Fake Love Rich Boss Series
Page 33
I find myself staring at my younger sister, the one who I used to have to drag out of nightclubs because she couldn’t stand, the one who I never used to see sober. How is she so mature now? Have I missed out on her growing just like I’m doing with Lucy? I know it’s comparing apples to oranges, but it feels similar.
The world around me is changing and all I’ve done is stay in the same place, listen to my father’s advice, and realize that it was getting me nowhere, but I stayed too scared to change.
Maybe Allison is right. Maybe I should take the chance and try to repair things between Cassidy and myself. Maybe not to move forward in a relationship, but truly co-parent like our original plan was. Maybe I should try to be an actual father, instead of somebody who just sends a check each month.
I’m terrified. The very thought of it all scares me to death. I’ve never placed myself in a situation where I could be seen as vulnerable before, but this is it. In doing this, I could risk having my heart shattered. If Cassidy won’t even let me see Lucy...I won’t blame her...but it would hurt.
But if I don’t try, I’ll forever be haunted by my past mistakes, by all of these demons.
I straighten in the pew, raking a hand through my hair. Now that I don’t have to be presentable, I don’t care how messy it gets. I feel the semi-gelled pieces of it fall out of place.
“I should try,” I tell her. “You’re right.”
“I know,” Allison pulls her purse strap over her arm, preparing to slide out of the pew. “So, let’s bury our father tomorrow morning and then you take a flight down to Georgia. Meet your daughter or die trying.”
“Little dramatic considering what we’re going through right now.”
“We’re Windsors, Ollie. We’ve always had a flair for drama.”
“I hate how right you are.”
She slides out of the pew and I follow behind her. I take a deep breath before the two of us walk out of the church, cameras flashing. Reporters try to approach us, asking questions about how we feel, about the state of the company. Thankfully, the light at the end of the tunnel is Edward, with the door to the backseat of the car open.
I slide in next to Allison, my mind made up about what I’m going to do.
Chapter Six
Cassidy
“I really appreciate this,” I mutter, sitting in the passenger’s seat of Michael Wilson’s car.
I don’t know Michael too well, aside from an awkward attempt at a set up over dinner at Neil’s house. The set up didn’t work, we didn’t really get along that way, but I found a friend in him. So, at least that’s a win.
About an hour ago, on the way home from my mother’s house, my car came to a complete stop on the side of a mountain backroad. So, I was stuck, with a toddler who hadn’t had dinner yet and was getting fussy. My mom was unable to come to get us because she’s been having car issues as well, so I called the only other person I could, Michael.
Within ten minutes, Michael was there. He made the call for a tow truck for me, stayed by my side until it came, and then offered to drive Lucy and me home, picking up fast food for dinner on the way.
I am unbelievably thankful for this man.
Keeping one hand on the wheel, he looks over at me with a smile.
“Don’t mention it. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I left you and Miss Lucy sitting on the side of some curvy backroad. Have you seen how teenagers drive down those roads?”
“I was a teenager once here, I remember how I drove down those roads,” I laugh.
Being with Michael is easy because there are no expectations. I don’t sit here, wondering what to do or say that will impress him. I don’t wonder what he’s thinking of me, because I don’t care. He’s just a friend, and that’s what I really need right now. I don’t think I’m ready to start dating again.
“Oh?” he raises an eyebrow, “Are you telling me that Cassidy had a wild streak?”
“I wouldn’t call it wild,” I laugh. “I would just refer to it as being a reckless kid. Weren’t we all as teenagers?”
“Not me.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Luckily for you, you don’t have to,” Michael grins over to me. He pulls into the driveway of my home, turning the car off.
“Let me help you get Lucy inside and settled.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know that.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to argue any further. He puts the keys into his pocket and gets out of the car. He walks around to the backseat, helping Lucy out and then grabs the car seat.
I get my food out of the car and walk to the front door, unlocking it so Lucy can run inside with her kid’s meal. Michael places the car seat in the entryway of my house, before turning back to me.
“Do you need anything else tonight?”
“I don’t think so,” I shake my head.
Why am I so touched at this kindness? It’s not like people haven’t been nice to me in the past three years. I’ve been surrounded by amazing people since I arrived back home, people eager to help me move forward with my life. I think it’s just because of how easy this all is. How I don’t feel pressured to put on a façade or be somebody that I’m not. Instead, I’m blessed to have met somebody like Michael.
“Alright. Let me know what the mechanics say about your car. You know how they can be sometimes, trying to rip off women who don’t know any better –”
I cut him off.
“Are you suggesting I don’t know a thing about cars?” Then, I watch in amusement as Michael tries to backtrack.
His eyebrows shoot up, and I think I notice his cheeks turn red in the porchlight.
“D-do you?” he stutters out, “Because if you do, I’m sorry for assuming.”
“No.” I smile, shaking my head. “I know nothing about cars. I just wanted to see you sweat a bit.”
“That’s mean, Cassidy,” he laughs.
Maybe in another world, a different lifetime, Michael and I could be something more. Maybe if we met under different circumstances, maybe if I wasn’t so damaged. I try not to dwell on it, but at times like this, it’s hard.
It’s entirely possible that I’m overthinking all of it. Maybe Michael and I would be disastrous in a relationship. Maybe he would mess me up more than Oliver did. Or maybe I could be in a relationship with Michael and everything would be fine.
It wouldn’t be the first time I focused on the possible doom and gloom of a situation.
But I know myself better than that. I know that I’m not ready for that and Michael understands. We’re just better off as friends and that’s okay.
“Should I apologize?”
“No,” he laughs. “I like that you keep me on my toes. Anyway, like I was saying before you decided to scare me to death, let me know what they say, and I’ll go talk to them for you. Let me know if you and Lucy need a ride anywhere, I got you.”
“You know, I really appreciate all of this, Michael.”
“Don’t mention it, Cassidy.”
Reaching out, I wrap my arms around Michael in a hug. I lean into him and he pulls me in tightly. He’s warm, a comforting figure, something I haven’t had in my life in a while. We part after a few seconds and Michael steps back towards his car. I offer a little wave as he climbs in the driver’s seat.
I stand on the front porch, watching as he drives away. I linger outside in the cool mountain air for a moment. I hear the TV on behind me in the house, playing one of Lucy’s favorite shows.
I need to get inside, eat, get Lucy ready for bed, and get myself ready as well. I have work again in the morning. I curse silently, realizing I forgot to mention that to Michael. Hopefully, he’s able to give me a ride...or maybe Neil will let me work from home tomorrow.
I turn on my heel, hand lingering on the black metal handle to open the door. Before I can pull it open, I hear the crunching of gravel behind me, signaling that a car has pulled into my driveway. I turn around, expecting to see
Michael’s car in the driveway. Maybe I forgot something, and he realized that after he left?
But when I turn around, I feel my heart start to pound in my chest. I feel a cold sweat wash over my skin, nausea growing in my stomach. I don’t feel okay.
Because it’s not Michael’s old red car, it’s a sleek black one. One that only someone with money would be able to afford. I watch as the car turns off, as the door opens and the ghost that I’ve been running from for three years steps out.
I’ve thought about how I would react to seeing Oliver again after all these years. In some instances, I run into his arms and everything is okay again. Those thoughts only came to me in the first year after Lucy was born, when I thought that I couldn’t do it without him.
After that, I wanted nothing more than to slap him, to scream at him. I felt such a white-hot rage towards him. He left me alone to raise a child after promising that it would all be okay. He promised me and I believe him. Maybe that’s on me.
Now, I see him standing in my driveway. It takes longer than I’d like to admit that for me to fully realize that it’s him.
He looks so much like he did before. Perfectly styled blonde hair, perfectly tailored clothes that fit him as they should. He closes the car door, walking around to the hood of his car. He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. Our eyes meet, but I don’t know what to say.
I feel frozen solid. I want to run into the house, shut the door, and act like I don’t see him. I can’t make myself move.
I feel sick.
He looks at the ground for a minute, before looking back at me. He opens his mouth and I know that no matter what he says, it’s going to piss me off. Whatever words come out of his mouth, they’re going to sound stupid. Nothing’s going to make up for all this time apart. For making me do this alone.
“I’m surprised you haven’t walked into the house.”
That’s it. That’s what he tells me after everything. Not a ‘hi’, not an ‘I’m sorry’, but just a stupid quip about how much I hate him.
Because I should hate him.
I debate whether I’m going to respond to him or not, finally deciding to go with the former.
“I’m about to.”
With that, I turn around and walk through my front door, slamming it behind me and leaving him outside.
We’re not doing this.
Chapter Seven
Oliver
It was a spur of the moment decision. As soon as we buried my father, I took the jet to Atlanta, rented a car, and drove up to Blairsville. It was a now or never moment.
The whole flight down, I spent the time trying to figure out what I was going to say or do. It’s not like we had a fight where I could show up with flowers and promises of doing better that would soothe everything over between the two of us. I couldn’t think of any words. I just had to show up and see.
That’s exactly what I did, and it went up in flames. My stupid brain wasn’t working, so I said the first thing that came to mind. Cassidy walked away from me and I couldn’t stop her. She did the right thing. I don’t deserve her falling into my arms all over again, but I still need to try.
I want to see Lucy. Even if Cassidy won’t give me a chance to talk to her, to apologize over and over again, I want the chance to see my daughter. She doesn’t have to introduce me to her as her father. That’s fine. I just need a single chance to try and make up for everything that I’ve done.
I stand in the driveway for a few seconds longer after Cassidy leaves. A part of me is wondering whether she’s going to come back outside. A part of me is hoping that she will.
It hits me that it’s not going to happen like that. I’m lucky she didn’t call the cops on me for trespassing. I get back into the rented car and drive to the cabin that I’m renting not too far outside of the small town.
I unpack my things, planning to stay here a bit longer than planned. I need the time to prove to Cassidy that I’m here to change, to prove that I’ve changed. I have an interim CEO in charge of Windsor, acting under my advice and the advice from a business advisor that I brought on this morning. I want to finally do things the right way.
I sit down in front of the fireplace, attempting to relax on the couch. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my jeans, finding a text message from Noelle.
‘What in the hell are you doing? Cassidy texted me. Don’t be stupid.’
She’s right. Maybe I’m being stupid, but this is the only chance that I have. I ignore Noelle’s text and go straight to texting Cassidy.
‘I apologize for showing up unannounced. I’m sure that it caught you by surprise tonight. I shouldn’t have done that. I want a chance to speak with you, a chance to apologize in person for what I’ve done. If you’re willing, I’d like to meet my daughter. If not, it’s understood. I’m in town for a few weeks, so please, just let me know either way.’
I put my phone on the coffee table and wait. Minutes past and I get no reply – and I can’t help but feel disappointed. I know this is a bed of my own making. I know that Cassidy owes me nothing while I owe her everything but talking with Allison got my hopes up. It made me feel like as long as I tried, everything would work out, as necessary.
By the time I go to bed, I still don’t have a reply from Cassidy. I begin trying to accept that I’m going to leave here empty-handed. That this is a lost cause.
I sleep terribly.
When I wake up, the sun is breaking through the blinds. I’m not used to sleeping until I wake up naturally, with no assistance from an alarm. While I’m not completely shirking my responsibilities at Windsor, I’m not completely in control either. It feels incredibly freeing to not have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I reach onto the nightstand and grab my phone, planning to get back to emails and make a quick call to our interim CEO. Instead, I see a text message from Cassidy.
Nervousness begins to build within me. I don’t have high hopes. I’ve never really had high hopes for reparations or even a civil relationship. The fact she even texted me back speaks volumes. My thumb is trembling as it hovers over the message, scared of what she’s going to say. Finally, I click it.
‘I don’t appreciate you showing up without warning. I know that I don’t owe you a thing and honestly, I don’t wish to speak with you. This is the first time you’ve made an effort in three years and I have a feeling it’s because you’re going through a personal crisis. However, you are the father of my child and we have history. I’ll give you a single chance to speak your piece. We can grab lunch around noon. I can’t make any promises on how we’ll move forward from there.’
I feel relieved. I feel...grateful. I don’t know what I’m going to say or how she’s going to react, but it’s a step forward and that’s all I can ask for. I text her back, asking where to meet and she texts me an address.
Knowing that I’ve made some progress gets me out of bed, I rush to shower and make myself presentable, trying to fit in a conference call with the business advisor and the person I left in charge about how we’re moving forward with the company and what we need to enact.
I can’t focus throughout the entire call. All I can think about is Cassidy and our lunch meeting, curious as to what’s to come out of it.
I only hope it’s something that’ll be for the better of us and Lucy.
I leave the cabin a little before noon, finding the address that she gave me.
It’s a little white building that appears to be an old Victorian house that has been repurposed into a restaurant called ‘Hole in the Wall’. It looks a little worse for wear with stains on the white paneling and a sage green awning that’s weather torn. Outside of the restaurant are two outdoor dining tables with red umbrellas.
I step into the restaurant, feeling like it’s an out of body experience. The small wooden tables inside are packed tightly together, most of them full of people. When I step inside, people turn to look at me – but not in the way that I’m used to.
My attention is pulled away by a perky waitress, wearing a white crop top and a pair of jean shorts. Her blonde hair falls to her waist, not tied back.
“Afternoon. Table for one?” she greets me with a smile.
Her accent is strong, and I realize how likely it is that she’s never been outside of this town.
“I’m actually supposed to be meeting somebody.”
Now is when I begin to panic. What if Cassidy stood me up? What if this was a final ‘fuck you’ from her?
“Oh,” the blonde’s nose wrinkles. “Well, I don’t know of anybody waitin’ to meet somebody.”
I feel embarrassed. Extremely embarrassed. I’ve never been stood up before.
“Apologies. Maybe I’ve got the wrong address. I’ll head back outside to double-check and wait for the person I’m meeting. Thank you for your help.”
I make a quick exit out to the front of the restaurant, pulling my phone out of my pocket. It's entirely possible that the GPS led me to the wrong place. It often gets confused on the mountain backroads.
I double-check. This is the right place. That must mean that she’s stood me up. I decide to wait just a little while longer, in case she does show up.
I take a seat at one of the outdoor dining tables and pull out my phone, going through emails to keep me from rereading our text messages. I hear the sound of a car and look up, seeing a beat-up red car pull up next to my own.
Through the front window, I make out a man in his early thirties. He gets out and I take in his appearance, wearing a dirty white t-shirt and a pair of mud-stained jeans. His dark hair is buzzed, likely the neatest part of his appearance. He walks around to the passenger’s side of the car and opens the door.