A Reason To Be: Book 1

by Maria Xystra

  “Ms. Davis. Always a pleasure.” I nod, trying to appear indifferent and pull my hand. He tightens his grip around it. “How are you today?”

  My ears start to burn and before fumes start coming out of them I decide to chill and play along.

  “Very well, thank you. And yourself?” For a minute there I thought I said, ‘very drunk, thank you’, but the lack of any reaction reassured me that I didn’t.

  “Not too bad, thanks.” His disarming smile does things to my body I’d rather not focus on right now. I break our handshake and gesture for him to have a seat. I do the same and carefully place my bottle in the middle of the table, along with the unopened ones, but keep mine, right in front of me.

  The meeting progresses in a slow and steady pace. I catch myself getting constantly distracted by the figure opposite me. Luke and Simon do their best to explain, clarify and answer Cole’s questions. They are both experts in their job, but Cole’s intimidating presence turns them into minions.

  The three of them monopolize the conversation and this serves me perfectly, being…in the state I’m in today. I add some remarks when needed, but I mainly tune out.

  The guy at the doorway simply stands and looks around. Maybe a bodyguard? Yeah, right. I doubt Cole needs a bodyguard. Maybe his driver? Or just one of his gang members. Yeap. That’s probably it. Paying more attention to his physique, I’m now sure of it. I wonder what his nickname is. ‘Wardrobe’, perhaps?

  “There’s one thing that needs to change in this contract.” Cole has us all hanging on the words coming up next. “I don’t want all these people meddling in my business. I do understand that departments like IT, Accounting and Risk Management need to be involved, but I have my own people dealing with these and that’s not changing. What I’m willing to settle with, is having one person from your firm supervising the different sectors.”

  “What exactly are you suggesting Mr. Theron?” Luke tries to clear the field.

  “What I’m saying is that I’m not going to have any of your people on my team. My department leaders will have to inform and answer to one person who will be responsible to gather up all the paperwork on the actions of the month and provide me with reports.”

  “But that’s too much responsibility for just one…” Luke starts and tries to shake some sense into him. What he’s asking is next to impossible. He will basically have one person from our company working solely for him.

  “It’s not that difficult, Luke. Besides, I’m sure Ms. Davis will thrive in that post.”

  All eyes on me. And back to Cole. And back to me. Even the ‘Wardrobe’ is staring at me. Daring me to refuse.

  “Are you out of your mind?” the words come out of my mouth bypassing the filter in my brain. Luke and Simon stare at me wide-eyed, not expecting this kind of outburst in front of the client.

  Cole smiles, a punch-inducing grin and reaches for a water bottle.

  As if in slow motion, I see him actually going out of his way to grab the bottle in front of me. My bottle. My vodka-filled bottle. Crap, crap, crap. And crap.

  He opens the lid and takes a big gulp of the content. Unconsciously, I bring my hand to my lips in an effort to contain my silent screaming. He swallows, raises his eyes to meet mine and I freeze. This is it. This is the part where he stands up, starts yelling, makes a fool out of me and I end up losing the deal and my job. Oh, dear God. Or maybe he will keep this as leverage to threaten me with whenever he gets the chance. From the little I know him I’d say both options are equally possible.

  He replaces the lid of the bottle and calmly sets it back on the table. I couldn’t miss the conspiratorial smile he gave me.

  How come this man always manages to corner me? Why do you let him?

  “What Ms. Davis meant to say, is that she would gladly take on that position,” Luke hurries to scratch my previous comment and shoots me a serious warning glance.

  “So…is that a yes?” Cole pushes and eyes me intensely.

  The truth is that it’s not really up to me to decide.

  It’s like going back to the balcony incident. I feel like a wild animal trapped and forced into someone else’s verdict. Only this time, there wasn’t a ‘don’t freak out’ warning.

  Arrangements like this don’t happen that often, but it’s a plausible scenario. After all, Luke is my boss and if he agrees to it, then it’s basically a done deal. I should really be crazy to turn down such an important offer. But still, the tiny bits of sweat over my eyebrows inform me that the reason I’m so hesitant is the person this whole situation revolves around: Cole. This means I will spend more time with him, I will get deeper into his business and he will get even deeper under my skin, forcefully snatching the leading role in my thoughts.

  Eventually, after a couple of millennia-feeling seconds, I decide to embrace this huge jump in my professional career and accept the assignment.

  Even though I agreed to it with a nod and a smile, Cole instantly picks up on my hesitation.

  “Don’t worry. Everything is gonna be managed by me as it has been so far, it’s just that now, you will help keep it all neat and tidy,” he tries to reassure me.

  “Excellent!” Luke can’t hide his excitement. “I’ll finalize this draft, adding the new settlement to the contract! We’ll let you know when it’s ready for signing!” and, giving Cole a brief handshake, he storms out of my office. Being a lawyer himself, he prefers preparing the firm’s contracts himself and will surely have a new version ready by the end of the day.

  Oh, Cole, what a wicked game you play. I quote the song lyrics stuck in my head.

  Simon gathers his files and leaves, too.

  I grab my bottle and get up from the table. Cole comes to stand beside me near the window.

  I nearly choke on the vodka when he puts a hand on my arm.

  “I’m sorry I dropped this on you like that.”

  “Are you?” I hurry to accuse him.

  He smiles, and I discreetly dismiss his touch.

  “What I don’t understand,” I set off, “is how you can trust me with something so important. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the opportunity to advance in my work, it’s just… you just don’t seem like a person who would put someone in charge of nearly everything if you don’t know them well enough.”

  “But I do know you well enough,” he sighs. “Tipsy, I don’t take any decisions lightly. I’ve studied your work and I’m pretty sure you’re capable of anything you set your mind to. And apart from the fact that I need someone like you, my guys seem to trust you. And, so do I.”

  “So where does that leave us? I mean our relationship status.”

  “Well, as far as they’re concerned, you’re my girlfriend,” he answers as-a-matter-of-factly. I turn to shoot him a malevolent look but with the corner of my eye I notice that someone else is in the office. Simon. Shoot.

  “Oooh!” His exaggerated exclamation drills holes right into my eyes. “Mr. Theron, I didn’t know you and Ms. Davis were an item! That’s great news!”

  “No, it’s not-” I start to explain but Cole cuts me halfway.

  “It’s not news we are interested in making public. Just yet.”

  I simply stare at him in disbelief.

  “Oh, I get it!” Simon eyes the ‘Wardrobe’ for a fracture of a second and then adds: “Not a word coming out of my mouth!” He mimics a zip closing over his lips.

  CHAPTER 10

  Blue jeans, high heels and an evening top, or a black dress, high heels and accessories? My killer sandals would be perfect with a dress, but they also look good with light-blue skinny jeans… But those jeans would need an elegant blouse to match the club’s ambience… Gotta call Sam. ‘Vault’ is one of the new ‘it’ places in town. Gotta unload the groceries. What do I want to eat? I don’t have any fancy accessories to put on with the black dress. That delicious chocolate bar is waiting for me in one of the shopping bags. God, too many thoughts Lex.

  Flushing the toilet, I tr
y to put my thoughts in order. Sam suggested- nope, she announced that since it’s Sunday night – hence drinks night – we’re going to ‘The Vault’. But not alone, the usual suspects will be joining us this time: Eric and Cole.

  Now that I’m working on this new project – I decided to call it ‘the ass-Cole project’ – I kind of have to visit all the bars and clubs Cole manages. Paperwork just isn’t enough when it comes to assessing profit and loss, so experiencing the venues first-hand is a must-do. Well, that’s my excuse anyway and I’m sticking to it!

  With hands still damp after washing them, I frantically search for the chocolate bar I’ve been thinking about since the moment I picked it up at the supermarket. Not this, not that, not that either. Aha! There it is. Love wrapped up in orange. Now that’s another issue. Instead of looking for food as I used to, now I’m constantly looking for chocolate. And we all know what that means. It’s been three weeks since I met him – ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ – and ever since, I can’t get my mind off of… intimate… steamy moments… well, sex.

  A few weeks ago I was perfectly fine. I had my life in a neat, flawlessly organized order. My job at the Consultants firm, a really limited circle of close friends, a ‘no intimate relationships, no trouble’ rule and regular, healthy eating habits. And then came Mr. Cole Theron to turn my beautiful routine upside down. He invaded my workplace, my friends’ circle, my thoughts, hell- I’ve even started considering intimate relationships! Even my eating preferences have been influenced by him! Someone likes this Mr. a lot! Oh, shut up, you silly conscience! You know nothing!

  Truth be told though, I’m really not comfortable with all these alterations. It’s unnerving and honestly, quite scary. I want to be ‘fine’ again. I want my ‘fine’ life back. But now that I’ve experienced a tiny sample of the ‘other side’, would ‘fine’ be enough? …Doubtful.

  With an exasperated sigh, I finish unloading all different kinds of sugar-filled snacks into a drawer. I will call it the ‘candy drawer’ and that’s where I’ll come whenever I feel the need to eat my lust away.

  The ‘candy drawer of sin’.

  *****

  Eric parks his car in the private lot next to the club and Sam finally turns her attention away from me. She’s been discreetly teasing me all the way here, pointing at Cole and asking me for input with her eyes. You know that funny eyebrow-pointing move? That one! Times twelve.

  I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about the latest developments with Cole and me working together, but she can surely sense my discomfort every time she puts me and him in the same sentence. Of course, she knows that I can’t really disclose anything to her at this particular moment, since we’re all riding in the same car, but being Sam, she wants to know things… yesterday! I fight the urge to ask her loudly if there’s something wrong with her eyes, mostly because I’m sure it’s going to backfire in my face and I’ll be the one left exposed.

  Eric opens Sam’s door, such a gentleman, Cole steps out of the car and smoothes out his clothes, such an ass. I get my purse and get ready to open my door as Cole sees Eric’s gesture and reaches for it on the outside. Yeah, right! I open the door with a strong push and it hits his body right there. Bull’s eye! He bends in half and I put my feet on the street grinning devilish.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Not! I slap the hand he offers to help me out of the car.

  “Are you OK?” I try to sound sincere, but my tone reflects my amusement.

  “Are you insane? Trying to emasculate me or something?” he manages to say over his efforts to pull himself together.

  “You ain’t seen nothing yet,” I whisper in his ear as I pass by him. Can’t hide my smirk, even if I wanted to.

  “Are you guys coming, or what?” Eric urges us towards the club.

  Cole straightens up and our group reaches the queue in front of The Vault.

  He leads the way, shaking hands with people outside the club, like a movie star showing up for his premiere. The only thing missing is the red carpet and an Armani suit. I’m sure he looks stunning in a suit and a tie – or just a tie! Fuck, Lex! Focus! Stop picturing him naked! He interrupts my thoughts by putting an arm around my waist, mimicking Sam and Eric’s embrace. Woah!

  At the entrance of the club, a tall, dark-skinned security guy lifts the rope to let us in.

  “Hey, man,” Cole shakes his hand.

  “Hey, Cole, Eric. How you doin’ man?” He makes brief small talk with them and I can easily imagine them playing basketball together. I like the fact that Cole has built a casual and friendly relationship with his employees. It is obvious though that all respect and authority belongs to him.

  “You OK man? You look like you’re in pain,” Eric starts teasing him as we head inside.

  “Nothing I can’t handle,” he replies casually and winks.

  The music reaches my ears in a rushed and invading manner. Loud, but pleasant and uplifting. I should say something about his club. The place, the music, the people, the ambience. I try to find the right words but his hand on my waist is distracting. Instead, as I open my mouth what comes out is this:

  “Are you planning on holding me like this for the rest of the night?” and of course, the music changes at that particular moment and it looks like I’m shouting at him. I scan around to see if anyone heard me and I find Sam and Eric grinning amused at us. The rest of the clubbers mind their own business – except from all the female population staring at us. It is impossible for them to have heard what I said, but they seem unable to draw their eyes away from Cole. Yes, we get it. He is a stud. No point denying that. They’re probably wondering who I am – or they are used to seeing him with a different woman every night and don’t even bother.

  He looks at me and he leans to say something in my ear.

  “Would you rather me holding you in a different way for the rest of the night, given that you’re my girlfriend and all?” his husky voice rings suggestively in my head sending shivers down my spine.

  As I catch myself ready to giggle shyly, it hits me: He is a player; and just like the first time we met at his bar, I feel like he’s made me his target for the night. I’ve met ‘friend-Cole’ and ‘businessman-Cole’ and even ‘fake boyfriend-Cole’, so is it now time to witness him as the ladies-man he apparently is? His mere words are an example of how he treats women with the purpose of seducing them. Already fostering a feeling of unease, his hand on my lower back sends me off the edge and the thought that he’s trying to play his game with me as the prize, simply causes me to flip out. I pull away from him and raise my eyebrows.

  “Pretending to be your girlfriend. And all.”

  “For now,” he comments with a wink.

  “Could you just cut it out?” I snap at him.

  “I could, but I won’t,” he states with such coolness I feel the urge to punch him.

  “What will it take for you to realize that I’m not into this?” I point out locking his gaze to show him I’m serious. Finally, after all the confrontations I manage to steal the upper hand from him. Taking advantage of his stunned expression since I caught him off guard, I continue.

  “I don’t know what your game is, or what you’re trying to do and to be honest I’m not interested in finding out. This,” and I point to myself and him, “is not going to happen; I’m not becoming your new toy.”

  After a long pause, he simply says: “I like you,” and he smiles broadly at me, unaffected by my declaration. “What’s your drink?”

  Seriously? He just ignores what I said? At this point I can say for sure: I really want to punch him. Hard.

  “Well, I don’t like you. And I’m having a vodka cranberry.” He obviously finds my attitude amusing since his stupid – completely disarming – grin doesn’t leave his face for a minute.

  “Maybe not yet but we still have time to work on that,” he replies with his over-confident look.

  “Don’t hold your breath. And I’ll get my own drink.”

  CHAPTER
11

  After a whole lot of pushing and shoving, I finally join Sam and Eric, who’ve settled on a spot at the central bar.

  “Were you having a lovers’ quarrel?” Sam starts messing with me again.

  “Not you too, Sam!” I plead.

  “What happened? Is his flirting not working for you?” she asks.

  I glance to the floor. “It is. That’s the problem,” I admit in defeat.

  “Aaaand why is that a problem?”

  “Mind if I steal her for a moment?” I ask Eric, but not really waiting for an answer, I grab Sam by the elbow and start dragging her away from the bar. “Ladies’ room?”

  “This way,” she says and leads me there.

  “Spill it,” Sam wastes no time as soon as the noise is blocked by the bathroom door. She goes straight to the mirror to check her makeup.

  I wait for the last occupant of the restroom to leave.

  “Do you know that dear Cole has specifically asked for me to be the one supervising his business?” Sam looks at me in wonder. “Yeah, he had us sign the contract with the demand that I’m the only one in charge of this project.”

  “Wow, that’s good for you isn’t it? But it doesn’t really answer my question; why is it a problem that he’s flirting with you?”

  “Cole equals trouble. And he’s already turned my life upside down, socially and work-wise.”

  “Am I missing something here?” she pauses for a second while applying her lipstick to cast me a sideways glance.

  “You’re missing the point, Sam.”

  “Do you like him?”

  “I don’t know-”

  “You can’t hide from me, you know,” she turns to me frustrated. “Look, we’ve been friends long enough for me to know when you really like someone. If you weren’t interested, you’d be over and done with him by now.”