Pieces of Me

by E. L. Todd

  “Yeah…it hurt me too.”

  He rested his face on his paws and whined again.

  “I don’t know why women walk all over me then stomp on my heart. It’s like I’m a punching bag to them. I’ve given up on love. It’s stupid and pointless. I was reckless for a while and fucked anything that moved. Now I’m here…depressed.”

  Apollo moved closer to me then rested his face on my thigh. He looked up at me, like he was sad that I was sad.

  I stared at him because I didn’t understand what was going on.

  Then he released a quiet whine.

  My hand went to his ears and I scratched them. “Well…thanks.”

  ***

  I got ready for bed and Apollo followed me into the room. Instead of jumping up on the bed, he lay down in front of my closet. His chin rested on his paws but his eyes were open. He watched me pull back the covers and turn off the light.

  When I was in bed I tossed and turned like usual. I was so used to sleeping with Lexie that being alone was agonizing. I slept beside her for nearly two years and now my bed was empty. The sheets were cold and they didn’t smell like her anymore. Her essence was completely gone because I sold everything that she ever touched. Everything in my new place was brand new so nothing would remind me of her.

  But I thought about her anyway.

  I sat up and looked at Apollo.

  His eyes were open and he was staring at me.

  Beatrice said I should try sleeping with him. I guess it was worth a shot. “Up here, boy.”

  His ear popped up and he immediately jumped to his feet.

  I patted the bed. “Come on.”

  He jumped on the bed then moved to the spot next to me. He lay down on top of the covers but didn’t touch the pillows.

  I lay there, feeling him breathe beside me. He sighed every once in a while, just like a regular person. Sometimes he moved, trying to get more comfortable. His heat radiated to me just like a human.

  Before I knew it, I was asleep.

  Chapter Eight

  Skye

  I decided to stop by Cayson’s office and see if he wanted to get lunch. I wanted to come by every day but I didn’t want to crowd him. He was already picking me up and dropping me off every day. Sometimes I managed not to grab him and never let go.

  Instead of walking inside like I normally did I approached his assistant’s desk. “Hey, Jessica.”

  “Hey, Skye.” She was surprised to see me. “How are you?”

  “A little uncomfortable but I’m doing okay.” I rested my hand on my stomach.

  “Wow. You’re so big.”

  “Thanks, I think,” I said with a chuckle.

  “It was definitely a compliment,” she said. “You’re glowing.”

  “Thanks. Is he free?”

  “Actually, he has a meeting right now. But he’ll be finished in fifteen minutes if you want to take a seat.”

  I could wait fifteen minutes. “Sure. I’ll just take a seat.”

  “Need some water?”

  “No, I’m okay.” I turned around and approached the chairs.

  A woman was sitting there wearing a dress with heels. She had dark skin like Clementine and almond shaped eyes. Her black hair was pulled in a pretty updo. Her eyes were glued to me and she didn’t blink once as she stared at me. It was like she recognized me but couldn’t think of where.

  She looked familiar to me but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I sat down and looked away, but I could feel her hot stare pierce the side of my face. Her eyes were glued to me in almost a hostile way.

  Jessica turned to her. “Laura, he’s ready for you.”

  She finally pulled her gaze away and stood up.

  Wait…what?

  Laura?

  Now I knew where I recognized her. I saw her once when I Skyped Cayson but I didn’t get a good look at her. But I remember that dark skin and startling brown eyes.

  It was her.

  That husband-stealing whore.

  My nostrils flared and I wanted to rip her apart.

  If I weren’t seven months pregnant I’d kick her ass right then, right there.

  Laura walked inside and shut the door.

  I stared at the wood and tried not to scream.

  Why was she here? Did she work here now? Why didn’t Cayson say anything?

  Cayson’s voice came through the door, and the only reason I could hear him was because he was yelling. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  I flinched because there was so much rage in his voice.

  “Are you insane?” he said. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing? Look, I’m married. I’m happily married. And no matter what you do to rip is apart, it’s never going to work. You could kill Skye and I still wouldn’t be with you. Do you understand?”

  My heart was beating so fast and the blood was pounding in my ears.

  Laura paused for a long time before she spoke, like she was afraid to say anything at all. “I was relocated here. I promise it wasn’t intentional.”

  “You think I’m going to believe that?” he snapped.

  Laura was quiet again.

  “You came here because Sean told you Skye and I were struggling. And you thought you would come down here and exploit that weakness. Well, you wasted your time, Laura.”

  Now I felt more ashamed that I didn’t believe Cayson to begin with.

  “No, that’s not why I’m here,” Laura said calmly. “I was offered the position, the position of a lifetime, and I wasn’t going to turn it down. I’m here to work and nothing else.”

  Fucking liar.

  Cayson finally calmed down. “I don’t have to deal with you every day so I don’t really care. Just do your job. The second you don’t, I will do everything I possibly can to fire you. I’ll be on your ass every second of the day. Do you understand?”

  “I won’t let you down, Cayson.”

  “It’s Mr. Thompson to you.”

  “My apologies…”

  A long bout of silence passed. I wasn’t sure if their conversation was over or not.

  Cayson cleared his throat. “Alright, let’s go over the report.”

  Laura started talking about a new antibiotic being produced in the NIH lab. It turned super scientific and boring.

  I didn’t want to be there when she left. I didn’t trust myself not to scratch her eyes out. And I didn’t want Cayson to know I overheard all of that. I approached Jessica’s desk. “I’m sorry, something came up and I need to leave. Can you not mention to Cayson that I was here at all?”

  “Sure…”

  “Thank you.”

  ***

  I walked into Trinity’s office and saw her on the phone.

  “Slade, I feel fine. No, my back doesn’t hurt and I don’t have any pain in my stomach.” She made eye contact with me and rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not wearing heels. I’m wearing flats.”

  I saw the five-inch stilettos on her feet and raised an eyebrow.

  She waved my look away. “Slade, I have to get back to work.” He obviously kept rambling on the phone because she hung up and tossed the phone on her desk. “He’s such a nightmare.”

  “He just cares.”

  “He actually expects me to wear running shoes to work. I’m only a few weeks along. God, he’s so weird sometimes.”

  “He’s protective,” I said. “There are worse things in the world.” I slowly lowered myself to the chair and put my hand on my stomach.

  “What did you waddle all the way down here for?” she asked. “If you want to get lunch I can come to you.”

  “You won’t believe what just happened.”

  Trinity’s eyes widened and she sat down beside me. “What?”

  I told her the whole story, from beginning to end.

  “Are you kidding me?” She threw her hands down. “That bitch is back again?”

  “Yep.”

  “Cayson doesn’t know you were there?”

  “No, and I don
’t want him to know.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “I just want to stay out of it. He and I are doing really well right now and I don’t want to mess that up by bringing her up. I’d rather just leave it alone.”

  “But don’t you think it’s weird he didn’t tell you about her?”

  “I don’t think it’s weird at all.”

  Trinity’s eyes narrowed.

  “Can you blame him? After everything that happened with her I’m sure he doesn’t want to mention her at all. I didn’t trust him and all the shit hit the fan. I’m sure he doesn’t want to go down that road again.”

  “But he works with her…don’t you think that’s weird?”

  “I’m sure she’s only there because she wants to jump his bones, but that doesn’t really matter.”

  Her jaw dropped. “If some bitch was trying to steal Slade from me I’d kick her ass.”

  I shrugged. “What’s she going to do? Try to kiss him again? Cayson would never cheat on me.” I wish I believed that when it mattered most. “Even though our relationship isn’t steady right now and we’re still going to marriage counseling he would never do anything like that.”

  “You’re right,” she said. “I’m just surprised he didn’t tell you.”

  “Well, we aren’t back together yet so it’s really none of my business.”

  “Uh, no.” She snapped her fingers. “Everything he does is your business. When he takes a shit that’s your business.”

  I smiled slightly. “It’s good to have some mystery in the relationship…”

  “I can’t believe you’re being so calm about this.” She shook her head in disbelief.

  “There’s nothing I can do, and I have no reason to be worried.”

  “Wow…I guess I’m more jealous than you are.”

  “That’s not true,” I said. “You weren’t worried about Dee.”

  “But she doesn’t want him.”

  “We both know that if Slade weren’t married she would be into him.” All girls were into him, especially rocker chicks like that.

  She shrugged in acknowledgment. “I guess you’re right. I do trust him.”

  “You can’t tell Slade any of this. He’ll tell Cayson in a heartbeat.”

  “I won’t,” she said. “But what are you going to do? Just pretend you don’t know anything?”

  “He’ll tell me eventually.”

  “You think?” she asked.

  “Yeah, he’s probably just waiting for the right moment. Even though I’m the one who messed up this relationship I know he wants this marriage to work. He’ll do everything he can not to mess it up.”

  “I guess so.”

  “So, I’ll just wait it out.”

  “And what will you do when he does tell you?”

  I didn’t have an answer to that. I hated Laura with every fiber of my being. She wanted to be Mrs. Thompson. She wanted him to leave me for her. She wanted to be the other woman and ruin my life. “I really don’t know.”

  Chapter Nine

  Cayson

  Skye opened the door. “Morning.”

  “Morning.”

  She wore a loose dress with a thick jacket on top. She looked different today, more tired than usual. While it was difficult for her to get around at this point, she was struggling to carry her large stomach. “Thanks for picking me up.” She said that every morning.

  “No problem.” I helped her to the door and got her in the passenger seat. After I was behind the wheel I drove to the city. Skye slouched in the seat and looked out the window. Her eyes were heavy and lidded. “Didn’t sleep well last night?”

  “It’s hard to sleep every night. My belly is always in the way and my back is sore. My tits are sore too.”

  The idea of her tits being bigger than usual immediately aroused me. I wish I could enjoy them. Not having sex on a regular basis was frustrating. I knew I could get it if I wanted it, but I wanted it to be under better terms. “I can give you a back rub.”

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “Maybe you should go on maternity leave.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” I asked. “You can do pretty much whatever you want.”

  “Conrad is going through a hard time and I can’t put any more pressure on him.”

  “He’s been struggling at work?” I asked.

  “No, he’s fine. We just had a meeting and he was awesome. But I know he’s so heartbroken…I can’t leave him right now.”

  “Sean and Mike are there.”

  “They are figureheads at this point.”

  Skye wouldn’t put strain on anyone else if she could help it, even if it put her out. She’d always been that way.

  After we arrived at PIXEL I walked inside with her.

  “You don’t need to walk me to my office.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t argue, and I knew it was because she was exhausted.

  After we reached her office, she sat in the large leather chair.

  “Can I get you something before I go?” I asked. “Maybe some decaf tea?”

  “That’s very sweet of you, Cayson. But no, I’m okay. I’ll see you later.”

  I stared at her and felt the pity rise in my heart. She should be home and in bed. I wanted my wife to relax and do whatever the hell she wanted. Without thinking twice about it I leaned over the desk and kissed her.

  Her lips flinched like she wasn’t expecting it. Then she responded to me, giving me her soft lips.

  I pulled away before I got carried away. “Let me know if you want me to bring you lunch.”

  “Thanks…”

  I gave her a quick smile before I walked out. Instead of heading to the elevators I walked to Conrad’s office. When I stepped inside, I almost forgot why I was there. “Why is there a dog in here?”

  “Oh.” Conrad eyed the German Shepard on the ground. “That’s Apollo. He’s my new dog.”

  “I didn’t know you were an animal lover.”

  “I wasn’t but he’s pretty cool. I just got him and I didn’t want to leave him alone in the apartment yet.”

  Apollo remained sitting on the floor but he stared at me.

  Conrad must want company in that enormous place of his. At least this was better than screwing anything that moved. If this made him feel better I wouldn’t question it.

  “What brings you here?” I asked.

  “Oh yeah.” I sat in the chair across from him. “Skye has become really uncomfortable with her pregnancy. I can tell she’s ready to go on maternity leave but she won’t ask for it because…she thinks it’ll put you out.”

  He rolled his eyes. “That sounds about right.”

  “Could you talk to her?” I asked. “I know she’s got two months to go but I think she should stay home from now on. You got Mike and Sean here anyway.”

  “I don’t have a problem with it at all. But I think you should talk to Sean about it. Technically, he’s her boss. So, if the command comes from him she’ll do it. If I say something it might not work.”

  He was the last person I wanted to talk to.

  “If I were pregnant, I’d be on maternity leave the entire time,” he said with a laugh. “I definitely wouldn’t be working.”

  I really didn’t want to talk to Sean. Anytime I looked at him I wanted to punch him in the face. But it didn’t seem like I had a choice. “Well, thanks.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And nice dog.”

  “Thanks.” Conrad stared at him with fondness. “He’s pretty cool.”

  I walked out and headed to Sean’s office. When I was there I stood outside because I didn’t want to walk inside. But I had to get used to it because he was my father-in-law and there was no way around it. I’d have to deal with him one way or another.

  I knocked before I walked inside.

  Sean was sitting at his desk with a distant look in his eyes. His mind seemed to be elsewhere before I walked inside. Whe
n he realized it was me, surprise stretched across his face. Then there was hope.

  “I’m here to talk about Skye.” I didn’t want him to make assumptions I was there for any other reason.

  “Take a seat.” He didn’t hide the disappointment on his face.

  I sat in the cushioned chair. “It’s time for her to go on maternity leave. She’s uncomfortable and tired, and she should be home eating ice cream in bed. I talked to Conrad and he said he can handle the place on his own.”

  “And why are you telling me this?”

  “So you can tell her to go on maternity leave. If you expect her to make that decision she’ll be here every day until her water breaks.”

  “You have a point.” He was cold and distant with me, and there was the distinct hint of self-loathing.

  “So, you’ll talk to her?”

  “Yes, I will after lunch.”

  “Thanks.” Now that we were done I stood up.

  “Cayson?”

  Here we go. I turned around.

  “Are you going to hate me forever?” The sadness in his eyes even hurt me.

  “I don’t hate you, Sean.”

  “Then…are you going to feel this way toward me forever?”

  “I don’t know. But it looks that way.”

  He averted his gaze like he’d been stung. “Mercy. Give me mercy.”

  I couldn’t keep having this conversation. “Just let it go and move on.”

  “Let it go?” he asked. “I’m never going to let you go, Cayson. If I have to spend the rest of my life trying to convince you I’m sorry then that’s what I’ll do.”

  “You just want to get your friend back,” I said. “It has nothing to do with me.”

  His eyes squinted in offense. “You think I’m only trying to fix this because of my relationship with Cortland?”

  “Frankly, yes.”

  He shook his head. “Cortland is a good friend of mine and I’ve known him for a long time. But I love you in a way I’ll never love him. You’re a son to me. I want to make this right because of you, no other reason.”

  I headed to the door.

  “You’re just going to shut me out?” His voice rose and it was full of anger.

  I turned back to him. “I’m done talking about this.”

  He rubbed his temple and clenched his jaw like he was trying not to snap. His patience was waning. “Fine. Have a good day, Cayson.” He turned back to his computer and pretended I wasn’t there.