by Jamie Knight
I force myself out of my head. I bring myself back into the moment by thinking about how good it feels to finally be with her. This is what I always wanted right? This was the goal from that first date.
Just as I'm starting to get back into the heat of it, however, I can feel her resist me again. She breaks free and gives me a hard shove. I stumble back a few steps and look at her in surprise. She is just as turned on and out of breath as I am. She fixes her clothes before glaring at me again. I can see her anger has returned and take a few seconds to catch my breath.
I stand up straight and fix my hair and suit. When our eyes meet again, she is glaring at me once more with her arms crossed over her chest. I wonder what she has to say now? I thought she had already gotten everything out? Well, I do deserve this. It wasn't fair of me to treat her like that. Besides, by letting her get her feelings out, I might be able to salvage this night and what we are building together. I mean, I guess that's what we are doing. No matter how hard I try to fight my feelings, there is definitely something there between us.
I guess at some point in life we all have to face our fears and work through things. This is not something I'm looking forward to, if my past is any indication. I still have to make some sort of an effort though. She’s worth it. I brace myself for the worst as she opens her mouth to speak.
Chapter 16 - Lorelai
It's crazy what's happening. My head is spinning. Obviously Gabriel and I are both mad at each other, but it's so hot. I can't help myself. I can't resist his touch. I didn't expect him to bid on me. Even though I'm so angry at him, I'm still flattered that he did.
When he pinned me to the wall and kissed me, it was worlds apart from our garden kiss. It was laced with lust, passion, and sexual tension. When he slid his fingers under my dress, I melted into him. I may be a virgin, but it’s not like I’ve never been touched.
Let me just say that no man can hold a candle to him. He has a powerfully skilled touch. Even though this was our first time together, it felt like he knew exactly where to touch my body to make me go insane. I want so much more with him. I hold him close and grind on his hand.
He makes me moan. He kisses my neck, and rips open my sweater. I can see him admiring my cleavage before pressing his mouth to my nipples. They grow hard beneath the fabric
I can feel his hand teasing me through my panties. He has his finger on my clit, and I shiver with desire. I crave him, I want to give myself to him. I want him to take my virginity, but as we continue kissing, I suddenly remember everything.
I remember the auction, why I'm here. I give him a shove and watch him stumble backwards. My anger returns. He can't just make everything better with a kiss, or a quick fuck. He really hurt me, and I demand an explanation from him. I'm breathing hard as I hurry to button my sweater and pull my dress back down.
I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him, waiting for him to catch his breath. I watch as he also straightens his clothes. He meets my gaze calm and composed. That just infuriates me even more. After everything that has happened, how can he just stand there with no reaction at all?
I take a few deep breaths, making every effort to calm myself. I'm not going to make a scene. I'm a professional business woman, and there is still an auction going on outside. I don't want everyone to overhear our private business
Once I'm calm, I look at him. He still seems placid, but I can tell he's wondering what I am going to do. I give a long, sad sigh. I really like him. I don't want to fight, or argue anymore. I just want some answers. I think I at least deserve that.
"Can you at least tell me why you have been running so hot and cold on me?" I ask finally.
Once the question is out, the rest of my feelings come out too, pouring out of me in a flood. "I thought we both had a great time the other night. I was hurt when I didn't hear from you. Then you show up here tonight all possessive and jealous, even though you’re the one who had some random bimbo hanging all over you. I'm not mad anymore, I just want to know what's going on."
I look deep into his eyes. I can see confusion. So many conflicting emotions. It’s almost painful to watch. Perversely, I want to reach out and hold him in my arms.
"Please. Tell me?" I ask him softly.
He looks away from me. I can hear his sharp intake of breath. He looks back at me, his eyes are filled with confusion once more. "I honestly don't know," he answers.
I can tell that he is reluctant to say more. I want him to open up to me. I wait for him to continue talking. I watch as he starts to pace back and forth. "All I know is that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night. I realize now that it’s because I'm falling for you. Hard. I can't stop myself, no matter how hard I fucking fight it," He admits softly.
I walk over to him and put a hand on his arm. He stops pacing and looks at me, startled. I gaze up at him, my heart pounding in my chest. I want him to continue talking about us, to know that he has feelings for me. I can see it for the first time. The longer that I look at him, I see the fear in his eyes. It's not me that he doesn't want, it's the feelings.
He is deathly afraid of falling in love. That's why he is so aloof, why he keeps his distance. My heart aches for him as I realize how damaged his heart and soul must be. I want to fix that. I want him to be happy and complete
I raise my hand and gently brush it across his cheek. "Why do you fight it so hard?" I ask him softly, "You know already that I am different than everyone else."
He watches me, but says nothing. I'm hesitant now because I don't want to scare him away. I keep my hand on his cheek, my eyes are on his as I slowly lean in to kiss him. I can still see the fear before our eyes close. The kiss is soft and tender, with fear and hesitation. There is no trace of our earlier anger. It's still much different than our first kiss. This one is meant to heal both our wounded hearts and knit them together.
His hands softly rest on my hips. Everything about this moment is gentle and tender, but it doesn’t take long before the chemistry between us starts a reaction and the passion ignites
He stops kissing me long enough to gaze into my eyes. I can see little sparkles of hope in them. I know he’s still afraid, but he wants this just as much as I do. The words remain unspoken, but understood.
He lifts me up and my legs wrap around his waist. We start kissing again, this time with more hunger. Like each of us has something the other needs. He sits on the edge of the desk that I have in the back, tugging me onto his lap. We break away and I keep my balance as he unzips his pants. The skirt of my dress is up past my hips. While he pulls a condom from his pocket, I stand up for a moment and shimmy out of my panties before sliding right back into place.
He guides his shaft into position and gazes at me. Meeting his eyes in answer, I slowly slide down onto his erection.
I let out a soft gasp as I feel his entire length pushing inside of me. He groans in delight. I place a hand on his shoulder to steady myself. All these feelings are so new, I'm not used to this. I feel my insides stretching and molding to accommodate him, but I’m so wet that it doesn’t sting like I’m expecting.
He wraps his hands around my waist, endlessly patient and gentle. He slowly lifts me, and lets me slide back down. He moves slow, so as not to hurt me. Gradually I get used to the feeling and start to take the reins, making my own pace.
Even though the love making is so gentle and sweet, it's even more exciting than my fantasies. I'm finally losing my virginity, to a gorgeous man that I met in a crazy way. We are also doing it in the back of my shop, during a sex auction. If someone had told me it would happen like this I would have laughed in disbelief.
But there’s no laughter as I wrap my arms tightly around his shoulders and start to ride him faster and harder. He moans and buries his face in my breasts. I throw my head back as he sucks on my nipples. It feels fucking incredible and turns me on even more. He can tell how much I’m enjoying this. Things grow hotter by the second.
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He takes hold of my hips, and guides me up and down, pausing so that I feel every inch of him inside of me. It drives me crazy. This man definitely knows what he's doing. I cry out his name once more. This even better than I ever could have imagined it would be. How can I be worried or scared about something that feels this good? Especially with a man this sweet and kind.
We go faster and faster until the climax shatters me, pleasure washing over me in waves as I shudder and scream his name. And he’s not far behind, pouring hot seed into the condom between us.
I’m so weak that I collapse over his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me. I feel nothing but love and tenderness between us. We hold each other like that for several minutes. I hope whatever is happening between us continues to grow. I know his heart is fragile, that he’s scared and poised to run at any moment. I know I shouldn't get attached, but I can't help it. They say you never forget your first, and I know tonight is truly a night to remember.
Chapter 17 - Lorelai
After we finish, I lay weakly in his arms. He has to hold me up. We spend a few minutes holding onto each other like this, though it feels like an eternity. I can't get over how amazing that was! I mean I always hoped that losing my virginity would be spectacular, but this was far better than anything I could have ever come up with.
I can feel him move around underneath me. This brings me back to reality a little bit. I don't want to, but I slowly lift myself off of him. I still feel a little dazed, so I'm not really concentrating on anything. Eventually I am aware that he is talking to me.
"Lorelai?" He asks me.
I turn to look at him. I'm having a little trouble focusing. All I can manage to say is "Hmmmmmm?"
He laughs gently and gets up from the desk. He buttons his pants and tucks in his shirt. He walks over to me and pulls my dress back down, so I'm decent once again. He looks me directly in the face. I struggle to concentrate on him.
"I was wondering if you wanted me to take you home?" He asks, suddenly timid.
I can hear the hesitation in his voice and it snaps me out of my daze. I blink a few times before I am able to completely focus on him.
"Um. Thank you, that's very sweet. I would like that." I reply softly.
I'm not sure why some of my old shyness around him has returned. It's silly that I should be acting that way, considering what we just did
I look around in confusion. "Where did I put my sweater?" I mumble aloud.
He is putting on his own suit jacket. He looks around the room, "Here it is,” he hands me the sweater and my purse as well.
"Thank you," I reply softly.
For the first time he offers me a small glimpse of a smile before looking away quickly. I look away as well. It might have been a small smile, but at least it was something. I hurry to put my sweater on and slide my purse over my shoulder. I look up at him. "All set?" He asks me.
I nod, and we walk out together. He pauses to let me walk in front of him.
I still feel weak from our sex. I have never used my muscles like that before. I stumble slightly. I feel his arms grab my waist to hold onto me. "Oh my gosh, I am so embarrassed!" I exclaim aloud.
I honestly am. My whole entire face turns red. I turn to look at him and I can see that his eyes are filled with amusement.
"You didn't even turn this red when you were mad at me," he jokes.
I blush even more and we both laugh. He scoops me up in his arms. I gasp and try to hold on to my purse as I rest against his chest. "Now we can get you home faster," he says.
All I can do is stare at him in awe. We ignore everyone that is in the crowd. I think they are still having the auction, or it's just ending. I can talk to the director later. Right now I'm just excited to be spending this much time with Gabriel. I can't waste any second of it. We walk out of the shop. He carries me outside and down the street.
I tear my gaze away from him eventually and look around. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea you parked all the way over here!" I exclaim.
I feel bad that he is carrying me all this way. He scoffs, "It's not a big deal " he replies.
To be honest, it doesn't look like he has any trouble carrying me at all.
We are silent the rest of the walk. He puts me down by the car and opens the door for me. Once I'm safe inside, he closes it and also gets in. He starts the engine and we speed away. The drive to my home is quiet. My mind is still on everything that happened. This has been such a crazy night. I squirm in my seat. I can't believe I finally lost my virginity. I look at him to make sure he doesn't notice my movements
His gaze is fixed on the road. I try to study his face. I realize I am more attracted to him now, maybe because of what we did. I can feel myself getting turned on again. I want more of him. To feel him naked. I don't want this night to end. I yearn for him, not just physically but in other ways as well. I want to take the parts of him that are broken and kiss them better. He finally noticed me looking at him. I quickly turn away before he can ask me anything. He just shrugs and turns his eyes back to the road
He looks at me again a few minutes later, "You’ll need to direct me here," he says with a chuckle.
I blink and blush again. "Sorry, I forgot," I reply. I look out the window at the street signs. "At the next light you will need to make a left and drive straight for a few blocks. " I instruct him. He nods silently and keeps driving. He switches lanes quickly and makes the light. We take a left and keep driving. I start to feel nervous at the lack of conversation between us
"Where do I go now?" He asks, startling me.
I don't glance at him as I reply, "After the overpass up ahead make another left. I live in a small apartment building on the street.
He nods and we keep driving. We make it to my place quicker than I expected. He slows as he turns onto my seat. "It’s the building on the right." I say softly.
I'm feeling a little sad, I don't want our night to end. He turns into the small parking lot and easily finds a space. We park in the space for a few seconds, the silence between us growing. He turns to me. "Well, tonight was certainly interesting.”
I look up at him and nod. "No kidding.”
Inside I'm thinking about how incredible it was and how I want more of it.
He taps his fingers on the steering wheel. I continue to sit in the car. I'm torn. I don't want to frighten him away, but I don't want to be without him. I take a deep breath, I need to just say it, to get my feelings out. "Will you come inside with me?" I ask, turning to look at him.
He clears his throat, eyebrows shooting up in surprise, and looks away. I didn't mean to put him on the spot, but I don't want to be away from him. I wait a few more seconds before reaching a hand out to him. He just stares at me in silence. After a few seconds he turns off the car and puts the keys in his pocket. We both get out of the car at the same time. After closing our doors, I wait until he's by my side before reaching for his hand again
He hesitantly puts his hand in mine. I smile gently at him and lead him upstairs to my apartment. I don't speak, I don't want to say anything to frighten him away. Nor do I want to spoil the mood. Once we’re inside my apartment, he hovers by the door nervously.
I pull off my purse and sweater. I walk to him and stand in front of him. Our gazes meet. I have to stand on my tip toes to kiss him gently. It was meant to be a quick peck, but as I pull away, his lips force themselves to mine. His arms wrap around my waist. The kiss turns a little rougher, like earlier. Eventually I pull away from him breathlessly. He looks at me confused.
Silently, I take him by the hand. We walk out of the living room and go down the hallway to my bedroom. We leave the lights off, removing each other’s clothes slowly. Even though we were already intimate, it's the first time we pause to really see each other's bodies, even in the dim moonlight coming in through the window. We pause for a moment to get a good eyeful.
I take the initiative this time and walk towards him. I wrap
my arms around him and kiss him again. With each kiss I take a step back, he follows, and we lie down on top of my bed.
We lie side by side. I start kissing him harder. I position myself so that he is half under me. Reluctantly, I pull away for a moment, however. “Do you have another-?”
He nods, pulling another foil square from his pocket, and satisfied, I seal my lips to his once more. I can feel his hands shifting as he rolls the latex down his shaft. When I can bear it no longer, I climb on top of him. He stares at me in surprise, but I can tell he likes it. I slowly slide onto his erection. I don't waste any time. I'm not used to the feeling of him yet, but I crave more and more of it.
I start grinding my hips as I ride him and I can hear him moan. He stares at my naked breasts, bouncing with each movement. He reaches up to play with my nipples, caressing them gently until I feel them harden beneath his fingertips.
I ride him harder and harder. I could do this all night. I had no idea what I was missing, and am so glad I gave him my virginity. He stops playing with my nipples and instead grabs my hips, driving in deeper. I can feel every inch of his dick deep inside of me. I bounce up and down, going faster and faster until I can't hold it back anymore. I cry out for him as I cum, spiraling into a white-hot oblivion of pure ecstasy.
I barely notice his last strokes before he joins me in orgasm, so caught up in my own sensation that the rest of the world melted away.
I feel more weak than before. I feel tired, dizzy, but at the same time wild and free. I lie on his chest for a few minutes and he holds me in silence.. After a few more minutes he shifts his position so that I am lying next to him. It seems like I'm enjoying it more each time I do it. Is that how sex works? Does it get better each time?
The only thing that is stopping me from having another turn on him right now is the fact that I'm so sleepy. I feel like I'm in a daze or drunk. I just lie there and stare around the room.