Koalaland or The Great Koala Novel - Volume I: The Making of a Kingdom

by David Bolton

  ***

  Bright and early the following morning, a lone koala could be heard knocking on the King’s tree.

  “Sire – Prestigious Koala King – I have a message for you.”

  Sticky, who still had one foot in Dreamland, was wondering why somebody was bothering him at this hour. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was the King.

  “Uh, yes, sorry, I was asleep.”

  “Oh, no Your Majesty, it is I who am sorry in that case,” Queezy apologized, “but Judge Grandaddy told me to tell you there is a council meeting at noon.”

  “Oh, yes, fine. Tell him I will be there well ahead of time.”

  “Of course, Sire. Have a nice day!” said Queezy as he walked away.

  All ten of the councilmembers arrived at the meeting punctually. Or perhaps we should say all nine councilmembers, and the King.

  “With His Highness’s permission, I will state the order of business for today,” Grandaddy began, looking over to the King.

  “Why, of course, Grandaddy,” the new monarch assented.

  “First of all, I would like to move that there shall henceforth be only nine councilmembers, since the King will naturally hold a position superior to that of any member. Furthermore, I believe this new rule should be duly noted in the Koalaville Book of Laws. Any objections?”

  Everyone agreed to this proposal, though Kashy presented a detail to be considered.

  “About the Book of Laws,” he began, “since we shall soon be moving to the other grove, obviously the Koalaville Book of Laws will no longer be completely valid.”

  “What? You lawyers always want to complicate things!” old Chosay retorted. “Law is law. Why can’t we use the same laws in Eucalyptus Grove that we have been using here for decades?”

  “Well,” Kashy began to explain, “officially, it would not be proper – and perhaps not even legal – to apply laws designated as belonging to Koalaville, once we are living in Eucalyptus Grove. At the very least, therefore, we must officially change the name to the ‘Eucalyptus Grove Book of Laws’.”

  “Sounds simple enough,” Handy remarked. “Let’s just change the name, then.”

  “Not so fast,” lawyer Gruffy joined in. “It’s not as simple as that. Certain laws in our present book pertain to the specific situation of Koalaville. For example, Article 14, Section 3, which expressly forbids allowing privately owned emus to… just a second, I want to be sure I get it straight,” he said, opening the Book of Laws to the relevant page, “...that forbids privately owned emus to wander more than one thousand yards over the field to the east of the grove.”

  “So?” Handy asked.

  “So, the field to the east of Eucalyptus Grove, that is, the field between there and here, is not more than five hundred yards wide, so obviously such a law would make no sense.”

  “Or for instance,” Kashy added, “the law that forbids any koala to take up residence in Eucalyptus Grove. That law made sense when it didn’t belong to us, but now it does, and unless we change it, that very law would prevent any of us from moving over there, even though we own the grove.”

  Sticky listened in silence, hoping he was displaying a royal demeanor. In truth, he found all of this somewhat boring. He could now fully understand why it is said that the devil is in the details.

  “You’ve both made your points,” Judge Grandaddy said. “What do you suggest, Sire?”

  “Well, it would seem to me that these fine koalas have thought about the matter at length. Thus, I would like to request that they both collaborate in studying the existing laws, and that they re-write any passages which need to be changed, modified, deleted, or whatever. Further, that they then present the new version – one that is adequate for regulating legal matters in our new home – to Judge Grandaddy for his perusal, and to the other councilmembers, as well as to myself. We shall all then study the modifications, and adopt them by Council vote if we see fit.”

  Most of those present thought this was a fine idea, maybe because it meant they wouldn’t have to deal with any further legalistic details that day. Only Gruffy and Kashy seemed somewhat less delighted, since they realized that their suggestions meant that they would now be in for several weeks of rather intense study, for the Koalaville Book of Laws had, over the years, grown to a rather formidable size.

  “There’s another matter we must attend to,” Chosay then spoke. “Chashibu, Grandaddy and I were talking about it yesterday. The issue of how we decide which koalas get which trees when we move to Eucalyptus Grove.”

  “Doubtlessly a difficult subject,” Tecky said. “This could be the source of a lot of tension. After all, everybody will be scrambling to get the very best trees, and it will be impossible for everybody to be satisfied.”

  “Hmmm, how can we settle this matter peacefully?” Claire asked. “Some koalas will be content with what they are given, but others may well feel they got a bad deal, and envy can easily lead to fighting.”

  After a few minutes of expressing their concerns, Sticky, or rather, the Prestigious Koala King, who had been silent during this part of the discussion, suddenly spoke up.

  “I wish to offer a suggestion,” he announced.

  “Of course, Your Majesty,” Grandaddy said.

  “I think the problem isn’t as serious as we have been fearing. Why don’t we simply assign a tree to each koala that corresponds to the geographical position of the tree he or she already has in Koalaville?”

  “I don’t believe I follow you, Sire…” Handy said.

  “It’s simple,” the King continued. “I will give you an example. Grandaddy, for instance, lives in one of the southernmost trees in the western part of Koalaville. Therefore, when we move to Eucalyptus Grove, he should have a tree in the southwest there as well. Tecky, your tree is in the north-central part of our grove, on the eastern edge, I believe. Thus, in Eucalyptus Grove, you would get a tree in the same geographical location there: in the easternmost part of the upper central sector.”

  “Hmm,” Chosay pondered, “that sounds very good to me.”

  “Indeed,” Grandaddy added, “I would say it’s a very wise decision.”

  “I do believe the number of trees over there is greater than the number we have here,” Gruffy said, “which means that there will be a wider choice: each koala can get the best tree in the corresponding sector.”

  “Yes, of course,” Handy agreed. “Koalaville is smaller than Eucalyptus Grove, which also has a higher density of trees; there are certainly a lot more of them over there. More trees, more choice.”

  “I was afraid this issue was going to take us all day to settle, but thanks to our King’s astuteness, we may already have our solution,” Chashibu remarked.

  “I believe both Gruffy as well as I myself agree,” Kashy spoke up. “Nonetheless, perhaps we could refine our plan a bit.”

  “Please, Kashy,” the King requested, “say what you think.”

  “Well, the first thing we need is a sort of census. We should send out some koalas to take note of exactly where everybody lives here, and also of the approximate geographical position of their trees. Then, we should commission a map of Eucalyptus Grove, to determine the corresponding positions of the trees there, so that we can assign each and every koala a tree in that grove that corresponds most precisely to the one he has here.”

  “Of course,” Grandaddy said, “that makes perfect sense. We should find a number of koalas to whom we can give these tasks, and get them working on it right away, for they will need many days to complete the work.”

  “Naturally,” opined the King. “It’s settled: between ten to fifteen koalas will be recruited, today if possible. Some will visit all the trees here, and make note of the koalas’ names, and also of the geographical positions of the trees in which they live. Others will visit Eucalyptus Grove daily and prepare a map of the entire grove, making sure they include all the trees there.”

  “But we haven’t yet received word from Mr. Johnson
that the grove has been purchased and signed over to us!” Chosay said.

  “No matter,” replied the King. “We should know that within a day or two, and the koalas who go to Eucalyptus Grove will only be there during the day. I see no harm in that.”

  All agreed it was a good plan, yet Handy had something else that they had to consider.

  “Not every koala can make a map. That takes drawing skill. May I suggest that Nory be assigned to that job? As a carpenter, he is used to making detailed technical drawings.”

  “Oh, yes,” Doctor Koala added, “and Nory is the father of Maki, who is also skilled at drawing. They can work on the project together. I’m sure that they will be able to produce an excellent map of our new home.”

  No-one could deny that this was a splendid idea. The pressing business having been tended to, and important decisions having been made, the King and his councilmembers poured themselves some warm, refreshing eucalyptus tea, made with fresh spring water. Nibbling on some leaves, and occasionally popping a berry or two into their mouths, they enjoyed an appetizing lunch while conversing about lighter matters.

  An honorable Commission

  “Maki! Climb down! I have some news!” Nory called to his daughter. He was slightly past middle age, his fur graying, yet he was in surprisingly good physical condition, perhaps because his job as a carpenter kept him very active.

  “What is it, father?” Maki asked while making her way down the tree.

  “I was just talking to old Chosay. He has asked us to accept the job of making a detailed map of Eucalyptus Grove!”

  “But how can we do that? We don’t even really know Eucalyptus Grove,” Maki replied.

  “Which is why they want us to go over there these next few days and study it carefully, tree by tree, making drawings, and even taking careful notes about the size and apparent quality of each individual tree.”

  “Why, that sounds like an enormous job. Do you really think we’re qualified?” Maki was unsure of herself.

  “Well, I couldn’t refuse. It was the Council itself that made the request through Chosay. Besides, you should never forget: where there’s a will, there’s a way. Always trust in your abilities, and they will be up to just about any task,” Nory encouraged her. “I should also mention that they are giving something in return. They are going to let us get wood from the trees in the forest north of Eucalyptus Grove.”

  “Oh, that would be wonderful!” Maki exclaimed. “There are some first-rate trees up there, yet we’ve never been allowed to make use of them.”

  “Now that Eucalyptus Grove is being purchased by our community, that part of the forest will also belong to the koalas,” Nory explained.

  “Father, we should make a list of all the things we will need. Pencils, enough paper, measuring tools…”

  “Sure. Let’s do that right now, and start out as soon as we can. It’s still early, but I figure we might as well get as much done today as we can.”

  Maki and her father went back to their tree, climbed up, and continued to chat about the commission they had received.

  “Why, this is quite an honor!” Maki exclaimed. “Imagine, the Grove Council selecting the two of us for such an important duty! I suppose we should feel proud, father, but in truth, I feel rather awed by the faith they are placing in us.”

  “I know what you mean, dear,” Nory agreed. “Awed, and honored. Yet let’s not feel any pride before we finish doing the work, and then only if it turns out well.”

  There had never been any doubt but that Maki Koala would follow in her father’s footsteps. When she was a mere koala baby, she used to sit silently for hours at the base of their tree, watching her father intently as he cut the wood, shaped it, then assembled it into chairs, tables, boxes, whatever his customers had ordered. She often felt the urge to participate and help her father, but of course, her parents thought it too risky to let a koala baby handle the dangerous tools. For this reason, Nory always kept them locked in a wooden, waterproof toolbox at the foot of the tree. Often, when the weather was hot, baby Maki would jump onto her mother Fooey’s back, and Fooey would then climb down to the base of the tree where it was cooler. Maki would crawl over to the toolbox and try to open it, only to find that it was locked. “Ma, ma…” she would moan, looking up to her mother, “key, key!”

  “Oh, no, Koala Baby! Your father has the key. There’s nothing in that box for babies.”

  But Maki would insist, whining, almost crying: “Ma, ma, key..key…. Ma, key… Ma… key!”

  That’s why, when Maki had grown from a koala baby into a young toddler, her parents thought that the name “Maki” was the one which should be bestowed upon her at her naming ceremony. And “Maki Koala” had a special ring to it, one that they both found delightful.

  Just before Maki reached adulthood, her mother died, a victim of wet tail, the dreaded, all-too often deadly, disease. Her father had sent Maki up to the forest with many other young koalas whose parents did not want them to catch the fatal illness. When Maki returned from the woods a few weeks later, she found that an atmosphere of great sadness was weighing heavily upon the grove, for almost every family had suffered a loss. Arriving at her family’s tree, she looked for her father, but he wasn’t there. Almost in panic, she asked around until someone told her where he was: a bit further south, on the western edge of the grove, in the koalas’ graveyard, performing a heart-rending task. She found Nory there with a shovel in his hands, smoothing the dirt on top of a new grave. Her father looked up at her when she got there. His face looked much older than it had only a few weeks before, and his eyes were red from weeping. Maki, too, began to cry, and her father walked over, knelt down, and hugged her warmly, though neither of them said a word. From then on, Maki and Nory would be living alone, for Fooey, her mother, had gone on to a better world.

  When still a child, her father had taught her the basics of carpentry, and let her help him sand the wood to make a smooth finish. This work was monotonous and tiresome, but Nory figured that if she got fed up with it, it would be a sign that she should not go into carpentry. Yet Maki never tired of it. She sat for long stretches of time, carefully sanding down the pieces until the finish was so smooth that it didn’t even feel like wood when you ran your finger over it, but almost like satin. Even at that age, Maki displayed great patience, and was an obvious perfectionist: two qualities essential for a good carpenter koala. By late childhood, she was helping Nory with practically all stages of furniture construction, except of course, the carrying of heavy pieces of wood. Now, as a young adult koala, she had become her father’s full partner, and the two of them worked many an hour making what was considered by all to be furniture of the very highest quality.

  Of course, not all koalas felt a need for tables, chairs, or other pieces of furniture. Yet the number who did was steadily growing, perhaps because many wanted to “keep up with the Joneses”, or maybe because they had sat at a table when visiting a neighbour, and felt that it was a luxury that they too should have. More popular than such pieces, however, were boxes.

  Maki and Nory fashioned boxes of different sizes, and for a variety of uses. Almost every koala wanted to have at least one little box, mainly to store food such as leaves, berries, nuts or mushrooms. Nonetheless, now that more koalas were learning to read and write, there was a growing demand for boxes in which they could store pens, pencils and paper, not to mention hand-copied pages of the manuscripts in the grove’s collection, which was a small, yet valuable treasure-trove of information about koala history, the geography of Koalaland, practical information on foods that were safe to eat, which animals were to be considered dangerous, and the like.

  Though only about two-thirds of the adult koalas in Koalaville could read at the moment, the grove’s elders were sure that within a generation almost all of them would join the ranks of the literate. Thus, it was not surprising that Maki and her father had a long waiting list of customers who wanted boxes for their writing utensils a
nd manuscripts.

  Since Koalaville had no monetary system, barter was all the vogue. For a small wooden waterproof box, for example, a koala would give Nory a large basket of berries that would supplement his family’s meals for at least a week. A big box would be more costly, and for such a one, payment might consist of a month’s supply of walnuts, without the shells, of course. Other koalas might offer services in return for their box. For instance, they would offer to chop wood in the forest and carry it back to Nory’s tree for him. Hatchy, who spent his time collecting honey from bee hives in the forest, paid Nory and Maki with jars of honey in exchange for the boxes he needed to store his jars in. Doctor Koala, of course, needed several pieces of furniture: a table, a few chairs, and a big cabinet in which to keep his medicinal plants, herbs and roots. It had taken Maki and Nory several months to complete all the pieces he required. In return, Doctor Koala had promised Nory’s family free medical care for many years.

  All in all, the barter system worked very efficiently for the koalas. It would only be after they moved to Eucalyptus Grove that their expanding needs – or what they perceived as needs – would require that they adopt a monetary system.

  But we are getting ahead of ourselves...

  Nory and Maki had placed everything they required into two bags with shoulder straps. Then, each one picking up a bag, they began the walk over to Eucalyptus Grove. They first went north through Koalaville, since they planned to keep close to the edge of the forest while crossing the field: they knew only too well that large hawks would be able to sight them easily if they crossed the middle of the field, and that there would be no place to hide if they were attacked. Walking at the edge of the forest meant that in case of danger, they could quickly jump into some bushes, or scurry around to the back of a tree, or perhaps hide behind a rock.

  “This will be fun, father!” Maki remarked happily. I do love to draw, and there will be so much to draw once we get started!”

  “No doubt, Maki. Let’s just make sure we get all the distances right. The map we make will be the basis for determining the trees that the koalas will inhabit, once we make the move over here.”

  “Why, that is important!” Maki exclaimed. “If we make a single mistake, some poor koala could end up living in the wrong tree. Imagine!”

  “…which is why we will be careful not to make even the slightest error,” Nory replied.

  “Of course, father. We will design a map that we will be proud of. Who knows? Koalas might be referring to our map for years to come!”

  “That is a definite possibility,” Nory responded with a smile.

  After a while, they arrived at the northeastern entrance of Eucalyptus Grove. This grove was darker than Koalaville, due to the higher density of trees, but it was truly lovely, and had an almost magical atmosphere. “Father, isn’t it wonderful? And to think, we will soon be living here!”

  “Yes, it is really beautiful. But we have a lot to do. Let’s start by measuring the outer dimensions,” he suggested, reaching into his shoulder bag and pulling out a large ball of string. “I’ll do the measuring, and you take note of what I say.”

  They then began their work, and spent the entire day measuring, jotting down results, and taking descriptive notes about one tree after another. It was plain that they would need many days to complete their task, but they didn’t mind, for they knew that this would be one of the greatest contributions they had ever made to koala society.

  Among the socially challenged: Bumpy and his pals

  (The first day of spring)

  “Hey you two, wake up!” Bumpy called to his friends as he climbed up to the branch where Humpy and Dumpy were sleeping in their tree, located in the north-central part of Koalaville.

  “Huh? Oooh, it’s you,” Humpy moaned, opening his eyes. “Why are you bothering us at this ungodly hour?”

  “Gee, Bumpy, huh-huh-huh,” Dumpy mumbled with his usual slow, low-voiced drawl and giggle, “what are you doin’ up so early?”

  “I’ll have you know that I’ve been lookin’ out for our best interests. You’d think you two sloths would show a little gratitude,” Bumpy acted insulted.

  “Okay, let’s have it. What have you been doing?” Humpy asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

  “Well, I just happen to have a plan that you’re gonna love,” Bumpy began to explain. “I heard yesterday that a number of koalas were gonna be doin’ a census, writin’ down the names of everybody here in Koalaville, and takin’ note of the trees they live in.”

  “You woke us up to tell us that? What’s the big deal, anyway?” Humpy was a bit peeved.

  “Just shut up and listen,” Bumpy went on. “I was walkin’ through the center of the grove just now, on the lookout for one of those census koalas, and I found one: Queezy.”

  “Uuuh, he’s Wheezy’s brother, isn’t he?” Dumpy asked.

  “Right,” Bumpy replied, “and I managed to get some valuable information out of that dumb koala. He told me that the new trees we’ll be inhabitin’ in Eucalyptus Grove are gonna correspond to the locations of the trees we have here. If our tree here is, for example, 145 yards from the eastern border, and 290 yards north of the southern tip, then that will be more or less the location of the new tree we get over there.”

  “Gee, Bumpy, huh uh huh, I don’t think I know what you’re talkin’ about,” Dumpy muttered.

  “Never mind. Let me make it a little easier for you. If somebody had a first-rate tree here, he will get a first-rate tree there, but if his tree here isn’t too great, the one he gets there won’t be too good, either.”

  “Just our bad luck!” Humpy said with disgust. “Our tree here is one of the worst in this part of the grove, so I guess we’re gonna get stuck with a lousy one over in Eucalyptus Grove, too.”

  “Oh, not so fast,” Bumpy flashed a sly smile. “We would get stuck with a lousy tree if I weren’t so smart.”

  “Whad’ya mean, Bumpy?” Dumpy asked.

  “Well, that Queezy knows we live up here in the north, just west of center, but…” Bumpy inserted a short pause for dramatic effect, “he doesn’t know just what tree we live in.”

  “So?” Humpy asked, seemingly bored.

  “So, stupid, his ignorance is gonna be our gain!” Bumpy retorted.

  “Hey, pal, if you don’t get to the point soon, I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

  “Just keep listenin’, fool!” Bumpy said angrily. “Believe me, you’ll thank me later. Here’s what I did: I said to him, ‘Well Queezy, I guess you really have to work hard to find out exactly where each and every koala lives – walkin’ around all day, askin’ names, writin’ down locations of trees…’ Then he said: ‘Yeah, it’s really tiring.’ So I said, ‘My friend, I’m gonna make your job a little easier. Lemme tell ya what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go back to our tree, make a little sign with our names on it – Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy – then I’ll stick it to the trunk of the tree. That way, when you stop by, you won’t have to bother to ask us a lot of questions, or go around lookin’ for us if we’re not home. You’ll know it’s our tree, and you’ll only have to write down its position, and our names.’ Then he said, ‘Wow, Bumpy, that’s really nice of you! If every koala did that, my job would be a lot easier.’ Hah hah hah!”

  “So, you’re doin’ that Queezy a favor. Why should we jump for joy? He’s no friend of ours!” Humpy said with a touch of criticism.

  “Oh, I have to explain everything to you two numbskulls. Don’t you get it? All we have to do now is make a little sign with our names on it, then instead of tacking it to our tree, we find a nearby tree that’s uninhabited, yet a lot better than ours, and we stick it on that tree instead!”

  Humpy and Dumpy were silent for a moment as they pondered the idea.

  “Oh, yeah,” said Humpy when he realized what Bumpy was getting at, “that way, Queezy will think we have a really good tree, and so we’ll get a really good tree in the same location over in Eucalyptus Grove!”
>
  “Exactly! And I know just the tree where we should hang up the sign,” Bumpy continued, pointing towards the east. “That one, two trees down, the one we always wanted.”

  “Oh, the one that Grandaddy didn’t want us to have, since he said so many koalas wanted it, that they might get mad if we got it, huh uh huh,” Dumpy remembered.

  “Right! The best quality tree in this sector, and nobody lives in it. Well, when Queezy comes around this afternoon and sees the sign we’re gonna make, he’ll think we live in it!”

  “Bumpy, I’m afraid I owe you an apology,” Humpy admitted. “That plan is really clever!”

  “I knew you’d come around,” Bumpy replied in a tone of confident haughtiness. “Now alls we gotta do is make a sign with our names on it, and go over and tack it up to the trunk of that tree.”

  “Gee, that sounds easy enough, huh uh huh. Lemme get somethin’ to write with,” Dumpy said as he climbed up to the branch above, fetched a piece of paper and a pencil from a small box they kept there, and then came back down to the bough where his friends were sitting.

  “Okay, let’s get started,” Bumpy suggested, taking a piece of paper and placing it on a small board he had placed on his lap. “First, Bumpy…” he began to write.

  “Hey, wait a minute,” Humpy said when he saw what his friend had scribbled, “you wrote ‘Bumpy’ with a ‘P’.”

  “Yeah, sure. My name has a ‘P’,” Bumpy defended himself.

  “But not at the beginning. You wrote ‘Pumbe’, not ‘Bumpy’. The ‘B’ should be at the beginning,” Humpy corrected him.

  “Oh yeah, right,” Bumpy stammered. “The light here is pretty bad, too much shade. No wonder I got those letters mixed up.” He turned the paper over and wrote his name again, this time carefully naming each letter immediately before writing it. “B…U…M…P…E.”

  “That should be ‘Y’, not ‘E’,” Humpy once again pointed out a mistake.

  “Oooh, I’ll never understand why an ‘E’ sound should be the ‘Y’ letter. It just ain’t natural, but okay,” Bumpy said angrily, then added, with a hint of insulted arrogance while he crossed out the ‘E’ and added a ‘Y’, “Let’s just hope you’re right!”

  Okay, now let me write mine,” Humpy took the paper and wrote his name below Bumpy’s. “Now you, Dumpy.”

  “Uh, gee Humpy, maybe you could write mine for me…” Dumpy suggested shyly; the challenged koala had never quite been able to learn how to form the letters, and much less to spell.

  “Oh yeah, sure,” Humpy said as he wrote Dumpy’s name. “There we are!”

  “Okay, now we need a tack,” Bumpy said.

  “Oh, I brought one down from the other branch,” Dumpy told them. “Huh uh huh, where did it go?”

  They all carefully searched the limb, but could not find it anywhere.

  “No matter, we’ll find another way to hang up the sign. Let’s go,” Humpy said, and they all climbed down the tree. Upon reaching the ground, Humpy had an idea. “Wait a minute. We should add something to the sign. Let’s write ‘live here’ after our names. ‘Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy live here’, just so it’s really clear.”

  “Good thinkin’!” Bumpy agreed. “Let’s have a seat here on the ground, and you can add it to the sign.” He sat down on the grass next to the tree, but immediately jumped up with a loud cry. “Ooooowww!” Reaching behind him, he pulled something out of his backside.

  “Huh uh, gee Bumpy, I think you found that tack, huh uh huh,” Dumpy chuckled.