Changes
Page 9
Acquiring information about lifestyle changes is a great place to start, but mere knowledge doesn’t create change. Now that you have some new insight, it’s time to put these ideas into action!
CHAPTER 10 ACTIVITY
Have you found any mind-body practices to be effective in your life? Whether you have or haven’t, now is the time to experiment. Below you’ll find opportunities to build a mind-body approach into the change process. Follow the instructions and take action!
Mind Your Body – There is extensive research to support the idea that lifestyle choices have a serious impact on our bodies and minds. When considering how to take care of your body, the basic tenets remain the same: eat whole foods, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep. Someone experiencing serious stress in his or her life may find these lifestyle changes more difficult to institute. Keep in mind, however, that these principles often reduces stress, which is always a welcome reprieve.
There are many resources out there so that you can continue to educate yourself on the mind-body connection. For more information on nutrition, wellness, the importance of sleep, as well as many other mind-body related insights, I recommend the following podcasts:
The Model Health Show.37
The Tim Ferriss Show.38
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast.39
Action Steps – Put a checkmark next to the action step that you’ll do immediately. Come back within a month’s time and complete the list. Consider doing a habit a week.
a. Listen to at least one episode of the following shows:
The Model Health Show __________
The Tim Ferriss Show _________
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast _________
b. Eat one meal per day that is only made up of whole foods ________
c. Commit to getting seven to nine hours of sleep, three times this week ________
d. Commit to rigorous exercise, at least, three times this week (yes, you have to sweat) ________
11
The Importance of Self-Care
In our world of busy schedules, high expectations, constant distractions, and technology-based information bombardment, self-care is not often enough a priority. So that we’re all on the same page, let’s define self-care. It consists of practices that help us to maintain or improve our emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Or, as a colleague of mine Dr. Agnes Wainman points out in an article on the website, Psych Central, self-care is “something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.”40 Self-care nurtures us. It helps us function at our highest levels. Common self-care practices include exercise, reading, journaling, meditation, communing with nature, and travel. But the list is endless because these practices reflect our own uniqueness.
We are constantly building on our understanding of the biology and neuroscience behind the factors in our overall sense of contentment, such as behavior, emotions, productivity, focus, and energy levels. Research shows that self-care not only affects the performance of individuals, but also that of organizations.41
Often stress leads to conflict. When we are stressed, our patience runs thin. When we run into interpersonal conflicts—with loved ones, co-workers, or strangers—our ability to respond appropriately is compromised. The solution to this conflict may be to take more time to care for ourselves.
This is not surprising news. When we feel better, can think more clearly, and are less stressed, we are more effective. So, regardless of what job you hold and what industry you work in, consider making your own care a priority.
Personally, the better I feel, the better I am at my work and in my relationships. Since I initiated a more regimented self-care routine, I have sharpened my focus, increased my productivity, and cultivated a calmer demeanor. Here’s a little story about self-care:
In March of 2015, I slipped and fell from the top of a 75-foot waterfall. It was barely springtime in the Tennessee hills, and after months of freeze, the falls were starting to trickle once more. As I was trying to take a picture, the stump I was clutching on to for safety snapped. Caught off-balance, I slipped on some ice and went over the falls head first. I managed to invert myself and grab branches and rocks on the way down so that my free fall was reduced to about 30 feet before I landed in 18 inches of water on the rock bottom. I am very thankful for the years of martial arts training in which I learned to relax and focus during times of stress. I believe it was this, as well as exhaling on impact, that reduced physical injury.
I never lost consciousness, but I must have gone into shock. I recall dragging myself out of the shallow pool of water and doing a body-check for broken bones. Soaking wet, I worried that if I didn’t get up and move, I’d soon get hypothermia.
My hiking companions ran down to where I had fallen and were shocked to find me in one piece. I couldn’t have hiked the three miles out of the woods without them. I hung on to one guy, sometimes two. My body was in shock from the pain, which intensified along the way. My ankles swelled to twice the size, but thanks to good friends and good boots, I was able to make it back. Part of the consolation of that day was having witnesses because when I told the doctors about the fall, they didn’t believe me.
After a series of x-rays, it was determined that I didn’t break any bones. A miracle. I had plenty of rehabilitation work to do on my ankles and knees, but over time, I healed well. Just remember, sometimes getting the perfect picture isn’t worth it.
Please take note here, the experience of the fall isn’t the important part. It is the follow-up experience that I think offers the most value. I had a strong emotional reaction to the accident: feelings of gratitude, curiosity, wonder, fear etc. I kept coming back to the idea of intentional living, how deliberate I was with my time every day. When it comes to self-care, we need to be deliberate. We need to implement a sustainable practice, which requires just that: practice. My brush with death made me ask, “How intentional are my moments, my days, my weeks, and my general direction in life?” So, I created a self-care experiment, which I’ll describe in detail momentarily. The experiment was originally supposed to last for 100 days, but it has gone on consistently since I began.
At the time of the accident I had lots of good things going on, and I was busy. But I wasn’t as intentional or purposeful as I would have liked, so I decided to make a change. I learned there is a clear difference between being busy and actually being productive.
My experiment was informed by my study of daily practices during and after graduate school, my martial arts practice, and inspirational stories I had heard along the way about successful people and the routines, both physical and mental, that many incorporate.
So, why 100 days? It seemed like a nice round number and also more than enough time to form a new habit, which was my goal. Having a daily practice was not new for me, but I hadn’t had any quite like this one, which was regimented and covered different focal points.
The order has had some variation, but for the most part this is how it goes:
I wake up, brush my teeth, splash some water on my face, and put in my contacts.
I do 10 minutes of seated meditation. The meditation I do is mostly focused on relaxation and how I’m breathing. Sometimes I’ll use a meditation device called MUSE, or the app, Calm. I meditate first because I’ve noticed that when I do so I’m better at recalling my dreams, which often offer nuggets of inspiration or learning.
I do a short body warm-up, stretching and moving, and then a Tai Chi form that I have been practicing for the last 10 years or so. I’m at the point now that I can do this form with the familiarity and understanding that only comes with time, and yet I also still feel like a beginner. Any activity that keeps you both enthusiastic and humble is worth incorporating into your self-care routine.
I then start a qigong routine. Qigong is another kind of meditation, which consists of held postures and slow, repetitive movements combined with breath and awareness.
I then do 10-15 minutes of more intense movement, which gets my blood flowing
even more. This exercise period is often longer, depending on my schedule. Usually, this portion of my routine consists of some combination of martial arts, push-ups, pull ups, sit ups, weight training, and stretching.
To wrap up the routine, I write in a journal. My daily entry usually has three parts:
I write about whatever mood I wake up in or what’s on my mind.
I write about the dreams I remember and what kind of meaning I can draw from them.
Most importantly, I write about my intention for the day and my gratitude. Sometimes, I write down intentions for longer-term goals, as they relate to what is happening in my life. I find that writing about gratitude is a helpful tool to stay present and focused. It also offers perspective, allowing us to compare all that we want to all that we already have. (See Chapter 6 for more on the power of gratitude.)
Since I started this routine, I have felt better physically and have been more productive. I don’t believe these positive changes are due to random coincidence. Creating clear daily goals and intentions leads to favorable outcomes. With such a routine in place, I spend my time in a more focused way, and that has helped me clarify the direction of my business and make headway on personal goals. With the clarity of mind and body that the routine cultivates, I tend to be more organized in my business, resulting in swifter and clearer progress.
On the best days, I am able to do the whole routine, but like everyone else, I encounter obligations and pressures that influence my decisions. On days I don’t complete all of my routine, I pick and choose the parts that hold the most significance for me. Each of our routines, like each of our stories, is unique. As mentioned in Chapter 8, a daily regimen is common among high performers across many disciplines. I have found that combining practices I enjoy with ones that are more of a struggle keeps me challenged and motivated, especially in the morning.
As of spring 2019, I will have maintained this routine for four consecutive years and plan to continue. What was once conceived of as a 100-day experiment has turned into many hundreds, thankfully. You’ll find that as the regimen becomes a cornerstone of your day, the will to do it evolves into desire. If you are truly committed to exploring daily routine I highly recommend the book, Own the Day, Own your Life, by Aubrey Marcus. In it, Marcus takes a deep dive into the various aspects of a daily routine and covers a whole host of self-care practices.42
Experiment for yourself, and see what you find when you start making yourself a priority!
Ways to Take Time for Yourself
Physical: Lift weights, run, walk, snowboard/ski, surf, take a class (spinning, CrossFit, yoga, martial arts, Zumba, etc.), hike, play golf, bike, have sex, etc.43
Relational: Spend time with your family, partner, and friends, go to a concert, get involved in a regular hobby or group-oriented sport.
Reflective: Journal, meditate, listen to music, go for a walk, do deep breathing exercises, read, etc.
General Health: Get seven to nine hours of sleep per night, drink lots of water, eat nutritious, whole foods.
CHAPTER 11 ACTIVITY
In what ways can you take care of yourself?
Build a daily routine that you can follow. Start small so you can build the capacity for this kind of self-care without becoming overwhelmed at the outset. Below you’ll find instructions on how to get going in four steps.
1. List the components of your weekly self-care routine or goal. Keep this list online or near an accessible calendar. Answer the following questions:
a) What time does/will this routine take place?
b) What is the duration of the total routine (30 min, 1 hour, 1.5 hours, etc.)?
c) List what it will include and how much time you will dedicate to each part of the routine.
d) After you’ve accomplished the routine, keep track of this accomplishment. If you only accomplish part of the routine, take note.
e) Track how many days you can complete your routine in one month and which parts of the routine you complete. This will get easier over time. Also, note which activities in the routine you follow through on and which are most challenging for you.
2. Create accountability! Share your routine with friends and see if they would like to participate with you. This will be an experiment. Let them know that you can hold each other accountable and share insights throughout the process. Also, let them know you’ll be calling them out on social media with the commitment. You can use the tag #thechangesbook to track things across social media.
3. On social media, tag someone you think may be interested in the challenge. Ok, now go do it! Seriously!
4. Feel good about how you take care of yourself. We could use that enthusiasm, that forward momentum, in taking care of each other!
12
Meditation for the Individual and the Organization
There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding meditation. I’ve heard all kinds of comments. “Isn’t that for hippies?” “I suck at meditation. I tried it once and couldn’t do it.” Or “I can’t just sit there; I need to be doing something.”
Often, this type of resistance gives way to curiosity, interest, and after some experimentation and dedicated practice, enjoyment and tangible benefits. That said, it may take a little time to find the kind of meditation that fits you. A common misconception about meditation is that there’s a single form, that it only looks like one thing. Plenty of minds conjure an image of a person sitting quietly, eyes closed, legs crossed, trying not to think. (Good luck with not thinking, by the way.) The truth is there are many varieties of meditation.
I have tried my hand at a wide variety of meditation practices, from basic breathing exercises to guided meditation to qigong (), a Chinese-based practice of held postures and slow movements related to energy cultivation.44 I have found all of these meditation styles to be valuable in one way or another. When working with individuals and organizations, meditation and mindfulness come up regularly. In this chapter, we’ll explore why meditation is so important for both the individual and the organization.
You may still be asking, “What is the point of meditation?” It’s a valid question, but be prepared for a flood of answers! In broad strokes, meditation has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression and to improve productivity. Check out the particulars:
Meditation for the Individual
Meditation has an impact on the mind, body, and overall well-being. Here are some examples of how meditation impacts the individual.
Impact on Aging – A study at UCLA concluded that long-term meditators had less age-related atrophy of gray matter in the brain. The finding suggests a relationship between long-term meditation and a reduction in age-related brain tissue decline.45
Management of Health Conditions – The Mayo Clinic cites meditation as having a positive impact on emotional well-being and helping people manage symptoms of asthma, high blood pressure, and heart disease, among others.46
Impact on Depression, Anxiety, and Pain – In a meta-analysis at Johns Hopkins, researchers determined that meditation practices had an impact on depression, anxiety, and pain.47
Meditation and Self-Control – A study in 2013 by three US universities suggested that meditation training can improve self-control and help with quitting smoking.48
Meditation for the Organization
The impact of meditation on an organization can be significant. Implementing meditation can positively affect productivity, absenteeism, and the bottom line.
Impact on Absenteeism – According to an article by Harvard Health Publishing, employees struggling with depression lose an average of 27 days of work per year.49 If we take into account all the evidence of meditation reducing depression, it stands to reason that offering or encouraging meditation practices to employees would improve absenteeism and ultimately save the company time and money.
Impact on Disability – The World Health Organization states, that as of 2018, depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.50 Ignoring the ben
efits of meditation, especially in regard to disability reduction, could result in excessive and unnecessary costs to companies.
Impact on Healthcare Costs and Productivity – Mindfulness programs in corporations are on the rise. The insurance giant, Aetna, reported that since instituting its mindfulness program, it has saved $2000 per employee in healthcare costs and gained $3000 per employee in productivity.51
Meditation is becoming more common in the workplace – An article in TIME shows that more and more meditation and mindfulness programs are being implemented in the workplace, as benefits are more widely recognized.52
So, now you may be asking, “Which meditation practice do I choose, and what tools are available?” In my work, I see the best mindfulness or meditation activity as the one that most closely resonates with each individual (or organization). Again, you don’t just have to sit cross-legged and pretend to be “not thinking.” There are many styles of meditation available, the trick is experimenting and finding one that you can stick with. There are also other tools available to complement your meditative practice.
One meditation tool many of our clients enjoy is a device called MUSE: The Brain Sensing Headband™. This tool gives immediate feedback on brain activity through a synced app on your mobile device, so you can use it anywhere.
This device works by first calibrating your current brain state and basically assessing how active or calm it is. As brain activity naturally fluctuates, it is necessary to start off with a base reading. From there, you get to pick the length of meditation you prefer, ranging from three minutes to one hour. You then choose a scene to listen to (rainforest, beach, city park, etc.), which is associated with your meditation session. You receive feedback in the form of sound coming from your chosen scene. For example, if you choose the beach scene, you hear crashing waves when your brain is active and gentle waves when your brain is calm. When your brain is particularly at ease, you hear birds chirping.