A Witch On The High Seas: Merryweather Mysteries

by Bankhead, Jenny

  “Yes, who?” seconded Carol Anne.

  Soon a chorus of “Who? Who? Who?” erupted from the crowd. Lorna felt as though she were standing before a flock of wide-eyed owls.

  “Let me start from the beginning,” Lorna said. “Just last night, we all gathered in this very room, for the Captain’s Ball. Does everyone remember this?”

  “Of course,” Lou said. If Lorna was correct, he sounded very nervous. His nerves made him defensive. “Stop being so dramatic. We were all there… how could we forget?”

  “It wasn’t long ago,” a crew member said.

  “It was very memorable,” a guest chimed in.

  “I forget everything past my sixth glass of spiked punch,” a tall giraffe-like woman said. “Somehow, I lost my feather boa.”

  Lorna knew that the pink boa was now neatly packed away in Betty’s suitcase, but she did not say this aloud. Instead, she said, “Fine, fine. Point taken. So we all remember the ball. Immediately after the ball, we gathered on the ship’s deck to watch the fireworks.”

  “What a show!” someone said.

  “The best fireworks I’ve seen in my entire life,” said another.

  “I quite agree,” said Lorna with sincerity. “It was a very expertly put together show. A happy moment for us all. But what followed was not very happy. If you’ll recall, the ship’s engines malfunctioned just as the finale was in full swing.”

  “A terrible misfortune,” the tall woman quipped.

  “What’s your point?!” Ana called from the back row.

  Lorna knew that she had to get on with the story. “At the very moment of the engine’s malfunction, everyone’s attention was on the disaster which was occurring. Everyone, except one person that is.”

  Lorna turned her gaze to Al and raised her eyebrows.

  Al hung his head guiltily, and Lorna knew in that moment that at least the beginning of her theory was accurate.

  She pointed her finger at Al. “Al seized this opportunity to break into his brother’s room,” she said. “He knew that his brother, Lou Gasparini, would have his hands full with his captain’s duties. Al knew that the room would be deserted, and it was the perfect time to enter into it unnoticed.”

  “Why?” Carol Anne asked. She looked down at Al with disappointment, as a mother might look at a rebellious teen who cut class. “Al,” she said. “Why would you?”

  Al did not speak, but Betty did. She was catching on to Lorna’s story. “He wanted the snow globe!” she said. “It may not be valuable to the general public—surely Maurice couldn’t sell it in his shop for more than a few shillings—but to Lou and Al, it was one of the most precious objects in the world.”

  “That’s right,” Lorna said. “Though the snow globe was made of plastic, to these two brothers it was a treasured family heirloom, a gift passed down from father to son.”

  “That snow globe belonged to me!” Al shouted, straining violently against his restraints. “Lou took it from me after Father’s funeral.”

  “I did not take it!” Lou retorted. “Father would have wanted me to have it. He only gave it to you because I was out at sea at the time. He would never give it to you—he liked me best!”

  “He did not!” Al said.

  “Oh yes he did!” Lou’s face was red, and his voice heated. “He was proud of me. You, on the other hand, were a disgrace…getting into such trouble after your short stint in the Navy. Father said he was proud of me. Did he ever say that to you?”

  “He didn’t have to. He had that globe engraved when he found out I’d be teaching tennis aboard a ship. It was intended for me! I was only taking back what was mine.”

  Lorna held her hands out and scanned the crowd. “See?” she said. “Both brothers valued the globe. Al broke into Lou’s room, using lock-picking skills that he picked up during his misspent youth.”

  “Well I’ll be,” Earl said.

  “Al, you rascal,” said Carol Anne.

  Al looked ashamed. “I was only stealing what was rightfully mine,” he said.

  Lorna continued. “When Lou returned to his cabin that night, he noticed that the globe was missing. He knew that the only person aboard the ship who would ever break in to steal the globe was his brother, Al. Lou was very upset.”

  All eyes turned to Lou, who had a way of looking very upset that was obvious. His cheeks turned a bright shade of red and his usually well-put together and respectable appearance became very ruffled looking. “Of course I was upset,” Lou said.

  Lorna knew that she was on the right track. She couldn’t wait to get to the juicy parts of the story. “Lou was so upset that the very next morning, he confronted Al, who was on his way to the meditation studio.”

  Here, she glanced at Al, hoping for confirmation. Lorna was just guessing about the meditation studio; the timing would fit with the scenario she had in mind, but she had no concrete evidence that indeed Al had been heading off to the studio.

  To her great pleasure, Al spoke.

  “Every good tennis player must meditate daily,” Al said.

  “Ah ha!” Earl said. “I knew that there was a trick you were keeping hidden from us! Why have you never told us?

  “If you ever signed up for my VIP Tennis Training Clinics, you would know this,” Al said. “But nooooo…you only participate in the free lessons. I can only give so much away for free, you know.”

  “Your VIP Clinic is nearly double the ticket price of the cruise,” said Carol Anne.

  “It would be worth every penny if we could finally beat Tom McMillan,” Earl said. He looked as though right then and there, he was planning how to budget for the package that included the VIP Tennis Clinic next time he was offered the opportunity to learn from Al.

  Lorna was happy that her guess had been correct. It would be no good to make a misstep and cause her audience to doubt her now.

  She interrupted Earl, who was now asking Al for meditation tips. “Lou confronted Al about the missing snow globe. Al was, of course, carrying it with him. He did not want to give Lou the chance of stealing it back. The two brothers began fighting over the snow globe.”

  “Yes,” a guest said. “I was enjoying a few moments of prayer in the meditation room, and I heard the sound of arguments down the way. Two men were speaking in very loud voices, though I couldn't understand what they were saying.”

  “Thank you,” Lorna said. “That’s just the bit of information I needed. That makes it certain. Lou and Al fought over the globe, and the fighting became physical. One brother knocked the heavy globe out of the other’s hands, and it sailed over the railing.”

  “And hit Leon in his noggin!” Betty said gleefully. Then she reigned in her enthusiasm, fearing that she sounded too happy about the tragic occurrence. In a more somber note, she added, “Bless his soul.”

  “As the globe fell through the air, it reflected what little sunlight there was in the sky,” Lorna said.

  She’d been wondering how both Sandy and Raul had independently reported being blinded by bright light on such a dreary day. The sparkling, gold-colored base of the snow globe would surely reflect light, regardless of how overcast the day was.

  She continued. “The heavy snow globe killed Leon on impact. Both Sandy and Raul, standing nearby, were momentarily blinded by its shiny surface as it fell. They each thought that the other killed Leon. But in truth, it was the fault of two brothers—Lou and Al!”

  With this, Al made one last violent attempt to free his arms. Betty, Carol Anne, and Earl were too enamored by Lorna’s skillful storytelling to notice when Al finally broke free from the lace.

  Al began busily untying the designer scarf around his ankles as Lorna continued.

  “Captain Lou was intent on disrupting the investigation,” Lorna said. “He threw himself overboard in a desperate attempt to distract everyone from the truth.”

  “I knew it!” hollered Charlie, pumping his fist into the air as if his favorite cricket team had just scored a winning run. “I was
right!”

  Lorna smiled. “You were,” she said. She was afraid that she was growing altogether too fond of Charlie. It was a shame that he did not live in Tweed-upon-Slumber, because if he did, she might invite him over to dinner one night, or for a walk in the park…

  She began imagining strolling through Tweed Park with Charlie. Perhaps Lord Nottingham would join them, swathed in blankets and tucked into a little baby stroller as she’d seen Flo walking with her own cat.

  No, Lord Nottingham didn’t seem the type. He was becoming very domesticated, but was not docile enough to tolerate being swathed in baby blankets like some sort of cat burrito. Then maybe she and Charlie would take Sir-Eats-Alot on a walk. The oversized lab could use a nice brisk walk or two now and then. The extra fresh air and exercise would do them well.

  A collective shout rose up from the crowds, pulling Lorna from her unfortunately timed daydream. “No! Look! He’s getting away! Do something!”

  Lorna turned in time to see Al, now free of his stylish hand and ankle-cuffs, making his get-away. He was racing down the stairs. Lorna barely had time to take two steps towards him when he leaped down the last five steps with one jump, and then dashed around the edge of the crowd towards the exit.

  “Oh no!” Betty shouted. “What’s happening?” She was waving her cane in front of her, searching for Al’s body so that she might wallop him back into place. Her cane only sliced through the air.

  “He’s made a run for it,” Carol Anne explained.

  “We’ve got to catch him!” Betty said.

  “No chance,” Earl said. “Al has a set of legs on him like no one I’ve ever met. He does one hundred squats every morning.”

  “One hundred!” Betty said. She had only a faint idea about what a squat might be, but one hundred of anything was impressive.

  Lorna made her way towards the stairs, and so did Betty.

  “We at least have to try to catch him,” Lorna said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lou turn and bolt for the exit. “There goes Lou as well!”

  The room was dissolving into chaos. No one—guests and crew alike—knew what to do. Some shuffled half-heartedly after the escapees, while others craned their necks around as if watching a sporting event. Each person thought that they had something important to say.

  “Al is reaching the exit,” the giraffe-woman noted.

  “He really can run,” a guest said.

  “Out of my way!” Tom McMillan shouted, making a scene out of going after Al and Lou. Really, he was only moving half as fast as he could have because he had no desire to actually catch the men. Instead, he only wanted to appear as if he was trying because he knew that his wife wanted him to.

  “Get them Tom!” his wife called out. And then to her neighbor, she twittered, “My husband is very fast. He’ll catch up to them no problem. He’s also good at fighting. Once he punched a man who said something offensive to me at a concert.”

  Tom had, indeed, punched a man at a concert for speaking rudely to his wife. The man had punched him back, giving him a black eye that ached for a week, as well as a lasting distaste for confrontation.

  Charlie’s voice cut through the crowd. “Everyone shut up!” he bellowed. “Now is not a time to panic. I am the head security guard. I’ll go after those two. Clear the way!”

  People looked at Charlie with a new sense of respect. For once, the head of security was not snockered on daiquiris and was actually doing something. However, though Charlie was very good at controlling a crowd, he was no athlete. He started to chase after the men, but was winded before he’d even made it ten feet.

  Lorna and Betty were also not making much progress towards the door. Lorna looked to the exit and saw Al slip through it. “They’re going to head for the lifeboats, aren’t they?” she asked Betty.

  Betty did not answer. She was concentrating instead on Ana Almeda, who was slipping off her heels.

  The Spanish woman drew a badge from her pocket and held it up. “Make way!” she said. “This is an official investigation!”

  Paula also retracted a badge from her pocket. “Let us through,” she said in a loud voice that sounded nothing like a meek assistant’s tone.

  Ana, barefooted, charged across the ballroom with such speed that Lorna nearly got whiplash watching her move. Paula followed close behind her, with a look of fierce determination on her face.

  “Look at that!” Lorna said. She then thought better of her statement and turned to Betty. “I mean to say…did you hear that? Ana and Paula are conducting an official investigation.”

  Betty smiled. “It’s a good thing someone is. Let’s hope they can keep up with a man who does one hundred squalks a day!” she said.

  “Squats,” Lorna corrected. “Yes, let’s!” She reached for Betty’s arm, and the two made their way, at their own pace, towards the ballroom’s exit.

  Chapter 16

  The crowd of crew and guests, including Lorna and Betty, spilled out of the ballroom’s exit. Lorna found herself trapped behind the tall, giraffe-like woman, of all people, and had to bob and weave to try for a glimpse of the pursuit that was taking place.

  After a few tries, she finally caught sight of Ana and Paula as they ran full speed after Lou and Al. The two brothers were fast, but Ana and Paula were faster.

  Ana tackled Al. Paula tackled Lou.

  In a flash, the women handcuffed the brothers.

  Lorna was astounded. If she’d had her notebook with her, she would have taken notes. It was thrilling to see real, trained investigators at work!

  “Better than Teneriffe lace,” whispered Betty, leaning in towards Lorna.

  “Yes, and a designer Hermes scarf. Maybe we should get some handcuffs…” Lorna mused.

  “I’m sure we could find some if we took a trip to Whitley and went to the hardware store.” Betty seemed certain of this, but Lorna wasn’t so sure.

  “Do you really think they sell handcuffs at the hardware store?” Lorna asked.

  “Oh, yes!” Betty waved her bejeweled hand. Her jasper ring twinkled in the silvery moonlight. “They sell everything at that hardware store. Once I found chocolate-covered crickets! And another time bacon-flavored soda!”

  “Chocolate-covered crickets and bacon-flavored soda are a long way from handcuffs. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if you were right? We would be so efficient with handcuffs. And badges…we must figure out a way to fashion badges for ourselves.”

  As the two women talked, they followed the crowd as it tightened in around Ana and Paula.

  The two investigators looked quite heroic in their bare feet, standing over the feuding brothers. Ana’s hair was up in her usual top knot, but it was not as neat as usual due to the sprint she’d just completed. Stray wisps of hair flew around her face like a halo. Her Jackie-O glasses had been tossed to the side. She didn’t want anything to hinder her as she ran, and the dark glasses were nearly blinding in the nighttime hours.

  For the first time, Lorna noticed how brightly Ana’s eyes blazed. If Lorna didn’t already have a role model in Betty, she might have begun to look up to Ana Almeda right then and there.

  Paula also looked like a heroine. She was no longer cowering in the presence of her so-called “boss.” Instead, she was standing with her feet hip distance apart, arms crossed over her chest. She didn’t look frail or dainty. Standing over her captor, her narrow frame took on a lithe, Amazon-warrioress quality.

  Lorna leaned over and whispered to Betty. “They both look so different, now that I know they are detectives.”

  Betty’s blue eyes twinkled. “You see? Your vision can be an impairment. You see what you want to see. Perception is all in here.” She tapped on her halo of silver curls.

  Lorna sighed. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” She made a mental note to rely less on her eyesight in the future. “Perception can be a tricky thing.”

  Charlie spoke up. He was near the back of the crowd, having huffed and puffed out onto the deck in a very laborio
us, slow manner and missing the best front row seats to the unfolding drama.

  “You mean to say you’re undercover detectives?” he asked. “Is that why you were asking me all of those questions?” Then he held up his hands. In them were two pairs of heels. “I brought you your heels, by the way,” he said.

  Ana nodded in agreement and thanks, though she looked less than thrilled as her black heels were passed among the crowd, along with Paula’s, all the way to the front row.

  She reached for the heels. Paula reached for hers. The two women slipped them on while the crowd waited anxiously.

  Once Paula had her shoes on, she spoke. “Yes,” she said, her loud, clear and confident voice traveling crisply through the crowd. “Ana and I are detectives. We are aboard to investigate the smuggling operation that Raul Alvarez—along with his now deceased accomplice, Leon Thomas—has been engaged in for months now, perhaps even longer.”

  “Frankfurter,” said Raul, who was in the midst of the crowd. He actually said something much worse, because he was very prone to spouting off profanities, but you don’t need to know the exact language that he used.

  He then cursed a second time, and then a third because he couldn't stop himself, all the while extracting himself from the crowd.

  As he backed up, cursing the entire time, he bumped squarely into Charlie.

  Lorna watched as Charlie removed a pair of handcuffs from his own cargo pockets (she made a note to herself to ask him where he purchased them), and slapped them around Raul’s wrists.

  “Thank you, Mr. Wright,” Paula said.

  “No problem,” Charlie said proudly. He pushed and prodded Raul up towards the front of the crowd. Raul plopped down next to the sorry-looking Gasparini brothers.

  “You’ve been running a smuggling operation aboard my ship?” Lou asked, facing Raul and giving him a look of disgust.

  “Your ship? The Mariasca belongs to me,” Raul spat back.

  “What kind of goods have you been moving?” Al asked, with more interest than was appropriate for the moment.

  Lou shot Al a glare, and Al retracted his question. “Never mind,” he said. “I don’t need to know. I’m living on the straight and narrow now.” He looked woefully at his cuffs. “Not that it’s done me any good.”