Koalaland or The Great Koala Novel - Volume I: The Making of a Kingdom

by David Bolton

  ***

  “Leaves and Circuses”, or The Downsides of Democracy

  “Rolly, I can’t believe another year has gone by. Imagine, spring is here once again!” Mayor Koala commented to his friend and co-leader of Koalatown, Judge Rolly.

  Mayor Koala was the elected leader of the grove, and had been in power for some years now. In the twilight of middle age, with a few streaks of white in his otherwise dark gray fur, he nonetheless seemed to have great energy, especially where staying in power and gaining any sort of advantage was concerned.

 

  When seeing him seated at his desk, one might have thought that the Mayor was a rather tall koala, for his torso was large and a bit stout, due to his love of good food. Yet when he stood up, he was only of average height, his legs being rather short in proportion to the rest of his body. A natural extravert, the Mayor had a marked jovial disposition, though he was uncomfortably prone to fits of worry. This combination of traits often led to mood swings, his enthusiasm suddenly becoming extinguished by a bout of pessimism, only to exuberantly soar back up again when Rolly helped him to see things from a different angle.

  Judge Rolly was plainly older, the white fur on his body being almost as abundant as the gray. He had a small pair of spectacles he used for reading, which gave him a somewhat bookish appearance. Smaller than the Mayor, and rather thin, the Judge had more than a touch of the philosopher in him, since he was both analytical and pensive by nature. This did not, however, squelch his basic sense of practicality, and he, like the Mayor, was very much able to discern, with his clear, penetrating mind, what was most beneficial to them in just about any situation.

  The two were sitting on chairs that were on the floor that had been built resting on two sturdy branches in one of the larger trees in south-central Koalatown, a sort of foundation for a tree house that had progressed no farther than its base. A roof-like, waterproof awning, with little side flaps, could be opened above them when the weather was bad. It was big enough to cover the part of the platform where they had their furniture. Someday, they would of course have walls and a real roof built upon their work space, that they now simply referred to as their “platform”, and that served them not only as an office, but also as a rather comfortable area on which to enjoy an impromptu nap whenever they felt the need.

  Each was now at his desk, Mayor Koala’s just next to the tree-trunk, Judge Rolly’s, which was merely a simple table, a bit off to the left-center of the platform. Rolly, being a judge, was Koalatown’s equivalent of Judge Grandaddy, though he wasn’t as old.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. Seems like the older you get, the faster time flies,” Rolly answered, putting down his feather pen, clasping his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair, causing its front legs to rise off the floor a bit, as he looked up at the leaves that were growing on the branches above him.

  “And for us, you know what spring means. The great celebration – or should I say the great chaos – and it should be under way in a few hours,” Mayor Koala remarked with a sigh.

  “Well, you’re the one who always insists that the party be held,” Rolly blamed his friend. “We could have just not organized it this year.”

  “Oh, Rolly, you may be a good judge, but you’d make a lousy politician. These koalas would have a fit if they missed out on their spring celebration. They’ve come to expect it, to see it as their right. We’d be swamped with complaints if we canceled it.”

  “Right. And you would be in danger of losing the next election,” Rolly replied.

  Mayor Koala chortled, “Rolly, I never could fool you! You’re right, of course, no doubt about it. I owe my great popularity to the ‘great’ events I organize here. Give these koalas leaves and circuses, so to speak, and they won’t forget you when election time rolls around. It’s always worked for me in the past, and I have no intention of losing an election in the future. This year, though, I did think it was time we kept things a bit more under control.”

  “A bit more? After that fiasco last year at the Spring Celebration, I’d say we should get things a lot more under control.”

  “Yes, yes, that huge brawl that broke out back then, I know,” Mayor Koala reminisced. “That was complete pandemonium. Twenty-six koalas injured, if I recall. A wonder none of them were killed. Let’s see…” he paused as he looked for a paper on his desk, “...here is the list from last year. Two broken arms, a broken foot, two concussions; several had at least one tooth knocked out, bruises and cuts of all sorts, three were bitten, one in the nose…”

  “Ouch!” Rolly winced. “That must have really hurt!”

  “Well, the koala who was bitten was so drunk that he might not even have felt it till the next day,” the Mayor snickered. “Oh, then there were numerous cases of upset stomach, vomiting…”

  “Okay, I’ve heard enough. It’s really disgusting. Do you honestly think we should have given the permit to Tama when he invented that eucalyptus liquor four years ago? I mean, we could have denied it to him, and he wouldn’t have been able to start selling the stuff. Would’ve kept things a lot more civilized around here,” Rolly speculated.

  “Are you kidding? Before he got the permit, he had already given out free samples of that booze. There was no law against that, and once the koalas tried it, they were clamoring for it. If I had refused to give him the permit, they would’ve voted me out of office, and he would have sold it on the black market, anyway.”

  “Oh, and I thought your granting him the permit had something to do with Tama’s promise to deliver you a monthly supply of nuts and berries, and liquor as well, for as long as you’re in office,” Rolly knew the Mayor well.

  “As if you didn’t accept your share of the goods, too!” Mayor Koala guffawed in response.

  “Yeah, well, I guess it was hard to refuse,” Rolly smiled, “but then, how were we to know that things could get out of hand?”

  “Oh Rolly, let’s stop browbeating ourselves. Things do get unbearably wild when there’s a big party, but that’s only twice a year, at the spring and summer celebrations.”

  “Not to mention New Year’s,” Rolly added.

  “Oh yeah, that too.”

  “And any other occasion we can find to stage a good party,” Rolly continued.

  “Okay, okay, let’s say five or six times a year. But ever since we’ve appointed three policekoalas, who in turn can appoint deputies, the situation only rarely goes beyond what we can handle,” Mayor Koala pointed out.

  “Well, let’s just hope tonight isn’t one of those occasions,” Rolly responded.

  “Rolly, you worry more than my old great aunt Maudy did, may the Koala Moon comfort her soul. I’ve invited Duffy over – he should be here any minute, as a matter of fact – and he’s going to tell us how he and the other policekoalas are going to manage things this evening.”

  “That is one point in our favor, I must say,” Rolly mused. “Duffy is one fine koala, perfect as a police chief. Big and strong as he is, he knows how to intimidate those lowlifes over in the southwest.”

  “...and he isn’t above knocking a few heads together, whenever appropriate, to uphold the public order,” Mayor Koala smiled smugly.

  “Oh, yeah, about that kind of stuff,” Rolly picked up a paper from his table, “I’ve got a list of complaints here from some koalas who have accused him of brutality. I suppose we should look into this.”

  “Of course. Who are the koalas who filed the complaints?” Mayor Koala inquired.

  “Let’s see,” Rolly studied the list. “Chuppy, Guppy, Moldy, and one of their friends,” Rolly answered, as the smile on his face broke into a laugh.

  “That mangy Chuppy and his gang!” the Mayor jeered. “If anybody deserves to be roughed up a bit, it’s them. Case closed! Remind me to commend Duffy on the good job he’s doing.”

  “Yeah, and I think I’ll tell him to give that Guppy a punch or two for me. The last time we pulled him in for disorderly conduct, he cal
led me an old fool!” Rolly recalled.

  “Well, he might have a point there,” Mayor Koala joked, “but we can’t have his kind going around and insulting the authorities, can we?”

  “Not as long as we are the authorities!” Rolly laughed. “I let Guppy off back then, just to get rid of him, but the next time, he’s in for trouble.”

  “And you see, that’s where Duffy comes in. After all, how else should such riffraff be punished? We can’t fine them, since they don’t have anything,” said the Mayor.

  “Oh so true. And remember that time we made three of them do community service, building that path up in the north of the grove?” Judge Rolly asked.

  “I do indeed. In a single week, they managed to get themselves into no less than five fights with the inhabitants there. Koalas were begging us to make them go back to the southwest.”

  “Yes, ours is a daunting task,” Rolly remarked, “and rascals like them don’t make it any easier. Oh, I believe I see Duffy coming now.”

  Soon Duffy was knocking on the trunk of their tree. “Mayor Koala?”

  “Yes, Duffy, climb right up,” the Mayor greeted him. “How are the preparations coming along?”

  “Just fine, sir,” Duffy replied respectfully. Duffy was a rather large koala, and of powerful build, but his most distinctive features were his reddish fur and his freckled face. The freckles were, of course, not visible, being under his fur; nonetheless, everyone in the grove knew they were there, though no one had ever actually seen them. Rather peculiar, to be sure. “I’ve had a new idea this year, and I think it will help us to keeps things relatively civilized at the celebration.”

  “Do tell!” Rolly spoke up. “What is it you’ve got planned?”

  “Well, sir, the problem we had last year was that even though we three policekoalas had deputized five more koalas, it didn’t do much good. Those who wanted to fight just did it in places where there weren’t any of us around, and in a crowd that large, it was impossible to see just what was happenin’ everywhere.”

  “Yes, of course,” Mayor Koala understood, “those deputies were easy to spot with those stupid stars they were wearing on their overalls.”

  “Yeah, so this year we goin’ to do it a bit differently,” Duffy explained. “I’ve told the deputies they can’t wear those stars. They have to dress like everybody else, so that the scoundrels in the crowd won’t know who they are. That way, when trouble starts, it’s more likely that a deputy will be there to see it, call the rest of us, and we can quash the violence before it breaks out and spreads.”

  “Why, that’s an excellent plan! I see you’ve been thinking, Duffy. That should work just fine,” Mayor Koala complimented him.

  “I’m glad you approve, sir,” Duffy said, then looked a bit hesitant. “Oh, there is one thing…”

  “What’s that?” Mayor Koala and Rolly asked in unison.

  “Well, those deputy koalas were insistin’ on wearin’ their stars. Vanity, you know. And in order to get them to promise not to wear them, I had to offer them somethin’ in return,” Duffy explained.

  “Uh-oh, I think this is the part of the conversation I’m not going to like very much,” Mayor Koala looked sceptical. “What did you promise them, Duffy?”

  “Uuuh, well, I told them that we’d pay each one of them one hundred and fifty walnuts.”

  “One hundred and fifty!” Mayor Koala cried out. “How many deputies do you have?”

  “Five, sir,” Duffy replied.

  “Doooh! That makes... Let me see…” the Mayor started counting on his fingers and thumbs, “seven hundred and fifty walnuts! That will eat up a good five percent of my – I mean, of the Koalatown government’s – supply!”

  “Sorry, Mayor, but that’s the only way I could get them to agree to the plan,” Duffy excused himself.

  “Aw, come on now, Mayor,” Judge Rolly consoled him. “It’ll be worth it. If this year’s celebration takes place without any problems, it’ll be all the better for your reputation. And besides, if it goes well this year, maybe more koalas from Koalaville will come over for the next event we have, which would mean more income for us, of course – I mean, for the government.”

  “Yeah, Rolly, maybe you’re right. But I expect your plan to work, Duffy. Keep things under control, see to it that no big fights break out, and that everybody has a good time.”

  “Well, I can do my best to keep things under control, but that bit about seein’ to it that everybody has a good time isn’t really up to me.”

  “Oh, you know what I mean. The liquor will cheer them up. You just have to make sure they don’t start attacking each other,” Mayor Koala instructed him.

  “Will do, Mayor. And if some mangy koala gets out of hand,” Duffy began, reaching across his body with his right paw, pulling a sturdy stick out of a little loop he had had sewn into the left side of his dark blue overalls, and then slapping the open palm of his left hand with the long end, “I’ll give him a whack over the noggin with this!”

  “Now you’re talking!” Mayor Koala approved. “Put an end to the trouble as soon as it starts. That’s the way to do it.”

  “Okay, Mayor. I guess I should be goin’ now. I want to tell the deputies where they should position themselves during the celebration.”

  “Fine, Duffy. Good luck tonight,” Rolly wished him.

  “Yes, indeed,” Mayor Koala said. “Do your duty as you see fit, and I’m confident things will go well. We’ll see you at the party.”

  “Bye, Judge. See you, Mayor!” Duffy called to them as he climbed down their tree.

  “A laudable civil servant, that Duffy. A real no-nonsense type of koala,” Rolly opined.

  “No doubt about it. Just what we need here in Koalatown. Those scallywags in the southwest know he won’t let ’em get away with much!” the Mayor smirked.

  “Right you are,” Rolly concurred. “Duffy knows how to earn their respect: talk tough, and carry a big stick.”

  “A sure formula for success,” Mayor Koala agreed whole-heartedly.

  Girls will be Girls

  “Why, hello, Puffy, Beppeen. How are my spring overalls coming along?” Cuddly, a cute young female, greeted the two seamstresses, who were sitting on a bench placed in front of a long table at the base of their tree in Koalaville.

  “Oh, we just finished them this morning. Wouldn’t you like to try them on?” Beppeen asked as she went through a pile of overalls at one end of the table, picking out those they had made for Cuddly.

  “My, don’t they look great! I love the material – it’s so supple! These winter overalls simply don’t give you the same freedom of movement that the lighter ones do.”

  “Yes, it’s true,” Puffy explained, “but then, the cloth for the winter ones has to be thick if they are to keep you warm.”

  “Step behind the curtain on the other side of the tree. You can try them on there,” Beppeen led Cuddly behind the tree, where the seamstresses had hung a curtain from a branch, forming a semicircle about one yard from the trunk. They knew that no decent koala would want to change clothes in front of anyone who happened to pass by.

  After a few minutes, Cuddly emerged from the dressing area and seemed to be delighted. “Oh, they fit perfectly! And these buttons are so elegant!”

  “I’m glad you like them. We bought them from an especially talented artistic wood carver over in Koalatown.”

  “Why, who would think that anything as beautiful as these buttons could come from over there?” Cuddly expressed her surprise.

  “Yes, I know what you mean,” Beppeen agreed, “but I guess it just goes to show that you can find great ability even in the least likely of places.”

  “I imagine so,” Cuddly said. “Speaking of Koalatown: are you two and Muffy going to go over there this evening for the big spring celebration?”

  “Oh no, of course not!” Puffy replied. “Not after what happened last year. That huge fight that broke out just ruined everything! We were afraid we w
ere going to be trampled to death in the crowd, once everybody started running away from those violent thugs that were trying to kill each other.”

  “I remember well,” Beppeen added, “and I’m sure Muffy won’t forget, either. We three had gone over a couple of hours before the party to deliver some overalls to a few customers we have there. We stayed for the party, and at first, everything seemed just fine. Then that brawl broke out, and we barely managed to escape from it, but when we got to the eastern edge of Koalatown, some other delinquent came up to us, grabbed Muffy, and tried to kiss her! He was drunk, and most uncouth, I must say.”

  “Yeah, and he was pretty ugly, too,” Puffy added. “Muffy had to slap his face, and I had to kick him in the shin before he would let her go. We got back here to Koalaville as fast as we could.”

  “Oh, that must have been terrible!” Cuddly responded. “I didn’t go last year, since I had a mild case of cold tail. I was thinking of going over tonight, but after hearing all this, maybe I’d better not.”

  “You’d be better off staying here,” Puffy advised. “You know what? Maybe we three should visit our new King, and ask that he organize a celebration here, maybe at the beginning of the summer. After all, why should Koalatown have all the fun?”

  “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea,” Beppeen exclaimed. “If there is a celebration here, I’m sure it would be much more civilized, considering the fact that eucalyptus liquor is illegal in our grove.”

  “Count me in!” Cuddly was enthusiastic. “I’m sure everybody would have a great time.”

  “Hello, ladies,” Eddy Koala, a young male who happened to be passing by the tree, greeted them politely. “My, that is a lovely pair of overalls – such a fine shade of yellow! Say, I wonder if you might be interested in accompanying me to the celebration over in Koalatown this evening, Cuddly? We could dance all night, and I’m sure I’d be the envy of every guy there if you were my dancing partner.”

  “Hee hee, oh, Eddy, don’t exaggerate now! Why, I’d love to go with you. When will you be leaving?” Cuddly was obviously delighted.

  “In about an hour and a half. May I pick you up at your tree?”

  “That will be just fine. I’ll be there and ready in an hour and a half. Bye-bye!” Cuddly giggled.

  After Eddy walked away, Beppeen asked her, “But I thought you said you weren’t going to Koalatown tonight?”

  “Oh, well, how could I refuse a good-looking koala like Eddy? The truth is, I’ve been hoping he would ask me out some day, and now I’ve finally got a date with him!”

  “He is cute, isn’t he?” Puffy remarked. “And from what I heard, he is very responsible, too.”

  “Oh yes, and he’s also smart. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up on the Koala Council some day, or maybe he’ll start more businesses. He and his friend Minty run the kiln over in the northeast, you know. They make the finest ceramic products around. In any case, he’s definitely marriage material.” Cuddly seemed to know just what she wanted.

  “Oh yeah, we have a set of teacups we got from them last year. Who knows?” said Beppeen. “Perhaps the date you have with him tonight will be the start of something really big?”

  “Oh, Beppeen, don’t get my hopes up too much!” Cuddly laughed. “But that would be wonderful, wouldn’t it? I’m sure he would make a perfect husband!”

  The three girls then spent about twenty minutes chatting and gossiping, until Cuddly hurried off to get ready for her date.

  A minor Emergency

  Some hours before, Hatchy was up in the forest looking for more beehives from which to collect honey. He was startled when he heard a series of loud shrieks, as if someone were in complete panic. “Oooh!! Heeellp! Help me! Aaaaahh!”

  He ran past some trees towards the source of the cries, and saw a young koala wildly waving a stick around, trying to shoo away a very angry swarm of bees, who seemed to be intent on killing the poor fellow. Hatchy, who was wearing his protective suit, dashed over, grabbed hold of the koala, and lead him away as quickly as he could towards a nearby pond, then pushed him right into it. Seeing that they could no longer easily sting him, the bees soon flew away.

  “Hey, why did you push me in here? This water is really cold!” the koala seemed upset.

  “To save your life, that’s why. Those bees could have killed you!” Hatchy explained. “Now climb out of there before you catch cold,” he said as he helped him out.

  “Oooh! I hurt all over! They even stung my nose, oooooh!”

  “Here, smear some of this on it,” Hatchy took a little jar of ointment out of his pocket and opened the lid, offering it to the koala, who took a dab and carefully rubbed it into his sore nose.

  “What the heck were you doing near a beehive anyway, with just a stick and no protection?” Hatchy asked.

  “Since when does a stick need protection?” the stranger answered with a question of his own.

  “Huh? No, I mean you had no protection,” Hatchy could see that this koala wasn’t very bright.

  “Well, they don’t give you eucalyptus liquor for nothin’,” the koala explained. “I thought I could get some honey up here in the forest, and then sell it for a few bottles of liquor before the celebration tonight.”

  “Oh, you’re from Koalatown, huh?” Hatchy now realized. “But what are you doing here in the forest above Koalaville, then? Koalatown has a forest, too.”

  “Yeah, I know, but there are so many koalas lookin’ for nuts, berries, honey, or whatever in our forest today that I thought my chances of findin’ somethin’ valuable would be better if I came over here.” At that, the koala seemed to sway back and forth, and it looked to Hatchy as though he might lose consciousness.

  “Hey,” Hatchy said as he put an arm around him, “I’d better help you back to our grove. Doctor Koala will have a look at those stings. Come on, let’s go.”

  The koala was too weak to protest, and Hatchy helped him walk down into Koalaville. When they got to the border between the forest and the grove, a koala named Pringly saw them, and trotted over to help. Between the two of them, Pringly and Hatchy half-carried the smitten koala down to the little shack at the base of Doctor Koala’s tree.

  “Hey Doc, here’s a patient for you,” Pringly said as he stuck his head through the door. The doctor didn’t seem to have any patients at the moment. “Seems he’s been stung by a bunch of bees.”

  “Okay, put him down on this table here.” They carried him in and carefully laid him on the wooden examination table, then watched as the physician began to examine him.

  “I could work a lot better if I didn’t have you two looking over my shoulders. Get out of here! I’ll tell you when I’m done,” Doctor Koala snapped at them.

  “Boy, he is really crabby sometimes, isn’t he?” Hatchy whispered to Pringly after they had stepped outside.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. Must be the stress of spending all day with sick creatures,” Pringly answered. The two then began to chat to pass the time while they were waiting; they definitely wanted to stick around to see how the patient was doing.

  After about twenty minutes, Doctor Koala stepped out of the shack. “Come on, you two. You can help me move him from the table to the cot. He needs to get some sleep now.”

  They entered again, picked up the koala and placed him on the little cot that was up against the wall opposite the table.

  “Well, Doc, how is he?” Hatchy asked.

  “He’ll be fine by tomorrow morning. I gave him some herbs to put him into a deep sleep. That’ll help him recover. At first I thought he might be allergic to bee stings.”

  “Well, was he?” Pringly wanted to know.

  “No, of course not. If he were, he’d be in a better world right now,” the doctor replied.

  “Huh?” the two grunted simultaneously.

  “I mean, he’d have already bitten the dust,” the Doctor explained.

  “What?” Hatchy and Pringly were still perplexed.

  “I mean,
he’d be dead!” Doctor Koala said, a bit peeved.

  “Oh, no! But he won’t die, will he?” Hatchy worried.

  “No, as I said, he apparently isn’t allergic. He was stung a lot, though. At least fifteen or twenty times, I’d say. That sting on the nose will be hurting him the most the next few days, but that does have its bright side,” Doctor Koala added.

  “Bright side? A sting on the nose would hurt like the devil! Where’s the bright side there?” Pringly asked, imagining how painful that would be.

  “Well,” the doctor went on, “because of the excruciating pain in his nose, he won’t notice all those other stings on his body as much.”

  “Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Pringly now understood.

  “Okay, Doctor Koala, we’ll stop back tomorrow to see how he’s doing.”

  “Oh, before you go: what’s this fellow’s name, anyway?” the medicine koala asked.

  “Oh, uuuuh… I think he said Mazooey, or something like that. I’m not sure, it all happened so fast. He is from Koalatown, though,” Hatchy said.

  “I thought as much. Never seen him over here,” Doctor Koala responded.

  “Okay then Doc, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Pringly said as the two walked off.

  “Are you sure we want to see Doc again tomorrow?” Hatchy asked.

  “Yeah, sure. Don’t you want to see how that koala’s doing?” Pringly didn’t understand Hatchy’s attitude.

  “Oh, of course, but I suspect that when Mazooey wakes up tomorrow and realizes he missed the big celebration, he’s going to be in a really bad mood, so I suspect he and Doctor Koala are going to have one big argument, and our good Doctor will be really crabby!”

  “Hmmm, I didn’t think of that. Maybe we shouldn’t stop by till tomorrow evening, then,” Pringly suggested.

  “Yeah, good idea,” Hatchy agreed. “Thanks for your help, Pringly. I’m heading home now.”

  “Right, so am I. See you tomorrow!”

  The Great Spring Celebration

  All of Koalatown was buzzing, even though there was not a bee to be seen. It was buzzing with activity, with laughter, animated conversations, musicians tuning their instruments, the sound of wood against wood as stands and a central platform were being set up at the last minute: the Great Spring Celebration was just about to begin, and it was the event of the year for most of the koalas who lived there, and even for many who didn’t.

  Mayor Koala didn’t look pleased as he talked to a few workers. “Did you have to wait till the last minute to prepare this platform? I need it to give my opening speech. With this crowd, nobody will see me if I have to stand on the ground!”

  “Don’t worry, Mayor. It’ll be ready in ten minutes. I had some other things to take care of earlier, but as I said, it’ll be ready real soon now,” Filthy, a carpenter koala, answered.

  Filthy was, despite his questionable name, of unquestionable character. Though able to do all sorts of carpentry work, he had specialized in wagon building. He had a fenced-in area up in the north-central part of Koalatown, right next to the forest, where he kept his supply of wood, and the wagons that were in all stages of construction. Since he often had to crawl under a wagon to make repairs, adjustments, or just to see if everything was in order, his fur often got covered with dirt, though he didn’t mind.

  Even as a koala baby, he seemed to like to play around on the ground, picking up dirt and grime in the process. Thus, his parents named him “Filthy,” a name that was now as appropriate as ever. Filthy was known for his somewhat serious nature, his steadfastness of character – a quality not often to be found here in Koalatown – and his work ethic. Not that he was overly ambitious: he often repaired things for koalas at very low prices, if they didn’t have much to offer him, or even for free, where old koalas were concerned. After all, the elderly citizens were not able to roam around the forest looking for berries or nuts with which to pay him. Yet payment wasn’t the most important thing for Filthy. He liked being useful, and doing a good job. Nonetheless, he had no qualms about charging Mayor Koala a stately price for the work he did for him, for he knew that the Mayor was quite able to pay well, and that not all of the politician’s gains had been acquired honestly.

  As Filthy had promised, the platform was finished in ten minutes – nine minutes, forty-five seconds, to be exact – and the Mayor was pleased.

  “Excellent, just in time. These koalas are no doubt anxious to hear the outstanding speech I am about to give. Isn’t that right, Rolly?”

  Judge Rolly smiled. “I think they are more anxious for the speech to finish, so that they can start drinking the liquor.”

  “Well, you didn’t think I would allow the liquor stands to start selling before I talk, did you? Then they’d all be drunk, and would start shouting while I’m speaking – not at all an acceptable situation.”

  “Hey Mayor, we’re waitin’ for your speech!” an impatient koala called out from the crowd, which had now grown to over a thousand.

  “You see, Rolly?” the Mayor said smugly as he climbed up onto the platform, which was about two feet off the ground. “They love me!”

  Judge Rolly climbed up as well, and sat in a chair next to the speaker.

  “Heh hum…” the Mayor cleared his throat, as Duffy, Mabo and Doefoo, the three policekoalas, called out to the crowd to be silent.

  When all were relatively quiet, the Mayor began:

  “Let me welcome you all, young and old, on this joyous occasion. Once again, as every year, we are about to commence the Great Spring Celebration, which is perhaps the greatest tradition in our beloved grove. It gives us a chance to socialize, to dance, to make new acquaintances, in a word, to have fun!”

  All the koalas cheered wildly; when they had calmed down, he continued:

  “Koalatown has progressed significantly this year, as it did last year, and as it has done every year since I have been mayor. Our educational plan – ‘Koalas teaching Koalas’ – has been increasingly successful, and the number of koalas who have learned to read, by receiving help from those who already can, has grown by some eight percent in this year alone. Another project, ‘Grub for Grandparents’ – one of my favorites, and one I thought up myself, by the way – has not only provided our elderly grovemates with nutritious food from the forest, but has instilled a spirit of charity in the younger citizens who partake in it by giving a percentage of the food they gather to our senior citizens. And I would now like to announce that our health care system will soon improve by leaps and bounds. You see, Koalatown has decided – that is, I have decided, since after all, the idea was mine – that we will pay Doctor Koala of Koalaville, no doubt the best physician in the south, and perhaps in all of Koalaland – to give classes in general medicine to a select group of some of Koalatown’s brighter students, so that they may serve our community in the future, and thereby assure the better health and well-being of all of us.”

  More cheers, for a sick koala is always glad to receive expert medical care. However, the crowd was becoming a bit impatient, since they were here for a party, not a speech.

  “Oh, I can see that you are just itching to start dancing, so I won’t hold you up much longer.” An even greater cheer arose.

  “But I would like to mention that in just three months, we will have our summer celebration; then let’s not forget the one in the fall, and the New Year’s Party as well. I promise you that as long as you keep electing me as your Mayor, Koalatown will have more parties than any grove around!”

  Another ovation; then one koala called out, “Okay, you’ll get our votes! Now let us start to have fun!”

  “Of course, my good koala,” the Mayor went on, “but first, let our venerable Judge Rolly say some final words.” The crowd moaned, since they sensed another speech was on the way. Rolly, however, knowing his co-citizens exceedingly well, had no intention of torturing them any further. Standing up and raising his hands, he simply said:

  “I, Rolly, in my official capac
ity as Judge of Koalatown, do hereby declare that the Great Spring Celebration will now begin. Have fun, everybody!”

  Ecstatic acclamation now, and a mad scrambling towards the stands where eucalyptus liquor, as well as other drinks and snacks, were sold. The musician koalas began to play their instruments: stringed instruments played with bows (somewhat reminiscent of our violins and cellos), horns, flutes, and undoubtedly the most popular among the common koalas – drums. Musical rhythm, that most basic element of the art, since it reflects the rhythms found in nature – the seasons, night and day, the heartbeat – was the element most dear to the Koalatown koalas. Though there were some rather accomplished musicians in the grove, the more refined subtleties that they expressed when playing were more often than not lost on the masses, who simply wanted to move, to dance, and for this, rhythm was really all that they needed. Thus, on such occasions, the musicians never failed to include drums in their pieces, though they also made it a point to play melodies that were easy to pick up, since a good tune is something even an uneducated koala can appreciate.

  Koalas were already dancing en masse, and though the density of the crowd made it almost impossible to do so without bumping into others, no one seemed to mind, for all were merry, and in the best of moods.

  Bumpy, Humpy, and Dumpy were certainly no exceptions, for they had met up with three local beauties – Meppy, Milly and Silly – and were now embracing their dates as they danced.

  “I can hardly believe it!” Bumpy said as he stared into Milly’s eyes. “I thought your fur was your most attractive feature, but now, when I see your eyes – only now do I get a feeling for what absolute beauty is!”

  “Oh, Bumpy, you can’t be serious!” Milly blushed as she smiled demurely.

  “I could get lost in those eyes – get lost and never want to be found again.”

  “Oh, you’re sooo romantic!” she purred as she hugged him.

  “Gee, Silly, you’re a really friendly girl, huh uh huh,” Dumpy, though not as poetic as his friend, nevertheless wanted to pay a compliment to his date.

  “Hee hee hee, Dumpy, you’re so cute!” Silly, delighted, pinched his cheek.

  Humpy, for his part, was not at a loss for eloquence. “Meppy, when I see you, with that soft, sensual, multi-colored fur, and hold you in my unworthy arms, I feel as if I am hugging a rainbow – a rainbow that will carry me off to the land of my dreams.”

  “Oh, Humpy, you do have a way with words!” Meppy was pleased that her colorful fur had won her an ardent admirer.

  “I am quite in earnest, my dear. I’ve never met a koala like you. Oh, I admit I’ve been around…” Humpy certainly didn’t want her to think he had no experience in such matters, “but when I first met you, I knew you were somebody special. A koala who dares to be different, who uses her obviously refined artistic taste to select just the right colors to use to dye her fur, and fur that is so velutinous, that…” he continued, running his hand over her shoulder, “...no, this cannot be fur. It must be silk, or velvet! Oh, what a delight to the touch!”

  “Oooh, Humpy, I can tell you’re from Koalaville! You’re such a smooth talker!”

  Meppy bathed in the compliments he was showering upon her.

  Despite the general merriment, not all the koalas in the grove were enjoying themselves. Standing on the sidelines next to a tree, and looking very grim, were Chuppy, Guppy and Moldy, who were watching Bumpy, Humpy and Dumpy dancing and flirting with the three koala girls.

  “Why, those scurvy critters!” Guppy scowled. “Who do they think they are, stealin’ our girls like that? Meppy and her friends were gonna come to the party with us, till those three butted in.”

  “Yeah, I feel like goin’ over there and punchin’ that punk Bumpy right in his ugly snoot! As a matter of fact, I think I’ll do just that!” Chuppy announced as he took a step in that direction, his fists clenched.

  “Wait, you idiot!” his friend Moldy pulled him back. “Don’t you see that dumb Duffy over there? If we get into a fight, we’ll end up chained to a tree, after he beats us senseless, that is.”

  “Uuugh!” Chuppy grunted. “There ain’t any justice in this world at all!”

  “Yeah, well, we gotta wait for the right opportunity,” Guppy said.

  “Hey, maybe we can make our own opportunity,” Chuppy replied with a malicious grin. “I’ve got an idea, heh heh heh…”

  “Uh oh,” Guppy groaned, “the last time you had a bright idea, we ended up in big trouble.”

  “Hey, this idea’s a lot better than the one I had about planting that beehive in Duffy’s tree,” Chuppy defended himself.

  “Well, it better be. I got stung five times that day, and we didn’t even manage to get the beehive out of the tree in the forest where we found it.”

  “Okay you two, shut up and listen. Here’s what we’re gonna do…” Chuppy went on to explain his plan, and had soon convinced both of his delinquent buddies of its genius.

  “All right, let’s get started, then,” Guppy said once Chuppy had finished. “First, we need an unsuspecting koala… Hey! You there! Come over here!” he yelled to a young koala who was standing on the sidelines of the social activity, probably too timid to dance.

  “Uh, do you mean me?” the koala looked hesitant, no doubt because he knew of the rotten reputation that those three had.

  “Yeah, we mean you!” Moldy answered, walking over and grabbing him by the arm to lead him over to the other two rascals.

  “Oh, don’t hurt me! I didn’t do anything!” the koala pleaded.

  “Hurt you? Why, we wouldn’t think of it!” Chuppy grinned. “As a matter of fact, we’d like to be your friends.”

  “You would? Really?” the koala asked, suspecting a trick of some kind.

  “Sure we would,” Guppy replied. “If you’re our friend, we don’t have to beat you up. You would like to be our friend, wouldn’t you?”

  “Oh, yes sir, I most certainly would,” the koala responded. “My name is Dewey.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Chuppy muttered. “Look, Tooey…”

  “Uh, the name’s Dewey, sir.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Okay, Dewey, I’m Chuppy, and these are my pals Guppy and Moldy. Since we’re all friends now, maybe you’d like to do us a little favor.”

  “A favor?” Dewey couldn’t imagine what they’d want from him, since he didn’t even have any nuts or berries.

  “Yeah, just one little favor. We’d like you to deliver a message to somebody here at the dance.”

  “Oh, well, I guess I could do that for you. But why can’t you do it yourselves?” Dewey asked innocently.

  Chuppy grabbed Dewey by the straps of his overalls, and pulled him close to his snarling face. “Look chump, don’t ask any questions, if ya know what’s good for ya!”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Dewey trembled.

  Chuppy, calming down, let him go and straightened out the straps of Dewey’s overalls for him. “Sorry I blew up, but I don’t like it when a friend like you doubts my good intentions.”

  “Oh, no sir, I’d never do that!” Dewey tried to smile, but wished he were someplace else right then.

  “Look, it’s simple. We’ll give you a note, and tell you who to give it to, and that’s it. That’s not too much to ask of a pal, is it?” Moldy tried to reassure him.

  “Well, no, I suppose…” Dewey thought he was lucky if that was all they wanted from him.

  “Okay, let’s sit down here, and get that note written. Here’s a scrap of paper,” Chuppy began, pulling a wrinkled piece of yellowish paper out of his pocket. “Who has a pen?”

  “Oh, let’s see,” Dewey replied, “I do, right here. Well, actually, it’s a pencil, will that do?”

  “Yeah, that’s swell,” Chuppy responded as he took it. “Let’s see… Mmmmm… Oh, I’m afraid I forgot my glasses. Can’t write too neatly without ’em. Here Guppy, you write.”

  “Oh, uuh, I forgot mine, too. Moldy?”

&
nbsp; “Uuuuh, I have a cramp in my hand. It would really hurt if I had to write that note,” Moldy lied. It was plain to Dewey that not one of them could write very well, if at all, yet he thought it safer not to say so.

  “Dewey, do you know how to write?” Guppy asked

  “Why, yes indeed, I write quite well, and I don’t need glasses,” he was glad to be able to please the mangy trio.

  “Fine, then. Here you go,” Chuppy said with a smile as he handed Dewey pencil and paper. “Here’s what you should write: ‘You’re real cute. Meet me up in the northeast in thirty minutes, where the path enters the forest, and I’ll give you a big kiss’.”

  Dewey carefully wrote the message, word for word, and then asked, “Is that all?”

  “Yeah, that’s it. Guppy answered for Chuppy. “Now, you see that koala over there dancing with the cute koala?”

  “You mean the one dancing with the girl who has that multi-colored fur?”

  “No, not that one, the one dancing with the other girl,” Moldy said.

  “But there are so many couples dancing. I don’t know which one you mean.”

  “Augh!” Chuppy grunted. “Are you tryin’ to get me mad?!”

  “Oh, no sir! I just want to be sure I give it to the right koala.”

  “Okay, we’ll do it like this,” Chuppy said, calming down. “Go over there, where all those koalas are dancin’ near the stands. Then, when this dance is over and they take a rest, call out ‘Bumpy Koala! I’ve got a message for Bumpy!’, and when he comes over to you, give him the message, then leave. He’ll be with a pretty girl, so you should try to make sure that she doesn’t see what’s in the note. We wouldn’t want her to get offended or anything. Is that too much to ask?”

  “Oh no, not at all. But this note says ‘you’re real cute’, and that you want to give him a kiss, but he’s a male koala. I’m a little confused…” Dewey didn’t know quite what to think.

  “Hey pal, what are you tryin’ to insinuate?!” Chuppy flared up menacingly, clenching his fists.

  “Oh, nothing, nothing at all, sir! I’ll give him the note, I surely will!” Dewey shook with fear. “But you know, maybe I’m not the right koala for this. Everybody might look at me. I am a little shy, you know…” Dewey lowered his head, a bit ashamed that he was so timid.

  “Hey, Dewey, look at it this way,” Guppy smiled as he put his arm around him. “If you call out for Bumpy, some koalas will stare at you for a few seconds, but if you leave this party with lumps and bruises all over your face, they’ll be starin’ at you for at least a week. Now, which do you choose?”

  “Oh, why, a few seconds sounds a lot better to me! I’ll go over there and find Bumpy as soon as this dance ends,” Dewey said quickly, needing no time whatsoever to make his choice.

  “Fine. Oh, here,” Chuppy said, feeling generous. “Take a swig of this eucalyptus liquor. It’ll make it easier for you. Oh, and if he asks who gave you the message, say it was a girl, that you don’t know her name, but that she was a real beauty. Got that?”

  “Yes, a girl, no name, a real beauty, that’s what I’ll say,” Dewey then took a swig and started to cough. He obviously wasn’t used to the stuff.

  The other three laughed. “Really lifts your spirits, huh?” Moldy asked.

  “Oh, uh, why, yes, it does, thank you very much,” Dewey answered, glad that they seemed to be in a good mood now.

  “Okay, enough talk. You’ve got a message to deliver. This dance should be endin’ in a minute. Bye, and thanks for your help!” Chuppy said as he pushed him a bit to get him to move.

  “All right, I’ll do just as you say. Have a nice evening!” Dewey wished them, quite relieved to be able to put some distance between himself and the three miscreants.

  He made his way through the crowd, and when he got to the eucalyptus liquor stand, he stood and waited for the dance to end. As soon as it was finished, the koalas began to mill around. Many, including Bumpy, Humpy, Dumpy and their dates, were walking over towards the stand.

  “Bumpy Koala! I’ve got an important message for Bumpy Koala!” Dewey called out, feeling quite uncomfortable in doing so, since many in the crowd looked over at him. Fortunately, Bumpy was close by, and came over at once.

  “You’ve got a message for me?” he asked, surprised.

  “Yes sir, I have. It’s a private message,” he added in a softer voice, so that only Bumpy could hear.

  “Okay, let’s have it,” Bumpy took it and began to read. “Hmm, I seem to have forgotten my glasses. Could you read it to me?” Bumpy requested.

  “Well, yes, I suppose I could,” Dewey replied. Then, not wanting anybody to overhear, he leaned towards Bumpy and whispered the message into his ear: “You’re real cute. Meet me up in the northeast in thirty minutes, where the path enters the forest, and I’ll give you a big kiss.”

  “Why, you freak! I oughta punch you right in the snoot! Now read me that message before I...” Bumpy snorted, raising his fist.

  “Oh, no sir, you misunderstood. That was the message!” Dewey quickly explained.

  “Huh? It was? Are you sure?” Bumpy was bewildered, since he couldn’t imagine having a secret admirer here. “Is that really what it says? Who gave you this, anyway?”

  “Oh, it was a girl koala,” Dewey answered slowly and deliberately, trying not to forget his instructions. “She had no name, and was a real beauty.”

  “Huh? She had no name? But everybody has a name!” Bumpy was perplexed.

  “Oh, I mean I don’t know her name; yes, that’s what I mean. She was a girl, was really beautiful, and I don’t know her name. That’s it!” Dewey was satisfied that he had finally remembered everything.

  “Oh, well, in that case…” Bumpy said with a smug smile, “I think you deserve a little reward. Here, have a swig of this,” he offered him his bottle of eucalyptus liquor.

  “Oh, well…” Dewey was afraid not to accept, for after all, who knows how this koala might respond if he rejected his kind offer? “Thank you very much, sir!” he said as he took a drink, then burped loudly.

  “Hah hah!” Bumpy laughed. “That hit the spot, didn’t it? Well, my fine koala, I thank you for your efforts, and I owe you a favor. If you ever need anything, just come on over to Koalaville, and ask for Bumpy Koala.”

  “Oh, okay sir, I’ll remember that. May I go now?” Dewey asked shyly.

  “Why, of course you can, and thanks again!”

  Milly, who had been chatting with Meppy after the dance, came over to Bumpy.

  “Did you receive an important message?” she asked.

  “Oh, uh, oh, yes, I did. A message from… from a business partner, you see. I’m afraid I’ll have to meet him in a half hour, but don’t worry, I should be back in an hour or so.”

  “Oh, Bumpy, what a shame!” Milly was disappointed. “Can’t it wait? It’s so much fun with you!”

  “Oh, I know my dear, but it is important. A big business deal I’ve been negotiatin’, but don’t worry, once I finish the meeting, I’ll come right back here, and we can dance till dawn!”

  “Well, okay, I guess that’ll be all right,” Milly said, showing how understanding she was. “I just hope it doesn’t take long.”

  “I’ll make it as short as I can,” Bumpy promised. “Oh, excuse me. I have to tell Humpy and Dumpy. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  After showing his two friends the note, they didn’t know what to think.

  “Who could that be?” Humpy wondered. “And why are you going, anyway? You have Milly here!”

  “Oh, I know, but she’ll be here when I get back. The koala that sent me this note is a real beauty, I’ve heard! Wouldn’t you be curious to find out who it is, if you got a message like this?”

  “Well, yeah, I would,” Humpy admitted.

  “Uh, gee Bumpy,” Dumpy began, “I don’t think it’s polite to leave Milly to go meet somebody else, is it? Huh uh huh.”

  “Oh, don’t ask me questions like that! A koala’s gotta do wh
at a koala’s gotta do, that’s all there is to it!”

  “Uh, gee Bumpy, what’s a koala gotta do?”

  “What he’s gotta do,” Bumpy repeated.

  “Oh, yeah… huh uh huh…” Dumpy didn’t grasp the logic, and thought that he wasn’t quite smart enough to understand a mind as developed as Bumpy’s. “Gee, I guess that makes sense, huh uh huh.”

  “Look, fellas, you two keep the three girls entertained till I get back. I’ll just go up there to the tête-à-tête, get in a few kisses, and then plan to meet her some other day. After that, I’ll come right back here, and Milly will never suspect a thing!”

  “Okay, Bumpy, but don’t take too long, or Milly might start asking too many questions.”

  “Don’t worry, I shouldn’t be more than an hour at the very most,” Bumpy assured them. Then he walked over to Milly, gave her a tender kiss on the cheek, promised to finish his “business meeting” as soon as he could, and made his way through the crowd, heading up to the northeastern section of Koalatown, which was now practically vacant, since most koalas were in the central part, enjoying the party.

  The Perils of impetuous Passion

  “Hey Mabo,” police chief Duffy called as he walked over to one of his officers.

  “Yeah, chief? What is it?” Mabo, standing on the sidelines of the festivities and observing the crowd, asked.

  “A few minutes ago, I saw one of those Koalaville koalas start to walk up towards the northeast.”

  “So what? He’s probably going to the forest path, so he can go home,” Mabo saw no reason to be suspicious.

  “That’s what I thought at first, but the celebration’s only just begun. Why would he go home so soon? And besides, that koala looks to me to be one of the rowdy sort. I got to thinkin’, and I figure he may be goin’ up north to burglarize a few trees. After all, now that practically everybody is here in the center, it would be a perfect chance for criminals to steal everything they can find in the trees up there.”

  “Good point, boss. What do you suggest?” Mabo asked.

  “Well, maybe he’s harmless,” Duffy replied, “but just to be sure, why don’t you go up there, see if you can spot him, and check out what he’s doin’? He’ll be easy to find, since he’s probably the only one there now.”

  “Should I follow him if he enters the forest?” Mabo wanted to know.

  “Maybe a bit, to make sure he’s headin’ back to Koalaville. Then you can return and report to me.”

  “Will do, Chief!” Mabo elbowed his way through the dense crowd until he had gotten to the northernmost part of the central clearing, then headed northeast through the grove.

  Bumpy, meanwhile, had reached the forest path a good five minutes before. He looked around and saw no-one, so he figured that he had arrived early, and decided to wait for the mysterious beauty.

  After a minute, he heard a high-pitched giggle coming from behind a nearby tree:

  “Hee hee, here I am, hee hee!”

  “Why, that must be her!” he thought to himself. Then, speaking aloud, “Is that you? Are you the beauty that wants to meet Bumpy? Well, I’m Bumpy!”

  “Oh, you’re sooo cute!” the voice responded; it was a high voice, but nonetheless sounded a bit rough to Bumpy. He figured that the poor thing must have a cold. He walked over towards the tree.

  “Don’t be shy! I’m sure we’ll get along swell!” he said when he got to the tree. Then he added, just before bending down a bit and peeking around the trunk, “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you!”

  “No, I’ll hurt you!” a now-low voice responded, as a figure stepped around from the other side of the tree, faced him, then punched him in the face before Bumpy could lift his paws in defense. Bumpy fell onto his back, stunned by the blow.

  When Bumpy looked up from the ground, there were three figures towering above him, looking down upon him with evil grins on their faces: Chuppy, who had hit him, Guppy, and Moldy. Bumpy knew he was in big trouble, but wasn’t about to let the three brutes intimidate him.

  “Oh, so you mangy idiots think you can scare me, huh?” he asked defiantly. “Well, I’ll have you know that I am Bumpy Koala, and I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’!”

  “Well then,” Chuppy replied, “maybe we oughta teach ya!” With that, the three blackguards pounced on him and started beating him with a vengeance. Bumpy thrashed about, trying to punch whomever he could. The four were wrestling around on the ground, almost appearing to be one big hairy ball of unbridled rage and savagery: the fur was truly flying. Bumpy managed to sink his teeth into Moldy’s shoulder, and held on; the latter emitted a shrill yell while his friends continued to pommel their victim.

  Only about a minute had gone by (though to poor Bumpy, it seemed like half an eternity), when suddenly, someone pulled Chuppy up and pushed him aside, then did the same with Guppy and Moldy, who yelled all the louder, since in so doing, the newcomer had caused a small piece of flesh to be ripped from his shoulder, as Bumpy had not loosened his bite. Reaching down to pick up Bumpy as well, Mabo – for it was, of course, the policekoala who had followed Bumpy who was breaking up the fight – was knocked backwards by a punch in the nose. Bumpy, who was still lashing out, fighting for his life, had not noticed that it was a policekoala whom he was hitting. Mabo was stunned for a few seconds, which gave Chuppy, Guppy and Moldy ample time to run off among the trees to escape arrest. Bumpy, however, wasn’t so fortunate.

  “So, hitting a police officer, eh?” Mabo said angrily as he raised his stick, threatening to give Bumpy a whack on the head. “Calm down right now, or I’ll knock you senseless!”

  Bumpy, seeing that the worst was over, looked up at him apologetically. “Oh, sorry about that. I thought you were one of those thugs. It’s good you got here when you did, or I might have bought the farm!”

  Mabo thought he was delirious. “What would a scoundrel like you want with a farm?”

  “No, I mean I might have soon been pushin’ up daisies,” Bumpy explained.

  “You out of your mind, or what? There aren’t any daisies around here!” Mabo replied, irritated.

  “No, I mean I might be dead, you fool!” Bumpy put it plainly.

  “Oh, attackin’, then insultin’ a police officer. You’ll pay for this, you rascal!” Mabo, reaching down to grab him, rolled Bumpy over, placed his knee on his back so he couldn’t move, then took out a cord with which he tied his hands behind his back.

  “You’re under arrest. You have the right to shut your darned mouth. Anything you say can and will be used as an excuse to punch you in the snoot. You have the right to an attorney, though I don’t know where the devil you’re gonna find one here in Koalatown willing to defend a scurvy beast like you. And if you can’t afford an attorney, tough luck!” Mabo pulled him to his feet and led him off. Bruised, sore, and hurting all over, Bumpy gradually realized that for him, the Great Spring Celebration was over.

  Watching the scene from the leafy limb of a tree about thirty yards away, Chuppy and Guppy were delighted. Moldy might have been as well, but he was too busy moaning in pain, pressing a handkerchief against the wound in his shoulder in order to stop the bleeding.

  “I guess there’s justice in this world after all!” Chuppy rejoiced. “We got to give that moron the beatin’ of his worthless life, and now he’ll be chained to the Tree of Justice and put on trial. It couldn’t get any better than this!” he laughed.

  “Shhh!” Guppy warned. “Not so loud, or that Mabo might hear you!” They were silent for a moment until the policekoala had taken his prisoner off further to the south. “Yeah, you’re right there. That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time!”

  “Well, not me!” Moldy whined. “My shoulder really hurts. That animal took a big chunk out of it! I should go to a doctor. Who knows, he might have given me rabies or somethin’!”

  “Oh, stop complainin’, will ya?” Guppy told him. “Look, you can’t go to a doctor, ’cause he’ll know you were in a fight, and m
ight report you to Duffy or one of those other lamebrains who work for him.”

  “But suppose I die or somethin’?” Moldy asked with a groan.

  “Don’t worry, there’s a solution for everything. We’ll go back to the southwest, then I’ll go to my tree and ask my momma to give me that little stone that stops the bleedin’ when you hold it up against a wound.”

  “Oh, yeah, Chuppy, I remember that thing. Some doctor gave it to you last year when a scrill bit you in the hand as you reached into his tree and tried to steal his nuts,” Guppy recollected.

  “Yeah, I should’ve wrung that little devil’s neck!” Chuppy remembered with a scowl.

  “As I recall, you looked so scared that I thought the scrill was gonna wring your neck!” Guppy laughed.

  “Aw, shut up,” Chuppy responded angrily. Then, to both of his accomplices: “Okay, let’s get back to the southwest. We’ve done our good deed for the day!”