyes when she said the words.