Beach Reads Box Set

by Madden-Mills, Ilsa

  “Sorry.”

  “I loved watching you dance. It was…” he swallowed, “it was good.”

  “Good?”

  “For lack of a better word. I’m sleep deprived, remember?”

  I kissed his chest and pulled away. “Room’s all yours.”

  He pulled me back and kissed me soundly. “Sit tight for a bit, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Seconds later his breathing deepened and for a solid day, he slept.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Koti

  I greeted my new renters with a smile as they exited the cab both wrinkled and exhausted from a day of travel.

  The husband pulled the sleeping little boy from his car seat as he roused wrapping his chubby arms around his father’s neck. “Come on, buddy.”

  The baby glanced around, his beautiful green eyes meeting mine before he buried his head into his father’s neck. “Come on, Noble, can you say hi to the lady?”

  I waved at him and he giggled as his father extended a hand. “You must be Koti, nice to meet you. I’m Cameron and this is my wife, Abbie.”

  Abbie greeted me with a warm smile. “Nice to meet you. Wow, this place is truly beautiful.”

  “I’m hoping the surprise was a good one?” I’d been planning the trip with her husband for the past few weeks.

  “I still can’t believe he pulled this off,” she said, glancing back at her family with love-soaked eyes. “We, uh, didn’t really get to have a honeymoon. I got sick on our first try.”

  “Morning sickness?”

  “Yes, it’s the worst. Do you have children?”

  “No,” I said, staring at their beautiful little boy who wore a T-shirt that read Woo King.

  “No kids yet, someday?”

  Someday?

  “Well, my little man was definitely worth it,” Abbie said, kissing his hand before she scoured the rental with a smile.

  Pangs of envy hit in that moment as Cameron leaned in and kissed his son on the forehead. “Ready to go swimming, buddy?”

  He nodded and nestled further into his father’s arms.

  Realization struck, even with all the families I’d checked into rentals over the past year, it was the first time in my life I wished for a family of my own. My own baby boy with eyes the color of his father’s.

  Shocked at my personal admission, I walked the beautiful family through their beach house. Abbie ambled with me as Cameron chased Noble through the expansive living room. “Noble, stop. Don’t touch that, buddy. Why you little…” he picked the baby up easily and tossed him up over his head, catching him as he squealed. “Gain, Dada, gain!”

  Abbie took a step out onto the long back porch where she was met with the sight of thousands of miles of expansive ocean.

  “You can get to the beach from the first level,” I said as she looked back at her husband with utter love. Abbie’s excitement was infectious. “This is incredible, baby!” She yelled to Cameron who answered back with a pride-filled grin. “Happy you love it, babe.”

  I chimed in. “You won’t get used to the view and that’s a good thing.”

  “I just can’t believe we’re here,” she smiled. “I didn’t realize how much we needed this.”

  “You’ll be a new woman by the time you leave. Cameron’s scheduled a massage for you in a few hours, there is a week’s worth of groceries in the fridge. He’s also opted for concierge service and a driver for the length of your stay. My number is in the book on the table.” Abbie stood, eyes glistening, her smile growing with every word I spoke.

  “Happy?”

  “Ecstatic.”

  “Awesome. There are two keys to the house on the foyer table. And please don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.”

  Cameron joined us standing by Abbie’s side with a newly animated little boy wiggling in his arms.

  “Thank you so much, Koti, I couldn’t have pulled this off without you.”

  “You’re welcome and welcome to St. Thomas.”

  I left the smiling family with a new kind of ache in my chest. I was just about to head back to the office when Jasmine called.

  “Hey buddy, did you get the Bledsoe’s checked in?”

  “Yep, all set.”

  “We’re done for the day if you want to knock off.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked with a smile.

  “Yes girl, go play with Ian. But just keep your phone on for calls. I have a date tonight.”

  “Really? With who?”

  She paused. “Jasmine, with who?”

  “Toby. Am I crazy?”

  “Of course not, I kind of figured that was going to happen.”

  “Really, you see us together? He’s so…”

  “Bold? Confident? Perfect for you?”

  “If you thought that, why didn’t you say something?”

  “I wanted you two to figure it out for yourselves.”

  I pulled up to a stoplight where a Jeep, the same style as mine waited with me. I glanced over to see I had the attention of the passengers, a group of teenage guys.

  “Let’s just hope he doesn’t come out in an apron or want me to R. Kelly his ass.”

  “What?”

  “Pee on him or some freaky shit.”

  The guys burst into laughter as I hung my head. “You just embarrassed me at a stoplight,” I hissed as I smashed onto the gas the minute the light changed.

  It was all I remembered aside from the crunch of metal.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Ian

  Ignoring my phone, I ran through my list of lectures and made notes. Looking around the expansive beach house, I basked in the serenity of Koti’s bubble. As soon as she got home, I was going to cook her my favorite meal and spend the night making her moan. I wasn’t taking a single fucking minute of our time together for granted. After making sure I had everything I needed I glanced at the clock. She would be home any minute. Warmth spread as I thought of the way she’d woken me up that morning, her lips wrapped around my cock before she lifted herself to sink on top of me. We didn’t utter a word, just reveled in the connection as I pulled her to me so we were chest to chest, hearts pounding as she slowly rode me until we had no choice but to break the silence with words of praise.

  There was something to be said about the sex we had, but the connection we shared was what made it so fucking incredible. Koti was a safe haven, and I drank with greed from her never-ending fountain of beauty and warmth. There was always an understanding in her eyes, kindness of her words. Our relationship was effortless, she was a relatable friend and an incredible lover. She gave and gave, and I took without hesitation because even though at the heart of it, I felt selfish, I felt like she too was thriving on letting me have my way. Anything else would have been unacceptable, I knew that I cared too much about her to hurt her. If I felt for one second over the last month we shared that she had suffered in any way, I wouldn’t have returned to St. Thomas. There was no benefit in making her confess she needed me the night before, but my desire to know if the feeling was mutual was too much.

  Because I needed her too, and as dangerous as it was to get that admission, I didn’t feel so alone in my ache and maybe, just maybe, my confession that I needed her the same would be enough for us for the moment.

  My phone vibrated again, and I picked it up to see a local area code.

  “Hello.”

  “Ian, it’s Jasmine.”

  My heart sank as every nerve in my body fired. “No, oh fuck, is she all right?”

  “She’s been in an accident. Some asshole t-boned her at a light but thankfully he wasn’t going that fast. She’s got a rash from the airbag, but she’s okay. I’m bringing her home now. She just didn’t want you to worry.”

  “Why didn’t she call me?”

  The silence confirmed my worst fear. “She had an attack?”

  “Yes,” Jasmine confirmed with a whisper, “and it was nasty. They gave her some meds and she’s a little loopy.”
/>
  “Okay.”

  “Just don’t walk on eggshells, okay, or she’ll know I told you.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Ian, at some point you aren’t going to be there, right?”

  Pressing my lips together I tried to push away the burn in my chest. “Right.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  On the defensive but feeling like a bastard, I answered. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “But you’re going to. And if I’m being honest, I think you already are.”

  * * *

  Pacing the floor, I let out a sigh of relief when the front door opened. Koti appeared with a small red rash on the side of her nose and a larger stretch of it covering her chin.

  “So today sucked,” she said with a laugh. “I’m slightly medicated.”

  In an instant, she was in my arms. “I’m so sorry.” I pulled away.

  “I’m totally fine. Airbags fucking hurt though just so you know, stay as far away from the wheel when you drive as you possibly can. I feel like I got punched by a heavyweight.”

  “That bad?”

  “Not on Vicodin and Xanax,” she said with a laugh. “I’m feeling pretty damn loose, professor, tonight might be a good time to experiment.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Look at you, rolling your eyes. I do remember you grounding your daughter for that.”

  “Are you okay, really?”

  She paused when she read my expression. “She told you, didn’t she? That asshole.”

  “Why can’t I know?”

  “Why should you know?” She ran her hands through her longer blonde hair. She’d been growing it out since I’d arrived at the island. I hadn’t told her, but I loved it that length. I hadn’t told her I loved a lot of things. “Because I’m the man waiting for you, that’s why.”

  Ignoring me, she took a seat on the barstool by the island. “You’re cooking for me?”

  Her smile was forced, but I went with it.

  “Yeah, I wanted to surprise you with my favorite dish from when I was a boy.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s called Boboties. It’s spiced meat with egg custard and topped with raisins.”

  “That sounds… interesting. Let’s do this, I’m starving. All I’ve had to eat today was flying metal with a side of glass soup.”

  I frowned at her indifference, feeling her rattle with nerves across from me. “Not funny.”

  She held up her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart in front of her. “A little bit funny. My Jeep is totaled, well, my parents’ Jeep. I don’t even own a car, how am I going to have a baby?”

  I froze the workings of my hands and faced her. “You’re pregnant?”

  She must have realized her slip. “No. God, Ian, no. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she waved her hand like any drugged person would.

  “Why are you talking about a baby then?”

  “I just, in the future if I wanted to have a baby, I don’t even own a car. I’m too poor to be a mother. Never mind, I’m rambling.”

  I pressed for more information, high on pills or not, I had to know.

  “Are you thinking about a family?”

  “I just saw the cutest little boy ever and it made my ovaries ache, that’s all. Don’t get weird.”

  “I’m not being weird, you’re being weird.”

  “I’m high, what’s your excuse? And why aren’t you cooking, crocky? I’m starving!”

  “On it, your highness.”

  A beat of silence passed. “He was beautiful though—the baby, Noble—he was perfect. Shy, and just so… they were happy, you know, it wasn’t forced or fake, you could see how happy they were.”

  I began slicing some onion. “It’s okay to want a family, Koti.”

  She laughed without an ounce of humor. “Yeah, uh, I’d be a great mom. ‘Hold on honey, mommy’s having an anxiety attack in the pantry because I can’t handle making a hundred cupcakes for your class tomorrow.’” She spun on the stool animatedly delivering her own self-deprecating blows as my chest cracked for her.

  “Thousands of people with anxiety have children, stop it.”

  “I full-on had a meltdown because I wasn’t sure if God existed today. Do you think it’s okay to subject your child to that?”

  I set the oven temperature and leaned over the counter. “You were in a car accident, it’s okay to feel—however the hell you want to feel—after something like that happens. Stop hurting yourself with lies.”

  Imploring eyes sought mine. “Are you afraid to die, Ian?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s a part of life I accepted when I was a soldier and I grew immune to death, as tragic as that sounds.”

  “Where did they go, Ian? When your friends died, where did they go?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then how are you not afraid?”

  “Because if it’s nothingness then we aren’t aware of it and if God exists, we have to assume it’s a place far better than the one we’re standing in. Those are the two options, right?”

  “Guess so. Well… there’s hellfire and damnation for being faithless.”

  “See, I’m of the belief that if there is a creator so divine, he wouldn’t have the capacity to be so cruel to those he created.”

  “That’s comforting.”

  “Good, then take comfort you’ll either be blissfully in paradise or completely unaware you no longer exist.”

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “I’m sorry that it is for me.”

  Her face twisted to mask the sob she was holding. “I’m not sorry for you. I’m happy you aren’t afraid. You’re so smart.”

  “As are you.”

  “And still so polite,” she said as tears made their way down her cheeks.

  “I have to believe there is a place for us because I want there to be for my daughter.”

  Koti nodded, “I understand. I want that for her too.”

  “And I want it for you,” I told her truthfully.

  “Thank you.”

  I moved around and gripped her shoulders. “Koti.”

  “Yes, Ian?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “No,” she sniffed, more tears budding in her eyes. “I’m not okay. That scared the shit out of me.”

  “I know, so let me put my tea down and be responsible for you, just for tonight, okay?”

  “Coffee,” she corrected as her voice cracked.

  “Coffee,” I whispered.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Ian

  Three weeks later…

  I whispered through a halo of blonde hair. “Hey, beautiful, wake-up.”

  “I should probably tell you those are fighting words.”

  I chuckled and kissed her until she roused from sleep.

  “Would you please let me recover? Surely there’s no skin on your penis after that last round.”

  This time I couldn’t help my laughter as I gathered her to me and lifted her from the bed.

  “Ian,” she sighed, kissing my neck and wrapping her legs around my waist. “I can appreciate how sexually starved you must have been after going without, trust me, I love sleeping with you.” I made my way down the porch steps and onto the sand. “Sex with you is my favorite hobby, but there are necessities that need priority as well. Wine, s’mores, and sleep.”

  Setting her on the beach, I smiled down at her and turned her to face the ocean. “Shut your drivel, woman, and look.”

  Her grin disappeared as her mouth parted. “Oh, my god!”

  She sank into my frame as we stared at a moonlit sky. The islands below easily seen due to the sheer size of it. Thousands of stars littered the sky leaving us momentarily speechless.

  “My God, now this is a good excuse to wake a girl up.”

  “I thought you would appreciate it.”

  “I used to be such a huge fan of the
stars,” she sighed. “So much mystery. I believed all that hoopla about mythology until my science teacher told me they were balls of fire. It was kind of like finding out Santa wasn’t real.”

  “Sucked the magic right out of it?”

  “Exactly. Like why can’t we leave certain things a mystery?”

  “Some would argue that those balls of fire in relation to where we stand are important.”

  “I don’t want to know if some asteroid is coming for me.”

  “You’re safe tonight.”

  “I feel safe.” My stomach dropped as she settled further into me and I reveled in the feel of her warm skin.

  She turned in my arms more beautiful than anything I’d ever seen in my thirty-eight years.

  “This is wildly romantic, Kemp. Are you feeling okay?”

  “Got a little moonstruck is all. I remember skies like this when we camped after a safari in South Africa.”

  “I can’t imagine how amazing that was. Growing up there must have been incredible.”

  “I’ll be a Saffa till I die. I can’t believe my parents moved us to Texas. I’m still pissed.”

  We both laughed.

  “That’s the way it is, right? You think you’ll end up one place and you end up on a different planet.”

  With both hands, I pushed the hair away from her face. “I loved this planet.”

  Even with the white noise of the waves, I was sure she could hear me swallow.

  Her eyes watered as she looked at me for the truth. “This is an asteroid, isn’t it?”

  She searched my eyes before she hung her head. “When do you leave?”

  I choked on the answer. “Tomorrow afternoon.”

  She turned in my arms again to face the sky, seconds later I felt one of her tears fall on my hand as the rest of me shattered with the weight of it.

  “I understand why you didn’t tell me. I’m not angry.”

  “I want to stay. If that makes any difference at all.”