Fake Love Rich Boss Series

by Peterson , Sloane

  Cassidy steps out. She looks at this mysterious man and smiles. I feel my stomach turn, a mixture of pain and rage building up inside of me. They talk quickly and she smiles at him again, reaching out to put a hand on his arm. It’s painful to look at and I force myself to look away.

  I hear the sound of a car door closing and an engine start. That’s when I allow myself to look again.

  It feels like Cassidy hasn’t aged a day. Her dark hair is pulled back. She’s wearing a pair of sunglasses, a white button-up shirt, and a blue and white print skirt. Her heels click on the sidewalk as she walks towards me and I find myself not knowing what to say.

  “You want to get something to eat?” she asks.

  I notice now that her southern accent is thicker than it used to be. Either it’s a result of her being back home or she was hiding her true voice while living in New York.

  “Yeah, sure. I was just waiting for you.”

  She doesn’t say anything, so I stand, following her inside of the restaurant. The perky blonde hostess is back, smiling at us, and leads us to a table towards the back, dropping off two plastic-covered menus.

  I sit across from Cassidy, looking at the menu full of simple meals. I don’t have an appetite. I’m too damned nervous, unsure of what I should or shouldn’t say.

  A waitress appears, perky and brunette, wearing the same white crop top and short shorts as the hostess. I wonder if that’s the official uniform of ‘Hole in the Wall’. She takes our order. I stay safe with a burger and then she disappears.

  Cassidy takes off her sunglasses, looking at me for what feels like the first time. Her gaze feels colder than it ever has before, nothing like the eyes that used to look at me with adoration.

  “You wanted to talk?”

  Right. I did, but I don’t know what to say. I’m scared I’m going to say the wrong thing and throw away this opportunity that’s presented itself to me.

  “I don’t know if anything I say is going to come out right or convey my message properly, but I have to try. Cassidy, I want to apologize first and foremost. For lying to you, for leaving you alone, for never showing up. I don’t expect you to accept this apology, but I do owe it to you. I also know you likely don’t believe me, but I want to express it anyway,”

  She looks at me, blinking as if she’s waiting for me to continue. She didn’t immediately cut me off, so I figure that I haven’t messed it up too badly yet.

  “I have my reasons for what I did, but nothing justifies them. I’ve missed three years of our daughter’s life. She’s never known me and that’s not what I ever wanted. I know I’ve made a mistake and I want a chance to try and right that wrong. Not for us, but for Lucy.”

  Cassidy’s lips are pursed. She’s looking anywhere else in the restaurant but at me.

  Finally, she says, “It’s more than a mistake, Oliver. You haven’t been a part of your daughter’s life. She’s never asked about you and I’m thankful, because what would I say? How could I tell her why her father doesn’t want anything to do with her? I know the questions will come as she gets older though and I’m not prepared for that.”

  “So, give me that chance.”

  Her words rip a hole in my heart, realization dawning over me. I owe Cassidy and Lucy so much, more than I can ever give them. This is all my fault, so where do I go from here?

  “You don’t even have to introduce me as her father if you don’t trust me. Let me meet her. I’m here now and I’m ready to step it up as I should have in the beginning,”

  This is the hardest part. How do I convince her without sounding like I’m just manipulating her? What words do I say that don’t just sound like me trying to put a band-aid on a broken relationship?

  “I don’t trust you.” She doesn’t hesitate to say it and it pains me.

  Trust has always been a crucial part of our relationship. We’ve always bounced between her trusting me or not. It’s always resulted in Cassidy putting her faith in me and then me proceeding to ruin it for her. I’ve always ended up making her regret her choice, and I can’t change that.

  “I know.”

  It’s all I can say. Nothing I say is going to change that fact.

  “If we weren’t somewhere public, I would really let you have it. You don’t deserve to meet Lucy, you don’t deserve me sitting across from you right now. You’ve been nothing in her life. You lied. You washed your hands of us like we meant nothing. Like I said in that text, your life is in a crisis right now, so you run back to something to make you feel good and safe.”

  If this isn’t Cassidy letting me have it, I’m scared of what it would be. I want to argue back, but I have no right to.

  “You two have always meant something to me, Cassidy. This isn’t because of my own personal crisis. It’s because I realized I can’t keep living like this.”

  “Which you woke up about because your father died. You had nothing left to cling to.”

  She’s right.

  Cassidy has always had this ability to see right through me. She can call my bluff without hesitation. She can realize what I mean without a second thought. She sees who I really am underneath the bravado and that’s always scared me. She shakes me to my core sometimes.

  “I have regretted my choices since the minute I let you walk away, since the minute I realized that I wouldn’t be able to let my promise stay true.”

  “You should have told me the minute you realized you wouldn’t be able to be what you said you would. Instead, you led me on with hope and false promises for months. You crushed me, Oliver. Again. This time Lucy’s involved, and I don’t want you getting close to her. I don’t want you to let her down like you always seem to do me.”

  Right to the heart. I can’t argue against it. I can’t say anything that will make me look better. I practically have an 0-2 track record with letting Cassidy down. Every chance she gives me, I squander.

  “I understand.”

  She finally looks at me, eyes filled with rage. Once again, I find myself missing how she used to look at me, back when she believed in me.

  “But this is about Lucy, it’s not about how I feel towards you. If Lucy wasn’t a factor, I would have never texted you back because I want you out of my life. But I want to give her the opportunity I never had. I want to allow her a chance to meet her father. That way, when you fuck it up again, she won’t be able to blame me for keeping you away.”

  “I won’t fuck it up, Cassidy.”

  “Actions speak louder than words, Oliver, and so far, your previous actions prove that you will.” She stops talking, the waitress appearing with our drinks.

  I think she senses that something is off with our conversation, or maybe our hushed argument was extremely obvious. She drops our drinks off quickly and disappears, leaving us to go back to our fighting.

  Cassidy continues, “So, with that said, I’ll give you an opportunity to meet her. I’m taking her to the petting zoo on Saturday and you can come. However, she won’t know that you’re her father. You’re just a friend. We can go from there, does that work?”

  It’s more than I expected and it’s more than I could have asked for. As much as it hurts, I couldn’t expect to just slide into the role that I so badly want to. It’s enough to try and form a relationship with Lucy.

  I nod, “Absolutely,” a pause, “thank you, Cassidy.”

  She shakes her head, “Just don’t make me regret it, Oliver, understood?”

  I nod again, “Understood. I won’t make you regret it. I promise this time.”

  “Just prove it to me.”

  After that, I don’t know what to say. What do you talk about to fill the void of silence after so many years? What can I say to make up for what I’ve done to her? How can I expect to walk in here and act as nothing has happened? How can we carry on a normal conversation?

  Luckily for me, Cassidy solves that problem.

  “I’m sorry about Alan, by the way,” Cassidy says.

  I’ve heard this time
and time again since it happened. Everyone apologies but I’m left unsure if anybody truly means it. I know that my father wasn’t liked by many, it makes no sense for them to be sorry about his death.

  What I think they really mean is that they feel sorry for me, unsure of where to go, drifting aimlessly.

  But, like always, I look her in the eyes and offer my best smile.

  “Thank you, Cassidy. I appreciate it.”

  Chapter Eight

  Cassidy

  This was a mistake. Agreeing to meet him was a complete and utter mistake. The entire drive here, I was telling Michael the same thing. I shouldn’t have replied to his text message, I should have just left him wondering as he left me. But I know that this isn’t for me. It’s for Lucy. She deserves the chance to know her father and not be left wondering who he is and why he never cared.

  Sitting across from him, my trust in Oliver is at an all-time low. Hell, a part of me expects him to disappear after this lunch and I’ll never see him again, but I’m giving him one chance. Not for me, but her.

  I chose a public place so I wouldn’t go off on him, so I wouldn’t tell him every single thing that I wanted to, so I wouldn’t tell him what I really think of him. But even in public, I’m finding it nearly impossible. The entire time he was talking, I just wanted to tell him exactly what I thought. I wanted to tell him that I’m not going to fall for his pretty words that he’s trying to placate me with. I know his game – never again.

  But I have kept my mouth shut, I even extended an olive branch and offered for him to join Lucy and I on Saturday. It’s not what I wanted – but I know that I have to.

  The waitress returns with our food, placing it in front of us. I look down, thankful for the distraction, thankful for something to look at that isn’t him. I find myself wondering just how we got this way. How did we get from ‘I love you’ to ‘I can’t stand you’? And how was he the one who undid all of it?

  I pick at my fries, plopping them into my mouth one by one when he breaks the silence between us again.

  He’s never been one to be uncomfortable in silence before, but I guess he doesn’t know how to get out of the mess that he got us into.

  “Where are you working now?” he asks.

  I know that he means this as casual conversation, but it feels like a stab in the gut. It feels like he’s rubbing it in that I lost my dream job because of him, because of his plan and what he thought was for the best.

  “I’m back at my original place. Crosby Construction,” I say without looking at him, continuing to eat my fries one by one.

  “I guess that’s a breath of fresh air compared to what you dealt with at Windsor?”

  It really feels like he’s rubbing salt in the wound. Windsor was my dream. I loved the hustle and bustle, constantly being kept on my toes. I loved the part of never really knowing what I would be getting into when I stepped into work.

  My job now is predictable. Neil keeps his nose clean. He’s an easy client. I don’t hate my job, but I hate that I had a taste of what I really wanted, and it got taken from me so easily.

  “It’s a job,” I finally say, wanting to cut the conversation off.

  I don’t want to sit here and talk to him about work like everything is normal between us.

  Luckily enough, Oliver catches on that I’m not in the mood for conversation. We continue the rest of our meal in silence.

  When we’re done, the waitress appears again and I make sure to ask for separate checks, not giving him the chance to speak. As she walks away to retrieve them, Oliver speaks again, this time softly.

  “I could pay for it. It’s the least I could do, Cassidy.”

  I make sure he sees me roll my eyes before I put my sunglasses back on.

  “I’ve been fine without your money for three years, Oliver. I don’t need to start now.”

  It comes out incredibly snappy and I don’t feel bad about it.

  It does its job and shuts him the hell up, which is all I wanted.

  I pay for my meal before I break the silence this time.

  “I’ll text you the address and the time for the petting zoo on Saturday.”

  I see something behind his eyes when I speak, something akin to a glimpse of hope.

  A piece of me wonders if I’m being too harsh on him, but then I’m reminded of all the pain I’ve been through these last few years.

  “Alright. Thank you,” he says.

  I nod, “I’ll see you then.”

  With that, I stand and leave, thankful that Michael was waiting outside to pick me up. When I get outside, I breathe a sigh of relief. The fresh air is nice, I feel free. I feel so much better than I did inside of that building, looking at him.

  I can’t believe I did that.

  I get into the passenger’s side of Michael’s car, my heart pounding in my chest.

  “How did it go?” he asks, “Do I need to say something to him?”

  I shake my head, “No. It went as well as it could. I’m going to give him one chance to be involved in Lucy’s life. He better not blow it.”

  “His track record proves that he will.”

  I haven’t told my mom about Oliver being back yet. I know her automatic assumption is going to be that I’m eager to let him crawl back in. She has never been his biggest fan, and the time she gave him a chance, he royally messed it all up.

  But she’s going to find out sooner or later.

  After work, Michael promises that he’s going to go check on my car and see if it’s ready. He drops me off at my mom’s house to spend some time with her and I make a mental note to bake him some cookies of gratitude or something of that sort.

  I know that I’ll never be able to repay him for doing what he’s doing for me, acting as my own personal chauffeur, but I appreciate it so much.

  Stepping into my mom’s house, I’m flooded with memories from my past. It still hasn’t changed since I was a senior in high school. The same decorations, the same paint colors. I think she still uses the same candles.

  Lucy’s toys are scattered throughout the living room. She’s sitting in the middle of the floor, building with blocks. I think she’s trying to see if she can make a tower taller than herself, but she hasn’t yet figured out how to do that.

  My mom looks up from the couch, a smile on her face.

  “I hardly heard you come in.”

  “Sorry, I figured that you were busy.”

  “We’re just building.”

  “Michael went to check on my car, so I’m here for a bit.”

  My mom just nods, and I turn my attention to Lucy. I have to tell my mom what’s going on. I’ve always been open and honest with her.

  I reach out and take the controller off the arm of the couch, flipping it onto Lucy’s favorite channel. My mom looks up at me then, eyebrows raised.

  “Everything alright, Cass?”

  I shake my head.

  “Let’s go talk in the dining room.”

  After we both assure Lucy that we’ll be right back, my mom and I walk to the dining room and take a seat.

  She looks at me, eyes narrowed. “What’s up?”

  I search for the words to tell her without making it sound as huge as it is. I don’t know exactly what to tell her, but I have to get it out.

  “Oliver’s in town,” I just get it out. I put it into the universe and then watch my mother’s face change.

  It goes from the gentle understanding to one that’s mixed with confusion and anger.

  “Why?”

  “He wants to be in Lucy’s life now.”

  “After three years?”

  She’s as bitter as I am, and I feel justified. She knows exactly what it’s like to have to raise a child alone. She’s had years to process how it feels and her feelings toward my father and she’s still bitter. I always said that I didn’t want to be that way...but now I understand why she is.

  “That’s what I was thinking.”

  “So, he just skipped out
on all the late nights, the doctor visits, the birth, diaper changes, and so many other things and now he just pops up?”

  “That’s exactly what I said.”

  “I hope you told him to go fuck himself.”

  My mother hardly cusses so when she does, it’s clear how she feels. She spits the words with such bitterness and poison that it feels like it’s radiating through me. She looks at me, eyes narrowed, expecting.

  “I almost did.”

  “Almost?”

  “I told him he has one chance.”

  “For God’s sake, Cassidy. I thought I raised you better. You can’t keep letting him walk all over you! Because he’s going to do it every single time and—”

  “Mom, mom. Wait!”

  I hold a hand before she can start going on a tirade. I know that she will if given a chance.

  “I get where you’re coming from, but I gave him a chance to meet Lucy, to prove that he can step it up. Not to come back into my life like nothing ever happened. I’m not that dumb.”

  My mom sighs and narrows her eyes. Diana Hanson has this look that she does not agree. It’s one that doesn’t scream disappointment or anger, but it still makes you feel on the edge of your seat. It makes you feel like you’ve done or said something wrong – that’s the look that she’s giving me right now.

  “I never said that you were dumb, Cassidy. That’s the last thing I think of you, but I know what it’s like. Remember, I was there. Right now, you’re just letting him come around to see Lucy. You’re doing it for her, not yourself. But soon, he’s going to be staying late after Lucy goes to bed and the two of you will start to drink and feelings will get involved. It’s a slippery slope and I just want you to be careful.”

  Maybe it is a slippery slope, but I know where I stand. I know that I can’t allow Oliver to get under my skin anymore. I know now that he’s always going to disappoint me, but that doesn’t mean he’ll always disappoint Lucy.

  “Mom,” I sigh, “I never got the chance to meet my father. I appreciate everything you did for me growing up, but as a kid, I was always envious of other kids having dads around. I know that it was his choice to stay away, but I also know that you wouldn’t have deprived me of a chance for a relationship with him. I can raise Lucy without Oliver, not an issue, but I want to give them the opportunity to know one another. Is that so wrong?”