A Reckless Life

by Michelle Files

  “Are you serious?” He was taking long, quick strides directly toward me. “You planned this whole thing?” He stopped only a few inches in front of me. I could see the anger in his eyes. They were cold and hard. It was a bit scary.

  “What? Where did you come from? What did you hear?” I was suddenly terrified of what he had overheard.

  “I heard it all. About how you and my mother planned it all.” He looked over at his mother and back to me. “How could you do this?” He seemed more hurt by the fact that I betrayed him than his mother betraying him.

  “No, you don’t understand. We didn’t plan it…” I tried to explain, but he interrupted me.

  “Just stop right there.” He put his palm up toward me. “I heard everything. You can’t deny it now. I can’t believe you did this! Either one of you.” He backed up a bit then, so he could see both of us together. I don’t think I have ever seen him so angry.

  “How did your talk with Sarah go?” I think this was Violet’s misguided attempt to change the subject a bit and calm him down.

  “I haven’t talked to her yet. I was listening to your conversation through the door.” He didn’t seem sorry one bit about eavesdropping.

  “Adam, I love you. It’s not what you think,” I tried to explain. As I reached for his arm to calm him down, he jerked it away from me.

  “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe anything you have to say. You’ve been lying to me all this time! We are through. I will never forgive you for this,” he said through clenched teeth in a very aggressive, and scary way.

  Adam then turned and walked out. I started to follow him, but he turned on me abruptly. “Don’t you dare come after me.”

  I stopped in my tracks and covered my face, crying. For a while I had someone in the house that was on my side, someone that loved me even when it felt like everyone around hated me. Now all of that was gone. Adam walked out without another word. My betrayal was something that we might never recover from.

  “Now look what you have done,” Violet started in on me.

  “What I have done? You did this. This thing is entirely your fault. You need to explain to him that I did not agree to any of this stupid plan with you.” I meant it, too.

  “I will do no such thing. And now you are carrying my grandchild. You better not dare leave this house with that baby.”

  “Just get away from me!” I screamed, running from the room.

  I ran all the way to my room, threw myself on my bed and cried for an hour. At one point, Oliver sent one of the maids to look for me and I told her I was not feeling well and would not be in to work. He would just have to get over it. I knew he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, fire me. They wouldn’t voluntarily throw me out of the house while I was pregnant with their heir. In a few months, that might be a different story though. Until then, I felt like I was pretty safe.

  Chapter 18

  “Adam told me about the baby,” Sarah hissed at me the next morning while I was clearing the breakfast dishes from the dining room table.

  She had stayed behind after everyone went on about their day. Before she even said anything, I figured that she knew, by the way she was glaring at me all through breakfast. It made me very nervous and my hands started to shake. At one point I almost dropped an armload of dishes and food I was carrying, but Adam jumped up and saved the entire haul, at the last possible moment. I tried to thank him, but he ignored me and sat back down. He was not going to forgive me anytime soon. After serving everyone I went back to the kitchen to calm down. Finally everyone was gone, except Sarah. Oh goody.

  “I see.” It was the only thing I said in response to her declaration.

  There was no point in arguing with her about it. She had a right to be angry and I had no defense on my part. I didn’t think that telling her I was in love with her husband was going to help. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut, she might calm down some.

  I walked into the kitchen and put an armload of dishes in the sink. She stayed in the other room and I really hoped she would be gone when I went back in for the rest of the dishes. No such luck. As I walked back into the dining room, she stood up and started following me around.

  “Is that all you have to say for yourself?” she asked me. It was obvious she was angry. I expected that. I would be, if I were her.

  “I really don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry?” I looked back at her nervously, since she was right on my heels.

  “Is that a question? Are you asking me if you are sorry?” she snapped.

  I stopped and turned around to face her. “No. I’m really sorry. It was stupid and I hurt you. I had no right to do that.” I meant it too. I was the one in the wrong, not Sarah.

  “No you didn’t. Adam is my husband and he will never leave me for you.” She sounded very confident of that.

  “I know.” I replied, looking down at my feet in shame. She was right. He would never leave her for me. Violet would not let that happen.

  “What do you plan to do now?” she asked.

  “I guess I’m going to have a baby.”

  She looked even angrier then, her expression tight. “You don’t need to get smart with me. You know what I mean. Are you planning to raise this baby alone?”

  “I really don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I have to talk to Adam about it.”

  I started walking away from her, back toward the kitchen, when she grabbed me by the arm and stopped me. She whirled me around to face her, causing me to drop the dishes in my hands. We both looked down at the mess. Just great, more work for me.

  “I don’t think so. You are not to have anymore conversations with Adam alone. All conversations will include me from now on. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it.” I jerked my arm away from her and walked back to the kitchen with another load of dishes. I left the mess on the floor for the time being. I didn’t want to be in the room alone with Sarah any longer than I needed to be. When I returned, she was gone. Thank goodness.

  About an hour later I heard Adam and Sarah arguing viciously. They were in the library, with the door closed, but it really didn’t help much. They were screaming. Even though they were so loud, their words were mostly muffled by the books, walls and doors. It wasn’t really my intention to try to listen, but I found myself standing outside the door anyway. I could pick out a few words here and there. I heard my name a few times, and I heard Violet’s name too. I didn’t really know what Violet had to do with any of this. I’m sure Sarah had no idea what Violet had been plotting, but around that house, you never knew what was going on. There were so many lies and such deceit, I just didn’t know what to think anymore. I wondered if Adam told Sarah about Violet’s plan. He wouldn’t dare tell her, would he? There was no reason for him to now. I was already pregnant, so why get his mother all wrapped up in this if he didn’t need to? It was his mother though, and they were very close, so who knows.

  The fight was obviously about me and the baby. So, I had to listen in. After about ten minutes of standing there eavesdropping, I saw Oliver heading toward me in the hall and I turned around and took off the other way. I know he saw me, but I ran anyway. What a coward I was.

  For the next couple of days I didn’t even see Sarah, and Adam seemed to vanish quickly whenever we ended up in the same room together. I guess everyone was avoiding me. Boy, this was going to be a really long seven or so months. Wow, only seven months to figure out what I was going to do. That kind of seemed like a long time to figure something out, but it really wasn’t. This was a decision that was going to affect the rest of my life. Would I have the baby and raise it alone, with no help from anyone? Would Adam send me money? Would Sarah even let him help? Would Adam come visit the baby? Would he leave her for me? Doubtful. But, in my mind there was always hope. Maybe he would come around and realize again that I was the one for him, not Sarah. He didn’t love her like he loved me. I knew that. I just needed him to know that. He did a few days ago, but now he was so angry with me, because of Viole
t, that he wouldn’t even be in the same room with me. I hated Violet for that. She caused all of these problems. If it weren’t for her, Adam and I would be together now, happy and in love, expecting our first child. At least in my head that is the way it would have all worked out. In reality? I don’t think I’ll ever know. I seriously doubted that Adam would come around, unless Violet told him the truth, and I couldn’t fathom that happening in any way whatsoever.

  “Can I talk to you?” Adam startled me in the stables and I flinched. I had been brushing one of the horses and was lost in thought.

  “Oh, I didn’t hear you walk up. What do you want to talk about?” I was encouraged that he wanted to talk to me at all.

  He looked around to make sure that no one was within earshot. He even went so far as to look in every single stall, which took several minutes. I just stood there, wondering what in the world was so secretive that he was terrified of anyone hearing.

  “Maybe we should go for a walk, away from prying ears,” he said, looking around nervously.

  “Adam, I’ve been in here for half an hour alone. No one is here. What do you want to talk about?” I was getting impatient.

  “Well, okay.” He still looked very nervous, while rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Sarah, my mother, and I all had a talk about you.”

  “I’m sure you did. Can’t wait to hear how that turned out,” I answered back, sarcastically.

  He seemed to overlook my sarcasm and continued what he was saying.

  “Sarah and I would like to raise the baby together.” He seemed apprehensive when saying it, and just stood there waiting for me to respond.

  “What? Are you kidding me? You are kidding, right?” I didn’t know how else to respond to what he just said. My heart began to race with fear and worry. “This can’t be true. Where will I be in all of this?” I was afraid to ask.

  “Well, you won’t be anywhere. We will be raising the baby, not you.”

  “This was your mother’s idea, wasn’t it?” I was becoming agitated.

  “Well..I guess. I mean, she brought it up, but we both liked the idea. Why does it matter anyway?”

  “Wait, let me see if I got this right. I stay here, have your baby and then leave so Sarah can adopt it? Is that about right?” I was starting to get a bit freaked out.

  “Well…not exactly.” He hesitated while saying it.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “We want to have the baby together. Sarah and I. We want everyone to think she is pregnant with my child, not you.”

  When he said that, my head started spinning. I started seeing stars and felt faint. I reached instinctively for a chair, so I wouldn’t fall. But we were in the stables and there wasn’t one within reach. As everything went black, I saw Adam lunge toward me and grab me, just as my knees gave way.

  Chapter 19

  When I woke up, I was in the parlor on the first floor, laying on the couch. Everyone was standing over me. And I mean everyone. I think the entire family and every single servant, as well as a few ranch hands were packed into the room, staring. Sarah was kneeling beside me, taking my blood pressure.

  “You’re pressure is fine,” she told me, standing back up.

  With all the people gathered around me, I felt like they were depleting all the oxygen in the room. I started breathing quickly, trying to get some air. I thought sitting up might help. As I I tried to sit up, Adam leaned over and put his hand behind my back to help me. At that moment, I looked up to see Sarah glaring at him. Adam saw her too and abruptly let go of me, causing me to almost fall onto the floor. But, I righted myself, no thanks to him.

  “What is going on?” I asked, just a little confused. I hadn’t completely gotten my senses back and didn’t quite remember the scene in the stables.

  “You fainted,” Adam told me.

  I thought for just a moment. “Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m fine. Everyone can go now.” I was a bit embarrassed by all the people standing over me.

  “Everyone out!” shouted Violet, waving her arms as they all dispersed in short order. Only Adam, Sarah and Violet remained. The room went from dozens of voices to very quiet almost instantly. It was unnerving.

  “Are you all right?” Adam asked me, looking very concerned as he kneeled beside me.

  “Yes, I said I’m fine.” I tried to stand up again.

  “Please stay where you are. We’d like to talk to you,” Sarah said, sounding almost pleasant. I sat back down and she sat on the couch next to me.

  “Okay,” Sarah continued, “I know that Adam tried to explain to you what we wanted, but clearly did not do a very good job at it.” She gave him another one of her looks.

  “Oh no, Adam told me exactly what you want. It’s the same thing Violet has been trying to get me to do for months.”

  With that, we all turned to look at Violet. She just shrugged her shoulders. “I was just trying to help,” she told us. The innocent act was not working on me.

  “Look, Abbey, you are in no position to raise a baby and we are,” Adam told me. He was right about that. “We can give it a good home, a family, a great education, anything he or she needs. You won’t be able to do that.”

  I thought about what he said. He made some really good points. I was not quite sixteen years old, about to have a baby, and had no plan whatsoever. I had nowhere to live, no money, no husband, nothing. I couldn’t think of a good argument to that, so I didn’t respond.

  Then Sarah jumped back in. “It may sound strange to you, but if I’m going to raise this baby, I want everyone to think it’s mine. I don’t want to have to explain constantly why I’m raising a child that my husband had with another woman. People would not understand and he or she wouldn’t be accepted the way our child together would. You don’t want that for your child, do you?” she asked me. She seemed to be holding her breath while waiting for an answer from me.

  “No, not really.” I couldn’t argue with her. She was probably right. All I wanted was for my child to be happy and healthy, even if that meant I was not the one to raise him or her. “I need to think about it. Can we talk about this later?”

  “Of course.” Adam responded. “Sarah said you are okay, so you can go. Do you want me to walk you to your room?” He looked quickly over at Sarah when he asked me that.

  “I’ll take her,” Violet chimed in.

  She kind of pushed her way in between Adam and me, and took my arm to walk me toward my room. While on the way, she couldn’t resist the urge to give me her opinion on the whole situation.

  “Abigail, I know this must be very difficult for you, but this really is the best solution for all involved.”

  “Is it?” I asked her.

  “Of course. Do you want to raise your child alone out on the streets? Because that is what is going to happen. Adam will not be supporting this child, if he is not the one raising it. I will see to that.” I could tell by her tone that she certainly meant business.

  “I think Adam can decide that for himself.” I regretted saying it the instant it came out of my mouth.

  “Have you not met me?” she retorted. I got the point.

  Just then we reached my room and I stopped just inside the door. I didn’t want her following me in.

  “My, I had forgotten how sad these little rooms are,” she said, looking past me, taking in the room. “It’s been years since I’ve been in this part of the house. We will talk in the morning,” she said as she turned and walked away.

  God, I hated that woman. She was the most horrible, nasty person I had ever met. And, that is saying a lot, after my background as a drug addict. I have certainly met some vile people, but Violet was the worst. I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy.

  The next morning, very early, when the sunlight was just starting to peek in between the slats of the blinds on my window, came a knock at my bedroom door. It wasn’t a quiet, timid knock either. You know, the kind of knock someone makes when they know you are probably a
sleep, but want to wake you anyway? No, it wasn’t that. It was a loud, almost pounding noise against the door. It startled me and I sat up quickly in bed.

  “What?” I said groggily, while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

  “It’s Adam and Sarah. We need to talk to you.” It was Adam’s voice on the other side of the door.

  “What? Why?” I still wasn’t fully awake. “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s about the baby,” he kind of whispered loudly, if there is such a thing.

  Were they serious? “I’m going to be pregnant for several more months. I’m sure this can wait until breakfast!” I yelled back, hoping everyone would hear me.

  It was quiet on the other side of the door for a full minute. I could kind of hear them talking in a whisper, but couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. I laid back down and started to doze back off, when Adam started talking again, waking me back up. Jeez, can’t a girl get any sleep in this house?

  “Fine, Abbey. We will talk to you at breakfast.”

  I didn’t even bother answering as I heard them walk away. There would be plenty of time for talking later and I fell back asleep quickly.

  A couple of hours later, I was serving breakfast to them in the small dining room, like I did most mornings, when Sarah asked me to sit down. She definitely wasn’t inviting me to have breakfast with them. Heaven forbid. She just wanted me to sit, so I sat. She looked around to make sure there were no prying ears nearby. It was just Adam and Sarah for breakfast, no Violet, which was very unusual. She ate breakfast with them almost every morning.

  “As you can see, Violet is not here today,” Sarah said. I’m pretty sure she was not expecting a response. “We wanted to talk to you about this whole situation without her here.”

  “Okay.”

  “We know that you are young and really can’t raise a baby on your own.”