Pillar of Light

by Gerald N. Lund

  “He knew it would not be,” Heber said.

  Now Brigham turned to Caroline. “You are not a member either, but that is not by your choice. We know about your situation with your husband. We know that Joshua is looking for some way to break your determination to stay faithful. Therefore, Joseph felt that you needed to know it all, so you can choose for yourself.”

  It was Lydia who asked the question that was looming large in Caroline’s mind. “If we cannot speak of what we learn here tonight, what does Caroline say to Joshua?”

  “What do any of us say to Joshua?” Nathan exclaimed. “He knows about Joseph teaching the doctrine. He’ll be home in a few days expecting an answer from me.”

  Brigham seemed unbothered by that. “What you have learned outside this room, you may share with him openly. Joseph feels it is probably unwise to try and deflect him from his questions. But what Heber and Vilate are going to tell you now is not for him. It is not for anyone else. If you cannot commit to that kind of confidence now, then we shall ask you to withdraw.”

  There was silence in the room. No one moved. Brigham searched their faces and then nodded in satisfaction. “Then I suggest you proceed, Heber.” And he moved to a chair and sat down.

  For a long moment, the man with a blacksmith’s body and an Apostle’s heart stood silently. Then finally he straightened. He was looking at Vilate now, almost oblivious to the fact that there were others in the room. “Brother Brigham talked about the Lord testing us. In the revelations, he says that we must be tried even as Abraham was tried. And so it was with me. It was shortly after I returned from England last summer. Joseph immediately started revealing the principle of plural marriage to the Twelve. We were as stunned as you. We were every bit as sick at heart as you are at this very moment. It sounded like a thunderclap in our ears.

  “It was then that Joseph took me aside. ‘Brother Heber,’ he said, ‘the Lord has a special test for you.’ ‘What is it?’ I said boldly, thinking that I was faithful and prepared to meet whatever demand my beloved prophet laid upon me.”

  He stopped, staring down at his hands now. Benjamin saw that they were trembling slightly even now as he went back in memory. “‘Heber,’ he said, ‘the Lord requires that you give Vilate to me to be my wife.’”

  The sharp intake of breath sounded loudly in the stillness of the room. Even Benjamin was gaping at Heber.

  Heber took in a long breath, shaking his head. “I could scarcely believe my ears. At first I thought he was making a joke of this, though I saw no humor in such a horrible proposal. But he assured me that he was in earnest.”

  “But Vilate already belonged to another,” Melissa cried. “She was another man’s wife. Does the Lord justify that?”

  Heber went on quietly without responding to her directly. “My first thought, I am ashamed to admit to you now, was that Joseph had fallen. Surely God was not asking for such a heinous thing. Joseph’s motives must be base and twisted. It was like a poisoned arrow shot through my heart. I was ready to spurn his proposition out of hand, without debate. But fortunately, reason prevailed. I have known Brother Joseph intimately for almost a decade. I have sat in council with him, been instructed by him, seen his face transformed by the light and power of God. I have never once doubted that Joseph is God’s oracle. How could I do so now? And if that was so, then it was not Joseph who required my beloved Vilate, it was God himself. And how could I refuse?”

  Everyone in the room was transfixed now. Hardly an eyelid fluttered as Heber’s hands began to grip at the back of the chair, digging and twisting at the material. His voice had become hoarse and filled with pain. “I fled from his face. For three days I was gripped in the agonies of hell. I fasted. I prayed. I begged the Lord to comfort me. I felt as if my very heartstrings were sawn asunder. But at the end of those three days, I knew that I had no choice. I must submit to God’s will. So with broken and bleeding heart, I led my beloved Vilate to Joseph. I placed her hand into his and told him that she was his to take as his wife.”

  Heber stopped, looking away. He reached up and brushed at the corner of one eye with the back of his hand. Lydia saw that Vilate’s eyes were shining now too as she looked at her husband.

  “As I placed her hand into his,” Heber said, now stronger and more firmly than before, “Joseph broke down and wept like a child. He just sobbed. ‘My dear Brother Heber,’ he said, ‘you have passed the test. You have proven yourself to be a child of Abraham, and like Abraham you have held nothing back, laying that which is most precious and dear to you on the altar for God’s glory.’”

  Heber’s voice broke now, and he started to weep openly. “He swept me up in his embrace, crushing me to his bosom. ‘Your sacrifice is accepted. This is proof enough of your devotion to your God. It is accounted unto you for righteousness.’”

  He had to stop. Vilate stood and moved swiftly to stand beside him. Though she was crying now too, her voice was still under control. “And then—” She sniffed back the tears. “Then he had us kneel there together before him. He placed my hand in Heber’s, and there and then he sealed us together as man and wife for time and for all the eternities.”

  “And it was only a test?” Melissa said, crying as well. “Joseph didn’t really want Vilate as his wife?”

  “No,” Heber said. He blew out his breath, fighting to regain control. He wiped at his eyes again. “I know not what it is like to have to offer a child to the Lord as Abraham did. But I will say this. Let me stand in the thickest of the battle, with balls whizzing past my head. Let me endure the sack of Far West all over again. Let me cross the wintry plains a thousand times. I will take them each or all together as a test rather than to face being asked to make such a sacrifice again.”

  Brigham stood. Vilate moved as though to sit down again, but he took her arm, holding her there with him. “Their story is not through and I want you to hear it all, but first, let me say this. In the minds of the wicked, this principle that Joseph has revealed will be seen as a license for a man to gratify his basest desires. We will be accused of seeking to warm our beds with more than one woman. And with men like John C. Bennett and others, this is how it will be.

  “But to a man of God, nothing can be further from the truth. From the time I made my decision to join the Church and threw my lot in with the kingdom of God, I have tried to be obedient to whatever God asked of me. But when Joseph revealed this principle to the Twelve and said that we must live it, it was as if a stake had pierced my heart. It was the first time in my life that I desired the grave. For days, I longed for death. That, to me, was a far more pleasant prospect than having to go to my beloved Mary Ann and tell her what was required of us. When I saw a funeral, I felt a great envy for the corpse and longed to have it be my body in the coffin.”

  Nathan had been staring at the rug beneath their feet, listening but not wanting his face to betray what he was feeling. Now he looked up. “Have you taken a second wife, Brother Brigham?”

  The other day during their conversation, Brigham had carefully sidestepped Nathan’s questions. Now he did not flinch. “Not yet.” And then before the surprise and relief could register, he went on. “But it is about to happen. In a few weeks, I will be marrying Lucy Ann Decker Seeley. You may know her. She is a woman whose husband began to abuse her a few years back and then eventually abandoned her. He has since died. She has two children from that marriage.”

  “And Mary Ann knows of this?” Lydia asked, her own face filled with doubts.

  “Yes,” he said quietly. “I went to Mary Ann immediately after Joseph taught us the doctrine and we shared those difficult days together. She has now accepted it as I have. I have her consent to marry this woman. In fact, she will likely be present at the marriage, which Brother Joseph will perform for us.”

  Melissa couldn’t bear it. She had to look away, sick at heart. Carl saw it and reached for her hand. His own face was unreadable.

  “I think you’d better tell them the rest of the story,
Heber,” Brigham said, and then went and sat down again.

  “Yes, but I think I shall let Vilate tell it from here.” Heber smiled at her. “I shall fill in when I think it’s necessary.”

  She nodded. The tears were gone now and she was totally composed. “Well, as Heber said, he passed the test and we were sealed together, which was a glorious thing for both of us. I thought we had been tested to the limit and it was over.” There was a tiny, rueful smile. “But I was wrong. Vilate still needed proving.

  “What I didn’t know at the time was that after Joseph revealed the principle of plural marriage to them, Heber expected he would be called upon to live it and so he began considering whom he might take to wife. Two elderly spinster sisters by the name of Pitkin came to his mind. They were dear friends of mine, and he thought that this would cause me little, if any, unhappiness. But when Joseph finally said that it was time for him to act, he named another woman, an English woman, Sarah Noon. She is much closer to my own age.”

  “She came across on the ship with us when we returned from England,” Heber broke in. “She was married to a drunkard over there who badly mistreated her. He came to America but then abandoned her and returned to England. Joseph said I was to marry her and provide for her and the children.”

  “Go on,” Vilate said. “Tell them what happened next, then I’ll tell them my part.”

  He nodded and continued. “I was shocked at that request, for I knew this would be much harder for Vilate to accept. This would be more than just a token marriage to two elderly sisters.” He sighed. “So I delayed. Joseph came to me again, and again he told me I was to take Sarah Noon to wife. Still I did not act. I could not bear to deal with what it would mean to my beloved Vilate.

  “Finally,” he went on more slowly now, “Joseph came to me the third time. When he learned I had not obeyed, he was greatly disturbed. ‘I command you in the name of the Lord, Heber,’ he said. ‘If you do not heed this commandment, you shall lose your apostleship and you will be damned.’

  “I was stunned and knew that I could delay no longer. But then he shocked me even more deeply. Joseph told me that I could not divulge this information to anyone else, not even Vilate. He said he was in great danger, that there were even then false brethren who had crept like snakes into his bosom, and that I must keep it secret from everyone.”

  “Even Vilate?” Mary Ann echoed.

  “Yes, even from me,” Vilate answered for him. “I knew nothing of any of this, of course. I don’t have to tell you how Heber loves the Prophet Joseph. He realized the situation fully and determined that he would not put Joseph’s life in jeopardy in any way.”

  “But here was another great test of my faith,” Heber came in again. “Vilate had been ever faithful to me, suffering great deprivation while I was in England, having to deal with sickness and the caring for the children. How could I do this to her? It would destroy her if she heard of this from some other source. I shrank from the thought of causing her any more unhappiness. Finally, I was so troubled, I went to Joseph. I told him that this was such a great trial of my faith that I feared I would falter and perhaps even completely fall. I begged Joseph to let me tell Vilate before proceeding further. He was full of sympathy and finally agreed to inquire of the Lord. But when he came back, the answer was like my death knell. ‘Tell him to go and do as I have commanded,’ the Lord said. ‘If I see that there is any danger of his apostatizing, I will take him to myself.’”

  Benjamin shook his head. He had come expecting these two brethren and their wives to explain the principles behind plural marriage. He had not expected anything like this.

  Heber laughed in bitter irony. “That was comforting to me. ‘If Heber is too weak, I’ll take his life from him.’”

  “Let me pick up the story from there,” Vilate said.

  He nodded and then went and sat down.

  Vilate turned her attention now particularly to the women and began to speak to them. “Not surprisingly, I began to notice that something was wrong with Heber. He was highly distraught. He ate little and rarely slept. He would often walk the floor throughout the night and into the morning. I asked him what was wrong, and he would only evade my questions. Finally, growing more and more alarmed, I demanded to know what was troubling him. He was sick in body and was in a state of mental wretchedness. At times I would see him on his knees. He would weep like a child and wring his hands, beseeching the Lord to be merciful. What I didn’t know was that he was begging the Lord to reveal this principle to me so that he would not have to break his vow of secrecy.”

  Vilate sat down now in the chair in front of her. She folded her hands in her lap, and took three quick breaths. “This is not easy for me to talk about, even now. But if you will bear with me . . .” She looked away, fighting for composure.

  Finally, she turned back. For some reason, she was speaking directly to Caroline now. “When I found that it was useless to beseech Heber any longer, and being greatly distressed by his condition, I retired to my room. I remembered what Joseph had learned so many years before, that God has said, ‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not.’ I did not realize it at the time, but at that same moment, Heber was also on his knees, pleading for an answer in my behalf.”

  Now the tears came again, but her face was lustrous through them and her voice rose firmly. “While I was thus engaged, pleading with the Lord as one would plead for life itself, suddenly the vision of my mind was opened. It was as though a flood of light washed away the sorrow and the groveling things of this world. Before me, I saw the order of celestial marriage, in all of its beauty and glory.”

  She stopped, her voice breaking. Lydia was enraptured, watching her face. She was unaware that she too was weeping. Caroline and Melissa were riveted to her every word.

  Vilate shook her head, willing the emotions to hold back for a little longer. “I saw what it meant to be sealed in the order of celestial marriage to Heber. I saw the glory and the honor and the exaltation that would be conferred upon me, and upon all women, if we could but accept it and stand by our husbands’ sides. It was more glorious than words can describe and I was on fire with joy.

  “And then . . .” She wiped at her eyes. She was looking only at Heber now, who also had started to weep again. “Then I was shown the woman Heber had taken to be his wife. I contemplated with similar joy the vast and boundless love and union which this order would bring about, as well as the increase of my husband’s kingdoms and the power and glory that were being extended to the both of us throughout the eternities, worlds without end.”

  Heber took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. Brigham was blinking rapidly. Nathan and Carl were staring at her in utter amazement. All the women in the room were weeping, including Melissa.

  Vilate took a deep breath, wiping at the tears quickly. “I rose from my bedside and went to find Heber. He tells me now that when I appeared in his room, my countenance was gleaming with joy. ‘Heber,’ I said, ‘the Lord has shown me what you were asked to keep from me.’”

  Now a sob shuddered through her body. Heber was up in an instant and holding her against his shoulder, but she wasn’t done and she wouldn’t let him take her to her seat until she was. “I will not tell you that this is an easy thing to accept,” she said haltingly, “nor that it has been without its trials and challenges since then. But I cannot doubt—” Her shoulders pulled back. “I cannot doubt that the order of plural marriage has been given by God, for the Lord revealed it to me through the glorious answer to my prayer.”

  Chapter Notes

  The events recounted in this chapter come almost exclusively from Orson F. Whitney’s biography of Heber C. Kimball. This source tells of the test with Vilate and of the agony it cost Heber. The experience Vilate had in getting her own witness was told by her eldest daughter Helen Mar and can be found in that same work. (See LHCK, pp. 321–27, 439–40.) Heber married Sarah Peak Noon sometime early in
1842.

  Brigham’s comments about desiring the grave come from his own words (see JD 3:266). Brigham was married to Lucy Ann Decker Seeley in June 1842 by the Prophet Joseph (see American Moses, p. 102).

  It is the belief of Latter-day Saints that a person cannot achieve the highest degree of celestial glory in a single state (see D&C 131:1–4). Celestial marriage refers to a marriage in which a man and a woman are sealed together for both time and eternity by those holding appropriate priesthood keys. This is now done only in temples. However, since plural marriage was instituted at about the same time that Joseph began sealing husbands and wives together in celestial marriage, some early members assumed that these two were the same and that a man will someday have to have plural wives in order to be exalted. In a 1933 statement, the First Presidency of the Church specifically stated that celestial, or eternal, marriage and plural marriage are not synonymous terms and that it was incorrect to assume plural marriage is required for exaltation (see James R. Clark, ed., Messages of the First Presidency, 6 vols. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75], 5:315–30).

  Thus, as related here, Vilate Kimball saw two separate things in answer to her prayer. First, she was shown the glory and majesty that comes to a woman through celestial marriage. She then also saw that in plural marriage there could be eternal blessings as well.

  Chapter 29

  I . . .” Nathan looked down, rubbing his temples with the tip of his fingers. “I’m not ready for bed yet, Lydia. I think I’ll walk for a little while.”

  They were on the porch. The house was dark and silent, which meant that young Joshua had gotten the children to bed and had finally gone to bed himself. She looked up at the full moon, which was high in the sky. It had been just coming over the eastern bluffs when they walked out of the door on the way to Benjamin and Mary Ann’s. Now it was past midnight.

  She reached out and took his hand. He barely noticed. “I’ll walk with you, if you’d like.”