Whale of a Tale

by Eric A. Kimmel

  “I have a bus pass,” said Sam. “How about a library card?”

  The captain turned to Jonah. “What about you?”

  “The Lord God is my passport!” Jonah said.

  “I see,” the captain said. He motioned to the soldiers. They stepped forward and, with a few swift motions, tied Sam’s, Scarlett’s, and Jonah’s hands behind their backs. “Let’s go,” he said, motioning toward the ship with his chin.

  “Hey! Wait a minute! Where are you taking us?” Scarlett and Sam cried while Jonah yelled about fire, brimstone, and the Pit of Sheol.

  “You’ve broken the law,” the captain told them. “Strangers must have proper documents before being allowed to enter our country. There is a severe penalty for illegal entry . . . unless our king is merciful and decides to sell you as slaves.”

  “Wait?” Scarlett yelled. “What king? What country? This is a desert island. There’s nothing here but seashells and palm trees.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” the captain said. “It’s our island. Deserted or not, it belongs to our country.”

  “What country are we in?” asked Sam.

  The captain stroked his beard. “You’re in Assyria. We’re taking you to our capital. Welcome to Nineveh.”

  Chapter 10

  Seismic Events

  Scarlett, Sam, and Jonah rocked back and forth in the hold of the ship as it made its way up the Tigris River to Nineveh. The knee-deep bilge water sloshed back and forth with each stroke of the oars.

  “It stinks worse down here than when we were in the fish,” said Sam. The shackles on his wrists made it hard to hold his nose.

  “How’s Jonah doing?” asked Sam.

  “Not good,” Scarlett said. “I think he’s having a meltdown.”

  Jonah lay curled up in a corner of the hold, crying and moaning to himself. “I cry to you from the depths, O Lord. Hear my prayer. Answer me . . .”

  She turned to Jonah. “Please give it a rest, will you, Jonah? That’s not helping.”

  “Go easy on him, Scarlett,” said Sam. “He’s scared.”

  “You think I’m not?” Scarlett shot back. “We’re chained up in this stinky hole. And we’re going to be sold as slaves or worse when the ship gets to Nineveh.”

  “Oh, God, why are you doing this to me?” moaned Jonah to himself.

  “Because you can handle it.”

  Scarlett stared at Sam. “Did you say something?”

  “No,” Sam said. “Did you?”

  “That wasn’t me. I heard a voice loud and clear. If it wasn’t you . . . and it wasn’t Jonah . . .” Scarlett glanced over her shoulder at the huddled, weeping prophet. “That leaves . . .”

  “Maybe so,” said Sam. “Maybe we’re not abandoned. Maybe we’ve all been given a challenge and we just need to figure out how to meet it.”

  They sat silent for a long time in the smelly hold of the rocking ship. Scarlett spoke first.

  “I just remembered something that Grandma Mina told me. She told me about the time when she was going to school at the university, still living in Tehran, and she was arrested by the Shah’s police. She said to me, ‘Scarlett, you must never let such people know you are scared. Even when they threatened me with all kinds of terrible things, I just laughed in their faces and said, “Do what you like with me. I am just one. There are thousands—tens of thousands—just like me. You can’t beat us all. We will never give up.” ’ ”

  “What does that have to do with us?” Sam asked. “We’re going to Nineveh, not Tehran.”

  “Don’t you get it?” Scarlett said. “We need to be brave and tough like Grandma Mina. We can’t let bullies like the captain and his soldiers scare us. And why should we be scared? They may have all the power of Assyria behind them. But you know who we have watching our backs!”

  “Who?” said Sam.

  “The Big Boss!” said Scarlett. She started swinging her chains against the side of the ship. “Help me, Sam,” she said. “Let’s make plenty of noise!”

  They called on Jonah to help them, but he was too upset, worried that perhaps he’d made a mistake in coming to Nineveh after all.

  “Never mind,” Scarlett said. “We’ll make enough racket for the three of us.” They banged away on the ship’s hull until the wood started splintering. Blinding light struck their eyes as the hatch above opened.

  “Hey! Pipe down! What do you think you’re doing?” a sailor yelled.

  “We want to see the captain. We demand to speak to him.”

  The sailor laughed. “Since when do prisoners demand anything?”

  “Since right now!” Scarlett said in a loud, brave voice. “Bring your captain to us, or this ship will never reach port. Did you hear me? Bring him NOW!”

  “What are you talking about?” Sam whispered. “We’re locked in chains. We don’t have the power to do anything.”

  “You and I know that,” said Scarlett. “But the captain and his sailors don’t.”

  “Okay! I’m with you,” Sam said.

  The hatch slammed shut. Scarlett and Sam heard footsteps running back and forth on the deck above their heads. The hatch opened. The captain’s angry face glowered down at them.

  “How dare you waste my time! What do you want?”

  “We are done listening to you. You see our friend Jonah over here?” said Scarlett in a demanding voice, pointing to Jonah. “You will soon be on your knees, begging him for your life. He’s a prophet, sent by God to Nineveh with a warning for the people of Assyria. You don’t know it yet, but you Assyrians are in big trouble. Big, big trouble!”

  “What kind of trouble?” the captain asked. He began to sound nervous.

  “We don’t talk to the likes of you. Our message is for the king alone. We demand to speak to the king as soon as we reach Nineveh!”

  The captain held a quick consultation with two of the ship’s officers. Then he turned and left. Soon a sailor came down into the hold and removed the shackles from Scarlett, Sam, and Jonah, inviting them to climb up from the hold into the sunlight.

  “Can I get you food or something to drink?” the sailor asked. He looked frightened.

  Scarlett didn’t mince words. “Yes,” she said haughtily. “Also bring us soap, water, and towels so we can wash.”

  “Aye, aye, Miss!” The sailor ran down to the galley and came back with a tray of pita bread, hummus, dates, goat cheese, and grapes, and wooden cups and a clay jug filled with some kind of fruit juice. Scarlett and Sam helped themselves. But Jonah knelt on the deck, raising his arms to the sky and crying out in a loud voice, “Lord, hear my prayer! Smite the evildoers with the full fury of your wrath! Burn them with everlasting fire . . .”

  “Okay, that’s enough of that, Jonah,” Scarlett called to him. “Want some cheese?”

  “Never!” Jonah shrieked. “The food of wicked Nineveh will never pass my lips.”

  “Suit yourself,” said Scarlett. She and Sam finished their snack. Looking upriver, they saw the walls and towers of Nineveh coming into view as the ship made its way into port. It looked surprisingly shabby for a city that was supposed to be the capital of a world empire. The twins got a closer view as the ship docked.

  The whole city seemed to be under repair. Piles of bricks lay in the alleyways and in every vacant lot. Heaps of rubble were all around. Construction scaffolding surrounded the buildings. Their façades, once decorated with colorful tiles, were cracked and bare where the tiles had fallen off.

  Scarlett and Sam saw soldiers everywhere. Whoever wasn’t a soldier appeared to be a slave. Screams and shouts filled the air, as slaves scurried up and down the scaffolding with bricks, plaster, and mortar to repair the buildings.

  “Jonah wasn’t kidding,” Sam gasped. “Nineveh has to be the worst place on earth.”

  “You know,” said Scarlett thoughtfully, “All this rubble reminds me of earthquakes.”

  Sam thought for a moment. “They do sort of look like videos from California after an earthquake.”
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  “That’s what I was thinking,” Scarlett said. “Maybe Nineveh is an area that gets earthquakes. The land is pretty flat. Maybe this city is built on a floodplain. We learned about that in school. Fertile soil is like Jell-O. The soil grows great crops, but it magnifies earthquakes.”

  “I get it,” said Sam. “These guys must be living with constant tremors in this city. And they don’t know what causes them. No wonder they’re so nasty. Imagine having to constantly wonder if your house is going to fall on top of you while you’re sleeping.”

  Scarlett agreed. “This is good to know.”

  “Why?” asked Sam.

  Scarlett winked at him. “You’ll see.”

  The captain stood on deck talking to a tall man with a beard even longer than his. Its elaborate curls hung below his waist. He wore a conical hat on his head that made him seem even taller.

  Scarlett didn’t waste any time. She grabbed the captain by the arm. “Listen,” she said. “We don’t have all day. When are we going to speak to the king?”

  The tall man’s jaw nearly dropped. “How dare you?”

  “How dare I?” said Scarlett. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”

  “Do you know who you’re talking to?” the man said. He grew so angry that his face turned the color of a ripe tomato. “I am Adad-Nirari-Shamshad-Ashur-Dan! Uncle to his majesty, King Tukulti-Ninurta the Second.”

  “Cool!” said Sam. “Good to meet you, Adi. Now stop wasting our time and take us to the king. We must talk to him right away.”

  “What? I never heard such impudence from slaves!” The king’s uncle flew into a rage. “Arrest them!” he shouted. Soldiers came running forward with drawn swords.

  “Lord, do not forsake me!” Jonah wailed.

  Sam and Scarlett put their arms around Jonah. “Don’t you dare!” Scarlett said to the soldiers. “Put those swords away. You see our friend here? His name is Jonah. He’s a prophet. He came to Nineveh to warn you of the destruction heading your way if you do not repent your wicked ways.”

  “That’s right,” said Sam. “Unless the king hears Jonah’s message, Nineveh is doomed.”

  “D-O-O-M-E-D!” Scarlett shouted. “That’s DOOMED with a capital D.”

  The soldiers stopped in their tracks. Even the king’s uncle looked apprehensive.

  Scarlett turned to Jonah. “Go ahead. Tell them, Jonah. Tell them what God sent you here to say.”

  “Go on,” said Sam. “Now’s your chance. Let ’em have it.”

  Jonah faced the Assyrians. His mouth opened and shut, but no sound came out. He tried again. This time, he only got as far as, “G-G-G-G-G . . .”

  The Assyrians began laughing. “Some prophet!”

  “Enough of that,” said the king’s uncle. “You’ve wasted my time, and you will be punished.”

  “Don’t you dare!” said Scarlett. “If you lay one hand on us . . .” She stopped. Then what?

  Sam jumped in. “This city will be destroyed. Nothing will be left of it, not even a candy wrapper. When God gets finished with Nineveh, you will be sorry you didn’t wait to hear what Jonah has to say.”

  Scarlett followed Sam’s lead. “Not one brick will be left standing in this city. Not even a lizard will be left alive.”

  That’s when Jonah joined in. Suddenly the full power of prophecy poured from his mouth. “Woe to you, Nineveh! Woe to you, Assyria! The fires of Sheol will consume you! Demons will feast on your bones!”

  “That’s really good,” Scarlett whispered, admiringly. She faced the Assyrians. “Did you hear that? The prophet has spoken. We demand to meet your king. We’re done waiting. You have ten seconds. Countdown starting now: ten . . . nine . . . eight . . .” She counted off the seconds on her fingers.

  Sam continued. “Seven . . . six . . .”

  “Five . . . four . . . three . . .” said Jonah.

  “They’re bluffing,” the king’s uncle said. “Arrest them. Now!”

  The soldiers came forward with their swords raised. Jonah pointed across the dock at the tallest tower on the waterfront. “Behold, sinners of Assyria! The Hand of the Lord descends on Nineveh!”

  “The tower! It’s moving!” Scarlett gasped.

  Within seconds, everything was moving. A noise like a hundred freight trains ripped through the air. The ship rocked back and forth. Everyone on board ran to grab hold of something to keep from being knocked over. Waves from the river crashed over the wharfs, lifting up entire ships and smashing them into buildings. Cracks rippled through the city walls. Scarlett and Sam heard screams as a tower overlooking the port came crashing down. Then it stopped.

  “You were right,” whispered Sam. “Seismic tremors.”

  “Yup, earthquake,” said Scarlett. “My hunch was right.” She turned to the king’s uncle. “How’d you like that? That was just a taste. Want more?”

  The king’s uncle threw himself down at Jonah’s feet. “No! Have mercy! Do not destroy our city! I will escort you to the king at once.”

  “Good,” said Scarlett.

  “Uh, we don’t like to walk,” said Sam.

  “I will arrange to have you carried to the palace by a chariot.”

  “See that you do,” said Scarlett.

  Jonah looked around. A smile of grim satisfaction crossed his face. He had faced the dreaded Assyrians, and they had trembled. Soon they would face Heaven’s wrath. He had no doubt of that.

  Chapter 11

  Danger Zone

  Slaves had begun clearing away the rubble in the streets by the time a golden chariot inlaid with precious gems arrived. Two powerful horses pulled it through the streets. No one waved or cheered. Everyone kept on working, looking serious and frightened.

  “How come everybody seems so scared?” Scarlett asked the driver. “In our town people love to stand in the streets and cheer when something like a parade comes by.”

  The driver shook his head. “Why should we look happy? What is there to cheer about here in Nineveh? We’re all slaves. We’ll never see our homes and families again.”

  Scarlett and Sam felt sad hearing that. Jonah just stared at the ruined buildings.

  The chariot dropped them off at the palace gates. Platoons of soldiers armed with swords and spears paraded back and forth. Each one had a long, curly beard. Even the carvings on the walls depicted gods and kings with beards. Scarlett and Sam saw other carvings of winged bulls with human heads. Even the bulls had beards!

  “They must go for beards here,” Scarlett whispered to Sam. All the men they’d seen so far had similar long, curly beards. “Do you think the beards are all real?”

  “Probably not,” Sam whispered back. “Do you think I’d look good with a beard?”

  “Not one of those,” said Scarlett. “It’d look like some large, furry animal attached itself to your face.”

  But they didn’t have time to think any more about that. The soldiers at the palace entrance challenged them.

  “State your business!”

  “We’ve come to see the king!” Scarlett said in a loud voice.

  “The king’s uncle has arranged it. Now lead us to your king!” Sam added. The soldiers stepped forward threateningly, but suddenly a voice called from inside the palace.

  “Let them through!” A man who looked like some sort of official, because his beard was longer and curlier than the rest, helped Scarlett and Sam off the chariot. He ushered them through the rows of soldiers to the throne room.

  “When are we going to see the king?” Sam demanded.

  “Right now,” the official said. “But I am warning you. Don’t waste the king’s time. Say what you have to say and be done.”

  Jonah said nothing as Scarlett and Sam reached for his hands. Suddenly he stretched his arms wide and shouted out the familiar Hebrew words, “Sh’ma Yisrael, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Ekhad! Hear, O Israel. The Lord, Our God, The Lord is One.”

  “That’s the Sh’ma,” said Sam.

  “You got it, Jonah! That’s
telling them!” Scarlett said.

  Scarlett, Sam, and Jonah locked arms. They strode down the corridor filled with soldiers until they came to an enormous room. It, too, was filled with soldiers with even longer beards. Standing among the soldiers were groups of men and women in different costumes.

  “Those must be ambassadors from other countries,” Sam whispered. “They look a little nervous.”

  “So would we. But we have something they don’t,” said Scarlett.

  “What?” Sam asked.

  Jonah answered. “The Big Boss!”

  “That’s right,” said Scarlett. “No fear!”

  “No fear!” said Sam.

  “No fear!” said Jonah.

  ***

  Moments later, Scarlett, Sam, and Jonah found themselves standing before the throne of the king of Assyria, the most powerful and feared ruler of the ancient world.

  The throne, made entirely of gold, looked like an escalator at a mall. Fifty steps led up to the seat at the top. A pair of animals—also made of gold—stood on the sides of each step: lions, bears, tigers, elephants, camels, giraffes, leopards, eagles, gazelles, bulls, sheep, goats, and chickens.

  “Looks like they were running out of animals toward the end,” Scarlett whispered to Sam.

  She didn’t have time to say more. A blast of trumpets sounded. More soldiers came marching in, escorting the king to the throne. The king, a tiny person with a curly beard that went down to his knees, stopped before the first step. The two lions, roaring mechanical roars, lifted him up to the next step. Then the mechanical bears took over, followed by the mechanical tigers, elephants, camels, etc. By the time the king reached his throne, the top of his crown was only a few inches from the ceiling. The king sat down. With a satisfied smile, he glanced over the crowds gathered far below him.

  Scarlett nudged Sam with her elbow. She tried not to giggle. “That’s the king of Assyria, the guy the whole world fears? Don’t you think all this hoopla is a little silly?”

  “Do you think the beard’s real?” Sam asked.

  “I don’t know,” Scarlett replied.

  “Silence!” the king commanded. He had a high, screechy voice. He glared down at Scarlett, Sam, and Jonah. “Nobody speaks unless I speak to them. Do you understand? Now, before we go any further, the three of you must bow to me. Show them how it’s done!” he ordered those around him.