Koalaland or The Great Koala Novel - Volume I: The Making of a Kingdom

by David Bolton

  ***

  About an hour later, the three saw Queezy heading towards the beautiful tree on which they had tacked their sign. Not wanting to have to answer any questions, they hid behind another tree, peeking out to see what he would do. Queezy approached the tree, saw the sign, wrote something down in a notebook, then looked around in all directions, no doubt estimating the tree’s approximate position in that sector of the grove. He then walked eastwards, stopping at other trees to talk to the koalas who lived in them.

  “Wow! It looks like it worked,” Humpy exclaimed. “He just wrote everything down, and didn’t suspect a thing!”

  “Hehehe, just the way I planned it,” Bumpy grinned with satisfaction.

  “Gee, Bumpy, I guess we’re gonna have a really nice tree when we move over to Eucalyptus Grove, huh uh huh,” Dumpy smiled.

  “Yeah, we no doubt will! And till then, the two of you can think about how you’re gonna express your gratitude.”

  “Oh, I see what you’re gettin’ at,” Humpy replied. “Okay, how about if we head over to Koalatown to celebrate. I’ve got a bag of walnuts that we can trade, so the eucalyptus liquor is on me!”

  “My friend, that’s the best suggestion I’ve heard all day!” Bumpy responded contentedly. “Let’s get those walnuts of yours and head over there now, so that we can make the most of the day, not to mention the night, for I think this might be a good time to look up those three lovely females we met there a few weeks ago, remember?”

  “Gee, Bumpy, huh uh huh, how could we forget them?” Dumpy chuckled as the three walked away, feeling satisfied with the clever trick they had managed to pull off.

  Whoever said that scrills are stupid?

  Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy decided to take the forest route over to Koalatown. The woods, which ran east to west, connecting the northern sections of all three groves in Southern Koalaland, were dense and dark, but there was a path near its southern edge which had been there for a long as anyone could remember.

  The route was enchantingly scenic: huge tree branches, extending out from both sides of the path, formed a sort of canopy above it that was, during the months when the leaves were fully grown, so thick that one could walk along the trail when it was raining and hardly get wet. There were only about a hundred yards separating the path from the lower edge of the forest, yet one would never know it, for in addition to the trees, there were so many bushes that it was not possible to look through to the fields beyond, which separated Koalaville from Eucalyptus Grove on the one side, and Eucalyptus Grove from Koalatown on the other.

  There were seldom any dangerous animals in the forest. True, an occasional boar from Boar Forest, west of Koalatown, might wander over and get lost, and no koala enjoyed meeting a boar. This was not because the wild swine were their enemies, but was simply due to the fact that the boars were a coarse breed and easily excitable, so they might run amok and hurt somebody, even though they had no evil intentions.

  There had been rumors that several koalas had seen a mountain lion in the forest, but these were unsubstantiated, and nobody had ever been attacked by one. The only animals that could be seen regularly during a stroll through the woods were rabbits, birds, an occasional deer, and scrills – squirrels, to us. The language of the koalas, though practically the same as ours, nonetheless had certain words that differed slightly, and “scrills” was one of them. The scrills were not afraid of the koalas, and the koalas felt a certain affinity for them, perhaps because the scrills, too, were tree-dwellers. For a koala, you see, living in a tree was not only the most natural thing in the world, but also the most practical, since it made eating leaves all the easier. The scrills were not seen as competition, for they were not interested in leaves, but only in nuts.

  The koalas themselves had added nuts to their diet some decades earlier, but usually collected them from the ground beneath the trees when no scrills were around, for they would never have thought of depriving the harmless little creatures of their main foodstuff.

  “Hey Bumpy, why don’t we sit down here to rest a bit,” Humpy suggested.

  “Yeah, okay. We can have a seat right here by this tree,” he replied.

  The three sat down, leaning their backs against the trunk of the tree. Humpy placed his basket of walnuts, which was covered with a thin white cloth to keep the bugs off, next to him on the ground.

  “Gee, Bumpy, look at that cute little guy, huh uh huh,” Dumpy noticed, pointing to a wide-eyed brown scrill that was sitting motionless off to their left.

  “Oh, he is cute, isn’t he?” Humpy smiled. “I’ll give him a walnut. He’ll like that.”

  He pulled back the cover, reached into the basket, and took out two pieces of walnut, then held out his hand towards the scrill, offering them to him.

  The scrill darted forward, and then stopped to size up the three koalas, who were staring at him as well. Then he dashed forward, snatched the two pieces of walnut, ran back a few yards, sat down, and quickly gobbled them up.

  “He is a cute one!” Bumpy was delighted. “And he sure liked those walnuts!”

  The scrill scurried up a tree and disappeared. Our three friends decided that this would be a good place to take a little nap, so without further ado, they leaned their heads back against the tree-trunk, stretched out their legs, and soon dozed off.

  “Uh, Bumpy, Humpy, wake up!” Dumpy shook his friends’ shoulders.

  “Huh, what is it?” Bumpy muttered.

  “Gee Bumpy, we’d better get goin’, we must’ve been sleepin’ for an hour, huh uh huh,” Dumpy drawled.

  “Oh, yeah. Humpy, you awake?”

  “Yeah, I am… aaaaaooooh,” he yawned. “I guess we’d better get on over to Koalatown and buy that liquor before dark. Then it’s party time!”

  “Right, let’s go!” Bumpy said as he stood up and stretched.

  Humpy picked up the basket of walnuts, and the three started down the path westwards.

  They got to Koalatown soon thereafter, entering the grove in the northeast, where the forest path ended.

  “So, if I recall, we can trade for the liquor at the tree of… uh, what was his name again?” Bumpy couldn’t recollect.

  “Tama, I believe,” Humpy answered, “but I’m not sure I remember where he lives. Somewhere in the center, maybe a little towards the west.”

  “We’ll just walk towards the center of the grove, and ask some koalas along the way.”

  After walking for a few minutes, Dumpy commented, “Gee, Koalatown sure isn’t as pretty as Koalaville, is it? Huh uh huh.”

  “Naw, it sure isn’t,” Bumpy replied, “and it’s a real far cry from Eucalyptus Grove. Hah! These koalas here are gonna turn green with envy when they see us livin’ over in that high-class grove!”

  “Gee Bumpy, that’s funny, green koalas! Huh uh huh!” Dumpy laughed.

  “Ooh, I think I see one of them coming now,” Humpy said, not seeming too pleased. “A koala of the green persuasion, I mean. It’s that mangy Moldy!”

  “Oh no, his friends Chuppy and Guppy are with him,” Bumpy noted. “Quick, let’s hide behind this tree!” They did just that, and waited until the three undesirables had passed.

  “That was close! The last time we saw them over here we ended up in a fight,” Bumpy recalled.

  “Huh uh huh, yeah, Bumpy, that was some fight, too. One of ’em bit me in the ear, and I didn’t even see which one it was,” Dumpy remembered, rubbing the ear in question.

  “Yeah, that gang is bad news,” Humpy added. “Not that I mind a decent brawl, but those low-down koalas just don’t fight fair.”

  “Yeah, but I did give that Chuppy a good punch in the snoot,” Bumpy laughed, “and that was fun!”

  “Maybe so, but it was that punch you gave him that started the whole fight, if my memory doesn’t fail me,” Humpy said with a frown.

  “Well, whad’ya expect? He said my mother eats rotten leaves!” Bumpy defended himself.

  “Well, your mother has been
dead for years, so he wouldn’t know, anyway,” Humpy remarked, “but I see your point. He deserved it.”

  “Yeah! Why, I oughta run after him and give him another good punch!” Bumpy snarled.

  “No you won’t! We don’t need any trouble here. We wanna have some fun. So let’s go get that liquor, and then go find those girls!” Humpy insisted.

  “Yeah, you’re right. But if he ever gives me any trouble again, why, I’ll...”

  “Yeah, I’m sure you will. But let’s go!” Humpy said, and the three continued walking towards the center of the grove.

  “Excuse us, good koala,” Humpy greeted someone who was walking down Koalatown’s main path towards them.

  “Yes? How can I help you?” the stranger asked.

  “We would like to know how to get to the tree of a certain Tama,” Humpy inquired.

  “Oh, need some eucalyptus liquor, huh?”

  “You guessed it! Bumpy’s the name, this here is Humpy, and that’s Dumpy. We’re from Koalaville.”

  “My name’s Swinky. I thought you weren’t from these parts. I know a lot of koalas here in Koalatown, but I’ve never seen you before.”

  “We only come over here every once in a while,” Humpy explained. “What part of the grove are you from?”

  “South central, a bit to the west. I work for Mayor Koala, so it’s convenient to live near his tree.”

  “For Mayor Koala, huh?” Bumpy replied, impressed. “Sounds like a good job you have.”

  “Well, it would be a good job, if he paid decently. I only get one basket of nuts a month, and two of berries, but whenever I ask for a raise, he says it isn’t in the budget.” Swinky complained.

  “Uh, gee, just what is your work?” Dumpy asked.

  “I’m a translator. I can speak – besides our language, of course – primitive koala, boar, and a little bit of the emu tongue as well.”

  “Considering some of the citizens we’ve seen here in Koalatown, your knowledge of the primitive koala language no doubt comes in handy!” Bumpy joked.

  “No, I mean really primitive. I can talk to those koalas who aren’t as developed as we are. Like the snow koalas up there on Koala Mountain,” Swinky explained, pointing to the mountain just north of Koalatown.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t want to meet one of them,” Humpy shuddered. “I saw a couple of them from a distance last winter. They had come down from the mountain and were roaming around the forest, looking for something to eat. I was nearby, collecting berries. Why, they’re big, ugly, and all that long, shaggy white fur – that really gave me the creeps! So as soon as I saw ’em, I turned around and ran as fast as I could.”

  “Well, they usually don’t mean any harm, but I understand why you were afraid. I don’t enjoy dealing with them, but Mayor Koala says he needs somebody to communicate with them when they come down in the winter. After all, the first place they come is Koalatown, since it’s the closest.”

  “I’m just glad they aren’t here now,” Bumpy said. “I trust them about as far as I can throw ’em.”

  “Gee, Bumpy, you mean you used to throw snow koalas?” Dumpy asked innocently.

  “No, of course not!” Bumpy replied impatiently.

  “Then why can’t you trust ’em?” Dumpy wanted to know.

  “Oh, it was just an expression. I mean since I can’t throw ’em, I can’t trust ’em.”

  “Well, you probably couldn’t throw me too far either. Does that mean you don’t trust me?” Dumpy, looking sad now, inquired.

  “Yeah, of course I trust you, even if I can’t throw you… Oh, this is ridiculous! I only wanted to say that I don’t like snow koalas, ’cause I’m afraid they might pick me up and throw me!”

  “Uuh, would that mean that the snow koalas trust you, then?” Dumpy asked.

  “Ooh!” Bumpy grunted in frustration. “Let’s change the subject! Swinky, can you tell us where Tama lives?”

  “Yeah, sure. Go down this path where I just came from, till you get to the central clearing. Then cross it, taking the path that leads south, and after about a hundred yards you’ll see a little path to your right. Take that, and follow it till you come to Tama’s place. You can’t miss it, since there’s a little shack there. That’s where Tama keeps the liquor locked up. He’ll be there now himself, no doubt, since he finally got the parts to repair the lock today. Somebody broke into the shack last week and tried to steal a bunch of bottles of liquor.”

  “Wow!” Humpy exclaimed. “Did they get away with it?”

  “Nope. Duffy, our police chief, and Mabo, one of his deputies, caught them in the act. Mayor Koala ordered them to be chained to a tree, pending their trial,” Swinky informed them.

  “That’s quite a story,” Bumpy mused. “Good they were caught. Otherwise, there might not be any liquor left for us.”

  “Don’t worry about that. Tama always has a big supply on hand.”

  “Excellent! Then we’ll go over there right now and get our share,” Humpy said, and all three wished Swinky a good day as they walked away. They found Tama’s shack shortly thereafter, next to an especially large and leafy tree. Sure enough, he himself was sitting on a chair just to the left of its door.

  “Hello, good sir,” Bumpy greeted Tama as the three approached him. “We are interested in gettin’ a few bottles of your choice eucalyptus liquor.”

  “Hmm... I don’t believe I’ve met you fellows before. Do you even know what eucalyptus liquor is?” Tama asked them.

  “We certainly do!” Humpy answered. It’s just that until now, we always got our supply from someone else here in Koalatown, till we found out he was taking advantage of us, and charging too much. That’s why we thought that this time, we’d come right to the source.”

  “Well, how many bottles do you want, and what do you have to offer in return?” Tama inquired.

  “I’m glad you asked,” said Humpy as he placed the large basket in front of Tama’s chair. “A whole basket filled with walnuts, ready to eat, without the shells. Would that buy us three bottles?”

  “Oh, I think that would be acceptable,” Tama replied, pulling off the cloth and admiring the walnuts. “That’s quite a few of them. Must have taken a long time to crack open the shells.”

  “You bet it did!” Humpy responded. “I needed a couple of days to do it.”

  “Wait. Let me go inside and get your liquor.” Tama opened the door of the little shack and stepped inside. Bumpy noticed that the wood around the lock was broken off, so Swinky’s story of the attempted theft must have been true.

  Stepping outside carrying three bottles, Tama placed them on the ground. “There you are. These are from a batch I made almost a year ago. It tastes better when it ages a bit, you know.”

  “That’s very kind of you, sir. We sure do appreciate it!” Humpy said, as he, Bumpy and Dumpy each picked up one of the bottles and held it up towards the bright sky, so as to better be able to admire the fine green color of the booze inside.

  “We’ll be off now. And thank you very much!” Bumpy called to Tama as the three began to depart.

  Tama, who had begun to take the walnuts out of the basket and place them into a large jar, glanced up. “And I thank you! Bye now! Hey, wait a minute,” his friendly voice had quite suddenly changed to one of suspicion. “What’s this I see? Shells!”

  “Huh?” Humpy grunted as the three turned around again and walked back to where he was sitting. “There isn’t a shell in that basket!”

  Tama, who had already removed the top layer of walnuts from the basket, disagreed vehemently. “Not on the top, there aren’t. But what are these!”

  Removing the walnuts at the top had revealed that beneath them, the basket contained nothing but shells – and empty shells at that.

  “Impossible!” Humpy cried out. “I packed them into that basket myself. I even checked them this morning before we left Koalaville, and there wasn’t a shell in that basket!”

  “Well, there are now,” said Tama angrily, �
��and you were obviously trying to cheat me. I’m going to go get Police Chief Duffy. We don’t like thieves around here!”

  “Just a minute, let’s all calm down,” Bumpy advised. “There must be some rational explanation for this. Look Tama, Humpy wouldn’t try to cheat you, since if he did, you’d never sell us anything again. Somebody else must have taken out the nuts, and put those shells in the bottom.”

  “Likely story,” Tama replied. “Do you expect me to believe that?”

  “It’d be nice if you would. Now let’s think for a minute. Where were we today?” Bumpy asked his two friends.

  “We left Koalaville this morning, and I know there weren’t any shells in that basket then,” Humpy thought aloud. “Then we walked through the forest, and came here. We didn’t go any place else. It’s a complete mystery.”

  “Uh, gee Bumpy, we did take that long nap…” Dumpy remembered.

  “So what? Good edible nut meat doesn’t turn into shells just because you’re takin’ a nap!” Bumpy snapped at him.

  “But gee, uh, what about that scrill?” Dumpy reminded them of the little creature to whom Humpy had given a couple of walnuts. At that, Bumpy and Humpy looked very pensive.

  “Why, you don’t think that that scrill…?” Humpy asked with a rather confounded look on his face.

  “Oh, no! How could we be so dumb? That scrill saw that the basket was filled with nuts, all shelled and ready to eat. The temptation must have been too great for him,” Bumpy theorized.

  “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would he leave some nuts in the basket, and fill the bottom part with shells?” Humpy couldn’t figure it out.

  “Uh, gee, I guess so that we wouldn’t notice that he had stolen ’em,” Dumpy suggested.

  “Oh, yeah! That was a clever little devil, it was,” Bumpy frowned angrily. “Who would have thought that a scrill could outsmart us like that?”

  Tama, who had been following their conversation closely, spoke up. “I may be wrong, but I get the impression that you three may be innocent after all.”

  “Of course we are! Look, Tama, we weren’t tryin’ to cheat you, we were cheated ourselves. Hey, do you think that your police chief – Duffy, I think you said his name is – might go back to the forest with us and arrest that thievin’ scrill?”

  “Oh, hardly. He’s never arrested a scrill before, and besides, how can you blame a scrill for taking nuts he finds in the forest? It’s what they’ve done for ages.”

  “Well, those nuts were in our basket! Oh, I guess it’s no use,” Bumpy groaned in frustration. “I’m really sorry about this, Tama, and I hope there aren’t any hard feelings,” he said as he and his friends put the bottles down on the ground. Humpy went to pick up the basket.

  “Wait a minute now. There are some nuts in this basket, and they look delicious. How about if I take these, in return for one bottle? Would that be acceptable?” Tama offered.

  “Wow, would it! Sure!” Humpy exclaimed. “It’s really nice of you to trust us like this, after what happened…”

  “I suppose your story is true. It sounds too ridiculous to be something you made up. Here’s your bottle. And the next time you’re in the forest, you’d better not let any scrills get the better of you!” Tama laughed.

  “Yeah, you’re right there,” Bumpy replied. “Maybe I’ll look for that little critter when we go back through the forest tomorrow. I’d like to teach him a lesson...”

  “Not much chance of that,” Tama said. “Scrills aren’t as dumb as they seem, as you three found out. The one that stole those nuts will make sure you don’t find him, and the nuts are probably already stored away in the hollow of an old tree somewhere.”

  “I guess you’re right, and like you said, how can we expect a scrill to resist a bunch of nuts?” Humpy added. “No use cryin’ over spilt milk. We’ll just be more careful next time. Well, thanks again, Tama, and it was a pleasure doing business with you!”

  “Sure. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you again soon. Enjoy your stay in Koalatown. By the way, are you going to the dance tonight?”

  “Uuh, dance? Tonight? Here in the grove?” Dumpy asked.

  “Yep. The beginning of the Spring Celebration. It’ll be quite an affair. Everybody will be there,” Tama explained.

  “Why, we had no idea. A little bit of luck after all! There’s nothin’ like a good celebration to lift the spirits, I say,” Bumpy lifted up the bottle of eucalyptus liquor, “...if you know what I mean.”

  “Hey, come to think of it, maybe there is a way you can earn yourselves two more bottles. After all, you did want three,” Tama said.

  “Whad’ya mean? We don’t have jobs.” Humpy didn’t know what Tama was getting at.

  “Well, I need some help. I’ve gotta move some tables up to the clearing in the center of the grove, where the party will be held. I’m planning to make a lot of sales tonight at that celebration, but I’ll need to set up the tables, carry up a bunch of bottles, and even more cups. If you three help me get everything into that wagon there, and then unload it and set it all up when we get to the clearing, I’ll give you two bottles of liquor.”

  “Gee, Bumpy, that sounds great, huh uh huh,” Dumpy smiled.

  “It sure does!” Humpy rejoiced. “Not that we are addicted to work, but I suppose a few hours of decent labor won’t kill us. Then, with all that liquor, we’ll enjoy the party all the more!”

  “And besides,” Bumpy added, “you’ve been decent with us, and Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy Koala never forget those who treat them well. It’s a deal. We’ll be glad to help you!”

  “Great!” Tama responded. “Then let’s get started. There are two big tables behind the shack that have got to be moved over to the clearing. Follow me.”

  They then set to work, and were soon busy loading everything Tama would need for preparing the refreshment stands into the wagon. Despite the loss of the nuts, Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy felt that the day was turning out just fine.

  Bashful

  Meanwhile, over in Eucalyptus Grove, Maki Koala was taking some final notes on a tree located near the eastern edge. Her father would be there soon. He had been working on the western side that afternoon. Maki wasn’t alone. She and her father had brought a helper with them today, an old friend of Maki’s, Bashful Koala. He and Maki were about the same age, and had known each other ever since they were koala babies.

  Very shy by nature, as his name implied, Bashful didn’t have many friends, since he found just about any kind of social activity extremely uncomfortable. Yet Maki’s gentle, calm nature made her a pleasure to be around, even for someone like Bashful. He really only had two good friends besides Maki, and they were not koalas at all. They were parakeets, a blue male, and a yellow female, who were with him whenever they weren’t flying around.

  As a matter of fact, they usually sat perched on his shoulders, the blue one on his right, the yellow one on his left, which was one more reason for some of the unkinder koalas in Koalaville to make fun of him. Bashful had gotten used to this teasing, and treated the parakeets with such affection that they had become true friends of his. Bashful had even learned their language, and was no doubt the only koala in Koalaville who spoke parakeet.

  Not a very useful skill, some would say, but it certainly enriched the koala’s life, for he was able to have long conversations with the little birds, and learn all about the customs, thoughts, and feelings of the parakeet species. Bashful always had a good supply of seeds in one of the pockets of his brown overalls, so that he could feed them whenever they were hungry.

  “This has been such a wonderful day, Maki,” Bashful said. “I had so much fun helping you map out the trees, and describe them, too. Why, I wonder what tree I’ll end up with? Not that I’m picky, mind you. They’re all so lovely here!”

  “Oh, I’m sure you will have a fine tree, Bashful, and the best thing is, we’ll be living close to each other, just like we are now in Koalaville,” Maki remarked.

  “I
only hope my parakeets get used to the change in grove. They told me this morning that they aren’t so sure about this move, since they like being in Koalaville so much.”

  “Oh, I have an idea. Tell them that when they move over here with us, I’ll make them a birdhouse. You can hang it from your branch, and they will have their own little home,” Maki offered. She had been thinking about giving Bashful a birdhouse for his upcoming birthday, and now she thought it would be a good occasion to mention it.

  “Why, that would be wonderful!” Bashful was delighted. “Let me tell them about it.”

  He then began to make some high-pitched chirping noises, and if Maki had not seen that it was he who was making them, she would have thought it was one of the parakeets.

  The parakeets then chirped something in reply.

  “What did they say?” Maki asked.

  “Oh, they are really happy now! They said they always wanted a house, since it would be so much cozier than just a nest, especially in winter,” Bashful translated.

  “Fine! As soon as we move over here, I’ll get to work on it. I should have it done in a few days at most.”

  “Thank you so much, Maki, and thank you from my parakeets, too. Oh, here comes your father.”

  “Are you two ready to head back to Koalaville?” Nory asked them.

  “Yes, father, we are. We took notes on quite a few trees today. We covered all the ones in this sector,” Maki replied.

  “Excellent! Then let’s head home. We can make ourselves a delicious meal. Bashful, would you like to eat with us this evening?”

  “Oh, well, yes, I guess so,” he replied, shyly looking down at the ground as he spoke. “Thank you kindly for the offer, sir.”

  “Don’t mention it. You’ve done your share of work today, and we sure can use all the help we can get, there are so many trees here,” Nory said. They walked northeastward towards the edge of the grove, then out into the field at its upper end, right next to the forest. After getting back to Koalaville, they all went to Maki’s family’s tree, where all three of them participated in preparing a delectable dinner, consisting of fresh leaves with a bit of salt, almonds, and wild blueberries.

  After supper they had eucalyptus tea while Maki told her father about all the trees she had catalogued that day. Bashful didn’t say much, since he felt a bit inhibited around Maki’s father, though Nory was very kind to him. The younger koala’s natural shyness simply made it difficult to talk a lot in a group, even a small one. He did smile often when he was with them, despite his timidity. They, for their part, did their best to make him feel at home.

  Preparing for the Party

  Over in Koalatown, Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy had finally finished setting everything up for Tama. They had moved two large tables to the clearing, along with several chairs, and a number of crates of eucalyptus liquor. Tama then appeared, and was pleased with what he saw.

  “I see you’ve got things all ready. Looks like you’ve done a good job.”

  “Thanks,” Bumpy replied as he turned to greet him. “Ouch, my back! I must have pulled something when I was carrying those crates. Ooooh, it really hurts!”

  “Oh, no!” Tama looked worried. “Maybe I should call a doctor.”

  “Oh, that can wait till we go back to Koalaville tomorrow,” Bumpy answered. “I wouldn’t trust anybody but our Doctor Koala anyway. He’s the best around.”

  “Yes, I know him myself. He comes over here to Koalatown every couple of weeks to help treat the more serious cases we have.”

  “Oooh, the pain! I guess I should take a rest before the party. Maybe a swig of liquor would help,” said Bumpy.

  “Oh, yes, the liquor,” Tama remembered, and began to open a crate. “Here are the two bottles you have earned. Oh, and Bumpy, here’s an extra one for you. As much as you’ve strained your back, you certainly deserve it!”

  “Why, thank you kindly, Tama. I’m sure this will help dull the pain. I’ll drink a bit, and then take a short nap before the celebration. I should be well by then.”

  “There are a few empty trees just north of here,” Tama suggested, pointing out the way, “You should be able to sleep just fine there.”

  “Well, thanks again. I guess we’ll be off then. See you tonight, Tama!” Bumpy replied.

  As they walked away, Dumpy was concerned for his friend. “Uuh, gee Bumpy, that’s a shame about your back. Maybe you won’t be able to go to the party.”

  “Sure I will. No problem,” Bumpy seemed unconcerned.

  “But if the pain gets worse?” Humpy asked.

  “What pain? My back is fine!” Bumpy laughed.

  “Huh?” both Humpy and Dumpy grunted.

  “Don’t you see? I wanted to make him sympathetic, just to see if he’d cough up a little extra liquor, and it worked. Now, between the bottle we bought, and the three he gave us, we’ve got four bottles!”

  “Hey, that was pretty clever!” Humpy complimented him. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

  “Huh uh huh, gee Bumpy, that was a really good trick. Imagine, if your back really did hurt, he might have given you two extra bottles instead of just one!” Dumpy remarked, as his two friends looked at him, a bit perplexed.

  “Before we take that nap, let’s go a bit farther north, and see if we can find those girls,” Humpy suggested. They walked for a while, and when they got to the northernmost section of central Koalatown, they did in fact see someone they knew.

  “Look, there’s Meppy!” Humpy pointed.

  Meppy was sitting next to a tree, apparently sewing something. She was easy to spot, even at a distance, for she was one of the first females in Koalatown to adopt the newest fad: she dyed her fur four different colors. The upper left part of her body had purple fur, the right part was pink, her ankles, which showed just below the cuffs of her beige overalls, were yellow, and some of the fur on the top of her head was green. Though some of the older koalas in Koalatown criticized this new fashion, making biting and somewhat politically incorrect remarks about the trouble to which females would go to satisfy their incurable natural vanity, the younger males saw no reason to protest, for they found the multi-color look rather attractive.

  “Look at that fur of hers!” Humpy raved. “She’s a living rainbow! One hot babe, no doubt about it. Let’s go talk to her, and see if she can round up some of her beautiful friends for tonight.”

  “Heh hmm,” Bumpy cleared his throat as they approached her, trying to catch her attention. Meppy looked up, and was delighted to see them.

  “Oh! Why, I wasn’t expecting to see you three here! It’s been at least a month since you were here last, hasn’t it?” she asked.

  “Yes, we’ve been engaged in important business back in Koalaville, and haven’t had much time for travel,” Humpy lied. The truth was, they had been to Koalatown at least twice in the last month, but had been cavorting with other females, something Humpy preferred not to tell Meppy.

  “Oh, I guess you are pretty important koalas over in your grove, aren’t you?”

  “Well, I don’t like to brag,” Bumpy feigned modesty, “but just the other day, our Judge Grandaddy said that he had never seen our likes for as long as he can remember – and he’s one of the oldest koalas in the grove, you know.”

  “My, that is impressive!” Meppy replied. “And it’s a coincidence that we’ve met today. Why, just last evening I was saying to my friend Milly, ‘Milly’, I said, ‘I wonder when Blumpy, Gumpy and Dumpy will show up again?’ and she said…”

  “Heh hmm… that’s Bumpy and Humpy,” Bumpy corrected her.

  “Oh, right Dumpy, I mean...”

  “No, I’m Bumpy, not Dumpy, and these two are Humpy and Dumpy.”

  “Oh, but I thought you just said they were Bumpy and Humpy?” Meppy looked confused.

  “No, I mean we’re not Blumpy and Gumpy. I’m Bumpy, this is Humpy, and he’s Dumpy,” he explained, pointing to each of them as he spoke.

  “Oh, didn’t Blump
y and Gumpy want to come along with you?” Meppy asked.

  “I don’t believe I know any koalas by that name,” Bumpy answered, offended. “I guess you just got our names messed up a bit.”

  “Oh, I do that all the time!” Meppy laughed. “But then, what’s in a name? Especially where three handsome koalas such as yourselves are concerned,” she smiled coyly.

  “Yeah, who cares about names anyway?” Bumpy, whose pride had been hurt by her not remembering his name, suddenly seemed quite content.

  “Uh, gee, Meppy, what are you sewin’ there?” Dumpy asked her.

  “Oh, this is a new pair of overalls that I’m going to wear to the party tonight. It’s a little big for me around the waist, so I’m taking it in.”

  “Oh, of course, I suppose it’s hard to find just the right fit for a figure as delightfully slender as your own,” Bumpy complimented her.

  “Hee hee,” she tittered, “you’re such a gentlekoala! You really know how to make a girl feel good!”

  “Meppy, speaking of that party tonight, we heard that it’s the big Spring Celebration,” Humpy said, “and we were wondering whether you and two of your friends might like to accompany us to the dance.”

  “Oh, I’d love to, but I can’t,” she said with a slightly sad smile. “My friends Milly, Silly and I have already made a date with three other koalas.”

  “Oh?” Humpy tried to hide his disappointment.

  “Yes, we’re going with Chuppy, Guppy and Moldy. They asked us last week.”

  “Chuppy, Guppy and Moldy!” Bumpy blurted out. “Why would three fine girls such as yourselves wanna be seen with a trio of mangy creatures like them? They are beneath your dignity, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

  “Oh, that’s so sweet of you! But we really wanted to go to the dance, and they were the only ones to ask us, and we thought…”

  “What!” Humpy exclaimed. “Nobody else asked you? I never knew there were so many blind koalas here in Koalatown. Must be some kind of strange epidemic.”

  “Oh, you’re so charming!” Meppy blushed, though her fur hid her rosy cheeks.

  “Well, we’d be the last to try to make you break your dates. That wouldn’t be decent, I suppose. But we will say that if you did come with us instead of them, we could guarantee that you’d enjoy yourselves a lot more,” Bumpy promised.

  “Well,” Meppy pondered, “I guess I could talk to Silly and Milly, and see what they think. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d rather go out with you. The truth is, I would, too!”

  “Why, we appreciate your honesty, Meppy,” Humpy said, “and we’ll certainly do our best to prove worthy of your confidence.”

  “Oh, you could turn a girl’s head with that dandy talk!” Meppy giggled. “You really are koalas of the world, aren’t you?”

  “Well, we do get around, I suppose you could say,” Bumpy answered. “Now, how about if you go talk to your friends, then get back to us. We’ll be takin’ a little nap in that tree over there, but don’t hesitate to wake us up to give us the news.”

  “Okay, I’ll do just that. I should be back in an hour or so,” Meppy said, collecting her sewing supplies and putting them into her pocket. Then, picking up the pair of overalls she was altering and standing up: “I’ll see you fellows later. Bye!”

  “Bye, Meppy. See you in an hour!” Humpy called, as the three of them waved.

  “Wow, we’ve got it made!” Bumpy rejoiced. “Her friends are no doubt going to prefer us to those three slobs!”

  “Huh uh huh, gee Bumpy, ya think so?” Dumpy asked.

  “I know so. After all, she said we were handsome, didn’t she? And she also said that we are ‘koalas of the world’. No doubt about it, she really likes us, and I’m sure her friends do, too!”

  “Are you sure that the Milly and Silly she mentioned are the same girls we were with last month?” Humpy tried to remember.

  “I’m not sure, but no matter. We’ll impress them, too, even if we’ve never met ’em before.”

  “Huh uh, I remember Silly,” Dumpy recalled. “She called me ‘cute’ when we were here last month, huh uh huh.”

  “Then I guess they are the same ones,” Humpy figured. “Well, let’s go get that nap before she gets back. My friends, I do believe we’re gonna have one fine evening!”

  “Yes, indeed,” Bumpy agreed. “Tonight will be somethin’ we’ll remember for a long time to come.” The three then walked over to the vacant tree and climbed up. Each one selecting a sturdy limb, they made themselves comfortable, and had soon fallen fast asleep.