He's My Associate

by Cay Harrington

  “Go on,” Ryan urged, quiet, eyes bright.

  Cooper tore until he reached a simple cardboard box. He glanced up, saw Ryan’s reassuring little nod and lifted the top off.

  It was a gem he’d seen before. A small sapphire, almost two hundred years old. But it was in a setting and made into a necklace of black twine. He couldn’t look away from the thing.

  “This is…this was my grandmother’s.”

  Ryan placed a hand on Cooper’s elbow. “Your mother told me.”

  The gesture was too much. It meant too much.

  “That’s where she whisked you off to, then?”

  Ryan nodded. “I picked the setting. I thought you’d appreciate the silver.” Cooper blinked. Blinked again. His throat felt suddenly too narrow. “Though I almost picked you out a lovely string of pearls, but your mother talked me down. You can blame her for that.”

  The laugh that left him then sounded empty.

  Ryan shrugged easily. “Besides, you could get away with this at the office.”

  The gem had been in their family on his mother’s side for centuries. That Cat gave it to Ryan…it said everything that could be said. That Ryan was willingly gifting it to Cooper now—it was a promise. Cooper knew it was a promise. Ryan could joke about fake kids all day, but this, this he knew Ryan had the tact to understand would be too far to go along with.

  “Ryan, you know what this means, right?”

  “Yes.”

  And damn if he didn’t sound all in.

  Behind them, Cooper heard voices being raised, but not unkindly. There was laughter, too.

  Cooper licked his lips, they felt too dry. When he dragged his eyes back to Ryan’s he was smiling so soft, Cooper couldn’t think to respond with anything other than:

  “I love you,” Cooper breathed.

  A few things happened all at once.

  Ryan blinked. His hand dropped. But he was smiling too—however shaken the expression suddenly seemed to appear, and the panic inside Cooper began warring with his hope.

  Joseph shouted, the laughter dropping instantly.

  Cat barked back, “Good, since we’re getting divorced anyway!”

  Malcolm said, “Oh, God.”

  And, last but not least, Gloria’s voice above them all:

  “What the fuck is this!” Which was immediately followed by a telling thump on the hardwood flooring.

  Cooper and Ryan turned to see, and it was Ryan’s bursting laughter that filtered through first.

  Cooper saw his mother’s vicious smile, his father’s beat-red face. Saw Malcolm’s sheepish shrug as he looked away.

  And, finally, Cooper took in the vibrating blue dildo that had fallen to the ground at Gloria’s feet, its gift wrap in a wilting crumple beside it.

  Dinner went cold, left for the few who picked at the remains. Malcolm, Ryan and Cooper held back while Cat lingered, drinking a large glass of wine. Gloria was out front smoking, and Joseph had gone to bed.

  The dildo sat on the dinner table, no longer vibrating but nevertheless still quite the center piece.

  “Mom?”

  Cat waved at him. “Yes, it’s true.”

  “No, I just,” Cooper managed. “Are you alright?”

  “It’s for the best. I’m tired of telling myself it can work.”

  Cooper couldn’t agree more. He knew his mother would be okay.

  At the table, Malcolm pulled apart a piece of bread, buttered it and stuck it in his mouth, eyebrows set low.

  “You gonna be okay?” Ryan asked him, arms crossed.

  The question snapped Malcolm out of whatever trance he’d been in. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been wondering when it would happen. Guess I’m not the only fuck up in the family anymore, right?”

  Ryan snorted.

  Cooper said, “Hey, remember I was first. I got you beat.” He shouldered Malcolm up and into a hug.

  Ryan looked too serious for his own good, the night feeling decidedly over, so Cooper went to hug his mother goodnight before they headed out.

  Gloria puffed on the cigarette she held as they closed the door behind them. She nodded to them in turn before eyeing her son.

  “Ryan,” she said. “I know you’ll do well.”

  Cooper took a step further into the cool night air. He looked between them both, sensing the obvious charge between them. He didn’t know what she meant, but Ryan seemed to know exactly.

  “Thank you,” Ryan finally muttered, not unkind.

  Gloria nodded and breathed out a waft of smoke. “Merry Christmas, boys.”

  Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets and went ahead of Cooper. He walked with purpose enough Cooper knew they were about to have a conversation.

  They needed to talk.

  Ryan shoved his jacket to the bed. Put his hands on his hips and started pacing.

  “Ryan.”

  He ignored Cooper.

  “Ryan, it’s okay if you don’t say it back.”

  Ryan halted midstep, catching himself. He strode to Cooper and kissed him, hard, fingers flying to Cooper’s neck. And though he never deepened the kiss, it felt urgent, needed, profound. Cooper wrapped his arms around Ryan and held him as tight as he dared.

  He walked them back until Ryan’s knees hit the edge of the mattress, letting him tumble down onto his back. He grunted with the impact but started undoing his fly all the same. He was going too fast. Rushed in the purpose of it all.

  Cooper followed him down, straddling him. He grabbed at Ryan’s wrists and pinned them easily at either side of his head. Ryan rolled his eyes but allowed it, not arguing for once. Cooper let himself relax, letting his weight rest atop Ryan.

  “You’re crushing me.”

  “You like it.”

  “You like me,” Ryan snipped. Then, eyes going wide, “You love me.”

  It sounded like a question. Cooper held his eyes and nodded, yes.

  “I don’t need to say it back?” Ryan asked, a proper question this time. It was breathed out, shaky in the middle. “Not yet?”

  “’Course not. I just want you to know.”

  Cooper could see the bob of Ryan’s throat as he swallowed hard. He cleared his throat and bucked his hips.

  “Well, stop waxing poetic and put those lips to good use.”

  Cooper laughed, feeling lighter than he had in weeks in spite of the events of the evening. Despite everything he felt more at home than he had in a long while, and he knew it had nothing to do with their holiday, and everything to do with Ryan beneath him; Ryan’s thundering heart, his twitching hands, the flush high on his cheeks and ears.

  Cooper didn’t need to hear Ryan say it yet. He knew it would come in its own time.

  “I have a better idea,” Cooper murmured and Ryan cocked a brow up at him.

  Later, Cooper sunk down in Ryan’s lap, Ryan’s hands digging hard at his waist. Ryan rolled his hips up to meet every languid roll of Cooper’s above him and moaned loudly, uncaring of who heard.

  Cooper rode him, trailed his hands all down Ryan’s lean chest and ribs, down to his navel. He took his own cock in hand until Ryan batted his hands away to take over. It wasn’t long before he took Cooper apart, and Ryan himself wasn’t too far behind him.

  They curled up in each other’s arms after, Ryan burying his cold nose against Cooper’s neck as he effectively burrowed into him. Cooper felt himself dozing, feeling content and happy and whole.

  “Merry Christmas,” Ryan whispered after Cooper began to slip away to sleep. Then, even more quietly, “Love you.”

  Cooper smiled, pretending he hadn’t heard.

  But maybe he pulled Ryan a little closer.

  10

  Ryan wasn’t beside him when Cooper woke on Christmas morning. The right side of the bed was all rumpled sheets cool to the touch as he stretched an arm over them. A sound of disappointment lodged in the back of his throat and that’s when he heard mild laughter.

  “Calm down. I’m right here.”

  Then Ryan was
there, hovering into view with a mug of coffee in hand, eyes pale and soft in the morning light. Cooper smiled up at him, happy, feeling loved.

  “Happy Christmas,” Ryan murmured. He leaned forward and gave Cooper a kiss to the mouth, the cheek, the forehead. He drew back and cleared his throat. “I wanted to let you sleep in a little. There’s, uh. I have something to tell you.”

  Cooper felt around for Ryan’s hands and grabbed them, cradling them on his chest. He knew it wasn’t bad news, nothing like it. Ryan was far too cheerful, in his own way, that Cooper knew it couldn’t be anything worse than maybe a misplaced sock.

  But then Ryan hesitated and something about the way he lowered his eyes from Cooper’s face, the way his mouth twisted, sent a spike of fear through him. Had to remind himself he knew Ryan’s bad moods probably better than his good ones.

  This wasn’t a bad something. Couldn’t be.

  “I’m sure you didn’t miss my mother’s little message to me as we were heading out last night,” Ryan said.

  “Yeah?”

  Cooper had been caught up in the news of his parents’ (finally) divorcing. He still felt some amount of relief at the idea, but knew it wouldn’t be so clear cut and easy once emotions settled. And with their family, emotions never settled for long.

  “I got a call yesterday. She had her lawyers render my father’s will null and void. And,” Ryan said, licking his lips, “she signed over the company to me. I’m now the sole owner of the firm.”

  Cooper swallowed. Did it again. He touched Ryan’s face to make him meet his eyes and when he did, Cooper saw fresh tears there. He dragged Ryan forward on a gasp and let him know, without a doubt, how proud he was.

  “You deserve it,” Cooper murmured to him, choked up on too many things he wanted to say. Things he needed to get out. But not right now. Most could wait. Most, but one. “I love you, Ryan. You’re going to kick ass.”

  Ryan grinned into the next kiss. “I fully expect an invoice from you for all the work you’ve done to my apartment.”

  Cooper laughed. “I wouldn’t dare, you’ll adjust for inflation.”

  Ryan set his coffee down and climbed over Cooper, settling on the other side of the bed. He draped an arm over Cooper’s chest and sent him a wicked look.

  “What? You’re not going to let me spend my new money on you?”

  Squeezing Ryan’s hand, he said, “How about a compromise?”

  “What do you propose?”

  The way Ryan looked at him, Cooper couldn’t describe it. It was the same look he’d often given Cooper just after they won a case. The same look he gave Cooper when they first kissed. The same look from the elevator, and the office, and over Thanksgiving…and now—

  Cooper cleared his throat and squeezed Ryan close.

  “I need to know something first,” Cooper whispered, not trusting his voice. “This means…the will.”

  Ryan’s brows wavered.

  “Does this mean it’s over?”

  There was the creak of wood outside, and a whip of wind. Cooper held his breath.

  “We may have started all of this out on a lie, Cooper,” Ryan said, soft, “but it’s been different almost since the start. What you mean…How I feel about you?” He shook his head. “There’s no going back for me. If you’ll have me.”

  “Are you asking me to for-real marry you?” Cooper asked him, too elated and teary to keep the joke from slipping out. He raised Ryan’s knuckles to his beard, enjoying the flush it brought to Ryan’s cheeks.

  But Ryan wasn’t laughing.

  “What—what if I am?”

  Cooper blinked, too startled for words.

  Cooper already knew his answer.

  So he let a tear or two fall, let them wick away into his beard as he kissed Ryan’s knuckles, his palms.

  “At least take me out to dinner first.”

  Ryan pursed his lips, relief bursting from him in a shocked, trembling laugh. He promised dinner and more.

  They’d been sitting in the foyer of the main cabin for an hour, waiting for information on their ski trip. Cat had driven into town with Gloria to check with the main hotel lobby, and pick up another round of groceries. Ryan stood beside him, hands in his pockets, eyes on the floor.

  “I’m afraid I might fall asleep standing up,” he complained tiredly.

  “Well we didn’t get much sleep last night, after all,” Cooper reminded him with a nudge of an elbow. Ryan raised an eyebrow.

  Malcolm sighed from where he sat on his favorite spot on the couch. “Disgusting.”

  “You’re just mad because you’re not getting any,” Ryan replied, no bite to the words.

  Cooper’s eyes went wide, waiting for the inevitable fallout.

  Malcolm just narrowed his eyes. “You’re not my type, Ryebread.”

  Ryan pretended to be offended. “Ooh, haven’t heard that one since last holiday! Scathing.”

  “I try,” Malcolm said, chuckling low. “Asshole.”

  “Dick.”

  “Menace.”

  “Nerd.”

  “That’s just a low blow, pissant.”

  “Hmm, you’re getting worse. Or better, I can’t tell.”

  Their banter petered off into laughter.

  Cooper didn’t realize Ryan and his brother had such a rapport with one another. He was happy for all of a moment before Joseph made an appearance. He stomped down the stairs and went directly into the kitchen.

  He opened the fridge, glared and slammed it shut.

  Cooper knew exactly what he’d been hoping to find and felt his stomach sink to his knees.

  “Let’s go to the city or something instead,” Cooper said, turning to Ryan. He lowered his voice as Ryan leaned in close. “He’s looking for a drink and I’m sure as shit not going to be here when he doesn’t find one.”

  Ryan’s eyes flicked between Cooper’s and to where Joseph had taken up a rising grumbling. His hand found Cooper’s arm and squeezed, smoothing down to his elbow. He nodded and that’s all Cooper needed to start for the door.

  “You two,” Joseph barked. “Where are you heading? We’ve got Eaglecrest.”

  Cooper debated. He could turn and answer or he could leave, and risk another ruined holiday.

  He turned around and Joseph was just there. Too close. He took a step backward automatically.

  “We’re not really feeling in the mood to ski,” Cooper told him.

  “You in the mood for fucking around though right?”

  An all too familiar stone formed in his throat as he tried to swallow past it. He stepped more fully in front of Ryan.

  “Heard you got a promotion, kid,” Joseph aimed over Cooper’s shoulder. “Guess you don’t have to put up with my shit of a son anymore, huh?”

  “What are you implying?” came Ryan’s don’t fuck with me or I’ll fire you voice. Cooper stood, rigid.

  “You two. Knew there was something weird about it. Last time. From Thanksgiving. Looking like you could stab each other, the next minute you’re in bed.”

  “Stop—” Cooper tried.

  “Fucking stinks of—”

  “Dad!” came Malcolm’s shout. Cooper saw him stand from the corner of his eye. He hovered, tense and waiting. They all were. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Distantly, Cooper heard the sound of a car door shutting. Laughter and voices drifting up the steps into the cabin.

  Joseph glared at his youngest son. “Shoulda got rid of you too, welp—”

  Cooper could kill him. “Don’t you say that to him—”

  “I heard you,” Joseph blustered on, waving an arm. “This morning.”

  Cooper blinked. Joseph stumbled back, looking livid. Cooper had shoved him back a few steps.

  And then Joseph was on him.

  A door opened and then there was screaming. Sounds everywhere. Hands and arms. They grabbed at him, tried to pry father and son apart. Joseph launched a fist upward and Cooper’s head snapped back on the hardwood floor. Coope
r kicked out, and Joseph fell off to the side.

  It was Malcolm that strong-armed Joseph to stay where he lay. He huffed and groaned and swore and shouted and spit and Cooper could only try and catch his breath. Cat was there, and Ryan, feeling at his face and checking him over.

  Cooper fixed wild eyes on Ryan, who wasn’t blurry above him so much as shaking. Trembling. All angry eyes above a bloody nose.

  “Welcome to the family,” Cooper rushed out, laughing for a wild moment. And it was worth the lunacy of it, to see Ryan smile down at him in reply, as exasperated as it seemed.

  “You’re frauds! You both lied!” Joseph cried. “For the damn will—”

  He heard a groan and then Gloria’s loud voice cutting above it all.

  “Say another word in regard to my son or yours, and I will make one call and have you in prison by the end of the day.”

  Cooper sat up, to the anxious mumbling of his mother. She kept saying something about knowing where Joseph went last night, again and again. An alcohol run.

  “We’re flying out today,” she snapped, voice clipped. She held Cooper’s head to her chest until he managed to gently remove himself. “We’re done.”

  And, looking from Ryan, to his mother, to where his father cried drunkenly on the floor—and finally up to Gloria who held his gaze like she knew, and didn’t care, didn’t care about any of it anymore. She only nodded, and it was such a simple thing, nodding. But it made Cooper feel like things would be okay, were okay, and that’s what gave him him the strength to stand.

  Fucking right, we’re done, he thought, and reached out to take Ryan’s hand.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Cat asked him for the tenth time.

  “It’ll just bruise,” Cooper insisted. “I’ve had worse.”

  They were in the men’s bathroom of the airport. Cat had followed them right in, too concerned with the state of them both to worry about any concerned member of airport security.

  They’d already checked their bags and Gloria was outside making phone calls. She’d offered to send a handler for Joseph.

  Cooper had asked her, somewhere warily, if that meant she was ordering a hit on his father.

  To Cooper’s surprise, she’d laughed. Threw her head back and everything. Then explained she was only sending what amounted to little more than a very large, very muscled nanny to see him home, sober.