“It’s not like he’ll ever see it anyway. I’m not going to have sex with him.”
“I don’t know,” Kyle said, and he actually sounded unsure. “I hear he’s very persuasive.”
“He’s not going to persuade me,” I said confidently.
“He already persuaded you to go on a date with him,” Kyle countered, ignoring my insistence that it wasn’t a date.
The party was on Saturday evening, and it happened to be a night that Mom was working overtime. Connor was thrilled that I was going out, so I suspected that he would take full advantage of having the house to himself. Jake hadn’t been over at all since the night of the dance. I had gotten so used to him being around that I felt his absence. We saw each other at school, and he said hi to me, but that was all.
Kyle came over on Saturday to make sure that I actually wore the new clothes I had bought. I acted affronted that he didn’t trust me, even though I had been planning on wearing something comfortable. He insisted that I also put on the lipstick and leave my hair down.
“Where have you been hiding those?” He sounded mystified as he looked at my chest.
It was a combination of a bra that didn’t flatten my bust and a shirt that wasn’t two sizes too big. I barely recognized myself in the mirror as I stared at my reflection. The red top was a vivid color that I wasn’t used to wearing. Most of my clothes were blue, white, or black.
“I take it back. You don’t need the thong,” Kyle joked.
Connor stopped in his tracks and stared when he saw me. “Cam? Is that you?”
“Very funny,” I said.
“No, seriously. You look great! Wow. What a difference.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, taking offense.
“Have fun at the party. I have to go pick up Jen.” He made his escape out the front door.
“It means that you look fabulous darling.” Kyle made a run for the living room as I lunged at him.
We played a video game until Dylan arrived to pick me up. He looked like he could be the hot lead singer of some rock band. His brown hair had that carelessly mussed look as it grazed his shoulders. He had a lean but not too skinny body. Dylan was every bit as attractive as Jake, although he wasn’t as tall.
His dark eyes widened in surprise when he saw me, but he was too smooth to say anything about how different I looked. “Hey, Cameron. Ready to party? Hey, Kyle. How’s it going man?”
He earned points with me, both for knowing Kyle’s name and for treating him like he would any other guy. Kyle walked out with me, and I locked the front door before saying bye to him. Then Dylan drove me to Kayla’s party. He easily made small talk with me about what kind of music I liked. True, Kayla’s house turned out not to be too far away from mine, but Dylan still surprised me with how quickly he made me feel comfortable talking to him. Sure, I had never been shy around guys, but I also think that he was one of those rare people who were completely at ease with everyone.
It was a good thing that I wasn’t a shy person, because I got plenty of attention when we arrived at the party. The looks of shock on people’s faces when they realized who I was were almost funny. Unlike the looks of appreciation I received from other guys, Jake’s expression soured as his eyes swept over me. I hadn’t expected to see him at the party, and I was hurt by his reaction to my appearance.
He approached me later after Dylan excused himself to go to the bathroom. “You didn’t have to bother buying new clothes, Cam. Dylan only cares about getting you out of them.” He had a drink in his hand, and it wasn’t his first.
Despite my resolve to ignore him and have a good time, I had been watching him drink. “You’re wrong. He hasn’t even tried to make a move on me.” It was true. Dylan had surprised me yet again by not behaving the way his reputation had led me to believe he would.
“Yet,” Jake said and took another gulp of beer.
I was still on my first drink, because I wasn’t used to drinking. Jake slipped away as Dylan returned. He talked me into dancing with him, and I lost track of Jake. Even though everybody else was grinding, Dylan didn’t make contact with my body as he moved with me in a subtly sensual way. It was actually sexier than if he had been right up against me.
I started to fall under his seductive spell over the course of the evening. He never once said anything suggestive, but his intimate manner let me know that he was interested. We were at a crowded party, but he managed to make it seem like it was just the two of us with his attentive focus on me. The couch we were sitting on was like our own little island in a sea of people. When he casually leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t pull away.
If Jake had never kissed me, I would have thought that Dylan’s kiss was perfection. The boy knew how to kiss, that was for sure. I responded to him as he set all my hormones flooding through my body with his hot kiss. Yet there was something missing, and it worried me. I now understood what Kyle had meant when he said that your body can respond to the right stimulation, but the spark is missing.
When I broke off the kiss and pulled back, I noticed Jake standing nearby and watching us. His expression darkened even more when he saw me looking at him. He downed his drink and crushed the plastic cup in his hand before pushing his way through the crowd and toward the front door. I took off after him, leaving a startled Dylan behind.
I ran outside and yelled Jake’s name to make him stop and turn toward me. Then I jumped straight at him. The drinks he’d consumed had slowed his reflexes, so I was able to tackle him to the ground and land on top of him. He grunted with the impact, and his eyes opened wide in surprise as I groped at him.
“What the fuck?” He angrily pushed me off him, but I had already fished his car keys out of his pocket.
I was up in a flash and running toward his car, pressing the alarm to help me find it. Jake would have caught up to me faster with his long legs if he hadn’t been drunk. I made it into the car and snapped my seatbelt into place. He leaned in and tried to unbuckle it. “Get out!”
“You’re too drunk to drive,” I argued.
He hit his head on the roof of the car during the struggle. “Ow!”
Jake pulled his body back out of the car and rubbed his sore head. He glared at Dylan, who was standing beside the car and watching us with obvious amusement.
“Jake,” I yelled. “Get in the damn car!”
He stomped around to the passenger side and yanked the door open. Then he eased himself carefully onto the seat, wary of hitting his head again.
“Do you need any help?” Dylan asked.
“No thanks,” I said. “I’ve got this.”
“I was talking to Jake,” he said with his signature sexy laugh.
“Drive,” Jake growled.
“Bye, Cameron. It was a pleasure,” Dylan said as he shut the door for me.
Jake loudly slammed his door, and I drove away. He didn’t say a word until I pulled into my driveway and took his keys with me as I exited the car. He came charging out of the car as I unlocked the front door and rushed into the house.
“Damn it, Cam. Give me back my keys!” He was inside now, so I closed the door.
“You’re staying here tonight,” I said calmly. Then I turned and sprinted up the stairs.
I heard him swear as he followed me, and I prayed that he wouldn’t trip and fall. Fortunately, he made it up safely and caught up to me in the hallway. “I wanna go home.” Now he sounded like a little kid complaining.
“Tomorrow,” I said as I put my arm around his waist and walked him into my room. “You haven’t been here all week.”
“That’s because it’s killing me to be around you.” The sudden raw pain in his voice tugged at my heart.
“It’ll be okay,” I soothed. “Let’s get you comfortable.” I took a steadying breath and undid the button on his jeans before sliding the zipper down. I heard him inhale sharply, but I tried to remain brisk and efficient as I removed his jeans. He was sitting on my bed now, and I pulled the jeans th
e rest of the way off his legs. “Okay, go to sleep.”
He obediently lay down and closed his eyes. I turned my back to him and removed my own clothes, except for my panties, and put on my pajamas. When I turned around, Jake’s eyes were open and watching me in a way that made me catch my breath. Then he turned on his side, and I turned off the light and got into bed beside him. Everything was silent except for our soft breathing. Eventually, I began to drift slowly toward sleep.
“I love you, Cam,” Jake murmured.
My eyes flew open in the darkness, but he didn’t speak again. Within minutes, his steady, even breathing revealed that he was asleep. Slumber eluded me for a long time after as I was filled with a strange elation.
Chapter 10
Jake and I had gone to sleep with our backs turned to each other, but I woke the next morning with his body warm against my back and his arm draped over my waist. I didn’t know if he was awake yet, but a certain part of his anatomy sure was. With our bodies pressed so close together, I could definitely feel it.
Then I realized that the stupid buttons on my pajama top had popped open again. Only the bottom two buttons were holding it together, and my breasts were spilling out of it. I had meant to buy new pajamas when I went shopping, but I had forgotten about it in my annoyance at having to try on so many jeans. I made a move to button my top, but Jake’s hand lifted from my waist and covered my hand to stop me. There was no doubt now that he was awake. Heat spread through my body in anticipation of his touch as I dropped my hand to give him access.
“I just want to look at you,” he whispered in my ear, sending my temperature soaring even more.
After a couple more minutes, he pulled away from me and shifted his body to get off the bed. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and sat back down on the bed to put them on. We couldn’t really talk for fear of waking Mom, so Jake turned to take another lingering look at me before he eased the door open to step out into the hallway.
He shut it quietly behind him, and I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I unbuttoned the other two buttons on my pajama top and took off my pajamas. I got dressed and peeked out into the hallway. The door to the bathroom was open, so Jake must have gone downstairs. Connor’s bedroom door was closed, and he was probably still sleeping.
After I was done in the bathroom, I went downstairs and found Jake in the kitchen. We could speak in hushed voices down here. He asked me if I wanted him to make me something for breakfast.
“I’ll just throw some waffles in the toaster,” I said. “Do you want some too?”
“No thanks. I’m not hungry.” He took the waffles out of the freezer and popped them in the toaster for me.
“Hangover?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t drink that much.” He took a plate out of the cabinet for me. “I drank enough not to be okay to drive though. Thanks for stopping me.”
I grabbed the butter and syrup out of the fridge. “Yeah, I couldn’t let you take a chance like that.”
“I’m sorry about the way I acted last night, Cam. I had no right to say that to you.”
I had been about to sit down, but now I stood looking at the kitchen table. “Why not? If that’s how you feel...”
He set two glasses on the counter and turned to look at me. “I was being an idiot. That’s not really how I feel.” The waffles popped up from the toaster, and he picked up the plate and walked over to it.
“So, you don’t love me?”
He froze in the process of reaching for the waffles. “What?” His back was still turned to me as he spoke.
I walked over to look at him. “Last night you said that you love me.”
He was staring at the toaster instead of looking at me. “When? I don’t remember that.”
“It was right before you fell asleep. Is it true, Jake? Do you love me?” After he left my room, my mind had immediately returned to the last words he had spoken to me last night.
“I was drunk,” he said as he removed the waffles from the toaster.
I watched him set the plate down on the kitchen table for me. He asked me what I wanted to drink, and I chose milk with my waffles. He poured himself a glass of water and took a few gulps.
“I was talking about what I said to you at the party. It’s none of my business what you do with Dylan.” He picked up Connor’s car keys. “Where are my keys?”
“They’re still in my jeans pocket. You’re not leaving yet, are you?” The morning had started off so great, but I was disappointed with the way things were turning out.
“Yeah, I should get home. I didn’t even tell my parents that I was staying over. You go ahead and eat. I’ll go get the keys.”
“No,” I said. “I’ll get them. There’s no way to explain it if Mom sees you with your hand in my pants.”
Jake laughed, and I reached out to cover his mouth. “Shh! You’ll wake up Mom. Anyway, you know what I meant.”
At the touch of my hand, his laughter stopped. I dropped my hand, but I couldn’t look away from his suddenly heated gaze. He was the one who broke eye contact. “Do you mind getting my keys, Cam?”
With deepening disappointment, I left him standing in the kitchen and went upstairs to get his keys. He was worried about my breakfast getting cold, and he wanted to move Connor’s car by himself, but I insisted on helping him. I pulled back into the driveway after he backed his car out and took off down the street.
Feeling unusually lonely, I ate my breakfast by myself as I stared at Jake’s glass on the countertop. He had seemed intent on keeping me company until I had mentioned what he said to me last night. He hadn’t even remembered saying it, but he had been upset by it. His entire demeanor had changed when I had questioned him about it.
I didn’t understand his reaction, but I understood my own even less. Last night I had been inexplicably happy to hear him tell me that, and now I felt let down at hearing him say that it wasn’t true. Did I want him to be in love with me? If I was honest with myself, I had to admit that the thought appealed to me. The question now was why?
Connor walked into the kitchen and interrupted my thoughts. We said good morning to each other, and I toasted some waffles for him. I soon noticed that the atmosphere between us was wrong too. He seemed to be avoiding looking directly at me.
I waited until he had finished his breakfast. “What’s going on with you?”
“Not here.” He stood up and motioned for me to follow him. Then he stopped at the bottom of the stairs and listened. He was obviously trying to hear if Mom was up yet. Seemingly satisfied that she wasn’t, he led me toward the basement and down the steps.
I rarely ventured down here anymore, but I had often spied on Connor and Jake when we were kids. Connor went through a no girls allowed phase, and I had delighted in annoying him. I looked toward the bar, and I was reminded of something that happened when we were twelve.
My parents had never kept liquor down here, but they hadn’t bothered to remove the bar the previous owner had left behind. On this particular day, it was my hiding place for the prank I was about to pull on Connor and Jake. I laid in wait with several water balloons. Sure, I would get in trouble for throwing them in the house, but it would be worth it to piss off Connor. Jake was just an innocent bystander, but it was his fault for not having better taste in friends. Besides, he never held a grudge against me. Connor would get mad, but Jake would laugh about it.
I heard them coming down the steps and prepared to launch my attack, but I got distracted by their conversation. “You’re lying,” Jake said.
“No, I swear it’s true. I kissed Stephanie,” Connor insisted.
“On the lips?” Jake asked skeptically.
“Of course on the lips. It was, it was...” Words seemed to fail Connor. “It was good,” he finally finished. “You gotta try it.”
“With Stephanie?” Jake teased.
“No, get your own girl! Maybe Nicole or somebody. Who do you think is pretty?” Connor asked.
&nbs
p; “Cam,” Jake said.
“Cam? You mean my sister?” Connor’s voice was equal parts shock and horror.
“Yeah,” Jake confirmed. “She’s the prettiest girl.”
“Cam?” Connor laughed. “She doesn’t even look like a girl. The prettiest girl is Ashley.”
“Ashley has the prettiest hair,” Jake said.
“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “The prettiest girls are blonde.”
“No, not the color. I just like how long it is. There’s just something about long hair.”
My own hair was boyishly short. I had never before thought about how it looked. My only concern had been with keeping it out of my face while I played sports. It had been strange to hear Jake say that I was pretty.
I stayed hidden behind that bar until Jake and Connor decided to go outside. My legs fell asleep from sitting on the floor for so long, and I seriously had to go pee. I waited until Jake went home before I let loose on Connor with the water balloons. As weeks went by Mom was surprised when she noticed that I was growing out my hair.
I was stunned by the realization that I had grown my hair long because Jake had said that he liked long hair. Why had I cared about what he liked?
“Don’t look so shocked, Cam. Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out when I saw his car was here?” Connor asked now.
“What?” I had been lost in my memories and missed what he had been talking about.
“He had to sleep somewhere, and the only place I didn’t check was your room.” Connor was obviously upset about that.
“So what?” I challenged.
“So what? You told me that you’re not having sex with him.” His voice was hushed but angry.
“I’m not,” I said.
“C’mon, Cam. Do you expect me to believe that he spent all night in your bed, and nothing happened?”
I was pissed off now. “Excuse me, but how is this your business? Do I worry about what goes on in your room? Don’t try to play big brother with me, because we’re the same age.”
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