Pillar of Light

by Gerald N. Lund

  Mary Ann slipped her arm through her husband’s, glad that he had not refused to accompany her to this meeting. In fact her heart was brimming over with joy. They had come to Kirtland. She had arrived in time to help Lydia with the birth. Her husband was here and mingling daily with men of the faith—good, strong priesthood holders that would bless his life, she hoped. It was more than she had ever dreamed could happen.

  Ben, sensing her feelings, looked down at her. She smiled and squeezed his arm.

  “What?” he asked.

  She smiled, her eyes radiant with happiness. “Thank you for letting us be here for this.”

  Mary Ann and Ben stood in the shade of a large beech tree, for the moment alone. Matthew and Becca had spied Newel Whitney and his family arriving and had gone off to greet the Whitney children. Melissa and two or three other young women were gathered around Emma, gurgling at the twins. Nathan and Lydia were sitting on a couple of chairs they had brought from the house. The baby was asleep in Nathan’s arms. Joseph, still waiting for more of the Saints to arrive, finished giving instructions to Nathan, then stood and walked over to Martin Harris and Bishop Edward Partridge.

  The yard of the school was filling up quickly now, and Mary Ann marveled again at the number of Saints flocking in for the final meeting of the conference. Joseph had shocked them all when he told them there were now close to two thousand members of the Church. Two thousand! Many of them were here today. In just over a year’s time, from fifty or sixty to two thousand—it left her reeling with wonder.

  “Good morning, Sister Steed.”

  They turned. Mother Smith had come to join them.

  “Good morning, Sister Smith.”

  Benjamin tipped his hat. “Mornin’, Mother Smith.”

  “Mr. Steed.” She looked over at Nathan and Lydia. “An exciting day. How good that you could be here.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  They stood there for a moment in companionable silence, watching the people. Then Lucy Smith turned. “Oh, look! There’s Elsa Johnson.”

  Mary Ann turned to see where Mother Smith was pointing. A wagon was just arriving with an older couple in it. It was evident that this was a prosperous rig. The wagon looked new, and it was pulled by a matched team of handsome bays. Both the man and the woman were well dressed.

  “She’s the one I told you about. With the arm.”

  “Oh yes,” Mary Ann said, looking more closely now. Who had not heard the remarkable story of Elsa Johnson?

  Mother Smith pursed her lips in wonder. “I talked with her yesterday. She still has no pain and uses it for all her work. It’s marvelous.”

  “What’s this about her arm?” Benjamin asked.

  Mary Ann looked up at her husband, surprised for a moment, then realized that he had not heard this story. Suddenly a thought popped into her head. “She had a wonderful experience with Joseph,” she answered. Then to Mother Smith she said, “I’ve not heard her tell that personally. Do you think she would mind if we asked her to tell us her story?”

  If there was one thing to be said for Lucy Mack Smith, it was that she was not slow. For a moment she peered up at Mary Ann, then glanced at Ben, who was only half following the conversation as he watched the people. Her head began to bob as a sly smile stole across her face. “Now, there’s an idea.” She looked over to where her son was still visiting with a cluster of people. Obviously they still had some time before things would be getting underway. With sudden determination she grabbed Mary Ann’s hand. “Come on.”

  Holding her breath, Mary Ann looked up at Ben. “Do you want to come?”

  He looked at her, and she knew he had been following more of the conversation than she first thought. But his eyes were also curious, and to her joy he finally nodded.

  Mother Smith was not one to spend time in idle chitchat when she had something on her mind. She led them right up to the Johnsons, introduced Mary Ann and Ben, then asked Elsa straight out if she would share her experience with them.

  Elsa Johnson nodded immediately. She was a pleasant-looking woman, nearing her midforties, Mary Ann estimated. She had light brown eyes, and her hair, just starting to gray, was pulled back away from her face and tied in a bun at the back of her head. Her face was tanned and lined with wrinkles from the sun; her hands were rough and calloused.

  John Johnson was also a kindly looking man, weathered and plain but with blue eyes that bespoke wisdom and integrity. When they were seated he spoke first. He looked at his wife, then back to Mary Ann. “It was a marvelous thing,” he said. “I was there. Saw the whole thing with my own eyes.”

  Elsa picked it up from there. “For the last six years I have been hardly able to use my arm at all.” She lifted one elbow slightly. “It was almost completely paralyzed. I couldn’t use it to do any work at all. In fact I couldn’t even raise it to the level of my head.”

  “Chronic rheumatism,” John Johnson said somberly. “It gave her a lot of pain. Doctors couldn’t do nothing for her.”

  “When word came of the restored gospel,” Elsa went on, “our son Luke joined immediately. John and I felt good about it too, but hadn’t yet made up our minds.”

  John spoke softly. “In the Bible Jesus said that signs would follow those that believe—blessing people with infirmities, healing the sick, raising the dead, casting out devils. Some friends, including a minister, wanted to go to Kirtland and meet Joseph. So we decided to go too. We found Joseph and Emma living with the Whitneys. I can still remember it very clearly. We were all sitting together there in the Whitney home, visiting with the Prophet.”

  “We were all impressed,” Elsa broke in. “He was so kind, and so dignified.”

  For the first time in the conversation, Benjamin spoke. “Did you tell Joseph why you had come?”

  Her husband’s mouth softened into a rueful grin. “I guess we were all thinkin’ about it, but no one wanted to say it straight out to Joseph. So we were just kinda visitin’ and all that.”

  “Suddenly,” Elsa said, “one of our company just blurted it out. Can’t even remember now for sure who it was. But out it came. We’d been talking about the priesthood being restored to earth. And suddenly this person just up and says, ‘Here’s Mrs. Johnson with her lame arm. Has God given any power to men now on the earth to cure her?’ “ She laughed quietly, her cheeks coloring a little. “It was so sudden. We were all a little embarrassed by it, I suppose.”

  Mary Ann leaned forward eagerly. “What did Joseph say?”

  John chuckled. “Nothin’.”

  “Nothing?” Mary Ann echoed in surprise. “He didn’t respond at all?”

  “Not then,” he answered. “The conversation resumed and went on to other things for several moments.”

  Mary Ann turned as she noticed that Elsa was blinking rapidly. Tears had filled her eyes as she spoke. “Then, without warning, Joseph stood up.” She swallowed quickly. “He walked over and stood in front of me. A hush came over the room.” She looked away, her lips trembling.

  Mary Ann moved slightly so she could see Benjamin more clearly. His brows were furrowed and it almost made him appear to be frowning, but on closer examination she could see he was listening intently.

  Tears were making wet streaks down Elsa Johnson’s cheeks now. Embarrassed, she wiped at them with the back of her hand. Her husband reached over and laid a hand on her shoulder in silent encouragement.

  Finally she sniffed back the tears and spoke once again. “Joseph reached out and took my hand. Then, in the most solemn and impressive manner, he looked into my eyes. ‘Woman,’ he said, ‘in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command thee to be whole.’ I...” She stopped, too overcome to continue.

  Someone a little way off from them laughed and the sound carried softly to them, but none of the five of them even noticed. Mother Smith slid over enough to lay a hand on Sister Johnson’s arm and pat it slowly.

  John Johnson was staring at his wife, his bottom lip starting to tremble a little now too
. Surprisingly, when he looked up, he looked at Benjamin and not at Mary Ann. “Joseph turned and left the room without another word,” he began, his voice low now and quavering. “We were all completely astonished and just stared after him.” Suddenly his voice steadied. “Sir, do you have any idea how I felt when I turned around and looked at my wife? Even as I looked at her, she started to raise her arm. Her face was aglow with wonder. Up came her arm, without the slightest hesitation. Up, up. It passed the level of her waist, then the level of her shoulder. We all just gaped at her, like kids watching a miracle happen.”

  He turned to his wife, his eyes filled with love and gratitude. “I shall never forget that picture in my mind—her sitting there, laughing and crying all at once, her arm held high in the air.”

  Elsa had finally composed herself enough to meet her husband’s gaze. She spoke to him as if there were no one else there. “I went home the next day and put out a wash for the first time in six years.” She lifted her arm high above her head and rotated it around in a large circle. “That’s been at least two months ago now. As you can see, the infirmity has not returned.”

  Benjamin’s eyes were riveted on Elsa Johnson’s hand as it came back down again, but he said nothing. Mary Ann finally broke the silence that followed. “Thank you, Sister Johnson,” she said, her own eyes now shining too. “Thank you for sharing that wonderful story with us.”

  Joseph was at the pulpit, which consisted of a short length of log squared and tacked onto a plank base. He stood tall and erect. He had removed his suit coat and stood in breeches and white long-sleeved shirt. The sun was nearly at its zenith now, and in its light his hair gleamed like a field of burnished wheat ready to harvest.

  He looked around the congregation, finally letting his eyes stop on where Nathan and Lydia sat with their family gathered around them. His eyes sought out Nathan’s, and Nathan felt a little thrill go through him. The moment had arrived.

  “As you know,” Joseph said, his voice loud and distinct and carrying clearly to the furthermost ear, “even before the Church was organized the Lord revealed his will to us concerning the naming and blessing of children. In that revelation he commanded every member of the Church having children to bring them to the elders before the Church to have them blessed in the name of Christ.”

  He smiled, his eyes softening. “As many of you know, Brother Nathan Steed and his wife, Lydia McBride Steed, were blessed with a healthy baby boy about two weeks ago. It will now be our pleasure to have Nathan bring that child forth and carry out this ordinance in his behalf.”

  There were murmurs of approval and soft calls of congratulations as Nathan stood and took little Nathan from Lydia. His mother reached up and squeezed his arm happily as he started past her.

  When he joined Joseph he turned and faced the sea of faces. He felt a sudden panic, but then Joseph’s arm came up and one hand rested on Nathan’s shoulder, and he felt the fear leave him. He remembered Joseph’s counsel earlier that morning. “Let the Spirit speak, Nathan. It is the Lord’s blessing you are giving, not your own.” Relieved, he felt a great calm come over him.

  “You may have anyone who holds the higher priesthood stand in with you for the blessing, Brother Nathan,” Joseph said. “Are there any particular brethren you would like to have join you?”

  “You, of course,” Nathan said quickly. “And Hyrum.” He looked around. “Martin Harris and Brother Sidney and Brother Parley.” For a moment his eyes fell on his father, and he felt a sudden pang of longing. How wonderful it would be if Benjamin were a priesthood holder and could stand with them!

  The other brethren were all sitting close enough to hear and immediately stood as Joseph motioned to them. With great solemnity they gathered in a circle with Joseph and Nathan. Nathan looked down. Little Nathan, who had been sleeping, was now awake, his eyes squinting against the brightness of the sun. His little mouth twisted, then opened in a big yawn, and his arms extended into a wonderful stretch. It brought smiles from the men looking down at him.

  “Brethren,” Joseph said, “normally we hold the baby with both hands, but with this many elders in the circle, would you hold the baby with your right hand and put your left hand on the shoulder of the man next to you.” He turned to Nathan. “Nathan will act as voice.”

  For one moment before he bowed his head, Nathan caught a glimpse of Lydia’s face, watching him intently, eyes glowing with happiness. He smiled, then looked down at little Nathan. The men began to bounce the baby lightly up and down, which little Nathan seemed not to mind at all. He closed his eyes and promptly went back to sleep again. Nathan too closed his eyes, letting his heart swell up with the joy of the occasion.

  “Our Father in Heaven,” Nathan began, “in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we take this tiny baby in our arms, we who are elders in thy priesthood, and we do so in order to give him his name and also a blessing in the name of Jesus.”

  He paused, offering a quick, silent prayer that he could let the Spirit speak through him. “We are most pleased, Heavenly Father, that thou hast seen fit to bless our family with this choice infant. We are grateful that he was born healthy and strong and that all went well with his mother in this birth.

  “Now, dear Lord, it is time to give this new little person who has come into this life a name, the name that he will be known by throughout his life here on earth. The name that we, his parents, have chosen to give him is—”

  A thought leaped into his mind. It took him so much by surprise that he simply stopped, speechless. Taken aback, he shook it off, took a breath, and started again. “The name we have chosen is...”

  His voice trailed off into silence. Again the thought came, this time with such clarity that it stunned him. Amazed, he focused inward, searching his heart. Was this how the Spirit conveyed the Lord’s will? For several seconds all seemed suspended, then it came, that sweet peace of confirmation. The answer was clear.

  He took a deep breath, and raising his voice he continued slowly. “The name the Lord has chosen for this boy is—” He stopped, then spoke each word slowly and distinctly. “His name shall be Joshua Benjamin Steed.”

  He heard a gasp from someone in the congregation and wasn’t sure if it was Lydia or his mother or Melissa, or all three together. He sensed Joseph’s amazement next to him. Still a little dazed by it all, he continued. “Little Joshua, as your father, and as an elder in the Church of Jesus Christ, I now give you a blessing by the power of the holy priesthood.”

  The rest of the blessing was somewhat of a blur to Nathan. He spoke of blessings of health and of a sound mind for his son. He spoke of faith and testimony and service to the Lord. But he was still reeling from what had happened, and it came out without much conscious thought.

  As he finished and the chorus of amens rumbled through the congregation, the men in the circle stepped back. Hyrum Smith and Martin Harris were looking at him in open surprise. Joseph was nodding thoughtfully now.

  Nathan shook hands around the circle and, amid the smiles of the Saints, returned to his place as Joseph went on with the meeting.

  As he approached his family, Nathan met the wide-eyed stares of each of them. His father’s eyes registered open disapproval; Melissa’s were shocked; his mother’s surprised but accepting. Smiling crookedly, he shrugged his shoulders and sat down next to his wife. As he handed her the baby, she looked down at her son. “Joshua?” she said in wonder.

  “I’m sorry, Lydia,” he whispered. “When I stood up, I—”

  She shook her head quickly. “It’s all right, Nathan.” Her eyes were suddenly glistening. “In that moment that you paused, it was...” She groped for words. “It was like suddenly I was inside your mind, and in that moment, I knew. I knew you were going to name him Joshua.”

  “You did?” he echoed dumbly.

  “Yes.”

  “Then it wasn’t just me?” he said, relief washing over him.

  “No.” She smiled through the tears, then looked down at
her baby. She pulled the blanket back from his face and gazed down on him in wonder. “I don’t understand it, but if that is the Lord’s will, then little Joshua you shall be.”

  They sat quietly in the grass of the schoolyard. The last of the conference congregation were nearly gone now. Nathan and Lydia were talking with Joseph and Emma, and Mary Ann and Benjamin both seemed content to wait for them to finish. Melissa had taken the children back into town with Martin Harris so that the grandparents could have dinner with Nathan and Lydia.

  Mary Ann stole a glance at her husband. Finally, she could bear it no longer. “Well?” she asked.

  “Well, what?”

  “You know what. Aren’t you going to comment about today?”

  “What in particular?”

  She sighed, knowing he was being deliberately obtuse. “The blessing of Joshua. The conference.” She hesitated. “What Sister Johnson told us.”

  His mouth opened, then shut again. Finally, he simply shrugged. “It was nice.”

  It was nice. Was that all? Mary Ann couldn’t let it go at that. “What about Sister Johnson’s story? Do you believe her?”

  He didn’t answer for almost thirty seconds, his face furrowing in contemplation. “I...” He shook his head. “Well, I don’t think she’s lyin’.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Mary Ann said. “If she’s not lying, then she’s tellin’ the truth.”

  “Or what she thinks is the truth.”

  The feeling of frustration was almost palpable enough to touch. “Meanin’ you think she was deceived?” she said, fighting not to snap it out.

  But Benjamin shook his head. “I don’t know what to think,” he finally admitted.

  Mary Ann felt a quick surge of hope. It had touched him. Accepting it meant facing up to several other things as well, and he wasn’t ready for that. She knew that, and she was wise enough not to push him on it. But it had touched him.