Broken Together

by Cassie Beebe

  When they got to the ferry station, Jacob decided to shell out the extra few bucks for tickets that would allow them to see the view from the crown. It was, after all, Jenna’s first time in New York, and he hadn’t been to the island since he was a kid, when his mother took him and Maggie out to explore the city.

  Seeing Lady Liberty was the only thing his mother had deemed worthy of spending money on that day, but apparently, they didn’t have enough at the time to actually go inside. It wasn’t until years later that Jacob even knew people were allowed to go to the top of the statue, but by the time he learned that, he had lost interest in the idea. So, this would be a first for both of them.

  The architecture of the spiral staircase inside, along with the dome ceiling that made up the statue’s head, was almost as beautiful as the magnificent view from the crown’s windows. The city stretched out before them, past the vibrant blue waters of the bay.

  “Wow,” Jenna breathed.

  “Seriously,” Jacob agreed.

  They took in the view in silence for a while, as the other tourists around them chatted and pointed out landmarks to each other. Once their time was up and they descended the stairs, they had planned to explore more of the island before heading to Central Park, to get their money’s worth for the ferry tickets. However, without shelling out more cash for the museums, there wasn’t much to do, so they decided to head back to the mainland. Giving a final salute to Lady Liberty, they boarded the return ferry.

  “How are you so good at this?” Jacob demanded.

  Jenna laughed, swirling around him easily on the ice as he struggled to keep himself upright on the thin blades beneath his feet.

  Before heading to Central Park, they stopped at a hot dog stand for a quick meal to take on the subway with them. Jenna had spotted an Italian-themed diner she wanted to try, but the line to be seated was almost out the door, so they decided to check back there another night, opting for something quicker this time. They had explored most of the free parts of the park before Jenna decided to spring for tickets to the Wollman Ice Rink, dragging a very hesitant Jacob along with her.

  “I’ve been skating a couple times,” she said, doing a cautious spin and stumbling a bit at the end of it. “And I used to roller blade a lot as a kid, but it’s not quite the same. This is actually easier.”

  Jacob snorted at that, holding out his arms to steady himself. “Somehow I doubt that.”

  She chuckled, swinging back around to stand in front of him. “Okay, bend your knees and spread your legs.”

  “You gonna buy me dinner first, or…?”

  “Har har,” she rolled her eyes. “Just do as you’re told.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, mimicking her posture with wobbly feet.

  Her advice helped, and he was feeling a bit more grounded, but moving forward pushed him off balance again. He swung his arm out to steady himself, instinctively clutching onto her shoulder for support.

  She let out a surprised “oh!” as his weight nearly sent her tumbling to the ice, and he blushed, quickly standing upright and taking his arm back.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s okay.”

  Aside from the unusual circumstance of pretending to be a couple at Bellevue, Jacob couldn’t help but notice that she had been more distant than usual. Ever since that night after the bonfire, everything changed, and although most of those changes had gone back to some level of normalcy, her casual touch had yet to fully return. He was surprised to find that he missed it.

  Jenna went back to skating circles around him – literally – while he struggled to get his bearings. She continued to advise him on his posture and the positioning of his feet, and after a while, he was able to glide along the cool ice with a small degree of confidence.

  He was still struggling to get up to any amount of speed that could really be considered “skating,” though, and he was starting to get frustrated with the task. His lack of skill in the activity had been humorous at first, as they both laughed at his wobbly legs, but if they were on the rink much longer, he knew he was going to lose patience with the struggle to stay upright while everyone around him was moving effortlessly.

  “See, you’re getting the hang of it,” Jenna encouraged, trying out a criss-cross pattern with her own feet and somehow managing to look graceful even when she stumbled.

  A rough sigh escaped him in spite of his efforts to be a good sport. “Yeah, I guess.”

  She turned around at his tone of voice, taking note of the ill-concealed impatience on his face. After a moment of consideration, she twirled around him so they were face to face.

  “Here,” she said, reaching out to take his hands.

  He rested his fingers in her palms and squeezed tightly as she pulled him along, moving backward on the ice. She faltered a few more times than she had before, not used to the motion of skating backward. But the extra support from her helped him to rise up from his hunched position, standing tall and finally able to catch some speed and move his feet to the rhythm of the motion.

  “Try to keep your ankles straight,” she said, looking down at his feet as they moved. He adjusted, and she nodded. “There you go.”

  She looked up at him with a grin. “You’re skating!” she exclaimed.

  He chuckled. “Barely,” he shook his head. Catching her eye again, he smiled. “Thanks.”

  They made a lap around the rink like that, hands gripping each other and Jenna skating backward, until he got the hang of the movement. Once he was more comfortable, she twirled to his side, keeping one of his hands tightly in hers.

  A cluster of teenagers zoomed by Jacob’s side, throwing him briefly off balance, and he swore under his breath.

  “Geez, slow down,” he muttered, righting himself again.

  Jenna snickered, shaking her head in mock disapproval. “Those darn hooligans, with their fast skating and their Britney Spears albums.”

  Jacob barked a laugh, almost throwing himself off balance again in the process.

  He expected her to let go of his hand once he was no longer in danger of falling on his face, but after a while, when they were gliding smoothly along the surface of the ice together, she still held on.

  They made it back to the hotel late, red-nosed and wet from the rain that had picked up while they were out. They sprang for a cab, instead of taking the trek to the subway station in the poor weather, but even the short walk from the taxi to the front door of the hotel had them drenched.

  “Would it be weird if I took a bath?” Jenna asked as they shed their outerwear, hanging everything up in the hotel closet to dry. “I used to love a hot bath after a long day, but we don’t have tubs on campus.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Jacob shrugged. “Just give me a minute first.”

  He headed in to use the restroom and brush his teeth, grabbing a hand towel on the way out to dry his hair from the rain.

  “All yours,” he said, and Jenna gathered her pajamas and phone, turning on the tub faucet as she shut the door behind her.

  As Jacob dressed for bed and tried to get most of the water out of his hair, he could hear her trying to choose a music playlist as the tub filled. Eventually, the water shut off, and some unintelligible melody with a long guitar solo introduction filtered through the thin walls.

  Jacob knocked softly on the door. “Hey, Jenna?” he called.

  “Yeah?” she replied, turning down her music to hear.

  “I was just gonna let you know that I’m going to bed,” he said.

  “Oh, okay,” she answered. “Goodnight.”

  “‘Night,” he replied, and she turned her music back up to a lower, background-level volume.

  Climbing into bed, Jacob thought about the previous night. It was a pleasant surprise, being able to get such solid rest for the first time without his medication. He was still anxious, though, cautiously hopeful that the unusual pattern would continue.

  Nearly an hour after dri
fting to sleep, his eyes flitted open. He awoke naturally, but he still felt an inexplicable tension as he glanced around the room, trying to understand what may have roused him. As he looked around, he noticed that Jenna still hadn’t come to bed. Looking at the clock on the nightstand to confirm the late hour, he stepped out of his bed, confused.

  “Jenna?” he called out sleepily, rubbing his tired eyes as he shuffled his feet to the bathroom.

  Just as he reached out to knock on the door, his foot stepped into a shallow puddle that was forming on the floor. His initial confusion over the water quickly turned to concern, and he knocked loudly on the door, calling out her name again. She didn’t respond, though the music was silent and nothing but the running water of the faucet could be heard. He didn’t want to invade her privacy, but as he called her name again with no reply, a knot tangled wildly in his stomach. He tried to turn the knob, but the door was locked. With a deep breath, he took a few steps back and pushed in the door with heavy force, breaking off a portion of the wood frame as it swung open.

  The bathroom floor was covered in a thin layer of water as it overflowed from the full tub, and Jenna lay still in a crimson pool, her arm hanging over the edge as red drops trickled from her wrist.

  Fear overcame him as the faucet continued to pour more water into the room and the blood flowed more rapidly from her arm. For a brief moment, he was frozen as he took in the all-too-familiar scene. Then, with a quick stride and tears already falling from his wide eyes, he crossed the flooded room and grabbed her hand to pull her out of the deep water.

  Jacob’s eyes flew open, and he took in a sharp gasp. He was disoriented as he struggled to catch his breath, still tightly grasping Jenna’s hand. He quickly realized that he was still in his bed. Jenna was sitting beside him, holding tightly to his hand. He was vaguely aware of her muttering some form of encouragement as she stroked his hair, but the largest portion of his barely conscious mind was focused on confirming that the terrifying experience really was just a dream.

  As his breathing returned to normal, his eyes struggling to stay open, he turned her hand over in his palm, running his fingers gently over the scarred but unbroken skin of her wrist.

  “Hey,” she whispered, eying him with grave concern as he looked over her arm. “You okay?”

  He finished his examination and squeezed her hand firmly with a sigh of relief. His watery eyes began to flutter closed, and she gently pressed his head down.

  “It’s alright. Just go back to sleep,” she whispered, encouraging him to surrender to his fatigue.

  With one last sniffle, his head fell back on his pillow.

  Just a dream. Just a dream.

  He repeated the mantra in his head, holding tightly to her hand as he drifted off again.

  JACOB SPENT MOST OF the following day groggily trekking behind Jenna as she explored the city. She dragged him along from sight to sight, taking pictures of the buildings and selfies of them in front of oversized Christmas ornaments and some of the characters wandering around Times Square. He did his best to smile through it all, but the lack of good rest was wearing on him.

  They didn’t talk about the night before, and the more time passed, the hazier the memory became, leaving him wondering if it even happened at all. Jenna was snugly tucked into her own bed when he awoke that morning, but the fact that he was covered in sweat seemed to indicate the nightmare was real.

  The Metropolitan Museum of Art was nearly a death sentence in his current state. He found his eyes hazing over every few minutes, and he kept having to shake himself awake again.

  Thankfully for him, Jenna wasn’t much of an art person either. Halfway through the tour, she grabbed his hand, pulling him along as they slipped away from the tour group and wandered around the museum on their own, admiring the beautiful pieces and poking fun at the not-so-beautiful ones.

  After the museum, Jacob had gained a bit of energy, and it lasted him through the rest of the day. Jenna had found an article on her phone entitled “45 Fun and Free Things to Do in New York City,” and it led them to spaces of the city he had never seen before. Mostly cemeteries and walking trails, but still.

  After the long previous night and Jacob spending most of the day fighting against his fluttering eyelids, Jenna suggested they turn in early. He protested at first, insisting they make the most of her first trip to New York, but he didn’t have the energy to fight her on the decision for long.

  By the time they made it back to the room, his body was completely drained, but his mind was still running a mile a minute. It was as if his head hitting the pillow had become some kind of signal to his brain that now was the time to kick it into high gear. He stared at the ceiling for a long while, examining the unique pattern of the paint and drywall, noting the differences between this ceiling and the one in his dorm room back in Ohio. He wondered if all insomniacs were so well-acquainted with ceiling architecture, or if it was just him.

  He huffed out a sigh, flipping over to his stomach to see if that would somehow fix the problem. It didn’t work, and his arm was too big under his pillow for comfort, so he turned back over and sighed again.

  “Okay, that’s it,” Jenna declared, stepping out from under her covers. She strode over to the chair where she had piled most of her belongings, stepping into her slippers. “Come on.”

  Jacob sat up in his bed. “Where are we going?”

  “I saw a 24-hour pharmacy down the street,” she said, donning her sweatshirt. “We’re going to get you some sleeping pills, so you can stop huffing and puffing like a damn asthmatic dragon.”

  He was about to sigh again, but he caught himself. “Jenna, it’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

  “Well I won’t,” she said. “I’m never gonna get any sleep with you over there tossing and turning.”

  When he didn’t get up, she picked up his jacket and tossed it at him.

  He sighed, despite his best effort. “Okay, I’m coming.”

  “Wouldn’t it be faster to just ask the pharmacist which one is strongest?” Jenna asked as Jacob perused the over-the-counter medication options.

  Of course it would have, if it weren’t for the fact that the man behind the counter had been glaring at Jacob since they stepped in the door. At first, the man’s gaze was curious, like he was trying to figure out why he recognized him. But now, by the skeptical glower he was receiving, he knew he had figured it out. His face had been all over the news for a number of years, when he was on the run and during his trial, maybe even in a story to announce his release from Bellevue, although he didn’t know for sure about that one.

  “Um…,” Jacob trailed off, glancing back at the employee’s cautious gaze. “Probably,” he agreed, wondering what kind of assumptions the man would make of him, a convicted kidnapper, asking for advice about sedatives while Jenna stood sleepily nearby. “But it’s okay. I can just look.”

  Jenna let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh gosh, please don’t be the ‘I don’t need to stop for directions’ guy right now,” she said with a yawn.

  Feeling guilty for keeping her away from sleep for longer than necessary, he looked back at the cashier again. “Okay,” he surrendered. “But… could you ask?”

  Narrowing her eyes and glancing between Jacob and the cashier, she whispered, “What, do you know that guy or something?”

  With a humorless chuckle, Jacob replied, “No, but it seems like he knows me.”

  “I thought you didn’t let stuff like that get to you,” she said with a sympathetic tilt of the head.

  “Well, I usually don’t. But,” he added with a wry grin, “I’m usually not in a drug store at two in the morning with a beautiful woman, trying to find prescription-strength sedatives.”

  Jenna chuckled under her breath at the implication that could be inferred. “Gotcha,” she said, understanding. “I’ll go ask him,” she offered, patting Jacob on the shoulder with a smirk on her way to the register.

  She exchanged a few kind words with the empl
oyee while Jacob continued to look through his options. Returning after a few minutes, she pushed past him and bent down to grab a small box from the bottom shelf.

  “Here,” she said, handing it over with a smile.

  Jacob took the box from her hand, turning it over with skepticism to read the back label. They weren’t even close to the strength of the pills he had back home, but they were better than anything else he had seen in over-the-counter drugs, so he decided it was worth a shot.

  He took his purchase back to the counter, paying quickly and trying to ignore the judgmental glances of the cashier. Jenna watched from his side as he cleared his throat uncomfortably, waiting for his receipt.

  Heading out the door, Jacob took a deep breath as they fell into a lazy stride beside each other. “And that,” he began, “is why I left New York.”

  Jenna looked at him as he kept his exasperated gaze on the pavement ahead. “Did people used to stare at you like that a lot?”

  “Well…,” Jacob reluctantly admitted, “I didn’t really stick around long enough to find out. But that’s about what I expected.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” she shook her head, looking down at her slippers as they walked.

  After a few minutes of silence, she looked up again, a small smirk touching her lips.

  “So…,” she began. “Beautiful woman, huh?” she asked, peeking at him from the corner of her eye with a teasing grin.

  Jacob chuckled. “Shut up,” he said, looking ahead with a small blush, shoving his hands in his pockets as the wind picked up.

  She laughed and slipped her arm through his, pulling herself closer to him to combat the cold breeze.

  He peered back at her, momentarily distracted by the return of her casual embrace, and thought about how different the trip would have been without her there. “Hey,” he interjected, catching her gaze. “I wanted to say thank you.”

  “For what?” she asked with furrowed brows.

  “You know,” he shrugged. “For coming here, for dealing with Bellevue and my… strange sleeping habits,” he smirked. “You’ve been very patient. And forgiving. And I really appreciate it.” Giving her a kind smile, he added, “I’m really glad you’re here.”