Broken Together

by Cassie Beebe

  She smiled in return. “Me, too.”

  Upon returning to their room, Jacob promptly popped a few of his newly purchased sleeping pills into his mouth and washed them down with some tap water from the bathroom sink. He let out a loud, grunting sigh as he plopped down on top of his disheveled bedding.

  “And now we wait,” he declared.

  Jenna sat down beside him on his bed, removing her slippers and coat and tossing them on the nearby chair. “How long do they usually take to kick in?” she asked.

  “Could be a while,” Jacob answered, glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

  “Well, I guess I’ll keep you company, then,” Jenna replied, pulling her legs underneath her and leaning against the headboard.

  “Okay,” Jacob hesitantly agreed, “but as soon as I’m out, you should get some sleep.”

  “I’ll do my best,” she said.

  Her comment sparked his curiosity. “Hey, what’s that about, anyway?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “I mean,” he paused to yawn, “I know why I can’t sleep. Why can’t you?”

  “I don’t know,” Jenna replied on instinct before considering a more suitable answer. “I guess… after Tom…,” she trailed off, uncertain. Glancing back at Jacob’s attentive gaze, she finished, “I guess I just never got used to sleeping alone.”

  “Hm,” he muttered. He tried to imagine what it would feel like to have a perfect partner in life, to get used to the sense of security in having that one special person always by your side, only to have that life taken away from you before it even had time to blossom. It reminded him of another familiar life that was stolen too soon.

  “You know,” he spoke into the silent darkness, staring blankly at the ceiling. “When I was a kid, when things got heated with my parents, my sister used to sneak into my bed in the middle of the night.”

  Jenna slumped down further, turning toward Jacob and propping her head up with her elbow.

  “And I use the word ‘sneak’ lightly,” he smirked.

  She chuckled.

  “She would curl up next to me on top of the covers, and then she would get up early to try to sneak back up to her bed before I woke up.” He sighed at the memory, turning toward Jenna with tired eyes and an understanding smile. “It’s easy to get used to.”

  Jenna smiled back. “Did you ever tell her you knew?”

  “Nah,” he replied, turning his gaze back to the ceiling before letting his eyes close. “I didn’t want her to be embarrassed.”

  A minute passed, and he added, “Because if she was embarrassed, she would stop doing it. And if she stopped doing it, then I would have to admit how much I needed it.”

  Jenna smirked and rolled her eyes. “Oh, so you’re one of those.”

  His brows furrowed over his barely open eyes, the pills starting to take effect. “What do you mean?”

  “You know,” she began, “those guys who always have to be the strongest person in the room.”

  Jacob let out snort, shaking his head as his eyes fell closed again. “I was never the strongest one in the room.” He took in a breath, sleepily meeting her gaze. “She was. She just didn’t know it.”

  Jenna smiled at his admiration for his sister, and for a long moment their eyes were locked together as they breathed deeply in the silence. Her eyes bored into his just as his lids began to drift shut. Not a moment later, he took in another sharp intake of breath, startling himself awake. Jenna flinched back at his sudden movement, and he could have sworn she was closer than she had been before he closed his eyes.

  “Sorry,” he muttered, running his hand across his face.

  Jenna had quickly returned to her sitting position, preparing to vacate the bed. “You should get some sleep,” she decided.

  “Yeah, you too,” he said.

  “I will,” she promised, rising from his bed and climbing into her own.

  In the darkness, with only the pale street lights shining in through a crack in the curtains, and with the soothing sounds of rushing cars driving on the streets below, they both slept soundly through the night.

  “OH MY GOSH, I cannot believe that took so long,” Jenna whined, clutching her empty stomach.

  They had been debating whether to get lunch or visit the Empire State Building first, and since neither of them were particularly hungry at the time, they opted for the latter option.

  About three hours later, when they finally reached the front of the line and were escorted into the elevator to raise them to the top of the building, it was clear that they had chosen poorly. Jacob noted in retrospect that they shouldn’t have planned that activity on Christmas Day. Even as they looked out at the majestic bird’s eye view of the city, they could hardly enjoy the beauty of the moment through the growling in their guts.

  They admired the view for a tiny fraction of the amount of time they had waited in line to see it, and spent the entirety of the time talking about where they wanted to get food afterward.

  As soon as they were brought safely back to the ground, Jenna whipped out her map of the city and Jacob examined its contents to re-orient himself with what restaurants were close by.

  They passed by several places as he searched the map, all either out of their budget or overflowing with a long line of hungry customers waiting to be seated.

  “Oh! I know a great place. It’s a little café around the corner, hardly ever busy,” Jacob said, pointing it out on her map. “They have, like, sandwiches and wraps and stuff. Does that sound good?”

  “If it’s food, it sounds good,” she grumbled. “Let’s do it.”

  He led the way to the little restaurant, and thankfully the line wasn’t long. They were able to get their food quickly, and since the weather was unexpectedly sunny with only a light chill, they took their meal outside on the stone-paved patio.

  “Oh, my gosh,” Jenna mumbled through a mouthful of caprisi panini. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, lifting her face toward the sun. “This is amazing.”

  “Right?” he agreed. “I used to come here a lot. They have great coffee, too.”

  “Maybe we should come back in the morning,” she said, stuffing more bread into her mouth.

  Jacob took another bite and sat back in his chair, looking across the street at the twinkling lights and festive decor adorning so many of the outside apartment windows. He stared at the familiar building for a moment, and he suddenly recalled why he discovered that café in the first place. The honey mustard in his wrap turned acidic in his throat, and his stomach twisted as he forced it down.

  “You okay?” Jenna asked, appraising his blank face as he stared at the building.

  He turned back to her quickly. “Yeah, of course,” he fibbed, picking at the fries on his plate.

  She looked at him, then at the building across the street, then back to him. “You sure?”

  He sighed. “I just… remembered why I used to come here.”

  “Hm,” she muttered, taking a sip of her Coke. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with a girl, would it?”

  His eyes snapped up to meet hers.

  She shrugged. “There are only so many reasons for someone to mysteriously linger outside an old apartment building.”

  He turned back to his plate to hide his blush.

  “Were you guys, like… together?” she prodded.

  It was a loaded question, and he wasn’t sure how to answer.

  “No. Not really,” he said, and Jenna raised an eyebrow at the uncertainty. “I don’t know,” he shook his head, and if only to force the conversation in a different direction, added, “She worked for the police station.”

  “Ah,” Jenna muttered, popping a ketchup-coated fry in her mouth. Chewing thoughtfully for a moment, she asked, “So… what happened?”

  He huffed out a breath. Here it was. The subject of Sarah had been breached, and he was out of evasion tactics to avoid answering.

  “I got arrested,” he shrugged. “Senten
ced to Bellevue, and I never saw her again.”

  Remembering the grocery store incident, he added, “Well, actually, I did run into her once, a few months ago.”

  “Really?” Jenna perked up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know you yet,” he explained. Thinking back to that day, wallowing in self-pity at the farmhouse, coming home with an empty stomach to an even emptier locker and a mysterious woman, over-boiling spaghetti noodles and stirring watery, red sauce in a small pot.

  “Actually, come to think of it, it was the night I met you,” Jacob said.

  Jenna stared at him for a moment as she sifted through her memories. “Oh,” she declared in new understanding. “So, this is the engaged girl? The one who cheated on you? Or… didn’t cheat on you… or lead you on, or something?” she squinted, trying to remember their first conversation about Sarah.

  He chuckled once, taking a sip of his iced tea and glancing back at the building across the street. “That’d be the one.”

  “So, what do you wanna do?” she asked, leaning forward over the table. “Confront her? Beg for her back? Burn down the building? Because I’m up for all of the above,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

  He laughed again, shaking his head.

  He stared at the building. What did he want to do?

  He turned his gaze back to Jenna, watching her pop her last fry in her mouth and wash it down with a big gulp of soda, and he decided.

  “Let’s do something fun.”

  “Ugh, finally,” she rolled her eyes. “I’ve been waiting this whole trip for us to do something fun!”

  He smirked. “You done with that?” he nodded at her plate, littered with a few leftover scraps of her meal.

  “Yep,” she answered.

  “Cool,” he said, pushing out of his chair. “Come with me.”

  “This. Is. Amazing.”

  Jenna’s voice was nearly drowned out by the booming noise of the crowded room. An off-pitch rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock” flooded from the fuzzy speakers, performed by a group of inebriated young girls who looked barely legal enough to have made it through the doors.

  They had only just made it into the bar, and Jacob’s t-shirt was already clinging wetly to his back. The heat was cranked up, due to the expected weather of the day, but apparently no one had thought to turn it down when the clouds cleared and the sun made a surprise-appearance.

  The stench of alcohol and sweat assaulted his nostrils, and his ears rang, protesting the loud chatter of the room and the terrible singing.

  “Amazing” wasn’t exactly the word he would have used to describe it, but the look on her face was worth the mild discomfort.

  “Hey, why don’t you find a seat,” he nodded to the sparse selection of empty tables scattered about the room. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay,” she agreed as he headed toward the bar.

  He slipped his phone from his pocket, pulling up an internet search as he approached the bartender.

  A few minutes later, two whipped cream and cherry-topped shots in hand, he met Jenna at their table along the back wall of the bar. He sighed in relief at the choice, grateful she had bypassed the few tiny, round tables close to the stage and opted for a slightly less confining option.

  He slid onto the tall stool opposite her, and she raised her eyebrows at the drinks in his hand.

  “Are those…?” she smirked.

  “They are,” he said, sliding one toward her.

  She laughed. “Wait a second. You,” she pointing a finger at him, “went over to that bar, and asked that man for two blowjobs?”

  “Nope. I asked him for two shots of…,” he pulled out his phone again, scanning the ingredients, “amaretto and Irish cream, topped with whipped cream. And then he looked at me like I was an idiot and said ‘You mean a blowjob?’ and I said ‘yes,’ and now here we are,” he shrugged.

  She giggled. “Smooth,” she said, swiping a finger across the dollop of cream and popping it in her mouth. Grabbing her cherry, she said, “I think this was meant for you,” and dropped it next to his own.

  He was about to ask what she meant, but she interrupted his thoughts, saying, “Hey, wait, I thought you didn’t drink?”

  “Well… I mostly don’t drink because of my medication, which technically I’m not on right now,” he explained. “And my next parole meeting isn’t for another week, so…,” he shrugged. “I highly doubt one tiny, little shot is going to end in catastrophe.”

  “Famous last words,” she commented.

  He chuckled and raised his glass. “You said you wanted to have fun.”

  Her smile glistened in the neon light from the piece on the wall. “Cheers,” she said with a wink.

  She downed most of her shot in one swift gulp while he stared hesitantly at his for a moment before taking a quick swig.

  The alcohol burned in his throat and left an unpleasant aftertaste.

  “Huh,” he muttered, nodding his head as Jenna awaited his assessment of the drink. “That’s, um… I hate that.”

  She laughed hard at the disappointment on his face.

  “I don’t know what I was expecting, but… not that,” he cringed at the flavor still lingering on his tongue.

  “Well, you might need that liquid courage in a minute,” she bit her lip, swirling the leftovers in her glass and avoiding his gaze.

  His stomach tightened instantly. With slow deliberation, he asked, “What did you do?”

  The music on stage stopped and the audience applauded and cheered as she looked up at him from under her thick lashes, shrugging with a playful grin.

  “Give it up for Karen’s enthusiastic rendition of ‘Santa Baby.’”

  The crowd burst into another round of claps and shouts, mostly originating from Karen’s table of friends from the office, still donned with ties, and button-downs now sloppily hanging half-way out of pants and skirts as the night progressed.

  “Jenna,” Jacob reprimanded.

  “Oh, come on!” she bounced up and down in her seat. “The male part is really easy. You’ll be fine.”

  “Next up, we have Jenna and Jacob, singing the classically festive ‘Baby, it’s Cold Outside.’”

  “Jenna!” Jacob protested again, but it was drowned out by their welcoming applause.

  Leaping from her seat with a wide grin, she grabbed his hand, and he quickly downed the rest of his drink before she dragged him to the stage. His heart pounded in his chest as he stumbled up the steps behind her, the applause ringing in his ears even louder now.

  “Hellooo, New York City!” Jenna greeted into the microphone, earning a few more cheers. She chuckled to herself, turning back to Jacob. “I’ve always wanted to say that.”

  He was staring out at the crowd, face blank and heart racing.

  “Hey,” Jenna whispered, her hand clasping around his forearm, drawing his attention. “It’s just for fun, okay?”

  He swallowed hard. She gave his arm a gentle squeeze, and he drew in a breath, focusing on her face and letting everything else fade into the background.

  “We don’t have to do it,” she shrugged.

  The statement gave him an out, but the look in her eye betrayed her disappointment at the idea.

  He took another breath, gathering his courage. Putting on a smile, he said, “Let’s do it.”

  Her answering grin sparkled under the bright spotlight of the stage, and she turned back to the microphone, giving a nod to the full-bearded young man running the karaoke system.

  The beginning notes of the song rang out from the speakers, and Jacob watched as the lyrics he already knew by heart appeared on the monitor in front of them.

  Jenna began singing, and he missed his first cue, drawing a flood of warmth to his cheeks.

  She smoothly continued her part, placing a stable hand on his arm again. There was a comforting glint in her eyes, underneath the sultry tone of the song.

  A few lines later, he ignored t
he color-changing words on the screen, and focused instead on the pacing of the music, shutting out everything else.

  When he finally joined in, several people in the audience gave an encouraging “woo” at his participation in an attempt to calm his nerves, and to his surprise, it actually worked.

  Halfway through the song, whether due to the audience response or the “liquid courage” catching up to him, he had loosened up and sank into the spirit of the music.

  He cringed at the sound of his own voice over the speakers, but the harmonies Jenna laced into their shared parts managed to make even his ragged, off-key singing sound pleasant.

  With each of the male lines that flashed across the monitor, he leaned in closer to the lone standing microphone on the stage. The warmth of her closeness flooded across his chest, and she kept one hand gently on his arm throughout the song, a comforting sign of solidarity. He blushed through the words depicting her “delicious lips” and tried not to stare at them, glistening ruby-red and glossy under the spotlight.

  She caught his eye as the final lines approached, and the pierce of her gaze, mixed with their harmonic voices flowing smooth as silk, sent a jolt of electricity straight to his gut. For one brief moment, after the music stopped but before the clapping began, it was just the two of them. Everything else – the bar, the people, the city itself – had faded away, and all he could think about was the heat of her hand on his arm.

  But then the applause shattered the bubble around them, and they both turned to smile at the crowd. Jenna gave a delicate curtsy, holding out an invisible skirt as she bowed, and Jacob simply raised his hand in a wave before heading back down the steps.

  He started toward their table, but she slipped a hand around his and pulled him toward the door instead.

  Once they had weaved through the crowded bar and were back on the street, she said, “I figured you’d had enough of that place for now,” sliding her arm through his as they walked aimlessly.

  “Thanks,” he smiled, happy to be back in the now much cooler fresh air.