Cruising

by Sean Ashcroft

  The next thing I knew his hands were in my hair and he was kissing me, open-mouthed and hungry, hanging onto me with both hands as though he was afraid I might get away otherwise.

  “I don’t deserve a man like you,” Lee said. “But I’ll work on it. Promise.”

  I sighed, letting my forehead rest against Lee's, and closed my eyes.

  People were probably staring.

  I didn’t care. Not when Lee was here. He was the only thing that mattered.

  “You deserve the world and everything in it,” I murmured, the anxious stone that had been sitting in the pit of my stomach all day evaporating. “And I’m planning to do my best to give it to you.”

  Lee hummed, still holding onto me with both hands, a happy little sigh escaping him.

  The thought that I was all it took to make him this happy still didn’t make sense, but I was ready to accept it.

  And I was ready to make Lee happy for as long as he’d have me.

  “You’ll lose your luggage,” I said, glancing down to check that it was still there.

  Lee chuckled. “Don’t care.” He looked up at me, eyes shining. With love. So strongly that even I couldn’t pretend I didn’t see it. “Found buried treasure out there after all.”

  28

  Lee

  Rowan's apartment was exactly as neat and clean as I would have expected, and I didn’t actually care at all as long as there was a bed and we were heading to it.

  “That’s the bathroom,” Rowan said as I put my hand on a door handle between heated kisses, luggage forgotten just inside the door. “Bedroom’s the next one along.”

  At least we were on the same page.

  I laughed, dragging him into the next room and pushing him down onto the bed, watching in awe as he bounced on the plush mattress.

  The bed on the ship had been okay, but this one looked comfy.

  Rowan blinked up at me, ruffled and kiss-bruised and dark-eyed, pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, long legs dangling over the edge of the bed.

  He was beautiful. I wasn’t sure if I’d said it, I wasn’t sure I’d even thought it, but he was.

  He grunted as I landed in his lap, kicking his shoes off while I worked on the buttons of his shirt.

  “Do you have to wear clothes with so many goddamn buttons?” I asked as I worked my way through the last few. At least I was getting good at it.

  “Umm…” Rowan cast a glance at a sliding door that must’ve hidden his wardrobe.

  “Not a serious criticism,” I said, pushing his open shirt off his shoulders, leaving him to deal with the sleeves. A sigh welled up from the pit of my stomach as I rested my forehead against his, breathing in his aftershave, wondering what he smelled like on a regular day when he was using his own soap and shampoo and whatever else he hadn’t taken on vacation with him.

  “But I could dress differently,” he murmured. “For you.”

  I shook my head. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

  Rowan’s fingers stilled where they’d been playing with the hem of my t-shirt.

  “I love you,” he said, tilting his head to look me in the eyes, the ice-blue irises reduced to a thin ring.

  “Love you too.”

  I was never going to get tired of saying that and having Rowan light up like Christmas at it. No one else had ever wanted me to love them.

  We made a mess of Rowan’s bedroom tearing each other’s clothes off, hands all over bare skin and sensitive places, gasping into each other’s mouths and fighting with zippers and socks until we were both completely naked. Rowan rolled us both over so I was pinned under him, sinking into the soft, plush mattress, eager to touch him everywhere.

  I’d been right. There was no getting enough of him. We’d had ten days of sharing a bed and all it’d done was make me want ten thousand.

  “Please tell me you keep the lube handy?” I asked, palm skimming up and down his spine, feeling a shudder run through him at the question.

  “Umm.” Rowan cleared his throat, blushing again, his cheek hot where it brushed against my jaw as he nuzzled my neck. “I don’t date…” he said, a shiver rolling down my spine as he sucked on the sensitive skin below my ear. “So… don’t actually… have any.”

  He looked up at me, eyes wide and innocent. My heart leapt into my throat at the look on his face, so obviously comfortable with me that he could admit he didn’t even keep lube in his apartment.

  That was about to change.

  “You’re so lucky I’m a goddamn magpie,” I said, pushing him off with a laugh. “I’m coming back.”

  I’d taken the half-bottle of lube we’d had left over off the ship with me, figuring they’d only throw it out anyway. Rowan’s living room looked like a hurricane had hit by the time I found it at the very bottom of my bag, but that was a problem for later.

  He was laid out along the bed when I got back, all long lines and smooth skin, and I had to stop and stare.

  Somehow, unbelievably, Rowan was all mine. Mine to keep.

  A hum vibrated in the back of his throat as I kissed him, pressing the lube into his hand. “My turn,” I murmured against his lips, shivering as his fingers trailed along my thigh, lighting up every nerve ending I had.

  The familiar click of the cap sent a thrill of need straight to my cock.

  I closed my eyes and let my forehead rest against Rowan’s as warm, slick fingers trailed up my thigh, hissing as he brushed past my balls.

  “Okay?” Rowan asked, pausing with his fingers resting against me, promising so much.

  “I’m okay,” I murmured, shifting my weight. “Long as you’re touching me, I’m okay.”

  Hot, heavy pulses of pleasure coursed through me as Rowan’s fingers worked their magic, gentle and much more confident than last time. He made me gasp and squirm in his lap between kisses, my cock hard and leaking between us, his a hard line against my thigh, an unspoken promise of what I had to look forward to.

  The whole world fell away and it was just me and him, rocking together like we were back on the ship, like we’d never left.

  Like we never had to leave, because it wasn’t the cruise or the vacation or the goddamn Caribbean that made things work for us.

  It was us. We worked. Even back home, even though Rowan was meant to be his normal boring self again—as if he could ever be boring to me when he was like this. Soft, gentle, caring. Everything I’d been looking for.

  By the time I was sobbing with pleasure against his neck, desperate gasps with every new surge of need, I knew what I wanted.

  “Rowan,” I murmured, climbing off him and tugging him to come with me. The mattress creaked under us as he followed without hesitating, settling between my thighs and looking down at me, eyes sparkling as he looked me over.

  How could anyone not want this? I was the luckiest man who’d ever lived.

  “I love you,” he said, the awe written all over his face making my stomach swoop.

  A rumbling moan vibrated in my chest as his mouth sealed over mine, my fingers deep in his hair gripping tight, tighter still as he pushed inside, one confident stroke that left me panting for breath and seeing stars, the head of his cock skimming every sensitive spot inside me at once until he was in as far as he could go.

  Full and thick and perfect.

  The tension I’d been carrying since this morning unspooled in the pit of my stomach, a sudden rush of aching need replacing it. Rowan was mine, and I could keep him. I didn’t need to worry anymore.

  I could keep him. We weren’t faking it anymore.

  “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” I whispered in his ear, holding him close as he rocked into me, every thrust stoking the furnace that’d just sprung up in my gut.

  This? This was what making love felt like. I’d felt it with Rowan before, but it was so much more intense now. Every kiss, every touch, every little moan and gasp went straight to that same furnace, building and building until I wasn’t sure I could take it anymore.
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  It could’ve been hours. I could’ve been running my hands over every inch of Rowan’s skin for hours, sliding them down to squeeze his gorgeous ass, help him thrust a little harder, running the tips of my fingers along the soft skin of his thighs, working a hand between us to stroke my own cock, even though I barely needed it.

  The thought of Rowan was such a turn-on by now that my ears were ringing with arousal and the pounding of my own heartbeat, a constant, all-consuming buzz where the only thought I could hang onto was how right this felt, how good it was.

  “Close,” Rowan panted in my ear, hips jerking, headboard bumping the wall.

  Once I got over the novelty of being so in love with him that my heart was about to burst, I’d wreck this bed and him in it, leave him bruised and panting and exhausted in the middle of a pile of crumpled sheets.

  If I ever got over the novelty. Wasn’t sure I would.

  I’d probably wreck the bed later anyway. Rowan was too hot to resist, willing and eager and rewarding to please.

  “Want you to come with me,” he murmured, voice rough.

  A spark of lust skittered down my spine at the thought. I nodded, eager, and then pulled him in for another searing kiss, tongue diving into his mouth to taste him.

  Rowan’s hips stuttered, grunts of effort punctuating every thrust, each one sending another shock of pleasure right to the pit of my stomach, adding to the tight ball of tension there. I was so ready to come, so desperate to topple into bliss with Rowan that I could taste it on both of our tongues, the crackle of lightning between us.

  “I love you,” I panted, back arching as the dam broke, Rowan driving hard into me as the first wave hit, knocking the breath out of my lungs.

  He moaned into my mouth, hips jerking as he came, each thrust wringing another jolt of pleasure out of me until I ached with it, so done I was too exhausted to move.

  Rowan rocked into me a last few times, easing us both down from the peak, one hand running up and down my thigh where it’d hurt the first time.

  He was too perfect to be real, but I could feel the sweat on his skin rubbing off on mine, the heat of his breath making my neck flush, the familiar scent of him filling my senses.

  He was real, and he was mine.

  The mattress squeaked as Rowan landed next to me with a groan. I grinned up at the ceiling, skin cooling, fingers toying with the ridiculously high thread count sheets.

  That shouldn’t have been a surprise. Rowan was a man who liked comfort.

  I could have gotten really, really comfortable with him.

  “I love you,” I panted, every happy chemical my brain could produce still coursing through me, muscles pleasantly sore, the mattress soft as a cloud under me.

  “Really?” Rowan asked, and I didn’t have to turn my head to know he was looking at me.

  “Really,” I said, using the last of my strength to make the monumental effort of tilting my face a few degrees to meet his eyes. “Maybe it’s not worth much, I dunno. But I do love you. So much. I’ve never been with anyone who made me happier than you do.”

  “It’s worth the world,” Rowan said softly, slipping his fingers between mine.

  “I love you,” I repeated, since he seemed to like it.

  As always, Rowan blushed. I hoped he’d never stop blushing when I said things like that.

  “And I love this bed,” I added. “Good luck getting me out of it.”

  Rowan laughed. I made him laugh. It was more or less the sexiest thing he ever did.

  “I’m not in any rush to move you,” he said. “I did, umm. I did promise you I’d learn to cook. Thought I might start tonight?”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. Rowan was so different to anyone else I’d ever been with, and it turned out that wasn’t just his vacation persona.

  He was really like this. Sweet and charming and way better in bed than he thought he was. Room for improvement, but that was what practice was for.

  I rolled over to face him, grinning again. I could never stop smiling around Rowan. “Told you I didn’t deserve you,” I said. “This apartment is nice, by the way.”

  Rowan's brows drew together. “Umm. Thank you?”

  “Thinking ahead,” I said. “Might have to pick up a few more hours to afford half the rent.”

  “Are you inviting yourself to move in?” Rowan asked, raising an eyebrow.

  There was hope in his eyes, though, swirling around in the pale blue of them. And love. Love like I’d never seen before, like I was the most important thing in the whole goddamn universe.

  My body moved before my brain did, reaching out to him, fingers sliding into sweat-damp hair, the mattress creaking again as I climbed on top of him. Our skin stuck together where we touched, but I was too busy staring at the wonder in Rowan’s eyes to care.

  His mouth opened up under mine, soft lips parting without hesitation, letting me in. I knew now that he didn’t do this with just anyone—any of this.

  “Pretty much,” I said, kissing the tip of his nose. “You scared me earlier. Not letting that happen again.”

  “I love you,” Rowan said softly. “You won’t lose me.”

  “I won’t,” I promised.

  Rowan was all mine. Mine in ways he’d never been anyone else’s, and I was never letting go.

  29

  Rowan

  Lee did, eventually, leave my apartment.

  Two weeks later.

  For as long as it took for him to pack his things and bring them back.

  Maybe I should have tapped the brakes at some point, maybe I should have worried that this was a rebound, or that Lee was attracted to me for all the bad reasons I’d thought someone would be one day—the steady job, the nice apartment, the unfailing willingness to go along with things that made him happy.

  But I never had. Not once. I couldn’t even summon enough anxiety to worry about it and I couldn’t see why, after everything, we should put our happiness on hold for the sake of waiting some arbitrary amount of time before we moved in together.

  We’d handled each other for ten days in close quarters where neither of us could escape for long, and it hadn’t been a problem. I doubted it was suddenly going to be one.

  Hence the bundle currently squirming in my arms.

  “Lee,” I called through the door, hoping he was home by now and not still at work. He always beat me home—sometimes there was even food on the table when I arrived. Tonight, I figured we’d get takeout. Bigger things to worry about.

  As always, Lee grinned at me the moment he saw me, but it didn’t take long for his eyes to fall on the surprise I was carrying.

  “Is that…?”

  “Promised you a kitten.” I shrugged, passing the wriggling ball of fur to him as I edged my way into the apartment, eager to be home. My journey to pick our new friend up had taken me across town, and it was getting cold out once the sun set now.

  The look on Lee’s face was definitely worth it.

  “Hello gorgeous,” Lee cooed. “Look at you. Aren’t you the sweetest little thing ever?”

  “I could get jealous,” I teased, shrugging my coat off.

  “How could you ever be jealous of such a good kitty?”

  “She bit me. Twice,” I said. I didn’t blame it, honestly. I’d been holding it in my arms much too long.

  Tomorrow, I’d get a cat carrier so we could get her to the vet for shots and a checkup. Tonight, I had a litter tray and enough food to last a few days, but we’d need more things.

  I could already picture Lee proudly carrying her into the local pet store and spoiling her. That was why I loved him.

  “You like it when I bite you,” Lee said, moving to the couch.

  The tiny kitten padded cautiously up and down the length of it, but retreated to the safety of Lee’s side quickly, mewling to be picked up.

  My heart melted. I’d never thought of myself as a cat person, but… this one was okay. It liked Lee as much as I did.

  “You’re usu
ally doing a lot of other things I like when you bite me,” I said, ears burning.

  Lee still loved to make me blush, and I didn’t think that was going to change anytime soon. Not that I wanted it to. He could make me blush until the sun exploded as long as he was here.

  I’d come as close to losing him as I ever wanted to.

  “This definitely earns you a few things you like,” Lee said. “I love her? I didn’t realize you could fall in love with something so quickly. Figured taking like four days to fall for you was fast.”

  “Four days?” I asked, heat creeping up the back of my neck.

  “Looking back, yeah.” Lee grinned a butterfly-stirring grin at me. I was never getting used to the way he smiled, and I didn’t want to. I wanted my stomach to flutter every time he smiled at me, always. “Four days.”

  “Still love it when you blush, for the record,” Lee said. “What’re we calling this little princess?”

  I shrugged. “Your cat, you get to name it.”

  Lee hummed, scooping the little black-and-white fluffball up into his arms, holding it close to his chest and looking down into its pale blue eyes.

  “Bonnie,” he said after a moment.

  “As in Anne?” I smiled. Somehow, I’d known it’d end up with a pirate name.

  Lee kissed Bonnie on top of her tiny head, nuzzling her happily. “She’s got your eyes, you know,” he said. “So I’m not gonna be able to say no to my new daughter.”

  “I don’t think she’ll mind,” I said, crossing the room to snuggle next to them. “You’re very kind to me.”

  A shiver of happiness ran through me as Lee brushed a kiss over my cheek. “Love you,” he murmured, so easily my heart clenched.

  “Love you, too,” I murmured. “And your tiny furry daughter.”

  “Our tiny furry daughter,” Lee insisted, grinning.

  “I’ve never been more nervous in my entire life,” Lee said as he stepped out of the car, taking my offered hand to steady him on the curb.