The Hearts We Burn

by Briana Cole

  “I want to make love to you.”

  I was surprised I moistened at the comment. Make love? Hell had I ever made love to anyone besides Jahmad? Leave it to him to make me feel like a shy virgin with a whisper and a touch.

  I felt his large arms circle underneath my legs and around my neck to hoist me into the air. I kept my eyes closed, felt myself being lowered to the sheets. The bed sank under his weight as he straddled me, and my breath caught as I felt all of his package rubbing against my leg. I braced, but he merely leaned forward and replaced his hands with his tongue. Thick, wet, and gentle as he slowly caressed my skin. I felt the pool of cream dampen my thighs and I moaned, unable to control the pleasure coursing through my body. “Kareem,” I whispered. This entire sensation was so foreign, I didn’t know what to expect. But damn, I was loving it.

  He sucked each breast tenderly, his tongue tracing the outline of my nipple before inserting it whole into his mouth. He didn’t move until he’d paid the same amount of attention to each breast and slowly began working his way down. I felt his tongue flicking over my sensitive skin and the sudden burst of the first burst of pleasure had me nearly screaming out loud. I felt his lips curve, heard him take a deep whiff as if he were savoring his favorite dessert.

  “Please.” My voice came out in a desperate whisper and I wasn’t sure what the hell I was begging for. More? Mercy? Gratitude? But I continued to moan, “please, please, please” like some sort of mantra as he began to send me climbing again.

  Then, he pulled away, gave me just a second to catch my breath as he put on the condom he grabbed from his pants pocket. He slid in, gentle and deep. A pinch of pain had me tightening but he worked me open until the elation overrode and I felt like I was in Heaven. I gasped at the thickness, my breath catching again as he slowly inched his way in, loosening me up until I swallowed him whole, the bunch of the sheets balled in my fists. I bucked and arched my back against him and when he started stroking like an expert masseuse, I knew it wouldn’t take too much longer. I felt my muscles clenching to catch the wave and I gripped his body, yanking him to me.

  “Yes,” he huffed in my ear as he quickened his pace. I heard mumbling, didn’t realize it was my own voice. I felt him swelling with the impending euphoria but I was already riding on the recesses of my own. I whimpered and my legs began to tremble as the flood ruptured free and sent me careening over the edge in a glorious stupor.

  We didn’t lie together for long before I remembered the timetable Leo had put me on. Shit, had it already been an hour? I jumped up, my body immediately chilling outside of the warmth of the sheets.

  “What’s wrong?” Kareem watched as I fumbled for the wedding dress.

  “I have to go,” I said. “Leo told me I needed to be back in an hour.”

  Kareem waited until I was fully dressed before he folded me into his arms and kissed me senseless. My legs turned to jelly. As much as it pained me, I pulled back and stepped out of his embrace.

  “We can’t keep doing this,” I whispered, not knowing who the hell I was trying to convince. “Leo . . .”

  Kareem licked his lips and I felt the heat rise between my thighs at the memory of just what he was doing with that mouth a moment ago.

  “You’re right,” he agreed.

  I turned around and struggled to the door on still shaky legs. That had been too easy. And I already knew we both had a feeling it wasn’t about to be that easy.

  Chapter 15

  Adria

  The satin sheets tangled around my bare legs as I turned over. Fresh tears dampened my pillow as I gazed over at the digital clock on the nightstand. 2:24 PM. For days, I had been in and out of consciousness, floating on auto-pilot like some post-apocalyptic zombie. I had called Keon too many times to count and had clogged up his voicemail and text messages with an abundance of pleas and apologies. Apparently, he hadn’t been running from me but towards something because he seemed well and content with not acknowledging me. Now here it was day four of his mysterious disappearance, and he hadn’t so much as called to make sure I was still alive. His apathy was what hurt the most when my heart was drowning in emotional turmoil. The least he could do was care.

  I dragged myself out of bed and began getting ready. It had been a few days since I’d been released, and I had promised myself I would make it over to see my mother-in-law.

  I had to admit, part of me put it off because I was nervous. I did not know what to expect from this visit. She had left a message talking about some kind of note from Texas, and I tried my best not to get my hopes up. I knew my mother-in-law had been in and out of her right mind given everything that had happened. Shit, she was not the only one. Keon had told me before that she was exhibiting early stages of dementia. Looking at her you couldn’t tell it, or maybe her being the only mother I really ever had, her mental deterioration was something I was not ready to accept. Still to satisfy my curiosity and to humor her, I promised I would make the trip.

  I had gone back and forth with whether to tell Keon about her call and had decided against it. It wasn’t like he was talking to me anyway, as evidenced by the lack of contact. Because it had been four days since I had been released from the hospital, a total of eight since I had last spoken with him when he stormed out after revealing his discovery, and yet here and still I had no idea where he was or who he was with (though I assumed it was Jahmad). He hadn’t even picked me up upon my release, which spoke volumes. Maybe that had really been the last straw. I had tried not to harp on how hurtful that was. Because if I let myself get back to that place I was liable not to come out alive this time. Those last few days in the mental health facility I had devoted to doing better. I knew I had to because I did not want to rely on that crutch of those prescriptions. I did not like that woman. I did not know that woman. And as much as it pained me to admit it, I was broken and needed to fix myself. It was my sunken grief and depression that had me backsliding in the first place.

  Something one of my counselors asked me during a session was enough to force a change. I remember I was sitting across from her desk, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, would my daughters still be proud of me if they were alive? I had sat there at a complete loss for words. The fact that I couldn’t answer that seemingly simple question scared the hell out of me. She then went on to assure me though there wasn’t anything I could do about the past; God had given me another chance, and thankfully, I still had a future.

  I took that to heart and had even started going to the facility’s church service. It was no Word of Truth Christian Center, but it did edify my spirit and remind me of what, or rather who, was important in my life. I imagined my father-in-law not being very happy with me, especially with how I was treating his son. But still, I prayed for forgiveness and opened my heart to receive. That was all I could do.

  I felt renewed and, though still sore from the grief and now my situation with Keon, I felt better than I had in months.

  I knocked on the door to Mrs. Davis’s unit and waited patiently for her to buzz me in. I was surprised when the door swung open and a nurse stood opposite me. I panicked, immediately pushing my way in.

  “Where’s my mother?”

  “It’s okay, she’s fine,” the woman said calmly. “We just had a little scare. You are?” She held out her hand and I shook it.

  “Adria. Where is Nancy, her nurse?”

  “Nancy had a family emergency and will be on extended medical leave. I’m Jackie.”

  “Why didn’t you call?”

  “We did. Several times actually to a Mr. Davis. Her son. We had no luck reaching him.”

  Join the club.

  “I’m sorry to have to ask, but may I see your ID please?” I nodded and pulled my wallet from my purse as Jackie swiped through some kind of hand-held device. Once she matched my ID with her records, she seemed satisfied.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Davis.”

  I craned my neck to look towards the bedroom. “Is she awake? May I see h
er?”

  “Yes, of course. Just please keep it short okay? She needs rest.”

  Jackie followed me to the room and I lowered my voice. “What did you say happened again?”

  “Just had a little fall,” she answered. “We’ve had the doctor come take a look but it’s just a few minor scrapes and cuts. She was complaining of a headache so we gave her a little medicine for the pain.”

  Ms. Davis lay on the full-sized bed, her eyes closed. She looked thinner but still had her vibrant melanin color and her breathing was steady so my panic subsided. She looked as if she had dozed off so I lifted my finger to my lips and indicated to Jackie I would just sit here with her for a while.

  “I’ll be out here,” Jackie said and left me alone.

  There was a small vanity against the wall, and I took a seat on the bench. For a moment, I just sat in silence and watched the First Lady, remembering how she used to be compared to now. Life really had a way of building you up and tearing you down that’s for sure. Once the pastor died, Ms. Davis was never the same and I couldn’t blame her. They had been together for over thirty years so it was as if a piece of her had died with him.

  “Where have you been?”

  The question startled me and I looked over to see Mama Davis still lying down but her eyes now open, looking pointedly at me. “Mama I thought you were sleep.”

  “I was just pretending so Jackie could leave,” Ms. Davis shifted to sit up. “That girl knows she can talk.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. At least she hadn’t completely lost herself. “Jackie said you fell. What were you doing?”

  She paused, her face furrowing in confusion. “To be honest I really don’t remember.”

  I smiled gently. “Well it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you didn’t hurt yourself.”

  “Where is that son of mine? Tell him he needs to come see me.”

  Keon and I both agreed we wouldn’t tell Mama what was happening between us, nor that I was in a mental health hospital. It was just easier not to worry her. But as much as Keon was avoiding me, I knew he wouldn’t NOT come see his mother. No way. He probably had been there on Tuesday for his usual visit. More than likely her lack of memory was just another consequence of her ailing condition.

  “Mama you called me,” I started getting to the reason for my visit. “Do you remember? It was last weekend.”

  Ms. Davis pursed her lips and I could tell she was thinking back. Slowly, she shook her head. “When did I call you, sweetie?”

  “Last weekend,” I repeated. “You left me a message mentioning something about a letter from Texas in Kimmy’s handwriting but you really didn’t elaborate too much.”

  Ms. Davis seemed suddenly overcome with emotion and she dropped her eyes. “I miss her. So much.”

  I moved from the bench to sit beside her on the bed, taking her hands in mine. “I know, Mama. I do too.”

  Jackie told me to keep the visit brief so I kissed her on the cheek and stood to go. Mama closed her eyes and relaxed into the pillows.

  “Don’t go sweetie,” she murmured.

  “I’ll be back,” I said. “I’m just going to run out for a bit, and I’ll check on you later.” She seemed satisfied with that and I headed to the door, dimming the light on my way out.

  Jackie was seated at the dining room table, pecking away on a laptop amidst folders and papers scattered around her. She looked up when I entered the kitchen.

  “She’s asleep,” I announced. “Just wanted to drop in and check on her.”

  “Aw that’s so sweet.” Jackie put her hand to her chest in some sort of dramatic gesture. “I swear it’s the children like you that just make my heart so happy. Do you know I’ve worked for this place for three years, and I have some patients who haven’t had not one visit this entire time?” She shook her head. “Absolutely, pathetic if you ask me.”

  I opened the refrigerator on a laugh. Mama did say the woman could talk.

  Jackie rambled on about something and I tuned her out as she took a stroll down memory lane. I took a glass down and began pouring some lemonade. As I stood at the counter taking leisurely sips with the occasional grunts of acknowledgment to appease Jackie, I noticed Mama’s opened mail fanned out in front of me. The envelope on top was what piqued my interest.

  It looked like it had been forwarded from her old address, but, more than that, the Dallas, Texas hastily scribbled in the upper right hand corner had me reaching for it. I flipped it over and removed the single sheet of paper inside. And nearly screamed out loud.

  I could recognize Kimmy’s handwriting anywhere. She had written many an essay for me, signed many a form for our Melanin Mystique business. She had always written in elaborate cursive that looked way too sloppy.

  I looked at the date. Exactly two weeks ago to the day.

  Unfolding the letter, I leaned on the counter and began reading.

  Family,

  I am hoping and praying this letter finds you. I’m taking a huge risk by even sending it so if and when you do read this, I hope I am still alive.

  First off, let me say I am sorry for everything. I know it may or may not matter now but it matters to me that you know my feelings.

  Jamal and I did not die in the fire. I have been kidnapped by Leo and Tyree and I’m somewhere in Dallas, Texas, though I’m sorry I can’t be sure where. I’m in some kind of mansion and I’m not allowed to speak to anyone, nor am I allowed to go outside so though I wish I had more information to help you, I’m sorry I don’t. We have new identities. I’m going by the name Saida Owusu now. Leo’s father is also here so if you find him, I’m not too far away. His name is Obi Owusu and his women are Amora, Natasha, and Yana. Please just send help. I don’t trust the police here because Leo has a lot of connections so please be careful. But just know that for now I am alive, my baby and I are well but we need you to come find us. I love you with all my heart and soul.

  —Kimera (Kimmy) Davis

  Chapter 16

  Kimera

  The conversation was low, so low it was nearly inaudible. I had to take a moment and pause just to be sure I was hearing real voices and not just some craziness in my head. Hell, with my confinement in this house, I wouldn’t have been surprised at the latter. At this point, even a trip to the damned mailbox would have been considered a luxury.

  Still, I paused near the stairs and craned my neck to make out the words that were coming out in hushed whispers from upstairs.

  The first one was obviously Tyree. No matter how the man tried to disguise it, his voice I could pick out in a crowd because it always brought about this sickening feeling of disgust whether he knew it or not.

  “We had a deal,” he said, at least that’s what it sounded like. Now my interest was piqued because maybe this was something Kareem and I could use. Some kind of sneaky deal between him and Leo had to be worth something.

  “Don’t fuck this up,” Tyree went on. “Don’t forget I know some shit about you too that could get your ass killed. And I know that’s not what you want.”

  A pause, and I held my breath waiting for Leo’s response. My chest felt like it was going to explode with anxiousness. Come on. Fuck what up? Say something Leo, I was silently praying.

  “Nah.” One word. One word and that’s all it took. Not Leo. I damn near fell out. No, in that little half-assed response, I recognized him as if he had been talking right to me. Kareem.

  “Then you need to get your shit together,” Tyree went on. “It seems like you’re playing, but we had a deal. When are y’all going to have this little fling?”

  “Soon,” was Kareem’s response and that was all I needed to hear. I turned and nearly ran back to my room.

  My soul felt shattered. I had trusted this man. Here I was thinking that he was actually trying to help me. His little sob story had been so believable, and I felt like an idiot. To think all this time, he was really working with Tyree? So all that stuff he told me about his past and his stake in this plan, was
nothing but a lie? Just to get me in bed with him? Why?

  I didn’t know, but hell, it’s not like it really mattered anyway. What mattered was there was absolutely no one I could trust and the reality was enough to have tears springing to my eyes. How could I have been so stupid? Now back to square one.

  I shut my door and climbed back in the bed. It was the middle of the day but it was overcast outside which shed a dark shadow over my room. One would think it was almost nighttime anyway and it wasn’t like I had anywhere to go. My days had become so routine the hours seemed to blend together to the point I didn’t know where one ended and the other began.

  I hadn’t realized that I had dozed off until a knock startled me awake. I sat up, my eyes on the door. I didn’t bother responding. Whoever my little unexpected visitor was would end up just coming in anyway.

  Sure enough, the door opened, and Kareem poked his head in. I scowled. “Yeah?”

  He seemed a bit taken aback by my icy tone but still, he stepped in the room and closed the door behind him. “Hey I was just checking on you,” he said.

  “I don’t need checking on.”

  He frowned. “What’s up? You okay?”

  “Never better.” It was a lie of course, saturated with sarcasm, but it wasn’t like I was trying to hide my attitude. Not after what I had just heard. Hell, I was surprised he was bold enough to even come to see me right after his little conversation with Tyree. The gesture showed his ignorance or lack of care. I don’t know which hurt more.

  Kareem walked in further and stood in the middle of the room. He shoved his hands in his pockets and seemed to be waiting for something.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m trying to rest,” I said, hoping that would prompt him to leave. It didn’t.

  “For real,” he said. “Stop with the shit. What is supposed to be your problem? Did something happen?”