Desperate

by Evans, A. K.

“That’s not it, Dom.”

  He just stared at me with such concern, waiting for my explanation.

  “I…do you have a washing machine?” I asked.

  Dom didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah. Do you need to wash your clothes?”

  “Well…yeah, some of them. But more importantly, I need to wash your bedsheets,” I explained.

  “After sleeping in them for one night?”

  I nodded and grimaced as I pressed my forearm a little further into my abdomen, trying to relieve the pain. Dom’s eyes went to my stomach and then to his bed. Realization dawned in his features. He brought his gentle gaze to me, where he held my eyes briefly before he stood and walked into the bathroom. After I heard the water run for a few seconds, Dom came back to the bedroom.

  He held his hand out to me and said, “Come here.”

  I hesitated a minute, but finally put my hand in his. He helped me up from the floor and led me into the bathroom, where I found the water I heard running was coming from his soaking tub.

  “Get undressed and get in the bath,” he instructed. “The water is warm and should help with the pain you’re feeling. I’ll take care of the bedsheets.”

  I was completely caught off guard at how much he knew about periods and how comfortable he was talking about it like it was no big deal.

  Unfortunately, I didn’t share any of this information with him. Instead, I lamented, “I’m so sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for, sugar. Just relax for a while. I’ll come back in a little bit to check on you.”

  At that, Dom excused himself and closed the door as he walked out of the bathroom. I stripped out of my clothes and got in the tub. The warm water felt great; I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I was still in an incredible amount of pain but felt some relief relaxing in the bath.

  I’m not sure how much time passed, but when the water started to feel cold, I figured it was time to get out. I opened the drain, cleaned out the tub, and hopped in the shower to quickly rinse myself off. Then, I wrapped a towel around me just in time to hear a knock at the door.

  “Ekko?” Dom called.

  “Yeah?” I answered.

  “Is it okay to come in?” he asked.

  Glancing in the mirror, I confirmed I was completely covered. I walked over and opened the door.

  Dom’s eyes dropped briefly to the top of the towel but quickly came back up to my face. “How are you feeling?” he wondered.

  “Miserable.”

  He held out two plastic grocery bags and said, “I wasn’t sure exactly what you’d need so I got a bunch. I figured it was a good idea to have a variety.”

  I took the bags from him and looked inside. My heart swelled when I realized what he had done. “You bought me tampons?” I asked in disbelief.

  He shrugged his shoulders and explained, “You only had your bag with your clothes in it last night. There’s a drug store five minutes away, so I took a quick trip there while you were in the bath.”

  I couldn’t help myself. I reached my hand out and touched his cheek. “I must have done something good at some point in my life,” I said softly.

  Dom looked confused by my statement, but I didn’t explain it to him. I just went on, “Thank you.”

  He smiled at me before backing out of the bathroom. I dumped out the bags and found that Dom had, in fact, picked up a variety. He had purchased every absorbency available. I took care of my business and threw on a comfortable pair of yoga pants, a camisole, and an open front cardigan. I was so grateful for the fact that I didn’t need to go to work until just before the dinner rush.

  Coming out of the bathroom, I found Dom had removed the bedsheets I slept in and put a fresh set on. In the middle of the bed, there were several other bags. Before I had the chance to see what was inside, Dom walked back into the room with a glass of water.

  “Here you go,” he said as he handed me the glass. “I got you some painkillers. They’re in those bags along with a few other items.”

  I looked in the bags and saw that Dom had purchased not only several different painkillers but also a ton of goodies, including a bunch of salty snacks and an abundance of chocolate. He even picked up a couple boxes of tea.

  I had to be dreaming. There was no way this was really happening. My curiosity got the best of me and I just had to ask, “How did you know to purchase all of this stuff?”

  He let out a laugh and confessed, “I’ve had a couple girlfriends over the years.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Why did they ever let you get away?”

  He didn’t respond to my question. He simply changed topics. “I think you need some breakfast before you take any of that medicine, though. Do you like egg sandwiches?”

  “I’m not picky,” I answered honestly, mostly overjoyed that I was going to have a home-cooked meal for breakfast.

  “I picked up the tea because I’ve heard some women say it makes them feel better, but I also have coffee if you’d prefer that.”

  “I’ll stick with the tea.”

  He grinned at me, clearly proud of himself for purchasing it, and ordered, “Get in bed. I’ll be right back up with breakfast.”

  “I can come down and help,” I offered, even though the pain was radiating through my belly and lower back.

  “That’s alright. I’ve got it.”

  With that, he turned and walked out of the room. I moved to the bed, climbed in, and dug through the bags searching for the pain medication. It was while I was doing that when I tried to look at this situation as something other than another stroke of bad luck. I was in a warm house in a warm bed that belonged to a gorgeous man. A gorgeous man who had gone out and bought me tampons, chocolate, salty snacks, tea, and painkillers because I’d gotten my period. I had been embarrassed about it, but he never made me feel any shame. Once I found the pain meds, I curled up in a ball on my side and laid there, thinking.

  When I really took the time to think about it, it dawned on me that any time he’d been around me, I had experienced more fortune than I ever had in my life. And I didn’t mean that with regards to money. It was all about the protectiveness and kindness he showed me. He wrapped me in his arms months ago after I was nearly abducted and made me feel safer than I’d ever felt. And what he was doing for me now went beyond what I could ever express with words. My own mother never took care of me like this. I couldn’t understand why Dom was so willing to waste his time on someone like me.

  Dom walked in the bedroom a few minutes later carrying a plate, a mug, and a gorgeous set of dimples. Those dimples could make all my pain and troubles disappear.

  It felt a bit wrong lusting after a man like Dom for two very specific reasons. First, feeling any attraction to someone when I’d officially just left Ryan only a few days ago seemed quick. Of course, we hadn’t been together for quite some time and he had clearly moved on from me, so it’s not like I was feeling sad over the loss of him. Once I learned of the drug dealing, it sealed it for me. I’d never go back to him and I wasn’t sorry about that decision. But the other reason that my attraction to Dom felt wrong was because I had a feeling I was setting myself up for some serious heartache. I didn’t belong with someone like him. He was good, clean, focused, and successful; I was everything but.

  “Are the tea choices okay? Is there one you think you’ll like?”

  “They’re all perfect, Dom. I don’t think I’ve ever had so many options before.”

  I struggled to get myself upright in the bed again. Quite frankly, all I wanted to do was spend my day sleeping in Dom’s bed. Once I was finally seated, he handed me the plate with the breakfast sandwich, which I noted was made on a freshly-baked bagel and sliced in half. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he made the bagel himself that morning.

  “Do you mind if I join you in here for breakfast?” he asked.

  I gave him a questioning look and declared, “It’s your home. Why are you asking me if you can be in your o
wn bedroom?”

  “Because I told you last night that I’d give you a place that was safe, clean, and comfortable. If me being in my bedroom with you would make you uncomfortable, I’d respect that.”

  Could he be any more perfect?

  “I’d love to have some company,” I shared.

  Once again, he dazzled me with his dimples before he replied, “I’ll be right back then.”

  A few minutes later, Dom walked in carrying a second plate and a mug. He sat down next to me on the bed.

  He smiled at me but didn’t say anything.

  “What’s your last name?” I blurted my question. I was doing anything I could to distract myself from the pain I was in and, truthfully, I really wanted to know his name.

  He laughed. “That’s a bit out of left field.”

  “I’m in a bed with a man and I don’t know his full name. I don’t think that says much about the kind of girl I am,” I pointed out.

  “We’re having breakfast in bed, Ekko. It’s not like you allowed me to fuck you without you knowing my name.”

  Just hearing him say those words sent goosebumps all over my body. “I know,” I assured him, quickly trying to cover up my reaction. “I was just trying to be funny.”

  He gave me a look that told me he might not necessarily like my brand of funny before he answered, “It’s Moore. Yours?”

  “You’re talking to probably the only Ekko Rose you’ll ever meet.”

  His dimples came out and he admitted, “I’m completely okay with that being the case. That’s a badass name.”

  I could feel myself beginning to blush, so I dropped my gaze to the plate and picked up half of the egg sandwich. We ate in silence for a bit before he spoke.

  “Do you work today?”

  “Yeah, but only the evening shift thankfully.”

  “You work a lot,” he stated.

  I took in a deep breath and as I let it out, I said, “Yep.”

  “What do you like to do for fun?”

  “Read.”

  He raised his eyebrows and questioned me, “You think reading is fun?”

  “Yes,” I replied immediately. “It’s just about the only traveling I get to do. And with the romance novels, which are my favorite, I get to believe that the dream is possible.”

  “I’m so confused.”

  After swallowing the last bite of the first half of the sandwich, I explained, “I will read just about anything, but I adore romance. A lot of people view it negatively and think it’s all about sex. Some people go so far as to call it porn. But it’s not. Of all the different genres of books I’ve read, nothing makes me feel the way a romance does. And it almost always has nothing to do with the steamy scenes as people might assume.”

  Dom gave me a look that told me he hadn’t considered reading, or possibly reading romance specifically, in that way. I felt like I had given him some new perspective.

  Looking down at the second half of the tasty sandwich that I really wanted to finish eating, I decided against it. It would be better to save it for later.

  I set the plate on the bedside table and grabbed the water and painkillers. I knew I’d have about twenty minutes before they kicked in; I couldn’t wait for the relief. Years ago, when I was doing a bit better financially, I always had them on hand for this specific reason. But when things got bad, it seemed like it all got bad. My financial situation turned sour and my periods got worse. I’d never had medication throughout the entire time they’d been this excruciating.

  After downing the pills, I picked up the hot tea and took a few small sips.

  “I have a heating pad if that would help,” Dom offered.

  I thought I might cry.

  “That’s really kind of you, but I can tough it out. You’ve already gone above and beyond. I appreciate you not making me feel any worse than I already do about what happened to your bedsheets.”

  Putting the last bite of his sandwich up to his mouth with his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, he asked, “Why do you feel bad about something that your body does naturally?”

  I had no idea. It was just something that I always felt awkward about.

  “Possibly staining your sheets because I bled through my clothes has got to be the definition of utter embarrassment.”

  He was serious when he argued, “It shouldn’t be.”

  Dom was so nonchalant about it—like it was no big deal. I wished I could have had that same attitude, but I didn’t. My period was always something I felt embarrassed about. It’s not like I’d ever had anybody to tell me otherwise.

  We continued to chat, and I found that I really enjoyed talking to Dom. It seemed as though we were both giving each other fresh perspective on a lot of things that morning.

  He glanced over at the bedside table when I put the half-empty mug of tea down and asked, “You’re not hungry or it wasn’t good?”

  I looked at the remainder of the sandwich and back at him. “I am hungry, and it was delicious. I just thought I’d save the rest for later.”

  “Eat,” he ordered.

  I held his gaze but didn’t move to pick up the food.

  “Ekko, eat. If you’re hungry, eat. There’s an abundance of food here. You don’t need to stop yourself from enjoying any of it.”

  “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of your kindness,” I admitted.

  “I know you aren’t. Eat, please.”

  Dom didn’t seem like he was going to budge, so I grabbed the plate and brought the sandwich to my mouth.

  As I ate, Dom asked, “What time are you planning to meet the landlord?”

  “I don’t know yet. I was hoping to meet him this morning, but I need to call him. I need to head to the diner first, though, so I can call him.”

  “Why do you have to go to the diner to call him?”

  “Because they have a phone.”

  “You don’t have a phone?” he asked, incredulously.

  I looked down at my lap, feeling disappointed with myself. I used to have a phone, but it was no longer an expense I could justify.

  Dom made a sound that indicated he wasn’t happy before he got up and walked out of the room. Not quite a minute later, he walked back in and held his phone out to me.

  “You can use my phone to make the call.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be quick.”

  I reached for my purse on the table and pulled out the piece of paper I had with the landlord’s number on it. I called him and was overjoyed that he had some time to meet me in a few hours. I disconnected the call and returned Dom’s phone.

  “He can meet me at eleven-thirty this morning,” I announced, noting it wasn’t even ten yet.

  “What time do you have to go to work?”

  “I have to be there by four-thirty.”

  After a gorgeous smile spread across his face, he declared, “Great. You can take some time now to relax and let the meds kick in. Then, I’ll take you to your meeting with the landlord. After, we’re going to go get you a phone and go out for lunch.”

  “I can’t get a phone, Dom.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t have the money for it right now. I got rid of all my unnecessary expenses a while back, so I could continue going to school. It didn’t really matter because I ended up having to leave anyway.”

  “A phone is not an unnecessary expense,” he lectured me. “You need to have one for your own safety.”

  “No. What I need is a place to live. Once I get that sorted, I can start saving for a phone and other luxuries.”

  “I’ll get you the phone, Ekko.”

  “Stop, please,” I begged.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t handle this. I don’t know what’s going on or why you’re doing all of this, but it’s too much. I’ll never be able to dig myself out of the debt I owe you if you keep doing this.”

  “You don’t owe me for anything. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I expe
ct you to pay me back for any of it. I’m doing it because from the little that I do know about you, it seems like you’ve lived rough for the last few years and you need a fuckin’ break. I’ve got the means to give you that break. All you’ve got to do is allow me to help you.”

  My voice was quiet when I replied, “I don’t know how to do that.”

  “Then give me the opportunity to show you how.”

  With those words, I couldn’t fight him. I was tired and in pain, so I gave him a small nod. When I did, he wrapped his hand around mine and gave it a squeeze. His hand on mine brought me more comfort than I’d felt in a really long time.

  “Thank you, Dom.”

  “My pleasure, sugar. Get some rest. I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

  “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Dom asked as he sat on the opposite end of the couch from me eating his lunch.

  We met with the landlord this morning and he showed me the one-bedroom apartment he had available in the apartment complex near my job at the diner. He told me he could have everything ready for me to move in within the week. I agreed, and we set up a time to meet and complete paperwork one week from today. I’d get my keys then, too.

  While I was overjoyed that I was finally going to have my own place again, I was worried about what the next week would bring. I knew Dom had offered to allow me to stay at his place until I could get my living arrangements sorted, but I had originally told him it’d probably only be a few days. I had to figure out how I was going to address this with him.

  After Dom and I left that meeting, he took me to get a phone. I still had reservations about it, but he insisted upon it. I ultimately agreed on the condition that the second I was back on my feet financially, he would transfer the bill into my name. By the time we finished there, Dom was set to take me out to lunch, but I really wasn’t feeling the best. He noticed this and instantly decided we’d get the food to go.

  We arrived back at his place about ten minutes ago. I went upstairs to use the bathroom and get the pain medication while he set the food out for us in the family room. Now, we were seated, eating, and he had just asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

  “I hate to break it to you, but I’m twenty-eight. My twenty-ninth birthday is on the fourteenth of next month. I’d say I’m already grown up.”