Ashes to Ashes

by A Lonergan

Something wet touched my face and I jerked forward. My head throbbed and my stomach still hurt terribly. Priscella was nowhere to be found and Brunhilda hadn't returned. But I didn't know how long I had been out. Judging by the dried blood on the floor, it had been awhile. Gus Gus sat by my face and gave my cheek another sniff. I rolled onto my stomach and eventually found my footing. Even minimal movement made my entire body ache. I let out a sigh and decided that the best way out of here was to follow the trail of blood. The little mouse watched me as I went, but stayed in his spot. A wave of dizziness washed over me and my body slumped against the wall. I let out a cry as my legs collapsed from underneath me and I fell on my hands and knees. I groaned as my body sagged to the ground and my face pressed into the grime there. I closed my eyes as I heard Gus Gus squeaking. I figured it was only his worry until I felt a little paw on my cheek. Before I would have flinched away from the feeling of an animal in disgust. Now it was the only comfort I got in this desolate place.

  I opened my eyes slowly and found myself staring at a raccoon instead. I shook my head in confusion. How had I gotten their paw sizes confused? The two creatures were very different in size. How this animal managed to get in here was beyond me. I still hadn't found a way out. But animals were far more clever than we gave them credit for. Gus Gus came into view but my eyes couldn't focus on him. Behind him, several animals were lined up, and they all held fruits and nuts of some kind. Then at the back was another raccoon with a deep-set leaf. In the center of it was water.

  My eyes finally found Gus Gus and I almost burst into tears. Tears of relief, gratitude, and guilt. Guilt over the way I had treated animals my entire life. No wonder my mother had a soft spot for the mice in the castle. They had probably taken care of her too. One by one they piled the food up in front of me and tears managed to spring free from my eyes.

  "Thank you, all of you, so much."

  Gus Gus nodded and gave me a look that I interpreted as a smile. "Gus Gus loves helping."

  I ran my finger down his snout before I picked up an apple. I couldn't help but look at it in a moment of adoration. It had been far too long since I had seen fruit. A moan escaped my lips before I bit into the juicy morsel. Sugary sweetness ran down my chin, but I didn't care. I didn't stop to wipe away the stickiness as I devoured it. When I got to the core, the raccoon held his hand out and I gave it to him with appreciation before I picked up another.

  After a few minutes, Gus Gus stopped me. "Ara get sick, slow." He was right, if I continued to eat like I was, it would do more harm than help. I knew that from the time I decided to go on strike as a child and starved myself. My parents never thought I would actually go through with it. But I did. After a week of no food, but lots of water, I was reconsidering the fit I was throwing. I was moody and didn't know how much longer I could take watching others eat in front of me. But I was determined. Beatrice had tried to sneak me food, but I wouldn't budge. I was a little girl on a mission, though now I couldn't even remember what that mission was. But I had won. My parents had caved and I started to eat again. I had gobbled up everything in sight and Beatrice had watched in horror. She was only a handmaiden in training at the time, and thank goodness for that. When the vomiting had started she immediately ran for help. The herbalist, Alister's mother, had been kind and helped guide me through the sickness. But she didn't leave without scolding me. Alister's mother had looked me in the eye and said, "Don't be foolish girl, pick and choose your battles, some of them just aren't worth it."

  Me being me, lifted my head in defiance and smiled. "I will do whatever it takes to win." And I had every day since.

  Eighteen

  Arabella

  With both of the aunts gone and not sure when they would return, I immediately started cleaning the bedroom I had to sleep in. I slumped my shoulders. I knew I didn't have to sleep there, but it felt like the closest thing to a home for me. The raccoons brought me firewood from the den and helped me get the fireplace started before Gus Gus brought me more water. I had no idea how they were getting it in, but I was grateful for it and there was no way I was going to jinx the good fortune that had come my way. Scrubbing the dirty floors with filthy water was counterproductive. I sat back on my heels and scowled. How was I supposed to make the best out of this situation if I couldn't at least make myself comfortable?

  The guilt settled in quick on that thought. Tears filled my eyes and I let them out. I let out every single frustration and fear. It was all my fault and I deserved to be here. I had been the one that couldn't listen to anyone's advice. I had to win and it had cost me everything. I looked at the broken pieces of glass on the floor and didn't recognize myself. I was filthy. What I would do to have a bath. Alister had been right, I was nothing but a spoiled brat that hadn't known anything. I had sacrificed everything to win. Gus Gus sat down beside me and watched the dirty water swirling on the floor. An idea occurred to me.

  "Gus Gus? Do you think you could get into the castle?"

  Gus Gus shook his head. "We came from castle. Cinderellie."

  "She sent you?"

  Gus Gus nodded. "Magic won't let us back in castle. Bad lady too powerful."

  My shoulders slumped. "Is there any way I can get out of here? I thought for sure all of the magic was gone, but how do the aunts get in and out?"

  "Magic in blood." Of course. I was doomed. I had no magic and neither did the animals.

  Dinner was the same thing as lunch and breakfast. The animals had brought nuts, fruits, dandelion, bark, and mint. The bark was interesting and I was surprised I had enjoyed it. Gus Gus told me to chew on it and then spit the rest out. It left a sweet taste in my mouth that reminded me of the tea I had with my breakfast each morning back at the castle. Nostalgia gripped my heart. What if I never escaped?

  "Ara be happy. Ara need to be strong to escape." I knew the little mouse was right, but some moments were harder than others, especially when I thought about how my parents were fairing, if they were still alive.

  I was still stuck in my treacherous thoughts as I prepared to sleep by the fireplace. I pulled the ragged clothing from the top of the bed and managed to wrap it around me before I closed my eyes. A squeak made me roll over and give Gus Gus a look of annoyance. But before I could do that, he held up a sewing kit.

  I frowned. "I wish I could, but I don't know how to sew." All of the woodland creatures formed a circle around me and lifted the makeshift blanket off of me. One by one they sewed all of the rags together. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed. I wrapped the new quilt around my shoulders and cried happy tears. Not once in my entire life had I ever experienced anything like this, and not once would I have ever appreciated it. I knew without a doubt that I didn't deserve it and I would have never deserved it before either. But I also knew I would treasure these sweet moments.

  Nineteen

  Alister

  Once again I dropped from the trees with a smile behind my mask. There was something thrilling about this life. Thrilling about stealing from the wealthy and giving back to the poor. The only problem was the woman in the carriage. She was beautiful but she was spoiled. She didn't scream as we killed the undead leading her carriage. She simply stared at us and told us to do her worst. There was only one other woman I had ever met that never looked afraid like that. My heart ached at the thought and I tried to push it away. But all it did was conjure the image of bright blue eyes and wild blonde hair. I swallowed back my desire and focused on the task at hand.

  She raised her nose at me and her brown hair started to slip from the bonnet on her head. "I'm not afraid of you."

  "Good," I said, my voice muffled by the fabric over my mouth. "We don't plan to hurt you."

  "I don't believe you," she spat.

  "Where are you headed?" Rafe said as he dropped down beside me and gave me a shrug. He was the youngest and wildest of our troop. His long red hair whipped around his head but most of his face was concealed by a slip of fabric. I could barely see his green eyes pee
king out from the top of it.

  "I am on my way home.," she said curtly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  "There is no one in town that lives this nicely. I think you are headed in the wrong direction." Rafe said. The woman didn't say anything else. Rafe shrugged before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. I rolled my eyes. He was all about the theatrics. He was an honorable man and would probably tie her up and leave her somewhere. I pawed through the carriage curiously. There were, what seemed to be, hundreds of gowns and behind them more food than I had seen in months. Dried meats, roasted nuts, and more honeycomb than the forest provided. The only place that could produce that much was the castle. I had figured the carriage was from the castle, but what was this woman doing coming from there? The carriage didn't have the typical decorative pieces or the royal seal on the side, but the rotting guards and the contents inside spoke differently.

  Just as I was about to jump out of the carriage something shiny caught my eye. I crawled back to the silver fabric and pushed all of the other gowns aside. My stomach dropped. The material felt the same, but I wouldn't know it was the same until I pulled it free from the tangle of straps. When I yanked it free, I dropped the dress like it had burned me. It fluttered to the floor and I stared at it in horror. What was this woman doing with Arabella's dress?

  As I continued to dig, I found familiar dresses. I fell back into the seat and nausea rolled over me. I had to know where she was headed but I couldn't let the rest of the troop in on it. I knew how they felt about royalty and they didn't need to know about my fixation with the princess.

  * * *

  I decided the only thing I could do was pretend I hadn't found a clue. Pretend I wasn't on a secret mission to find the princess and pretend I was okay. After a few days, I found myself wandering back to the forest. As much as I hadn't wanted to, we had burned the gowns inside of the carriage. Some of the plainer dresses had been sent into the village or into the neighboring kingdom to be sold. But Flick and Rink were already getting unwanted attention from the kingdom bordering our own. If we sold the expensive dresses it would raise suspicion and we would surely be arrested. The food was taken back into the town and rationed off. I chewed on a piece of the honeycomb as I retraced my steps. It had been a few days but the smell of fire and smoke hung heavily in the air. I was thankful for my hood and mask as the smell got stronger.

  There she was, just where we left her. She was sopping wet from head to toe, which was nice, it meant I didn't need to bring water with me. She scowled and it made her look like a drowned feline. "Oh, it's you again."

  I smirked even though she couldn't see it. "I wasn't the one that tied you to the tree."

  "You let him!" she shrieked.

  "Did he violate you?" I asked with a tad bit of concern for her benefit. Her shoulders slumped against the ropes holding her up. Her dress clung to her curves and mud had splattered up around her calves to her knees.

  "No, he didn't."

  "Good, my troop are wild but they are respectable."

  "Why are you here?" She wasted no time.

  "I am here to let you go."

  She gave me a surprised look. "Why would you do that?"

  "My men don't have as much honor as I do. I refuse to see you hurt just because you got in with a bad crowd."

  She narrowed her eyes at me. "Okay."

  That was that. I walked around to the other side of the tree and sliced through the ropes. Just as I predicted she whirled around and tried to attack the place I had been standing. I didn't blame her, but I had prepared myself. I was halfway up the tree. She spun around in circles, but never looked up. She let out a breath and walked toward the road. I could hear her mumblings from below as I followed her from above. The branches under my feet barely made a sound as I ran through them, tree to tree. The only problem I would face was when we made it to the road, depending on what direction she would go.

  Fortunately for me, she stayed in the shadows of the trees. When we made it to her destination, she looked over her shoulder before she continued on. It wasn't too far from where we had captured her. Lady Luck had been on our side. Just a few minutes late and we would have lost her. The woman looked over her shoulder again before she lifted her skirts and yanked a dagger from the holster at her thigh. I narrowed my eyes. Why hadn't she used that against us when we had captured her? She sliced it along her palm quickly and blood splashed onto the front of her dress. I frowned. She pressed her hand against the bare wooden wall and a door appeared. I swallowed back my horror as the decrepit cottage swallowed her whole.

  Twenty

  Arabella

  There was a crash in the hallway. I jerked out of my dreamless slumber before I grabbed the hot poker and ran into the hall. Leaning against the wall was Aunt Brunhilda. She smiled as she fell over. There was a handprint of blood on the wall where she had appeared at.

  I rushed forward and helped her up. I could have smiled. I wouldn't have had the energy to do that before my friends had supplied me with the nutrients to survive and thrive. I felt like a new person again. I just hoped that Brunhilda didn't beat it out of me now that she was back.

  Much to my surprise, she gave me a small smile. "You look better. Is Pris here?"

  I shook my head. "No, she has been gone for weeks. I thought for sure you would have been back before now."

  Brunhilda shook her head. "I was stopped by some rebels."

  She was filthy. She had mud caked to her legs and her dress was torn up the side. Horror washed over me. "They didn't..." I couldn't make myself say it even though I didn't care for her, I would never wish that upon someone.

  My aunt shook her head. "They were odd men. They tied me to a tree, took the food from the carriage then lit it on fire. I thought for sure they would want something more. I'm not Cinderella pretty, but I sure ain't ugly either."

  "Maybe they were good men with honor." I helped her down the hall and sat her by the fire. I had managed to finally get the house somewhat clean. It had taken days and nights with a lot of help from the animals, but I was pretty proud of it. By the look on Brunhilda's face, she was too.

  "Men don't have honor, Ara. That's the first thing you need to get through your pretty head. They had agendas and that is all. They take what they want and then they spit you out."

  I frowned, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything back. Who hurt you, Hildie?

  Then she fell apart and I stood there dumbstruck. I tried to keep my surprise off of my face, but I knew I was failing when Brunhilda wailed, "I don't know what I am going to do. There is no way we will survive the winter now. All of that food is gone."

  "You can't go into town and get more?" I hoped I was helping to solve the issue but all she did was throw her head into her hands and sob.

  "No! We aren't welcome in the village and I don't have money to buy anything. Priscella is the one over our finances. She is going to be furious when she returns." Brunhilda sat up and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "How have you managed to survive all of this time? You look healthier than you did when you showed up."

  I had to think quickly. I couldn't rat out my friends. I swallowed and made a face. "You're going to think this is gross."

  Brunhilda made a horrified face. "Oh, goodness, maybe you shouldn't tell me."

  "There was a family of mice living in the mattress." My stomach rolled as the words left my mouth. I really hoped Gus Gus wasn't around.

  "Say no more!" she shrieked.

  "How did you survive before your mother went to the castle?" I asked as I took a seat across from her.

  "We had her magic then. It was easy to make up a disguise. Now I am stuck relying on others and I am terrified."

  I nodded my head. I understood the feeling and as much as I wanted to be bitter toward her, I couldn't be. Especially after the talk we had before she left. Brunhilda leaned back in her chair and she eyed me. "I suppose we have some resources. We have chickens and a few goats."

 
"Why don't you go back to the castle and tell your mother what happened? Maybe she will send more supplies." I tried to sound hopeful but I knew the answer.

  "You don't know my mother. You saw what she wanted you to see. If I go to the castle and tell her what has happened, she will throw me into the dungeons and starve me until I admit I appreciate anything she gives me. She will punish us for nothing. Well, she will punish me for nothing." She stopped and looked into the dying fire. "She won't punish Pris. In her eyes, Pris is perfect and can do no wrong and that's why she's to be married and I am to be here, torturing you."

  I tried not to flinch. I should have seen it coming. But she continued on even though I remained silent. "But I don't want to do that. I just want to live my life and maybe fall in love. I can't do that stuck here."

  "Then why don't you go do that?" I asked as I pulled at a loose string on my dress.

  "What am I supposed to do with you?"

  I shrugged. Being around her and her sister was like walking on eggshells. I had to be careful of what I said.

  She sighed. "If I let you go, they will kill me. You have to understand."

  I nodded my head. Never before had I held my tongue like I did then, but I knew it was for the best. I couldn't risk the temper of my aunts or my step-grandmother. If anything, this was all a trap.

  I woke up more refreshed than I had been in months. I yawned and stretched and in the moment, I almost forgot where I was. Even as reality settled down over my mind, I smiled. There was a little bit to be thankful for this morning, starting with the honeycomb on the table next to the bed. It felt like a dream but knowing it was real made things bittersweet. I had spent days fixing the table next to my bed. While I had been working on that, they had been patching up the holes in my mattress and crafting pillows for me. Through all of the darkness, they had been my light. Gus Gus was nowhere to be found, but I appreciated his gift. Beside it was a small sprig of mint and a little leaf with water. I chewed on the mint for a few seconds before I used the water to cleanse my mouth then spit the rest into the glowing coals. I pulled my apron over my head and made my bed. It wasn't much, but it gave me the extra push to get my day started and hopefully finish cleaning the dirt hole I now lived in.