Her Deepest Fear

by Kelly Utt

  “It’s a long story,” she began. “And I’ll tell you all the details you want. But James and I have reason to believe that Mick is still alive.“

  “Still alive?” Neil asked, shocked. He wanted to pull back from Cate’s embrace and look her in the eye, but he didn’t. “That means…“

  “It means a lot of things,” Cate said. “But first and foremost, it means there’s no way I could have murdered him because there was no murder.“

  “That’s right,“ Neil said, getting excited. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got to stop them from arresting you.“ He turned and began to head for his car. His movements were becoming frantic. He was rattled by everything that was happening.

  “Not so fast!” Cate said, reaching out a hand and pulling him back to her. “We don’t know what’s going on yet, but we think Mick may have been in grave danger and that’s why he faked his own death. For all we know, he did it to protect me and the kids. We mustn’t let anyone else know he’s alive until we find out what Mick’s motivations were and what’s happening.“

  “And just how do you plan to do that?” Neil asked, exasperated.

  “We have a lead. James is going to check it out tonight,” Cate said.

  “Cate, I don’t think you understand,” Neil pleaded, desperately. “Luke is ready to make an arrest. He might arrest you before James has a chance to pursue that lead tonight. He won’t tell me any more about it, so I can’t be sure. But we need to stop it from happening. Once you’re arrested, it will be on your record forever. Think of your kids.“

  “I am thinking of my kids,” Cate replied with certainty. “I need you to find a way to buy me time. Just give me until tomorrow somehow. Let us see what we can find out. A man on good authority to know told James that we would have all of our answers tonight if he watched the bar at Wingman’s Pub. It’s out on the ridge next to Lorraine’s.”

  Neil began to pace back-and-forth on the dirt floor as Joey looked on. He wanted to do what was best for Cate and her kids. He was upset to learn that Mick was alive because it probably meant that Cate would go back to her husband. Neil had grown to care deeply for Cate in a short time and couldn’t imagine the thought of losing her. But regardless of how things turned out for him personally, he knew he would do anything for her. It wasn’t even a question anymore.

  “Okay,“ he said, walking back to Cate and putting his arms around her waist. Touching her was presumptuous now, but she was hard to resist.

  Cate’s insides stirred as she pressed herself against Neil and felt the heat coming off of his body. The feelings confused her. She wondered how she could desire another man when she knew that her husband was alive. Neil could tell what she was thinking, so he saved her the trouble of making any difficult decisions. At least, for now.

  “Just promise me you’ll let James handle this lead tonight,“ Neil said. “You’re not trying to go after him, are you?“

  Cate hesitated before she spoke. She was choosing her words carefully. “I know I should stay home with the kids,” she replied. “I’m not trained for this sort of thing.“

  “Good,“ Neil said, satisfied with her answer. “We’ll talk again soon. Be ever so careful.”

  31

  By the time evening arrived and darkness fell on Rosemary Run, Cate had already made up her mind. She tidied up the house, then baked a chicken casserole and ate dinner with Aaron, Jilly, and Niko. The four of them enjoyed a leisurely meal together, discussing things that were happening at school and reviewing tomorrow night’s plans for Halloween. Cate looked at each one of her children. She really looked at them. She considered what they had been through in the past couple of weeks and how resilient they had shown themselves to be. She thought about what their lives might be like if their father somehow came back home. And she thought about what their lives might be like if they somehow lost their mother.

  After dinner, Cate waited until she was sure James had already left home, then she called Rebecca to ask if she’d mind coming over to sit with the kids. Once she knew her sister-in-law was on the way, Cate went into her bedroom and pulled out the handgun that she and Mick had stashed in the top of the closet. She ran her finger over the cold, metal barrel and then looked at herself in the mirror as she pretended to aim and fire a shot. The moment Rebecca arrived, Cate slipped the handgun into her bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and headed for Wingman’s Pub.

  Cate turned off all of the lights on her SUV as she pulled into the parking lot at Lorraine‘s Diner and slipped into a spot out back. The supper crowd had already receded and there weren’t many people left inside the building. In fact, Cate noticed that there weren’t many people out at all that evening. It was almost eerie. She thought maybe people were staying in tonight because they had plans to be out tomorrow for Halloween. Maybe they were home making costumes or carving jack-o'-lanterns. It was already perfect weather for trick-or-treating: clear and cool with a brightly lit full moon. Cate hoped the weather would hold on through tomorrow.

  From where she had parked at the diner, Cate could see the back of Wingman’s Pub, including the dumpsters Tim had mentioned. She squinted her eyes to be sure and was able to identify James sitting in his car and watching the back door. It was almost eight o’clock and she knew her brother would be going inside soon to order a beer, just like Tim Negley had told him to. Cate intended to stay put and observe along with him. She didn’t need her brother’s permission to be there.

  Cate held her position in her vehicle and waited for over an hour before she saw anything other than James walking inside. It was cold, and even though she had worn a turtleneck and a thick sweater to keep warm, the bite was getting to her. When she saw a group of scary-looking businessman walk around the back of the building, she decided it was the perfect time to get out for a closer look. She figured moving around would help her warm up anyway. To be sure she was protected, Cate carefully loaded a round of bullets into the handgun, then secured the weapon in a strap attached to her ankle. She stepped out of her SUV quietly, taking care to lock the doors by hand and to close them very gently.

  Cate walked gingerly along the grassy embankment at the back of the parking lot that was shared by Lorraine‘s and Wingman’s, save for a narrow median. She was beginning to get a better look at the businessmen behind the pub, thanks to the light of the moon. There were six or eight men there total. Too many to count until she got a little closer. As she took step after step, she could hear their voices, too, and she could begin to make out what they were saying. It was something about a deal. They were making an exchange. There were seven of them. That was the number. She looked hard at each one as she continued to approach, wondering if any one of them was her husband.

  As she stepped closer and closer, one calculated step at a time, it suddenly became apparent to Cate what was happening. They were making a drug deal. Oh no, she thought. She wondered what she had gotten herself into. Beyond that, she wondered what Mick had gotten himself into. Distracted by her worries, Cate made a misstep and tripped on an uneven piece of pavement. Her boot became wedged and she let out a gasp as she stumbled and nearly fell on her face.

  “Someone’s there,” one of the men growled angrily.

  “It’s a woman,” another one said. “We don’t know what she heard. We can’t let her get away!“

  In a dizzying blur of adrenaline and terror, several of the men surrounded Cate and hoisted her up off the ground. One of them, who smelled like cigars and whiskey, placed his hand over her mouth before she had a chance to cry for help. Cate’s very life flashed before her eyes as the men began to drag her further towards the back of the pub building. She’d always been told to never let an attacker take you to another location. Because if they did, your chances of escaping with your life were slim to none. Cate didn’t know what these men might do with her, but scenes of being tied up in a dingy room or thrown into the trunk of a car flooded her mind. She tried to look for James, hoping that he would come back outside and save her. Bu
t he was nowhere to be found. The understanding settled over Cate in a wash. She needed to fight with everything she had, right there and now, if she ever wanted to see her kids again.

  Listening to her instincts, Cate launched a counter-attack. She began biting, scraping, and bucking around with all of her energy and strength. She was outnumbered by the men, but they were taken aback with her feistiness. Within moments, she managed to wriggle free. Seeing an opening to escape, Cate started to run back towards the diner and towards the safety of her SUV. She had barely made it halfway when she heard him call out her name.

  It was definitely him. She’d know his voice anywhere.

  “Cate!” he called.

  Frozen in place now with what felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders, Cate was uncertain as to whether or not she would be able to move. She knew that once she turned around and saw his face, things could never go back to the way they were. Not even in her dreams. Yet, she also knew that she could never truly move forward if she didn’t see him with her own eyes. It was a critical juncture.

  Compelled by the inevitability of it all, Cate slowly turned around. And laid her eyes on her husband.

  32

  It had only been two weeks, but Mick looked to Cate like an entirely different person than the one she had known and loved. His head was bald and he looked thin, like he had lost weight. She wondered what had happened to him. She could hardly believe this was real.

  “Cate,” he said again, softer this time. The businessmen with him were breaking away and heading back inside the pub. Cate continued to stare at her husband, but she didn’t run to him. They stood several feet apart. “I know how this looks, but you must get out of here. I had to fake my death to protect you and the kids.“

  “To protect us?” Cate asked. “I would have liked to have made that decision for myself. Do you have any idea what you’ve put us through?“

  “I know,” Mick said, taking a step closer to his wife. “I need you to trust me. I wouldn’t have done this unless it was the only way. I dropped by to check in on you and I will always watch out for you. But I can’t do that if we're both dead, which is exactly what will happen if you don’t leave right away.”

  “You don’t look good,” Cate said. “Has something happened to you?“

  Before Mick could answer, the businessmen returned, spilling through the back door of the pub building. A look of terror spread across Mick’s face. He knew that they’d gone to check with the boss. Their return meant that the boss was not pleased and intended to tie up loose ends.

  “What is this?” one of the men asks. “Is she with you?“ he continued, pointing at Cate angrily. “Because this isn’t how things were supposed to go tonight. We like to keep our hands clean. No complications.“

  “She didn’t mean any harm,” Mick said. “And she didn’t see anything. She’s not going to be a problem, I promise.“

  “That’s the thing,“ another one of the men adds. “A clean operation means no witnesses. No exceptions.” He paused for a moment and rubbed his fat thumb and index finger along his temples until he reached a decision. “Take her inside, boys. We will deal with her there.”

  Cate turned and tried with all her might to run again, but the men were too fast and they caught up with her. She scolded herself for taking the time to stop and talk to Mick. She hadn’t learned anything new. She could have gotten away to safety if she had kept running and not turned around when he called her name. The men overpowered Cate and, despite protests from Mick, took her into the bar and shoved her into a dimly lit back room. Before she could get her bearings, a large man with an air of authority stomped into the room. It was obvious that he was in charge.

  “Mr. Brady,” the bossman began, pacing the floor. “I’m not sure you realize just how pissed off I am about this conflict. I was assured a smooth operation and this has turned into anything but. You’ve given me no choice. There’s only one thing left to do.“

  “Anything,” Mick pleaded, dropping to his knees. “I’ll do anything you want. Just let her go. I promise you she won’t be a problem.“

  The surly boss put his hands on his hips and let out a hearty belly laugh. The sound of his voice made Cate shutter. Everything about his demeanor told her that he was a really bad guy. This danger was on an entirely different level than anything she had ever brushed with in the past. It made her terribly afraid for her husband, for herself, and for their innocent children who were at home with their aunt, having no idea the peril their parents faced.

  “I’m pleased to hear that,” the boss snapped at Mick. “That’s exactly the kind of allegiance I require.“ He walked over to Mick, then pulled a pistol out of his coat and handed it to him. “Shoot her.”

  Cate yelled out in fear, her composure leaving her.

  “What did you say?” Mick asked.

  “You heard me. Shoot the woman. She’s nothing but a liability.“

  Everyone in the room stood silently for a tense moment. Even the other businessmen seemed nervous about exactly what was going to transpire. Mick looked around the room at the reprehensible characters he had gotten involved with, then he looked at his good and kind wife. He knew that turning on the boss would mean retribution from others in the organization. He knew he would need to eliminate every last man present to get away. And he knew there would be a record of him having been with them tonight, which meant they’d be looking for him. But the only people who knew his wife had been here were standing in this room.

  Without hesitation, Mick turned towards the boss and placed a bullet squarely between his eyes. In a flurry of motion, he then did the same as he shot the others, one by one, all except a single remaining businessman who had found enough time to lunge towards him, knocking the gun out of his hands. Mick maintained a strong grip on the weapon as the man pushed him back into a wall and worked feverishly to save himself. Wanting to help and figuring she had nothing to lose, Cate jumped in and attempted to choke the man from behind.

  The three of them wrestled for what felt like an eternity. Mick and Cate would think they had the upper hand until the businessman would make a sudden move, regaining the advantage. Cate was beginning to exhaust herself and it looked like Mick was too, when, heroically, James and Neil burst through the door, coming to the rescue. Their weapons were raised and they were ready to take care of business. James squared up his aim and took a shot, which landed in the agitated businessman‘s head. The man collapsed onto the ground, releasing Cate and Mick as his body went limp and his eyes vacant.

  “Cate! Are you okay?” Neil asked, rushing to her side.

  “Sis, you good?“ James echoed.

  “I’m fine,” Cate said, pushing herself to a standing position despite feeling disoriented. “Just a little shaken up.“ When she caught her breath, she found herself standing equidistant between Neil and Mick. It was a position she never in her wildest dreams thought she would find herself in. The chemistry between Cate and Neil was palpable. She couldn’t have hidden it if she tried.

  The sound of police sirens rang out from the front of the building, and none other than Luke Hemming made his way to the back room. He burst through the door, gun raised, like his colleagues before him.

  “What the hell happened in here?“ Luke asked, lowering his weapon when he saw that there wasn’t a threat.

  “You first, Hemming,“ James said. “What are you doing here?“

  “I happened to be driving by and saw Neil‘s car out front. I wanted to tell my partner there have been new developments in the Mick Brady case. So, I pulled into the parking lot just as people began fleeing from the building and saying they’d heard gunshots in the back.“

  “Yeah?“ James asked. “Well, I’ve got a development in the Mick Brady case for you. Here he is in the flesh. My sister didn’t murder her husband. Because he isn’t even dead.“

  “I know she didn’t,” Luke said. “The evidence I thought I had came back a dud. It was related to another Cate Brad
y who was the same age and had the same middle initial. But the prints didn’t match.”

  Cate let out an audible sigh of relief. She could feel her shoulders relax as she leaned her head back and said a silent prayer of thanks.

  “I also attempted to exhume Mr. Brady’s body and found out his casket was empty,” Luke added, his voice softer and kinder. “I looked into Mr. Brady’s record with the military. I could see that he was a good guy. A patriot and a model citizen. I knew there had to be more to the story.” Luke’s lips turned down at the corners as if he were saddened by Mick’s plight. “I came here to tell Neil that his friend was off the hook.”

  “Wait,” Mick said. “Cate was being investigated for my murder?“

  “Indeed she was,“ Detective Hemming said. “I thought I had quite a case on her, too. All circumstantial though. In retrospect, I should have been more careful. I was too eager to be an instrument of justice. My ego got in the way.” He turned towards Cate. “Mrs. Brady, I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. I hope you can forgive me.”

  “Thank you for saying that, Detective Hemming,” Cate said. “She turned to her husband. “You’re amongst friends here, Mick. These men will let you walk out the door when we’re done and disappear if that’s what you choose to do.”

  “If I’m going to keep you and the kids safe, that’s what I have to do,” Mick clarified. “I don’t have any choice in the matter. These are very bad guys. Their associates will know it was me and they’re going to look for me. Hard. The only saving grace here is that no one outside of the present company knows you were here. You can go home and live your life without having to worry about them coming after you.“ Cate felt like she’d been punched in the gut when she heard her husband refer to her life without him in it.

  “How did you get involved with these people?” Cate asked. “And how did you hide it from me? You must have been dealing with them for quite some time. Otherwise, things wouldn’t have reached the point where the only out was faking your own death.“