A Witch On The High Seas: Merryweather Mysteries

by Bankhead, Jenny

  “It has!” Lou said. “You’ve stayed out of trouble. I’m proud of you, Brother. And Dad would be proud of you too.”

  Was that a tear in Al’s eye? It was hard for Lorna to tell, given that a cloud had just drifted in front of the gleaming silver moon.

  “You really mean that?” Al asked.

  “I do,” Lou said, looking with love at his younger brother. Next Lou turned back to Raul. “This may be your ship in terms of finances, but I am the captain of this ship. I am responsible for the lives of the crew and guests aboard. I am a shepherd leading my flock, and you, sir, are a wolf.” He glowered at Raul.

  Lorna wished that she had some buttered popcorn to nibble on. This was too good! In her wildest dreams she never would have imagined that she would be witness to such drama. Yet here she was, in her satin jammies, watching it all unfold in real time.

  Lou looked so very captain-like. She’d never seen him look so dignified, and this was despite the fact that he was sitting on the ship’s deck in handcuffs. It was quite a feat.

  As Lou’s stature seemed to grow, Raul deflated. His shoulders slumped; his chest caved in. “I’m no wolf,” he said. “I never hurt anyone. I simply needed to make some money. The cruise ship industry stopped being profitable enough to support my lifestyle years ago. I needed more income.”

  “Or you needed to live within your means,” Lorna suggested from her position as a spectator of the unfolding drama. “Just because you’re short on funds doesn’t mean you need to resort to criminal activity.”

  “You might like the simple life, Raul,” Betty added. “Try sipping a good strong cup of black tea while sitting in a garden and looking at the flowers. You might find that’s all you really need.”

  “There’s nothing like it,” Lorna said.

  She could imagine her garden at the cottage, vividly. The cabbages were round purple things of beauty. The carrots always produced rows of delicate green shoots that promised hearty orange roots below. She loved her row of marigolds and zinnias that lined the veggie patch to keep bugs away. The bright colors—pink, orange, yellow, and red—always made her smile. She smiled now just thinking of them.

  “You’ll have time to ponder the simple life while you’re in jail,” Paula said. “Raul Alvarez, when the police come aboard, we are going to present our evidence for your arrest.”

  “What about us?” Lou said.

  “Yes, what about us?” Al asked. “I can’t go back to jail. I promise I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “You killed Leon!” Betty said.

  “It was an accident,” Lou protested. “Yes, Lorna had it right.”

  Here, Lou met Lorna’s eye. He nodded a little bit, giving her credit for her cleverness. “She had it all right. I did discover that the snow globe was missing. I knew that my brother took it. He’s been trying to steal it from me for years, ever since I took it from him—”

  “You did take it from me then!” Al said.

  “Because Dad meant it for me!” Lou argued. Then he held up his hands and shook his head. “That’s not the point,” he said. “We’ve been arguing over this for years. The point is, when I noticed it was missing, I knew that it was Al who took it. I found him the next morning on his way into the meditation room. I’ve known his silly habit of meditating every morning at nine o’clock for years. We fought over the globe, and…”

  “Don’t admit to anything!” Al said. Then he looked frantically around him. “Who here is a lawyer? Is there a lawyer aboard?”

  No one spoke.

  Al tried again. “How about a paralegal? A law student?”

  Silence.

  Al spoke. “Someone in college or university who’s taken a class about law then? I want to talk to someone who knows something about the law! How about a student of debate?”

  This got a response. A skinny teenage boy, his face pock-marked with acne, raised his hand tentatively. “I’m going to be on the debate team this fall,” he said just as Lou cut in.

  “Nonsense Al,” Lou said. “We don’t need to talk to a lawyer or a high school student in debate club. That won’t be of any help to us now.” He looked towards the teenage boy. “No offense. I’m sure you’re going to be wonderful at debate.”

  “None taken,” the boy said.

  Lou turned to Al. “We have to tell the truth. I see that now.”

  “You fought over the globe,” Betty prompted.

  “Yes,” Lou said. “And then it went over the railing. Al and I are responsible for Leon’s death. We conspired to get away with it. That was wrong.”

  “Very,” Betty said.

  Lorna said nothing. She admired the captain’s honesty, though it had taken far too long for him to get to it, plus being tackled and put into handcuffs.

  “What are you going to do to us?” Al asked, looking up at Ana and Paula.

  A light appeared in the distance, far off in the ocean waters. It was warmer than the cool, blue-silver moonlight. It was round and had an orange tint to it. A distant humming sound accompanied the light, and as everyone watched, the circular light grew larger.

  “A headlight…that must be the police,” Lorna whispered to Betty, who had her head tilted so that her ear could pick up the humming sound.

  “Sounds like a boat,” Betty agreed. “Approaching fast.”

  “Yes, I see the headlight. It must be only about a mile off.”

  “Good,” Betty said. “It’s high time the police took over. We’ve done enough work for one vacation.”

  “I feel as though we’ve done enough work for twenty vacations!” Lorna exclaimed.

  She and Betty made their way over to a seating area while the speedboats approached. Most of the crowd lingered around the captives. Some took the waiting period as an intermission to use the restroom or get a drink.

  Betty and Lorna hunkered down in their seats, not wanting to leave for a moment lest they miss some of the unfolding drama. When the police boarded the boat, they went straight to Ana and Paula.

  Lorna felt a bit affronted by this. “Shouldn't they want to speak to us?” she said to Betty. “We were the ones to solve the case, weren’t we?”

  “They’re a Spanish police force,” said Betty. “How’s your Spanish these days?”

  “A bit rusty,” Lorna admitted.

  Betty gave Lorna a doubtful look.

  Lorna laughed. Her friend had called her bluff. “All right, fine,” she said. “My Spanish is non-existent.”

  Betty laughed. “Then I think it’s best that we let Ana and Paula do the necessary explaining, don’t you?”

  Both women looked over at the detectives who were speaking rapidly and with animation in perfect Spanish.

  Twenty minutes passed this way. After this, the police led Al and Lou off of the boat, still in handcuffs.

  Lorna would later learn that the brothers were pardoned for their crime. Leon’s family chose not to press charges against them. Lou gave the snow globe back to Al, who donated it to a charity shop.

  As a replacement token of his father’s love, Al found a photograph of his father with his arms wrapped around the two brothers. Al had the photograph reprinted twice and then had each copy framed elaborately. He gave one of them to Lou, who placed it with pride on the mantelpiece of his new home—which he bought with his retirement money.

  Ana and Paula led Raul to the police officer’s speedboat. Raul did not get away with his crimes easily. He had to serve seven years in prison. However, he did use the time to ponder Lorna and Betty’s sage advice about living within his means.

  He explored the simple life. Other prisoners thought he was loony because he would spend the entire hour of outside time sitting absolutely still and gazing at the little yellow dandelions that poked through the scarce prison yard. It was the happiest Raul had ever felt. When he was freed from prison, he moved into a small apartment with a lovely little yard. In it, he cultivated the most adorable garden you could ever imagine.

  Lorna and
Betty listened as the police speedboat’s engines fired up. The small boat was powerful, and Lorna was envious of it. “I wish we were on that boat,” she said to Betty. “How much longer do you think we’re going to be stuck out here at sea? I’m starting to miss Tweed-upon-Slumber frightfully.”

  Betty laughed. “You are? I thought you wanted to get away from our little village.”

  “I did,” Lorna said, laughing too. “But now I want to go back, more than anything.”

  Just then, the cruise ship started to move.

  “Your wish is my command!” Betty said, waving her arm playfully.

  “You did that?” Lorna asked. “Your powers must be much greater than I thought!”

  Betty grinned and lowered her arm. “No, I didn’t make the ship move. I believe the police boat is towing us in.”

  The two women walked to the railing and Lorna looked overboard. Indeed, the powerful little speedboat was towing the cruise ship into port.

  “Well, how about that?” Lorna said. “We’re going to get home soon, then. I don’t think we’re really that far from shore.”

  “Hopefully, not too soon,” Betty said.

  “Why is that? Aren’t you looking forward to returning to your cottage?” Lorna asked. “And seeing Sir-Eats-Alot? And all of the other villagers?”

  “Oh, yes!” Betty said. “Yes, I am. But I’m not ready to get to port at just this moment.”

  “Right,” Lorna said. She had a feeling that Betty might want to catch some shuteye before the ship landed and traveling began.

  The thought of returning to their suite made Lorna a bit antsy. She was too excited at the moment to even contemplate sleep. But if Betty was tired, it would be rude to prolong the night any more.

  “I suppose we should be off to bed,” Lorna said dutifully.

  “Bed? Goodness no!” Betty said. “I couldn't even think of closing my eyes right now. This has been one of the most exciting nights of my life! And you, dear, should be congratulated for your skilled detective work. Sure, Ana and Paula had badges and handcuffs, but you were the one who solved the case! Let’s not forget that.”

  Lorna smiled. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said. “Really, Betty. We solved it together.”

  “Let’s celebrate our success,” Betty suggested. “I know a place that serves up a very robust grapefruit IPA.”

  Lorna’s grin widened. “And a lovely chardonnay,” she said. “Yes, this night does call for a celebration.”

  When the two friends walked into the ship’s bar, it became clear that many of the Mariasca’s passengers were in a mood to celebrate. A loud cheer erupted throughout the room as soon as the two women entered.

  Sandy’s voice called out: “Hip, hip, hooray! Three cheers for the passengers who saved the day!”

  Drinks were served all around. The bartender, sure that the ship’s owner was on his way to prison, felt that it was his personal duty to use up the last of the Mariasca’s liquor supply before the ship docked. “All drinks are on the house!” he called out above the din.

  Lorna sipped her complimentary IPA happily, chatting with the many people who wanted to thank her personally.

  After about an hour of this, Lorna took Betty’s elbow. “How about we head out to the deck for a moment, and I’ll see if the lights of shore are in view?” she suggested.

  Betty was happy to oblige.

  The two made their way into the fresh air, leaving the crowded bar behind. Sandy and several other dancers were putting on an impromptu show. They did the Macarena in a line, and a few guests and crew members mirrored the dance moves. Charlie, in particular, was quite good. But the music was very loud, and Lorna desired some peace and quiet. She sensed that Betty did too.

  They made it to the railing.

  Betty leaned her arms against the rail and faced out over the sparkling water. It was now past one in the morning, nearing two. She had not stayed up so late in years. The salt-water-infused air felt so soft against her skin. She could even seem to feel rays of moonlight dancing on her cheeks and nose, and the faintest heat from the stars above. This was how finely tuned her sense of touch was. It was a beautiful night; she did not need eyesight to know that.

  “Do you see the lights of shore?” Betty asked Lorna.

  Lorna squinted into the distance. “Yes! Just barely. They look like little pin-pricks at this point. They must be a good way off still. I would venture to say that, at this slow pace, we have several hours to go before we reach the port.”

  “Time for some sleep, then,” Betty said.

  “Indeed,” Lorna answered. “We’ll get refreshed for our journey home tomorrow. It will be so good to get back to our peaceful town.”

  “This hasn’t been the most peaceful vacation, has it?” Betty asked, chuckling and shaking her head as she spoke.

  “No, it hasn’t been exactly relaxing,” Lorna said. “In fact, it’s pretty much been the most exciting vacation of my life.”

  Betty burst out laughing. “Quite!” she said. “We’ve been eating delicious food, shopping till we drop, and solving a murder!”

  Lorna had to brace herself against the railing. She was laughing so hard that her whole body shook. If she wasn’t careful, she’d topple right over the railing. That was the last thing she needed. “We’re going to need a vacation from our vacation!” she said, once she was able to catch her breath.

  “Well, at least it was sunny—for most of the trip.”

  “There’s that,” Lorna said. “There was sunshine. There was also a murder, but hey?” she shrugged, feeling a bit like Charlie as she did so. “What can you do?”

  * * *

  “Well?” Muriel asked. She stood in the doorway of her home. It was Sunday, and her cafe was closed. She had the day off.

  Lorna and Betty, having returned to Tweed-upon-Slumber late the night before, had just stopped by to pick up their precious pets.

  “How was it?” Muriel asked. She stepped aside to let the two women enter.

  Sir-Eats-Alot, in all of his overweight glory, waggled his chubby black-lab body at the sight of his owner. Betty handed Muriel a brown paper bag before rushing to her dog and giving him a good hearty hug around his roly-poly neck.

  “It was…interesting and exciting,” Betty said while Sir-Eats-Alot licked her on the face.

  “Very interesting,” Lorna seconded.

  “What’s this?” Muriel asked, peering into the brown bag.

  “Your gown,” said Betty. “And a feather boa that I picked up along the way.”

  “Lovely!” Muriel said, pulling the pink boa from the bag. “Where did you get it? One of the islands?”

  “It got wrapped round my neck during a wild stampede when the ship’s engine went out,” Betty said nonchalantly.

  Muriel’s jaw dropped.

  “We did say it was an interesting vacation,” Lorna said. She caught sight of Lord Nottingham, who was sauntering towards her as if he only half-cared that she’d arrived. He looked fatter than when she’d dropped him off.

  “What have you been feeding him?” Lorna asked as she scooped up her cottage companion.

  “Oh, just this and that. Leftovers from the cafe, mostly. He seems to have a taste for Christmas pudding.”

  “I’m sure he loves it!” Lorna said, nestling her nose into Lord Nottingham’s neck and giving him a kiss. “Do you love Muriel's food? Maybe you’d rather stay here than come home with me.”

  Lord Nottingham gave a loud howl.

  Lorna laughed. She knew that the cat loved her marigold-lined vegetable patch just as much as she did. He had lived at the cottage long before she did, after all. He’d had years to grow attached to it. “All right, I’ll take you home,” she said.

  Betty and Lorna thanked Muriel. As they walked down the sidewalk towards home, it began to sprinkle. The drops of rain felt sweet and refreshing.

  When they reached Lorna’s cottage, they paused to say their goodbyes. Each knew that it wouldn’t
be long before they’d see each other again, but it was a ritual that they’d developed so they stuck to it. They hugged, and Betty kissed the air near both of Lorna’s cheeks.

  “Until next time, love,” Betty said and then turned away. She took a step down the walkway, but then stopped. “Oh! I almost forgot.” She returned to Lorna’s front steps while reaching into her purse.

  “What?” Lorna asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve received more cruise tickets! I don’t know if I can handle another journey out to sea.” A chilly wind whipped raindrops around them, and Lorna pulled her wool scarf up around her neck.

  Betty laughed. She pulled a package from her purse. “Not tickets,” she said. “Just a little souvenir. I discovered it at the gift shop at the Barcelona airport, and I just couldn’t resist.”

  Lorna reached for the package and tore away the paper wrapping.

  Inside was a snow globe.

  Lorna grinned, suddenly very grateful to be home in Tweed-upon-Slumber, despite the gray skies. “I know just where I’ll put this,” she said.

  She did, too.

  As soon as she got inside, she put the globe on the windowsill by her sitting chair. It may not have been the most stylish spot for it, and it certainly didn’t go with the existing living room decor, but it was a good reminder.

  Every time she looked out and saw gray or rainy skies, she was reminded that it could be worse. A lot worse. She could be on a ship, in the middle of the sea, tracking down a murderer.

  “I may never go on a ship again,” Lorna said, sitting down in her chair.

  Lord Nottingham, who had been weaving between her feet since they entered the cottage, jumped into her lap.

  “It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the sunshine,” Lorna said wistfully, stroking her cat’s back. “It’s just that I think I’m more of a land person. I like to feel my feet on the ground.”

  Lord Nottingham gave a happy purr.

  Lorna spoke again. “Oh, Lord Nottingham! I almost forgot to tell you. I think I’m going to get a pair of handcuffs the next time Betty and I go shopping in Whitley. You never know when there’s going to be a murderer on the loose!”